


Like a Song

by Ellessey



Series: Like a Song [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Blow Jobs, Dancing Lessons, Falling In Love, Family Feels, Feels, First Meetings, First Time Together, Fluff and Humor, Former Idol Suga, Friends as Family, Frottage, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Kid Fic, M/M, Minor Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Minor Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Music, Original Character - Sugawara Mai, POV Alternating, Pining, Sawamura Daichi & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Single Parent Suga, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Sugawara Koushi & Azumane Asahi Friendship, Texting, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, letting go of the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 06:22:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 110,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13496566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellessey/pseuds/Ellessey
Summary: 'Suga pokes at the vegetables, humming to himself, and his mind drifts back to Asahi’s neighbor bursting in earlier that evening and stumbling upon him, his lovely, broad cheeks flushing. He was awfully cute, nervous and noble, and sosolid,but Suga won’t dwell on him. A college boy with a deep voice and bold, dark eyes is not what he needs, and he knows that he is not what a boy like that needs either.'--Sugawara Koushi and Sawamura Daichi are about to find themselves on opposite sides of a very thin apartment wall, but that’s the only life experience either of them has shared up until now. Suga’s new single father status means trading in his pop idol lifestyle to take care of an infant he already loves, even though he’s never known what it means to belong to a family before. Daichi is enjoying ordinary college life (he still has trouble with laundry), still talks to his parents on the weekends, and has never known how good it feels to have his life shaken up.But in spite of their differences, or because of them, they connect with each other more than they ever could have guessed. It turns out the thinner the walls, the easier it becomes to know each other’s hearts.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small disclaimer before we begin...this is a feel-good story, my friends. It is idealistic. It will not hold to the strictures of reality in terms of any details surrounding the Japanese entertainment industry, or...you know, in terms of boys as devastatingly Good as Daichi actually existing. The world is hard sometimes, and I just wanted to write an AU filled up with support, and softness, and happily-ever-after kind of love. If you're looking for intense amounts of fluff and feelings, you have come to exactly the right place, and I hope you'll enjoy your stay <3
> 
> ★ This fic is complete and will be updated weekly. **Rating will go up in later chapters.** ★

It starts with the music. Daichi is so focused on his homework that he doesn't notice it at first, until he realizes he's tapping his foot to the steady, rapid beat. He looks around, as if he'll be able to determine its source right here in his bedroom, when he has never once turned on something this gratingly loud and screamy.

He blames it on his roommate at first, and knocks his fist against the wall from his seat at his desk, hoping that will be enough to get him to turn it down.

“Kuroo!” he shouts, when the deafening bass and unintelligible vocals continue. “Yo!”

Nothing. Daichi picks up his phone and sends a message, because it was a long day and he doesn't feel like walking all the way to Kuroo's room (the whole two steps it would take from one bedroom door to the other).

 **Daichi** : im trying to talk to you

 **Kuroo** : sorry bro...cant hear you over your shitty music

 **Daichi** : my shitty music? i thought it was yours

 **Kuroo** : really sawamura? does this sound like my kind of jam?

 **Daichi** : who the fuck knows?

 **Kuroo** : give me some credit...I have very refines tastes  
**Kuroo** : refined  
**Kuroo:**  maybe it's Azumane?

Azumane Asahi lives in the corner unit next door, and the first time Daichi met him he jumped about three feet in the air because Daichi came up behind him at the mailboxes and said hello. The prospect of this angry noise pollution being his doing seems very unlikely.

 **Daichi** : asahi? really?

 **Kuroo** : okay...probably not. but i do think it's coming from his place  
**Kuroo** : maybe we should go make sure no one broke in?

 **Daichi** : just to listen to screamo??

 **Kuroo** : i don't know??

 **Daichi** : i don't want to bug him...maybe he had a bad day and this...helps?

 **Kuroo** : how could this possibly help? it's making me want to maim myself so I don't have to hear it anymore

 **Daichi** : i know...but we’ve really only known him a few months. maybe this is his thing

 **Kuroo** : maybe  
**Kuroo** : maybe he comes home from a long terrible day and theres nothing that will make him feel better but shredding away on his air guitar

 **Daichi** : maybe he stands on his table and imagines he's a metal god

 **Kuroo** : maybe he wears black leather pants

 **Daichi** : god i hope so he'd look good in those hey?

 **Kuroo** : fuck yeah

 **Daichi** : really someone being in his apartment is more likely than that though

 **Kuroo** : yeah okay. go check then huh?

 **Daichi** : why me?

 **Kuroo** : you're more intimidating  
**Kuroo** : even though you're pocket sized

 **Daichi** : asshole  
**Daichi** : fine, if I get murdered just know that you can have nothing of mine

 **Kuroo** : you HAVE nothing. except tiny clothes that wouldn't fit me

Daichi has suddenly found the motivation to get up and go to Kuroo's room, so he can intimidate him in person. It doesn't go all that well, because Kuroo screams like a girl when Daichi storms in, as if Daichi would actually hurt him, and Daichi laughs so hard he forgets to be threatening.

“Okay, you're right,” he says, when he has more or less composed himself. “You stay here and continue to be useless, I’ll make sure Asahi's alive.”

“Good man,” Kuroo says, with absolutely zero shame. Lazy son of a bitch. He leans over from his perch on his bed to slap Daichi’s shoulder, and Daichi shoves him onto his back before taking his leave.

“If I get shot…” he says over his shoulder.

“I’ll write you a real nice eulogy, buddy,” Kuroo calls after him.

Daichi snorts, considers grabbing something he could potentially use as a weapon, then just leaves the apartment, because honestly the most likely scenario here is just that Asahi’s radio fritzed out and he’s not even there.

“Azumane,” he calls, rapping at the door a few times. “Oi, Asahi!”

This is so pointless. There’s no way Asahi would even be able to hear him with how loud this shit is, and he’s going to get in trouble if someone other than Daichi and Kuroo decides to complain about it.

“Asahi!” he tries one more time, and then he just turns the handle. It’s unlocked, so he lets the door fall open, taking a step inside and looking around. No Asahi, no Asahi’s giant shoes in the entryway. Nothing out of the ordinary at all except that music, and that blanket there on the couch, and…and him.

There’s a guy lying right in the middle of the living room floor. Daichi will never admit this to Kuroo, but for just a second he feels like throwing up could be a real possibility, because oh God what if he’s dead? What if Azumane is actually a psychopath and he’s murdered this poor, beautiful boy who is…wow, he’s…he’s really beautiful. And he’s not dead, Daichi is almost positive. He’s on his back, with his arms folded behind his head. A hint of a small, peaceful smile on his face, completely at odds with the jarring, angry music. His shirt has ridden up just slightly, and Daichi can see a band of pale skin, rising and falling gently.

He’s not dead. Daichi breathes in slow and deep. Okay. It’s okay. Except, who the hell is he?

“H-hello?” he tries, but it’s not loud enough, and the guy doesn’t show any sign of having heard him. “Are…hey, are you okay?”

The guy doesn’t move at all, doesn’t even seem the slightest bit startled. He just opens his eyes and looks right at Daichi, and he smiles.

“What?” he says, because the music is so damn loud that even though he heard Daichi’s voice, he doesn’t know what he said.

Daichi looks around, spotting the stereo that's crammed on the shelf of one of Asahi's bookcases, and going over to turn it off. It's dead silent when Daichi turns back to the stranger, who is now partially sitting up, propping himself on his elbows.

Obviously he’s okay, so Daichi doesn't bother repeating that question. “Who are you?” he asks instead.

“Sugawara Koushi,” the guy says. “I'm a friend of Asahi's. From junior high.”

“Ah,” Daichi says. Sugawara Koushi’s shirt is still rucked up on his flat stomach, and Daichi can see a soft line of hair trailing down from the dip of his belly button.

“And you must be either Kuroo-san or Daichi-san,” Sugawara continues. Daichi’s eyes snap back up to his face and he nods his head, resolutely ignoring how obvious he was just being, and hoping Sugawara will do the same. “But you definitely look more like a Daichi.”

“What…” Daichi begins, feeling himself smile even as his cheeks burn a little, self consciously. “What does a Daichi look like?”

Sugawara doesn't answer him. He just looks him over slowly, from head to toe and back again. It's more friendly than flirtatious, but Daichi feels the heat building more heavily in his face.

“Like you,” Sugawara says. “Am I right?”

“Yes,” Daichi says.

Sugawara smiles again, and then the silence falls back over them and Daichi’s mind catches up to how weird this is. This conversation, this guy lying on his neighbor's floor, the complete lack of explanation as to why he's here.

“Did you…need something?” Sugawara asks.

“I—sorry, I tried knocking, but the music was _really_ loud, and we…Kuroo and I, we were a little worried about Asahi because…well he's not the death metal type.”

“No, he's not, is he?” Sugawara laughs. “Is your mind at ease now that you see it’s me and not him?”

“Now…I think I'm more confused,” Daichi says honestly, because Sugawara, with his pale pink lips, and soft silvery hair framing his face, does not exactly strike him as the death metal type either. “Does Asahi know you’re here?”

“No,” Sugawara says. “I break in occasionally to use his subpar stereo system, and then slip away into the night with dear Asahi-san none the wiser.”

Sugawara doesn’t smile, and his voice doesn’t betray him at all. There’s just a catch of light in his eyes, a slight narrowing that makes them smile even if his lips do not.

“Right. Well carry on, then,” Daichi says, and the smile spreads to Sugawara’s lips so quick it’s like a little firecracker has just gone off, sending echoing warm sparks up and down the back of Daichi’s neck.

“I’m going to be staying with him for a bit,” Sugawara says. “I’m sorry about the music, though. It was a hell of a weekend and I just needed to…” He waves long, slender fingers in the air, flicking them as if he’s banishing whatever happened over the past couple days. “You know.”

“Sure,” Daichi says. “Do you, um…if you want company until Asahi gets home, you can come to our place.”

“Thank you,” Sugawara says warmly. “But I think I’ll clean up a little and get some dinner made, so I can surprise Asahi like a good little houseguest.”

“Okay,” Daichi says, both disappointed and relieved. Being in the same room as Sugawara is doing weird things to him. He thinks he might still be blushing, and his voice sounds too loud and deep, and Sugawara has gotten to his feet now and fuck…Daichi needs to leave immediately before he stares so hard Sugawara is forced to tell Asahi what a creep his neighbor is. “It was nice to meet you, Sugawara-san,” he says quickly. “I hope you’ll enjoy your visit.”

Sugawara’s eyes crinkle up when he smiles this time. It’s obscenely cute. “Just Suga,” he says. “And thank you. I’m sure I’ll see you again.”

“That…that would be…” Holy hell, this is getting bad. Daichi is _not_ this lame. He mocks Kuroo for being this lame. His mouth is dry and his tongue feels tied, and Sugawara…Suga, his feet are bare and Daichi has just now noticed this, and it seems intensely personal somehow. And so cute, the way his toes curl in the soft rug beneath them. “Great,” he finally barks out, disjointed and awkward and far too loud. He nods his head and turns around before this can get any worse, pulling the door shut tight behind him, and then hurling himself into his own apartment.

“ _Kuroo,”_ he hisses.

“What?” Kuroo asks, ambling out of his room, sleepy eyes widening when they fall on Daichi and take in his barely restrained state of panic. “What happened? Was Asahi naked or something? Did you see his dick? Is it _huge?”_

Daichi blinks. His panic settles slightly. “What is the _matter_ with you?”

“What? Nothing. I've never thought about it before I was just…just wondering,” Kuroo says, then he reaches out to smack Daichi’s chest and adds, “Like you never have.”

“There’s no way it’s not huge,” Daichi says. “But stop it, listen. Asahi wasn’t there, it was his friend Sugawara, from junior high.”

“I don’t know who that is.”

“Me neither,” Daichi says, waving a hand and then continuing in a whisper. “But he knew our names so obviously Asahi has mentioned us, and Kuroo he’s…he’s—”

“Was _he_ naked?”

“No, you piece of shit. Can’t you focus for two seconds?”

“If you’re going to have that attitude…” Kuroo says loftily, taking two long steps backwards towards his bedroom.

Daichi reaches out to grab a fistful of his shirt and pull him back again. “His friend is _gorgeous,_ and I made a total idiot of myself in front of him,” he growls.  

“Oh!” Kuroo’s smile tugs up on the right, and then it overcomes his face and he drops down to the floor, right there in the middle of their living room. “Spill,” he says, eyes bright and expectant as he looks up at Daichi.

Daichi could grumble and pretend that this isn’t something they do, but it’s just him and Kuroo here, and the fact is…it is. For all the animosity between them when they played on rival volleyball teams in high school, Kuroo has become his best friend since they started university together almost two years ago. And this, for better or worse, is a thing that they do.

He sinks down in front of Kuroo and rehashes his entire conversation with Suga. The way he couldn’t stop looking at that tiny bare strip of skin above his jeans, and the way he acted just as embarrassingly useless as Kuroo does three times a week, when that little blond guy he’s so enamored with sits in front of them in Biology.

“I was…fairly suave with him last week,” Kuroo points out. “I think he definitely considered laughing at my mitochondria joke.”

“He did _not,”_ Daichi says.

“You know what, Sawamura? No one asked you. And we’re talking about _your_ romantic ineptitude right now, so let's not get off track.”

Daichi groans and presses his palms to his eyes, scrubbing over them roughly. “It doesn't even matter. There's no way he's single. God…do you think he’s dating _Asahi?”_

“No, he is not dating Asahi. Have you not seen the way Asahi loses his shit over the pizza delivery kid? At _least_ twice a week? Does he really strike you as the type to flirt behind the back of his long distance boyfriend?”

“That's…not flirting,” Daichi points out, thinking of the way Asahi always seems to forget how to talk when the spiky-haired delivery boy shows up. “He does order a _lot_ of pizza though…oh my God he's subjecting himself to that awkwardness on purpose?”

“ _Yes._ Dude, what is wrong with us? How can three attractive men all be so hopeless?”

“Maybe we should stop hanging out with each other,” Daichi says. “I think I had way better game before we started living together.”

“You didn’t,” Kuroo says, patting Daichi’s shoulder consolingly. “You _were_ less of a spaz though, I actually used to think you were pretty smooth.”

“Yeah well, I thought you were smooth too, and now I know the truth.”

“Right,” Kuroo says, not bothering to argue.

“I was just…surprised,” Daichi says. “And that music threw me off.”

“You keep telling yourself that, buddy,” Kuroo says, rubbing his shoulder again and then getting to his feet. “I gotta finish my homework.”

Daichi groans, because he does too, but mostly because he knows it wasn’t the music, or even the fact that he was startled to find someone other than Asahi in his apartment. It was just Daichi, reacting to Suga. The appearance of something so lovely, so unexpectedly, yes. But also the serenity on his face in the midst of all that noise, and the way he seemed to know right where to look to meet Daichi’s eyes, before he’d even opened his own.

Daichi is _not_ a spaz, and he prides himself on generally carrying himself with composure, not losing control of himself the way Kuroo does. But maybe he doesn’t have it quite as together as he thought, because just thinking about the brown-eyed boy in the next apartment makes his mouth feel dry all over again.

His notes are right where he left them on his desk, after he’s gotten a glass of water and gone back to his room. He shifts them around, flips through them and doesn’t read them, finally picking up his phone instead.

 **Daichi** : just met your friend Suga

 **Asahi** : oh, good. I meant to tell you he’d be coming, but i just found out last night and i was running late this morning  
**Asahi** : you were nice to him right?

 **Daichi** : ??  
**Daichi** : of course i was?

 **Asahi** : you scared the hell out of me the first time we met

 **Daichi** : aljsdflk  
**Daichi** : i literally did nothing but smile and say hey!

 **Asahi** : you had your arms crossed though...you looked really menacing

 **Daichi** : oh my god...i was nice to him  
**Daichi** : you guys are old friends then?

 **Asahi** : yeah..we both grew up in miyagi, but he’s lived a few places since then  
**Asahi** : i think he’s just in tokyo for a week or so

 **Daichi** : cool  
**Daichi** : he seems nice. his musical leanings leave something to be desired though

 **Asahi** : you don’t like pop music?

 **Daichi** : pop?

 **Asahi** : I need to get back to work daichi...see you tomorrow?

 **Daichi** : yeah sure...kuroo found a bag of pancake mix that doesn’t seem overly expired if you wanna join us for breakfast

 **Asahi** : sounds good!

Daichi sets his phone down and slowly lowers his head to his desk, staring at the blurred lines of his notes.

The music starts up again, very much not pop of any kind. It’s quieter this time, but there's still no missing it.

 **Kuroo** : he better be real cute Sawamura

 **Daichi** : i invited them for breakfast tomorrow?  
**Daichi** : you’re making pancakes

 **Kuroo** : ...  
**Kuroo** : alright then

Alright then. Daichi hopes that by the next morning he’ll have gotten a grip and can at least talk to Suga in a normal decibel range. He thinks about how long Kuroo has been unsuccessfully trying to woo his crush with bad science puns, and lets his head fall back to the desk.

* * *

Suga is no chef, but he knows Asahi doesn't have extravagant tastes. He used to eat over at the Azumane house a few nights a week when they were younger, and Asahi would always thank his mother genuinely and politely for whatever basic meal she set before them. Everything always tasted amazing to Suga, because it was home-cooked, and it went along with a mother and father and siblings sitting around a table together.

It’s been a long time since Suga lived at home. The moment he was given the opportunity to leave, at fifteen years old, he had taken it, and not once in the past five years has he been homesick. It was never really a home to begin with. Just Suga, and the cousins that teased and taunted him, the aunt that looked at him like a mouth she shouldn’t have to feed.

It’s not something Suga dwells on, certainly not anymore. His is not a sad story. A slightly complicated one still, perhaps, but not sad.

Suga is healthy, he has good friends, money in the bank, and a warm meal coming together in front of him. Simple steamed vegetables and sticky noodles, and mochi in the freezer that he picked up on his way to Asahi’s apartment.

He pokes at the vegetables, humming to himself, and his mind drifts back to Asahi’s neighbor bursting in earlier that evening and stumbling upon him, his lovely, broad cheeks flushing. He was awfully cute, nervous and noble, and so _solid,_ but Suga won’t dwell on him either. A college boy with a deep voice and bold, dark eyes is not what he needs, and he knows that he is not what a boy like that needs either. Even though it was so nice, the way he was flustered by the situation, but clearly not because he had any idea who Suga is.

The steam is warm and damp on his face and Suga rubs it away, tugs his fingers through half-dry hair and gathers it up in a tiny bundle at the back of his head, securing it with an elastic pulled from around his wrist. He has just dished up the noodles and veggies onto two large plates—chipped yellow ones that must have been handed down to Asahi, because Suga remembers eating off of them when he was thirteen—when the door opens, and this time it’s a familiar face that greets him.

“Asahi!”

“Suga,” Asahi says, opening his arms when Suga hurtles towards him, and squeezing him tightly.

It’s been almost half a year since they last saw each other, which isn’t all that uncommon, but it feels crushing all of a sudden, with everything Suga has held back in that time. Suga presses his face far too hard against Asahi’s chest, and Asahi grunts a little, but he doesn’t push Suga away. He’s steady and warm, like he’s always been, and that is why Suga is here now. Because _this_ is what he needs.

“That smells good,” Asahi says, still holding him, but taking a few shuffling steps towards the counter bar where Suga has set their food. “You didn’t have to cook.”

“It’s the least I could do,” Suga says, finally stepping back and smiling up at his friend. “After inviting myself over with no notice like I did.”

“I’m always happy to see you, you know that,” Asahi says, and Suga nods, but his smile begins to feel strained. Asahi doesn’t know this isn’t like the rest of Suga’s visits, when he was just passing through.

“I know,” Suga says. “Still though, I…I wanted to thank you.”

Asahi smiles, a little hesitantly, because he can read Suga like a book. “No need,” he says. “I’m starving though, so I really appreciate this. Just let me change quickly and we can eat?”

“Sure,” Suga says. “What do you want to drink?”

“Just water’s good,” Asahi says, stepping past Suga and pulling his shirt over his head as he goes.

Suga gets two bottles out of the fridge and perches on one of Asahi’s high wooden stools. “I met your friend!” he calls out.

“He told me,” Asahi says from his bedroom. His voice is muffled, and Suga imagines he’s tugging a sweatshirt down over his face. “He invited us for breakfast at their place tomorrow, if you want to go.”

“Oh,” Suga says, picking up his chopsticks and prodding at his food with them without lifting any. “I’m good with whatever you want to do. Do you hang out there a lot?”

“Quite a bit,” Asahi says, coming back to the counter and sitting down next to Suga, dressed in cozy sweats and a hoodie. “They’re good guys, and I don’t really like being alone that much.”

“Then why do you live alone, silly?” Suga asks, reaching over to lightly pinch the tip of Asahi’s nose.

“Because my favorite person is a national pop sensation, and I can’t live with him,” Asahi shoots back.

Suga laughs, but while it bubbles up naturally, it sounds forced once it leaves him. “Asahi…”

“What is it?” Asahi asks, bumping Suga’s knee with his own.

“There’s some stuff I haven’t told you,” Suga says. This is a massive understatement. He should have told Asahi everything before he came here at all.

“Do you want to tell me now?” Asahi asks.

Suga nods, even though he’s not sure that he does, and he shovels a big bite of noodles into his mouth to give himself a little more time.

“You don’t have to,” Asahi says.

“No…I do,” Suga tells him after he’s swallowed. “Listen…Asahi. Do you remember last time I was here, how I was such a shit, and you knew something was wrong but I wouldn’t tell you?”

“You weren’t a shit,” Asahi says. “You were just…agitated? I felt badly that I couldn’t help you.”

“I was a shit, and I’m sorry. But the thing is…okay wait, I should have gone back further than that. The time I was here before that? In June? I know I didn’t see you much then, but I…I did something really stupid.”

Asahi is quiet, his chopsticks resting on his plate. He keeps his knee pressed next to Suga’s, waiting for him to go on.

“I, um…the show that night was _so good,_ and then we all went out to this club after and I was...I was hyped up and drinking too much, and…Maru-chan was there, you remember her? From school?”

Asahi starts to shake his head, then nods instead with a little hum of understanding when the name connects with a face for him. Pale eyes and shiny, dark hair, a friendly smile tossed across the classroom during lunch. They were never really close with her, but they had mutual friends, and they’d bumped into her a couple times, after both she and Asahi started college in Tokyo.

“It was just really nice," Suga continues, “seeing someone I knew, who liked me before Hikaru. And we were just hanging out, but…” He shakes his head, because even now it feels strange that this story was actually a real event in his life. The memory itself is still so hazy—just tipsy laughter, and soft lips, and bad decisions. “I’d had so much to drink, and I got flirty, and stupid, and we ended up…I went back to her dorm with her?”

Suga wants everything that came after that to just reveal itself to Asahi without Suga having to say it, but he knows Asahi will never follow the trail as far as it really goes, even though he’s sure he knows at least the next part.

“She asked me to meet her, when I came back in September, the time I was awful to you. She told me she was pregnant.” There’s a little catch of breath from Asahi, and Suga plunges on so he can just get the rest of this out. “She was three months along then, you could just barely tell, but she…I got her pregnant, Asahi.”

“H-how?” Asahi asks. “I mean, are you sure? Didn’t you—weren’t you...safe?”

Suga shakes his head. He still can’t quite believe he did something so foolish, even while drunk, and he hates admitting it to Asahi. “I’m sure. It’s definitely mine, and I…Asahi, I want to keep it.”

It’s quiet for a little while, there’s just the tap-tap of Suga’s fingers nervously drumming on the counter.

“Does…does _she?”_ Asahi asks.

“No,” Suga says. “She isn’t ready for that. She was going to put it up for adoption, but it’s…it’s my baby, and I…Asahi please don’t think I’m crazy. It’s my _family_ though, and—”

“I don’t…I don’t think you’re crazy,” Asahi says. “So has she—she must be due really soon, right?”

“Any day,” Suga says. “So what I was…I was hoping that maybe I could stay with you? Just for a bit?”

“With…the baby?” Asahi asks.

Suga buries his face in his hands. He _is_ crazy. There’s nothing in the world that could convince him not to do this, but this is his decision, his life, and not Asahi’s. He never should have thought it was okay to come here and drop this on him.

“I don’t have to,” Suga says. “I can get a place and—and I’ll be okay, I have money, I just…” His voice has become so shaky he thinks it might be better to just stop talking, but a moment later Asahi has pulled Suga off the stool and onto his lap, crushing him in a hug that breaks his resolve to be strong and sends tears streaming down his cheeks.

“Of course you’ll stay here,” Asahi says, his voice even and reassuring next to Suga’s ear. “You’re not doing this alone, Suga. You’ll stay here as long as you want to.”

“I left the band,” Suga forces out, because Asahi needs to know this, too. That Suga won’t be a national pop sensation anymore, flying in and out of Tokyo when their tours pass this way. He can’t do that now. He can’t be Hikaru’s sweetheart when he’s the only thing this baby is going to have.

Asahi strokes his hair, then pulls his head more firmly against his shoulder. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“It—it is,” Suga says, and the tears and the hiccuping voice are not because this isn’t true. It’s _hard,_ and the past two days were pretty awful, finally telling the other members, who have become more of a family than he’s ever had, that he’s stepping down. Some of them were angry, some of them argued and tried to convince him that he shouldn’t do this, or should do it differently. Find a way to stay with them _and_ be a new father.

But Suga knows what’s important, and it isn't topping the charts or mastering mind-spinning choreography for a music video. He loves these things, the triumphs they've shared, and all of the noisy, wonderful chaos and closeness that comes from sharing almost every waking hour with seven other boys. He’ll never be anything but grateful for the group and everything it's given him, but all he’s ever wanted is a real home. The absence of one is what led him to say yes with no questions asked when a talent scout found him in his last year of junior high. And it’s the same thing that made him clasp Maru-chan’s hands when she told him she couldn't do this, couldn't be a parent at twenty years old, and tell her that he could.  

His manager was the hardest part, with his anger over how long Suga waited to tell him, over his refusal to find a compromise, but he came around in the end. He agreed to give Suga leave, even though his contract shouldn't have been up for three more months, and until now there was never any doubt that he would go right back under contract when this one ended.  

“Think about it. We’ll draft your new contract, and when the time comes you _can_ come back,” he’d said, gripping Suga’s shoulder roughly. “There’s never going to be another Sugawaii.”

Suga had laughed ruefully at the nickname, the play on his name and his image in the band—cute, and sweet, and not an unwed father. He’d shaken his head and asked Otake-san to please not wait for something that wouldn’t happen, to not delay bringing in a replacement for him in hopes that they wouldn’t need one.

He’d gone to sleep that night (just last night, even though it seems like it was longer ago) in a hotel room with three other boys, and thought about all the names they have for him, all the silly things their fans call him. He’d closed his eyes to the familiar soundtrack of Hajime’s soft snores and Tooru typing on his laptop, and thought about the name he’ll go by for just one person soon.

“I can't believe you're going to be a dad,” Asahi says, and Suga blinks, wondering how long he's been silent, with Asahi holding him.

He rubs his face into his friend's shoulder and then leans back, climbing onto his own stool again.

“You don't think it's a huge mistake?” he asks.

Asahi bites his lip thoughtfully, then shakes his head. “I don't think so,” he says. “I don't know anything about babies, though. I _am_ the baby.”

Suga laughs and takes a deep shuddering breath, before finally turning to the cooling food in front of him. “I know. I don't expect you to do anything, I just…need to be around you.”

“I _will_ help,” Asahi says.

“I know you will.”

Asahi pats Suga's back and turns to his own food. They eat in a comfortable state of quiet that Suga is so thankful for, even though he knew Asahi would offer it to him from the start. No arguing or belittling or significant, disappointed looks. Just a solid knee still pressed to his own, and a promise of support.

“We don't have to go in the morning, to Daichi’s,” Asahi says when their plates have been cleared and they’re washing them in the sink, along with the pans Suga used.

“He's cute, hm?” Suga says.

“Cute?” Asahi repeats. “He's good looking, I guess. Too scary to be cute, though.”

Suga chuckles and bumps Asahi's hip with his own. “Didn't seem very scary to me.”

“Well, you're not afraid of anything,” Asahi says, and Suga doesn't argue with him even though he’s far from fearless, because he wants to feel brave right now.

“We can go,” he says. “Don’t say anything about the baby though, okay? I don't want to be that guy quite yet.”

“You're going to be you no matter what, Suga.”

“Maybe,” Suga says, but he doesn't believe it. He can't be the same Suga he used to be. Daichi had looked at him like he was a possibility, and if this were a year ago maybe he would have been, but he isn't now. Boys on the cusp of being college juniors don't date boys with babies. Boys with babies they don’t know how to take care of probably don’t have time to be dating anyone at all.

Once Daichi knows, once both of Asahi’s neighbors do, it will shape the way they see him. It won't be the way he wants to be seen.

“I just…I don’t want them to think I’m just some dumb popstar who couldn’t keep it in his pants.”

“They won’t even know you’re a popstar if you don’t tell them,” Asahi says. “All Daichi listens to is weird old American stuff, and you look so different in real life, without the dyed hair and everything.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“And you’re _not_ dumb,” Asahi adds firmly. “They’re not going to think that when they know.”

Suga smiles at Asahi’s certainty, but he’s not so sure that’s true either. “Thanks,” he says, because he knows Asahi believes it. “But let me just be Suga from junior high for tomorrow, 'kay?”

“Sure,” Asahi says. “Of course.”

They finish drying the dishes together, and Asahi straightens the blanket on the couch that Suga napped under when he arrived that morning. He offers Suga his bed and Suga refuses, but they sit together on the couch and make plans for the second bedroom that currently houses Asahi's weight bench, and rows of boxes that his parents couldn't store for him anymore, when they moved out of their old house and into a small condo.

They can just hear the rumble of conversation from the other side of the living room wall. Daichi and Kuroo-san.

“Sound sure carries here,” Suga says. He doesn't add how awful that’s going to be when there's a baby crying at all hours of the night.

“Were you singing earlier?” Asahi asks. “Daichi doesn't seem to like your music.”

Suga laughs softly, thinking of Daichi’s bewildered expression when he walked in on him. “I wasn’t singing,” he says. “It was music therapy.”

“Oh no,” Asahi says. “Suga, couldn’t you have worn headphones? That music is like reverse-therapy. Or…the opposite of therapy, whatever you’d call it. Even when it’s quiet, it’s so _loud.”_

“It’s better when I can feel it with my whole body,” Suga says, and he feels a little more relaxed again just thinking about the way the drums had rattled through him with his limbs pressed to the floor. The way the vocals rode right up his spine, screaming away all of his doubts and worries, and making him feel like he’s more than just a boy who dances and sings in perfect harmony. Making him feel like he’s someone who could roar.

“Just…don’t get us evicted, please,” Asahi says, getting off the couch and stooping to kiss the top of Suga’s head.

“Us?”

“We’re roommates now, right?” Asahi says, somehow smiling fondly like this is an ideal situation, and his old friend hasn’t just crashed back into his life with two armloads of baggage.

“Right,” Suga says, tugging the blanket up over his legs and feeling warmer than he should from just the thin woolen cover. He knew Asahi wouldn’t turn him away, but he expected to be a guest here, a temporary occupant.

“Welcome home,” Asahi says.

Suga’s throat is too thick to respond, but he smiles at Asahi and hopes his gratitude comes through on his face. Asahi ruffles his hair and says goodnight, and Suga curls up on the lumpy couch and listens to the muted voices and little bursts of hearty laughter from next door.

The scent of a home-cooked meal is still in the air, his bags are sitting in a bedroom that he won’t have to leave in a few days, that he can settle into and make his own, and Suga thinks this might be the best beginning he could hope for.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ETA - If you want an idea of how I'm picturing Suga's hair, I made a little post [here](http://ellessey-writes.tumblr.com/post/170201597430/a-rough-idea-of-sugas-hair-in-like-a-song-though)!
> 
> I don't think I could ever fully express how grateful I am for [Essie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esselle), and the immense amount of support she provided while I was writing this fic. Thank you for being the most wonderful beta-reader, problem solver, banner maker, and friend. Thank you also to Irides for so much encouragement and shared flailing over DaiSuga, babies, and k-pop. Writing this would have been so lonely, and sometimes impossible, without you two, so please accept all of my love in return <333 
> 
> And! Thank you for reading! Please always feel welcome to talk to me in the comments, or send me a message over on Tumblr ([ellessey-writes](http://ellessey-writes.tumblr.com/)) or Twitter ([karasuno123](https://twitter.com/karasuno123)). See you next weekend! (*^‿^*)


	2. Chapter 2

Tuesday mornings are always nice, because neither Daichi nor Kuroo have classes until 11:00. There's no alarm going off when the sky is still dark, no one banging around in their shared bathroom. Just a late start, and time for a slow breakfast.

Daichi gets up unnecessarily early this Tuesday, so he can be sure he gets a shower in before Asahi and his friend come over. By the time Kuroo slouches out of his room, still in boxers and an undershirt, Daichi is dressed and the apartment is somewhat tidy. Or, there is at least an absence of dirty laundry in the living room, which is definitely atypical for them.

“Dude…” Kuroo says, rubbing his eyes and looking around, before turning back to Daichi with an extremely obnoxious arched eyebrow.

“Just…don't,” Daichi says.

Kuroo shrugs and lets it go, just giving Daichi one last knowing smile before going into the bathroom.

Daichi stays where he is, standing in the kitchen, feeling ridiculous. When his phone buzzes he snatches it up gratefully, a welcome distraction from his thoughts.

 **Asahi** : you guys up?

 **Daichi** : yeah..come on over. bring syrup if you have it  
**Daichi** : because we don’t

 **Asahi** : need anything else?

Daichi pulls the fridge open and pushes some takeout boxes aside to find a half empty carton of eggs. He shakes the milk and it sounds like there’s enough left in it.

 **Daichi** : nah i think we’re good  
**Daichi** : if we’re not....probably one of us could make it all the way back to your place without delaying breakfast too much

 **Asahi** : probably

 **Daichi** : i mean if we hurried

 **Asahi** : speed walking would be the only option

 **Daichi** : start speed walking this way please i’m hungry

Asahi doesn’t text back, but Daichi can hear his voice through the wall, and a moment later there’s the sound of a door opening and closing, and then a soft knock at his apartment.

“You don’t have to knock, Asahi,” Daichi says, once he's pulled the door open.

Asahi shrugs, and then ducks his shoulders a little as he steps inside, Suga coming in behind him.

“Asahi isn’t the breaking and entering type,” Suga says once he’s inside too, nudging the door closed behind himself. “Not like me.”

“Suga-san…” Daichi says, worried for a moment that he may have actually offended Suga when he asked if Asahi knew he was in his apartment. But then he lets himself look at him, moving over the skinny, pale blue jeans and loose cable-knit sweater, up to his face where he’s met with those same smiling eyes, warm and playful. “Asahi isn’t built for stealth anyway,” he says, instead of the apology that was on the tip of his tongue. It earns him a satisfying twitch of Suga's lips.

“I feel weird not knocking,” Asahi says, ignoring the teasing. “And I _do_ want you to knock when you come to my place.”

“Too late,” Daichi says, because Kuroo already walks right in regularly. “You should probably just keep your door locked.”

“What?” Kuroo says, stepping out of the bathroom with wet hair and a towel draped over his shoulders. He’s shirtless and shameless, and Daichi wants to kill him. “No! No locks. How would I borrow things from you when you’re busy studying?”

“How…what?” Asahi asks. “When do you do that?”

Kuroo just smiles and Suga laughs, drawing Kuroo’s attention to him. Daichi’s attention was already there, quietly trying to gauge his reaction to his roommate. He’s going to wring Kuroo’s neck later for coming out here all long and lean and half naked, when the first impression Daichi made was so fumbling and not remotely sexy.

“You must be Suga-san,” Kuroo says, reaching out a hand.

“I am,” Suga says. “Thanks for having me over.”

“Of course!” Kuroo says, even though it was Daichi who invited him. (Daichi now wants to wring his own neck, for having such juvenile thoughts.) “Daichi said you grew up in Miyagi with Asahi?”

“Mhm,” Suga says, following Asahi as he moves into the living room, and joining him on the couch. Even though he's nearly Daichi's height, next to Asahi he looks almost tiny. Delicate features and a slender neck. A little ponytail at the nape that not all of his hair has made it into, leaving some to fall next to his cheeks in a way that is very distracting for Daichi. “We lived just down the street from each other for a few years.”

“How are you liking the big city then?” Kuroo asks with a cheeky grin.

“Dumbass,” Daichi says. “He doesn’t live there anymore. I’m sure he’s been to Tokyo before.”

“A few times,” Suga says with a gentle laugh.

“Suga travels a lot,” Asahi says, and Daichi is about to ask where he’s been, and what it is he does that keeps him moving around so much, but he watches Suga’s eyes flick to Asahi and there’s something there, something he’s trying to communicate. Asahi picks up on it, changing the subject suddenly before anyone else can speak. “Can I help with breakfast? I put the syrup on the counter.”

“Yes!” Kuroo says. “Grab the mix out of the pantry while I find a clean shirt?”

“Sure,” Asahi says, getting to his feet and going into the kitchen, leaving Daichi standing there in front of Suga.

“Would…you like to sit?” Suga asks after a long pause, raising his eyebrows. The beginning of a laugh is dancing at the corner of his lips.

“On my own couch?” Daichi asks. “If you're sure you don’t mind.”

“You _are_ supplying breakfast,” Suga says. “I suppose it’s the least I can do.”

“Well…we’re only offering expired pancakes,” Daichi says once he’s seated on the other end of the couch. Wishing he’d sat down just a little closer to Suga, and at the same instant feeling relieved that he did not. He can already smell the other boy from here. Just a catch of clean cotton, and something warm and sweet.

“I _love_ pancakes,” Suga says. “I saw a movie when I was little, where a kid had a giant pancake with a face on it? And little pancake ears? I was so jealous," he laughs. "But I think just the fact that they hold the potential for something like that makes them one of the best possible breakfasts.”

Daichi laughs too, and tries not to stare too hard at Suga’s face, the way his eyes got so bright suddenly, lit up with this random little memory. He’s so strange, and so cute, and Daichi never knew before now, how it feels to be so smitten. “I don’t think we have anything to make faces with,” he says. “But the latent ability to be a face should still be inside it, right?”

“Inside it?” Suga asks. “Right in the depths of its fluffy little core?”

Daichi feels himself blushing, but he keeps his eyes on Suga. “You’re mocking me,” he says, “but you’re the one who started this.”

Suga is smiling at him, but something shifts just then, with Daichi’s words. He hasn’t stopped smiling, but he leans back, just a little bit, and Daichi can feel it. That whatever just started has given Suga pause.

“You’re right,” he says. “If anything, you should be mocking me.”

“No,” Daichi says, before he can keep the word from slipping out. He doesn’t want to mock Suga, he just wants to keep making him smile _—_ warm and genuine and leaning closer to Daichi, the way he was a moment ago. “I think it’s nice.”

“Nice,” Suga repeats, smiling again, but still with that distance he managed to create with his infinitesimal shift backwards.

“Yeah,” Daichi says. He’s blushing again, or maybe he hasn’t stopped. “You know, they’ll make them that way at restaurants, if you ask for them.”

Suga shrugs. “I like homemade things,” he says, and before Daichi can contemplate the change of tone in his voice, the little sag of wistfulness, Kuroo is back, loud and distracting, and Suga’s eyes move away from Daichi. They both get up and go into the kitchen, where Asahi has already mixed the batter together and is trying to find something to cook on.

“Azumane, I’m supposed to be feeding you,” Kuroo says. “You’re being too helpful.”

“You’re out of eggs and milk now,” Asahi tells him. “You actually have no food, as far as I can see.”

Kuroo waves a hand dismissively. “We’ll shop. Eventually. Pizza tonight, then?” he asks, shooting a sly look at Daichi, who starts to grin and then presses a hand over his mouth.

“S-sure,” Asahi says. “You good with pizza, Suga?”

“I’m good with anything,” Suga says. “I need to…run some errands today though, so I may be late for dinner.”

“If you wait till tomorrow I can go with you, if you need help,” Asahi says, stepping back as Kuroo tries to squeeze in next to him, pointy elbows flying while he pours batter onto the pan he just retrieved (accompanied by spectacular crashing sounds as he dug through the cupboard next to the sink).

“No, that’s okay,” Suga says. “I’ll just set a few things up to be delivered.”

“Delivered?” Kuroo asks. “You moving in or something, Suga-san?”

“I…am, actually,” Suga says, tossing a warm smile at Asahi that has so much behind it, Daichi finds himself suddenly questioning the whole Asahi and Pizza Boy theory.

“Oh!” Kuroo says, turning away from the sizzling pancake blobs he’s just poured. “Are you two, like…”

Daichi wants to hug Kuroo. He's so inappropriate, as always, and he's asking everything Daichi wants to know the answers to.

“Dating?” Suga asks, and the suggestion is immediately followed up by a sputtering sound from Asahi, which comes out as “ _No”_ on the third try.

“No,” Suga repeats. “I just need a place to stay, and Asahi is the closest thing to home I have.”

A pink flush blooms in pale cheeks, and Suga looks down, as if that wasn’t something he meant to say out loud. Daichi watches Asahi squeeze his shoulder, and wonders what happened to the home Suga came from, and if there was anyone there who made pancakes for him, with faces and ears or otherwise. He wonders why Suga backed away when they were teasing each other, when he was sure that Suga was enjoying himself. He’d thought, hoped, maybe it was because Suga knew he’d only be here for a short time, but if he's _staying,_ moving into the apartment right next door…

“Hey, that's awesome!” Kuroo's saying. “Oh, but dude, that music yesterday? If we're gonna be neighbors, we may need to coordinate a schedule, so screamo-hour only happens when we're not home?”

Suga laughs and starts to jokingly lecture Kuroo on the merits of metalcore ( _“Not screamo, Kuroo-san, there are so many nuances”)._ He hasn’t looked over at Daichi once since they came into the kitchen, and Daichi mentally shakes himself for getting so wound up over the tiny amount of interaction he’s had with this guy in the past twenty-four hours. Just because he was taken with Suga the moment he saw him, that doesn’t mean Suga has to feel anything for him. Maybe he’s not even gay. He wishes Kuroo had asked that, too.

“So what about you two?” Suga asks, his eyes finally falling on Daichi when the four of them are seated on worn cushions around the low table. “Are you guys a thing?”

“No…no, no, no!” Kuroo says quickly, while Daichi chokes on a bite of pancake, coughing violently and embarrassingly until Asahi claps him hard on the back, and his airway seems to clear.

“Fuck,” he says, wiping his watering eyes. “Please don’t suggest things like that when I’m eating.”

“Excuse you,” Kuroo says, reaching over the table to flick Daichi’s arm. “You could do worse, Sawamura.”

“Could do better, too,” Daichi says, coughing once more, and garnering another concerned glance from Asahi, who rests his hand on Daichi’s back again.

“Alright?” he asks.

Daichi nods and takes a sip of water, wishing he could just swallow away the last few minutes, and find a way to get through them a second time without looking like such a spaz. He _is_ a spaz, God. When did this happen? How much worse is it going to get with Suga living next door?

Suga is already looking at him when Daichi raises his eyes, amusement dancing in his own. “Are you…not into guys, then?” he asks.

“No, I’m…definitely into guys,” Daichi says, because even if Suga is straight, he must know that Asahi is not, and he trusts that he’s safe being open with him. And if Suga  _isn't_ straight, Daichi really wants him to know that he isn't either. “I’m just not into Kuroos.”

“Thanks, bro,” Kuroo says. “It’s like you know just what to say to warm the cockles of my heart.”

“You know what I mean,” Daichi says. “We’re romantically incompatible.”

“This is accurate,” Kuroo agrees. “Sawamura is pretty much the opposite of my type.”

“What _is_ your type?” Suga asks.

“Tiny, blond, and impervious to what Kuroo thinks is charm,” Daichi interjects.

“Really, Daichi? Is this how you make up for your cruel words? By laying on more of them?”

Daichi laughs and settles back with his arms propped behind himself, as the attention turns to Kuroo and his crush. Suga plies Kuroo for details, but doesn’t say much about himself over the course of the meal. By the time they’re rinsing the dishes, Daichi still doesn’t know where Suga is moving here from, or what he studies, or _anything_ about him, really, except that he’s good at making Asahi look relaxed, and gently poking fun at Kuroo in a way that Daichi ardently admires. Also, he’s found that the way Suga eats pancakes is the cutest thing he’s ever seen, which is probably, almost certainly, a problem.

Soon Asahi and Suga are saying goodbye, and again Daichi wants to go back in time, right to that moment on the couch when he must have said the wrong thing, but he doesn’t know what it was.

“Thank you for breakfast, Daichi-san, Kuroo-san,” Suga says.

Daichi wants to say something clever, apologize for the lack of faces and little pancake ears, but his mouth is dry and thick again. He just nods his head and then watches him leave, with Asahi following behind him.

“Dai?” Kuroo asks. “Okay there?”

“Yeah,” Daichi says. He feels weird and unsettled, but nothing actually _happened,_ so he doesn’t know what to say. “I think…I think he maybe blew me off.”

“What? You made a move? When?”

“No, no, I just…he was flirting, I think, I’m pretty sure. When you were getting dressed. And then…he wasn’t.”

“Maybe he’s straight?” Kuroo suggests. “He didn’t say.”

“Maybe,” Daichi says. “Maybe he just thinks I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not an idiot. And even though you’re not my type, I’m not an idiot either…you’re not hideous, Daichi. You’re plenty of people’s type. Maybe just not his.”

Daichi shoves Kuroo, because he's terrible at accepting compliments, and he doesn’t know how to tell Kuroo how much he appreciates him putting on the Supportive Best Friend hat right now. “God, I just kept _staring_ at him, he must have noticed. And now he’s moving in right there? On the other side of our wall?”

“It _is_ an unexpected turn of events,” Kuroo says. “And dude, why so mysterious? Where’s this guy been the past however many years? Have you googled him?”

“No…” Daichi says. “Isn’t that creepy?”

“Do we care?” Kuroo asks.

Daichi considers this. He’s not sure that they do. But then he remembers Suga’s face, the way his expression was inexplicably almost pleading when Asahi mentioned him traveling, and he shakes his head.

“No…he’s obviously a private person. I don’t want to stalk him.”

“Cyber-stalking doesn’t count as stalking.”

“It has stalking right in the name.”

“Eh, semantics,” Kuroo says with a shrug. “We don’t have to stalk him if you don’t want to, but if you change your mind…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Daichi says. “Just hold off for now, okay?”

Kuroo agrees and he changes the subject soon after, rambling about the quiz they have that afternoon, and then disappearing into the bathroom to brush his teeth.

The door of Asahi’s apartment has already opened and closed a couple times, so Daichi assumes Asahi has left for campus, and Suga has gone wherever it is he needed to go.

Yesterday morning Daichi didn’t know he existed, and now his mind is wandering, his thoughts trailing in Suga’s path. Wondering where he is, and why he lies on the floor and listens to metalcore. And how, in that one moment when he called Asahi the closest thing to home, he looked so happy, and yet so small and sad at the same time.

* * *

 **Suga** : i suuuucked at being Suga from junior high

 **Asahi** : what do you mean? you seemed normal?

 **Suga** : ugh i was awkward. Daichi is very cute, Asahi...even if you think he’s scary  
**Suga** : i flirted with him and i shouldn’t have because he doesn’t know a thing about me  
**Suga** : and any day now i’m going to become completely undersirable  
**Suga** : fuck i don’t know what happened there...undesirable

 **Asahi** : you’re not, Suga. I told you you’re still going to be you

 **Suga** : me + baby  
**Suga** : and that’s okay, i just dont want to lead anyone on, but i wasn’t ready to slam them with my life story either  
**Suga** : so i was this weird old suga/new suga hybrid and it felt awful

 **Asahi** : you weren’t being weird  
**Asahi** : and Daichi was looking at you a lot...so I don’t think he was put off by hybrid-suga

 **Suga** : he was, right? God his eyes are So Nice

 **Asahi** : I don’t know if you want me to encourage that thinking, or tell you terrible things about Daichi if you don’t want to be interested in him

 **Suga** : are there terrible things about Daichi?

 **Asahi** : I mean...  
**Asahi** : no  
**Asahi** : he’s too like...tough, for me

 **Suga** : he’s not tough

 **Asahi** : we seem to see him differently  
**Asahi** : but he’s kind in his own way, and open, and when I met him he just...pulled me in like of course we would be friends, even though I was all nervous and assuming he would dislike me just because

 **Suga** : Asahi...you’re so likable  
**Suga** : lovable, actually  
**Suga** : i’m glad you ended up beside them though...they’re both very sweet  
**Suga** : i’m still not fully convinced they aren’t secretly dating

 **Asahi** : they aren’t  
**Asahi** : the walls are paper thin remember?  
**Asahi** : all they ever do is play video games and argue..it’s like living with my brothers again

 **Suga** : lol. Well...when daichi does bring someone home, just try to scrape up a few bad things about him for me, okay?

 **Asahi** : Suga if you like him I think you should at least talk to him  
**Asahi** : let him decide if he’s interested in ex-popstar single dad suga

 **Suga** : no, he won’t be  
**Suga** : and even if he were, it’s not a good idea.  
**Suga** : this is why i left the band...its going to take everything i have to do my best at this. This is a human LIFE thats going to be in my hands

 **Asahi** : okay  
**Asahi** : if you need to listen to the scary music today, Daichi and Kuroo don’t get home till close to 6 I think on Tuesdays

 **Suga** : ty asahi <33

 **Asahi** : you’re welcome <3

Suga tucks his phone into his jacket pocket, and looks up at the traffic crawling past on the busy street in front of him. He’s been into two stores that sell baby supplies and walked right back out, because he doesn’t know what he even needs.

Maru-chan is due on Thursday, and he knows that means the baby could come today, or it could come in two weeks, but whenever it arrives Suga needs to have _something_ for it. He doesn’t even know if it’s a girl or a boy. Maru didn’t want to know, she doesn’t want to know anything. Suga wishes he knew all there is to know.

He wanders into another shop and fingers the tiny clothing. Pink with smiling cupcakes, and blue with little footballs and soccer balls that make him laugh, because he’s a boy, and he’s never enjoyed a single team sport. He wonders if he can find something with musical notes, or dance shoes, and then he notices two girls watching him, whispering feverishly and inching closer, and he wonders if he’d be better off online shopping. They haven’t issued a statement about him leaving Hikaru yet, but he’s sure being spotted shopping for infant clothing right before it drops is not what his manager would want. Surely it will only be a matter of time before his personal life becomes public, but that needs to happen when he officially no longer belongs to Hikaru. When it’s his problem alone.  

He returns to Asahi's apartment with nothing. The second bedroom isn't even close to being able to house a bed or anything at all, and Suga sits down in the middle of it and cries. He's still there when Asahi comes home and kneels beside him amidst the boxes.

“I’m not ready,” Suga says.

“I’ll help you. I can get this room cleared out tonight, and tomorrow we’ll get everything you need.”

Suga presses his face into his raised knees and starts to cry again, because it's not the room or the shopping or the things he doesn't have. It's the boy next door that Suga is afraid to flirt with, and the bus driving away from the city right now with Tooru and the rest of the band on it, heading back to Kyoto to start reworking their routines without Suga in them.

He doesn't know what he's doing. He's only twenty and he's never been to college and he doesn't know what a father is, and he starts to cry so hard that his body shakes. Asahi wraps both arms around him, pinning him to his chest and murmuring to him. _You can do this, Suga. You can do this,_ over and over, and Suga is so grateful that not once does he say _you don't have to do this._ Because he doesn't want an out, he just doesn't know what to do with all his fear. Doesn't know how to cross over the void between who he knows himself as, and who he needs to be.

“I don't know what size diapers to get,” he says quietly, when his gasping breaths have settled into something almost steady, broken only by occasional hiccups. “What if it's too big for the newborn ones?”

“Get both,” Asahi says, kindly not pointing out that Suga could have come to that conclusion on his own. And that diaper sizes are the least of his problems. “Have you eaten anything since breakfast?”

Suga isn't sure. He's so used to moving along with a group, eating when and where the other boys eat. He thinks he may have forgotten to do it on his own today.

“I should probably eat,” he says.

“I’ll order dinner, and I can get some of this stuff out of here while we’re waiting for it, okay?”

Suga nods and manages a small smile for Asahi. He feels drained and heavy now, but less frantic inside. He doesn't know how, but he _will_ find a way to do this.

They go out to the living room together so Asahi can get his phone, and Suga spots a folded piece of paper that’s been pushed under the front door.

“What's that?”

Asahi picks it up, and Suga reads the note scrawled across it in neat, bold writing.

_For pizza. Lots of toppings please. Just all the toppings._

“Is this…a typical thing?” Suga asks, while Asahi takes out the money that was tucked inside the paper and sets it on the counter.

“Pretty typical,” Asahi says. “Any requests?”

“Something spicy,” Suga replies with a bigger smile, pressing his hands to his cheeks after, when he feels the way they tighten with dried tears. “I'm going to wash my face.”

Asahi nods, already lifting his phone to call the pizza place. Suga goes into the bathroom and closes the toilet lid so he can sit on top of it. He studies the small room, the bathtub that he supposes he’ll be kneeling beside soon, except surely you can't put a brand new baby in something so large. He suspects there are miniature alternatives in bright pinks and pale blues, like everything else he saw in the shops today.

He stays in the bathroom until there’s a knock at the front door, and then he finally stands up and splashes water over his face, patting it dry with one of Asahi's fluffy blue towels. He can hear Asahi’s voice, and someone talking to him who doesn't sound like Daichi or Kuroo-san.

Even once he leaves the bathroom he can't see who Asahi is talking to. Just his friend’s broad back, his hands at his sides, fingers curling and uncurling in the loose material of his sweats. Suga recognizes the movements, and the way Asahi keeps shifting his weight, never quite staying still. He's nervous, and Suga can only assume the person out in the hallway is making him this way.

“N-no,” Asahi is saying. “I didn't mean it looks bad!”

“I hope not, man, I'm pretty committed to it now!” the disembodied voice says. Suga moves closer, close enough to peek around Asahi's body and see who he's speaking to. That someone spots him immediately and he smiles, a bright flash of white teeth in a small, angular face. He has a hand in his hair, dark brown and spiked wildly on top, cropped so short it's almost shaved on the sides, and Suga assumes this is what they were discussing. “Hey!” he says. “Are you the reason for the extra spicy sausage? These guys are usually pretty predictable.”

“Ah,” Suga says, smiling at Asahi warmly now that he knows why he's nervous, and why he seems to be in charge of the pizza ordering. “Yes, that's for me. I caught a glimpse of the neighbor's fridge, and I sense that you deliver quite a bit of pizza here?”

“My most loyal customers,” the boy says with a smile. “Especially Azumane-san.”

Suga waits for Asahi to take this perfect opportunity to tell the delivery boy he can use his given name, but Asahi just laughs softly and shuffles his feet a little more. There is a lot that Suga needs from Asahi—his support and his kindness and his company—but clearly there are some things Asahi needs from Suga, too.

“I didn't even know Asahi liked pizza that much,” Suga says, smiling mischievously. “This seems to be a new development. It must be _very_ good pizza.”

“Suga…” Asahi says, but Suga ignores him and keeps his eyes on the delivery boy, who he's delighted to see is smiling even more brightly, and blushing a tiny bit too. “I…I like pizza.”

“Obviously,” Suga says, eyeing the two boxes in the boy’s hands, and then reaching to take them from him. “I’ll take these next door, while you say goodbye to…?”

“Oh, I'm supposed to wear a name tag but, uh...not sure what happened to it,” the boy says with a laugh as he pats at his tagless t-shirt. “It’s Nishinoya Yuu. Noya,” he adds, dark eyes turned to Asahi.

“Thanks, Nishinoya!” Suga says, sending an encouraging smile over his shoulder to Asahi, who is blushing profusely, and looks like he may be planning to very apologetically murder Suga in the dead of night.

Suga steps past Nishinoya, taps on Daichi and Kuroo’s door a few times, and then opens it and slips inside.

This plan made perfect sense when all he was thinking about was giving Asahi a little space with the source of his blushing and fidgeting. But now that he's here, and Daichi is looking up at him in surprise from his slouched position on the couch, he can see a few flaws in his impetuous decision.

He hasn’t mentally prepared himself for this yet, and Daichi…Daichi is honestly far too attractive. It simply isn't fair for him to have both that strong jaw _and_ such big, dark eyes, and that is only taking his face into account.

Suga has a million and one things he could be worrying about, and whether or not Daichi is happy to see him right now should not be one of them.

But Daichi smiles _—_ a little bewildered, and very, very pleased _—_ and Suga smiles, too.

“Hi,” he says softly, back pressed to the door.

“Hi,” Daichi says. “Why are we whispering?”

“I left Asahi talking to the pizza boy.”

“Oh. _Oh._ Are you sure that's a good idea? Asahi doesn't know how to flirt.”

“He doesn't, but I think if Nishinoya knows Asahi is trying, he might take over.”

“Nishinoya?” Daichi asks.

“I tried to help them cover a little ground,” Suga admits.

Daichi laughs as he gets to his feet and comes to take the pizzas from Suga. It's such a lovely sound, deep and rumbly, and Suga reminds himself once again that Daichi is not for him. That the other boy has no idea who it is he’s smiling at this way.

“Hey…” Daichi says, hands stilling on the cardboard boxes, but not pulling them from Suga’s grasp yet. He’s just looking at Suga, too closely, and finally Suga recalls all the tears in Asahi’s second bedroom, and how bloodshot his eyes must be. “Are you—”

“ _Suga.”_

Asahi has arrived, red faced and visibly perspiring, and with Daichi’s attention drawn away from him, Suga steps to the side and sets the boxes on the kitchen counter. He makes his face as soft and innocent as possible when he turns to his friend. He's very good at this; it's the look that's expected from him in photo shoots, with a few charming winks thrown in.

“Hmm?”

“You just _left,”_ Asahi accuses him. “After _telling_ him that I never used to like pizza so much.”

There's a small, muffled noise from the general area of the kitchen sink, where Daichi apparently went to get some water, and is now laughing into his hand.

“Isn't that true?” Suga asks Asahi, blinking slowly and deliberately.

“ _Yes,_ but now he's going to think…he's going to _know—”_

“That you're hot for him?” Suga asks, then continues on before Asahi has a chance to stammer out an answer. “Yes, that's the point. You do _want_ him to know that, right? Or would you prefer to remain in this sad, awkward stasis until Nishinoya gets a new job and you never see him again?”

Asahi groans and drops down on Daichi's couch. Daichi is beaming at Suga and it's making him feel light-headed, so he sits down with Asahi and strokes his hair.

“Should I not have said anything?” he asks.

“No…it _—_ I hated it, but it's the most we’ve talked in all the weeks he's been bringing pizza here, and it _—_ God, he’s so _cute,_ Suga.”

Suga is dying to ask just how many weeks it has been, but he loves Asahi and he won't torture him right now.

“That's good, then,” he says. “He’s very cute, and if you didn’t ask for his number, you should definitely do it next time.”

Asahi whimpers, and Suga leans down to kiss his head. This is the same man who was a stronghold in the middle of Suga’s storm less than an hour ago.

“Should we eat?” he asks.

Asahi nods, sitting back up with a sigh. “Are we missing Kuroo?”

“We are,” Daichi says, and Suga looks up to see that he’s now leaning against the counter. “He volunteered to help our Bio professor set some experiment up, because blondie’s hand was raised and he thought he was going to volunteer, too.”

“He wasn’t though?” Asahi asks.

“Nope. He was stretching.”

“Oh dear,” Suga says. “Poor Kuroo-san.”

“Well, we’ll save some pizza for him,” Daichi says cheerily, and Suga suspects a lot of teasing was heaped upon Kuroo after the premature volunteering took place.

They settle down around the table, just like this morning, except now Daichi is alone on one side, right across from Suga. Suga can feel his eyes, and he doesn’t know what to do with his own. He wonders if he should say something now, just tell Daichi that he messed up his life and he’s about to become a terrible neighbor. Let everything spill while there’s only one new person here to react to it.

He picks at his pizza while Asahi and Daichi talk about a tv show he’s never seen, and he tries to steel himself, to ready the words in his head that he should say out loud, but he can’t. He doesn’t want to. Because, if he’s honest with himself, Suga really likes the way Daichi looks at him. Open, and curious, and admiring. Not because Suga is in a J-pop group, not because he’s actually a curiosity, just because Daichi is interested.  

“Suga-san?”

“Hm?” Suga says, looking up and finding both Daichi’s and Asahi’s eyes on him.

“You can eat it,” Daichi says, nodding towards the slice of pizza in front of him. “It’s not actually sentient.”

Suga blinks, confused, and then looks at his plate, noticing now what he didn’t see while he was lost in thought. The two round salami slices, situated next to each other at the widest part of the upside down triangle, and the curve of tomato underneath them, smiling up at him.

“Did you…” he begins, feeling his own smile stretch across his face.

“No,” Daichi says. “I thought that’s why you took that piece.”

Suga hadn’t even noticed. It almost makes something in his chest hurt, knowing that Daichi did.

He wants to thank Daichi, and he wants to tell him to stop looking at him like that, like he’s someone who could slip easily into his life. Suga can’t fit there, he isn’t really the shape Daichi thinks he is.

“It’s kind of cute,” Asahi says.

“It is,” Suga agrees. His eyes flick up to Daichi’s when he says it, before he can stop himself, and Daichi’s are already on him. His cheeks are pink, and Suga’s palms are sweating.

When the door bangs open suddenly and Kuroo lopes inside, Suga lets out a shaky breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He smiles while Daichi and Asahi tease Kuroo, laughs at the stories Kuroo tells about his day, exaggerated and dramatic, and he keeps his eyes off of Daichi.

Tomorrow, he decides, he’ll tell him. Before whatever this is that’s building in the air between them can grow too big to dissipate quietly and unobtrusively.

Tonight, he feels Daichi’s gaze on him like a blanket, soft and light and warm. And when it’s time to leave, when Daichi walks them to the door and says goodnight, he tries to memorize exactly how the other boy looks. How handsome and sincere, and lit up with hope.

He’ll pull it up in his mind, this little image, when Daichi doesn’t look at him like this anymore, and he’ll know that it’s something he could have had, if he hadn’t chosen something else.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! And thank you so, so much for the comments on Chapter 1! I'll be back next weekend, and have no fear, friends...we all know how good Daichi is, and Suga is going to find out, too <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple quick things! If you find yourself wanting a clearer idea of how the boys' apartments are laid out, I've got a little floor-plan right [here](http://ellessey-writes.tumblr.com/post/170582113635/hey-ellie-i-was-wondering-and-if-you-dont). 
> 
> And then just another thank you to everyone who is reading and kudosing and commenting! Your support and excitement for this story are so encouraging, and endlessly appreciated <333

**Daichi** : i'm so confused

 **Kuroo** : im on the other side of your wall...just fyi  
**Kuroo** : you wanna actually talk?

 **Daichi** : no  
**Daichi** : i’m just...i’m sure there's something there  
**Daichi** : i think  
**Daichi** : but then I also think I might just be crazy

 **Kuroo** : it's only been two days, bud...maybe give it a little time?  
**Kuroo** : he's definitely pretty, but we know basically nothing about him  
**Kuroo** : maybe he's not even your type

 **Daichi** : he's funny and sweet and smart and he's fucking beautiful

 **Kuroo** : he is, yeah

 **Daichi** : ???

 **Kuroo** : i was just trying to make you feel better before. he’s totally your type. but again...maybe he's straight!

 **Daichi** : i might google him

 **Kuroo** : really?

 **Daichi** : yeah. I don't know.

 **Kuroo** : chances are you won't find anything anyway

 **Daichi** : yeah  
**Daichi** : i just wonder if there was an accident or something? like where's his family?  
**Daichi** : i'm pretty sure he was crying earlier

 **Kuroo** : i’m conifer  
**Kuroo** : ....coming over*  
**Kuroo** : you shouldn't stalk alone

 **Daichi** : conifer??

 **Kuroo** : i dunno man shut up

A few moments later Daichi's door opens, and Kuroo comes straight to his bed to sit next to him. Daichi’s laptop is already resting on his legs.

“So…” Kuroo says.

“Maybe we should just go to bed.”

“Oh my God, you said we were googling!”

“No…” Daichi says, shaking his head and folding the screen of the laptop down. “I changed my mind. I'm being obsessive.”

“Yes, you are. But since you keep dragging me into it, I’m getting obsessive too.”

“I'm sorry,” Daichi says. “It's just a big, stupid crush. I just need to chill.”

“I’d say you're right, because you are, but it'd be pretty hypocritical of me to act like I wouldn't be doing the same thing.”

“What, you?” Daichi says, feigning disbelief. “When have you ever lost your shit over a boy?”

“Right? A paragon of self control.”

“Total opposite of dumbassery in all matters of the heart.”

“I think I might need to give up on Kozume-kun,” Kuroo says, with a sudden shift from sounding self-deprecating to genuinely down. “We have like two weeks left, and I've gotten _nowhere.”_

“Is that his name?” Daichi asks, not really wanting to comment on the second half of Kuroo’s statement, because it's true. Kuroo nods, but doesn't say anything else, so Daichi keeps going. “He's…really quiet. Maybe he just doesn't like people, period.”

“I guess I’ll never know,” Kuroo sighs.

“There _are_ only two weeks left,” Daichi says. "Why not go for broke and just tell him you've been drooling over him all semester? What's the worst that could happen?”

“Other than the irreparable crumbling of my self-esteem?”

“Yeah, aside from that.”

“I guess nothing,” Kuroo says. “I'm _already_ embarrassing myself.”

“That's the spirit,” Daichi says. They're sitting too close together for him to slap Kuroo's shoulder encouragingly, so he just taps his friend’s foot with his own.

Kuroo laughs dryly, and they sit in silence for a while. There are some soft thuds coming from Asahi's apartment, and eventually Kuroo rolls his head against the wall to turn and face Daichi.

“Think they're boning in there?”

“ _Really,_ Kuroo?”

Kuroo laughs again, warm and loud and sounding like himself. “I’m kidding. Wonder what they're doing though.”

“Interpretive dance,” Daichi suggests.

“Sun worship.”

“It's eleven o’clock.”

“Moon worship,” Kuroo corrects himself. “Or jiu-jitsu!”

“Suga is just taking Asahi _out,”_ Daichi agrees. “Roundhouse kicking like nobody’s business.”

“Definitely,” Kuroo says. “Mystery solved.”

He goes back to his own room after that, and Daichi lies awake and listens to Asahi and Suga moving around, probably just making room for Suga’s things. Eventually the sounds become more infrequent, and then it's silent entirely for so long that Daichi is almost asleep when he hears it.

Music, again, but not like the day before. Just a solitary voice, sweet and melodic. He can't make out the words, and he doesn't need to.

Maybe he doesn't know most of Suga's story, but he's pretty sure he's hearing a little of it right now.

*

He wakes to his alarm blasting, and a crick in his neck from the awkward position he fell asleep in, turned to hear Suga until he couldn't stay awake anymore. The other apartment is quiet now, and Kuroo has beaten him to the bathroom and is already turning the shower on. Daichi is supposed to get it first on Wednesdays.

“Son of a bitch,” he says, giving the bathroom door a slap as he passes by it.

“I’ll be quick!” Kuroo shouts. “Forgot to turn my psychology paper in yesterday. I gotta beg Yamada-sensei to take it late.”

“You’re screwed. Yamada-sensei hates the world,” Daichi points out.

“I _know. Fuck.”_

Daichi shakes his head and goes into the kitchen, setting out a bowl for Kuroo and filling it with cereal when he pours his own. Wednesdays are not like Tuesdays. They start too early, and Daichi works in the university's fitness center as soon as he finishes classes, so it's a whole day spent on campus.

He wishes he could see Suga. He wishes he could think about something other than a soft voice, and warm eyes finding his and then darting away.

It seems like a joke, something planted by Kuroo, when Daichi finally gets home after a long day of trying to keep his thoughts off Suga, sits down in front of his laptop to get his homework out of the way, and the first thing he sees is Suga’s face.

“What…” he says out loud, in the empty apartment. His browser is open to his standard homepage, and the current news story, right there at the top, is titled “ _Hikaru loses its brightest_ _star: Sugawara Koushi’s sudden departure from the spotlight.”_

The headline sits below a photo of Suga, though not quite the Suga that Daichi knows. This one is wearing dark, smokey liner around his eyes, and a cluster of little silver stars wink at the corner of the left one. His hair is dyed platinum blond and styled differently, but underneath all that, it's the same face. The same sweet smile, though a little sweeter here than Daichi knows it in life, without that teasing pull at the edges.

He doesn't think this counts as stalking—not when it was right here in front of him, not when Suga is clearly not as private as Daichi thought he was—so he clicks on the link and reads the article. It's short and almost entirely worthless, just a brief statement from Hikaru’s manager, stating that Sugawara has asked to be released from the remainder of his contract for personal reasons.

Daichi goes back to his homepage and types Suga's name in, bringing up a flood of images and articles and websites. It's almost too much, more than Daichi could ever look through. He skims a few articles about Hikaru. He’s heard of them of course, heard their songs in commercials and in shops, and even seen billboards for them downtown. But he doesn't listen to J-pop by choice, and there seems to be a dozen people in every group, so he’s never known or cared about individual names and faces.

After he taps on the image tab for Hikaru, though, he sees that if he _had_ been looking, he would have known Suga's. There are actually only eight of them, and Suga is almost always in the forefront, in the center, the other boys clustered around him. He's listed as both a dancer and one of three lead vocalists in the band's bio, and the more links Daichi follows, the more sites and blogs he stumbles upon, the more he can't believe he had no idea who Suga is, when all the rest of the world seems to know and adore him.

He's _famous,_ and beloved, and he's living next door to Daichi, in a run-down apartment building on the edge of a university he doesn't attend. And no one, not a single news site or celebrity blog, seems to have a clue why.

So, at least Daichi isn't the only one in the dark in that regard.

When he gives up on finding an answer, he goes to YouTube and types the band’s name in again, clicking on the first music video on the list.

He recognizes the piano intro from the radio, and the clear, smooth voice accompanying it. Suga is alone in the shot right now, bathed in warm light. His hair is bubblegum pink this time, and he's dressed in a sleeveless shirt that shows off pale, toned arms, and baggy pants that just make him look adorable. Soon the synthesized drums pick up, more voices blend in, and Daichi loses Suga's among them—but he can still see him, his body in constant motion, fluid and strong and rhythmic.

The outfits keep changing and at one point the sleeveless top is gone, replaced by an unbuttoned dress shirt, and Daichi does feel like he's stalking Suga now. Even though this video has millions of views, and everyone else has already seen the smooth planes of Suga's chest. A quick glance at the comments below the video confirms that he is only one of many who have been caught up in the way Suga’s hips move when he dances. Sinuous and hypnotic as the music slows, and then sharp suddenly, when all the boys form a line and do these _rolls_ with their bodies that have Daichi blushing, his palm growing slick against the mouse cupped beneath it.

He stops the video then, before the song even reaches the end, because he doesn't want to see Suga this way without the other boy knowing, without him wanting Daichi to see.

Maybe millions of people have watched these videos, have known this version of Suga, but this isn't who Daichi knows. He knows the boy in comfortable sweaters, with soft silver hair and a little mole just below his left eye, that isn’t detracted from by makeup and stick-on gems.

He likes this other Suga, too, the pop idol with the big, bright smile. He's beautiful, talented and magnetic, and Daichi wants to know about him. How he found himself in that world, and where it took him, and how it left him here. But he wants Suga to tell him.

He closes his laptop and goes to take a shower. There's dried sweat on his skin from his workout earlier, and glowing images of Suga in his head, smiling and shining and dancing, and he's not going to get any homework done right now.

It takes a long time for the cold water to do its job. Daichi stays under the spray even after, just in case.

“Oi,” a voice calls from outside the bathroom. Then the door opens and the voice gets louder. “Sawamura...you jerking it in here? I gotta piss.”

This is not the first time Kuroo has just walked in when he got tired of waiting for the bathroom, and the shower curtain is opaque anyway, but Daichi grabs his friend’s stupid mesh sponge, and pulls the curtain back enough to throw it at him hard, on principle.

“ _No,”_ he says. “But what if I was?”

“Nothing I haven't heard before,” Kuroo says with a laugh, tossing the sponge back over the curtain rod like a basketball, and then lifting the toilet seat and unzipping his jeans.

Daichi yanks the curtain all the way closed and leans into the wall, letting his forehead thunk against the tile.

“Suga is a popstar,” he says. “He's like…legitimately famous. We’re probably the only two people who didn't know.”

Kuroo is very quiet. Daichi waits for him to finish up, and then flush the toilet.

“You're shitting me.”

“He's in Hikaru,” Daichi says. “Or, he was…he just quit. It's all over the Internet.”

There's a rapid tapping sound from the other side of the curtain, and Daichi knows Kuroo is doing that thing where he's so worked up about something he can't get any words out, and he just slaps his hand on something repeatedly until he works past it.

Daichi turns off the water, then opens the curtain back up to see Kuroo whacking the counter and staring at him with wide eyes.

“Kuroo…”

The whacking stops. “This. Is so. Cool.”

“Do not be weird. We're not even supposed to know.”

“Hikaru!” Kuroo shouts. “I don't know all their names, but I know fucking Hikaru!”

“You don't even _like_ pop,” Daichi says, and Kuroo's eyes widen a little more. “You…do?”

Kuroo's smile is getting so big it's almost freaking Daichi out. He's nodding aggressively now.

“Wash your hands,” Daichi tells him, using Kuroo's subsequent distraction to grab a towel and dry off a little. “How did I not know you like pop?” he asks, securing the towel around his hips.

“There's plenty you don't know about me, Sawamura.”

“There's almost nothing I don't know about you.”

Kuroo shrugs and shakes his hands off. “So you think. But now we know Suga’s story!”

“Sort of…doesn't say why he left.”

Kuroo looks pensive for a moment, then suddenly and unexpectedly unhappy. “You googled without me.”

“Oh my God, I didn't. It was just…there. Main attraction story.”

“Oh. Alright. Wait, so that’s why you were in here wanking?”

“I _wasn't!”_ Daichi sputters. “I—it was…wank prevention.”

“Ah, I see.”

Daichi should probably be concerned that Kuroo sees so easily, but he's given up on trying to keep healthy boundaries between them. They are what they are.

“You _like_ pop idol Suga,” Kuroo says, waggling his eyebrows.

“I like _Suga,”_ Daichi says.

“Well, you and the rest of Japan, apparently.”

Daichi gives Kuroo a withering look and pushes past him to leave the bathroom.

“He's _here_ though, man,” Kuroo calls after him. “He’s right here. Not out there.”

“Yeah,” Daichi says. He doesn't know what that means, doesn't know _why_ Suga is here, and he hopes that it isn't anything bad. That his "personal reasons" were just a desire to do something different.

Whatever the reason though, he _is_ here. And tomorrow when they have breakfast with Asahi (because Thursday mornings are good mornings, like Tuesdays) Suga will be there, too. Not on a stage or a set, but on Daichi’s and Kuroo's cracked leather couch. And he doesn't know why that is, but it feels really nice to know that, unlike the rest of Japan, he’ll probably have the chance to find out.

* * *

“I think…we have it all?” Asahi says, dropping heavily next to Suga in the backseat of a cab.

When Asahi got out of class early that afternoon, Suga had donned a baggy sweatshirt (borrowed from Asahi's closet) and pulled a hat low over his eyes, and they'd set out together to accomplish what Suga had not managed to do the day before. After a morning spent making lists, he knew what he needed, and they crossed off items one by one until they had too many bags to even try to deal with on the train.

“God…I really hope so,” Suga says, pulling his phone out to check the list once more. A futon and dresser will be delivered tomorrow, which is really all they have room for in terms of furniture, and the back of the cab is currently loaded with diapers, bottles, formula, and all the accompanying paraphernalia that the lists online tell Suga he will need.

He didn't buy a lot of clothing, but he found some soft, neutral things to start with, and he’d felt genuinely excited for the first time, instead of vaguely terrified, when he'd picked them out. Holding up little sleepers and imagining a human being so small it could fit inside them. A tiny human that will belong to him.

“Do you feel better?” Asahi asks.

Suga turns to him and reaches over to hold his hand.

“I do,” he says, even though it’s much more a result of his friend being beside him, than the purchases he helped him make. “Thank you for going with me.”

“Of course,” Asahi says. “We can reorganize some of the cupboards in the kitchen, so everything you need is easy to get to.”

Suga is about to tell him that's not necessary, but his phone pings and he looks down to see a message from Hikaru’s manager.

“Oh,” Suga says after he reads it. “The media knows now, that I've left Hikaru. Otake gave the official statement this afternoon.”

His free hand is still in Asahi's, and his friend squeezes it gently.

“That's okay, right?”

“Yeah…yeah,” Suga says. It is okay, it's just…so real. He's really doing this, and everyone knows it now, even if they don't know why, and there's no going back. He can only imagine what all of his social media outlets look like right now, if the news has been out since this afternoon. He really doesn't know if he has it in him to deal with it.

He pulls up Maru’s number instead and sends her a quick message.

 **Suga** : Hi Maru-chan...how are you feeling?

 **Maru** : enormous  
**Maru** : you're all over the news today Sugawara-san

 **Suga** : it'll die down soon enough

 **Maru** : they won't know, right? About me?

 **Suga** : they won't know, I promise  
**Suga** : do you need anything?

 **Maru** : just to no longer be an incubator with swollen feet  
**Maru** : cross your fingers it comes soon please? Like maybe tomorrow?

 **Suga** : fingers crossed  
**Suga** : call me as soon as you need me...I'll be there

 **Maru** : i know you will....thank you Sugawara-san

Suga sends back a smiling kaomoji, and then slips his phone back in his pocket without checking his email or Twitter or anything else.

Today he's the boy who dropped out of one of Japan's leading pop acts, but tomorrow, he might be a father.

“Holy shit,” he says.

Asahi holds his hand a little tighter for the rest of the ride home.

It's not until they've arrived at their building and are making their way upstairs, with bags hanging off their arms and gripped in their hands, that Suga remembers his resolution from the night before.

Daichi is standing at the mailboxes when they get to their level. His hair is wet, shiny and dark, and there are little damp spots on the shoulders of his white t-shirt. He turns when he hears them enter the small lobby, and Suga wishes he could just fling all the bags back down the stairs, because this is not how he wants Daichi to find out.

The other boy doesn't seem to notice what’s in the bags though, or even the big rectangular changing pad tucked under Asahi's arm. He looks at Suga, and he doesn’t smile. He’s uncertain and nervous, and Suga knows one of his secrets must already be out.

“Hi,” he says, because he’s not sure what else to do.

“Hey,” Daichi says. His eyes stay on Suga when he greets Asahi next.

Asahi says hello and shifts beside Suga, adjusting the bags in his hands. “I’m, uh…going to put these away.”

Suga nods and stays where he is.

“I…saw you, in the news,” Daichi says, after Asahi has turned the corner towards their apartments. His deep voice is soft and hesitant, and this is one of the reasons Suga was in no hurry for Daichi to know what he does, or _used_ to do. He doesn’t want anyone to be uncomfortable around him, just because in one subsect of the entertainment industry he matters.

“Are you disappointed?” Suga asks, keeping his voice light. “That I’m not secretly in a metalcore band?”

“Your voice is too nice for that,” Daichi says, which is not what Suga was expecting.

“I can be growly,” he says. His limbs are starting to feel jittery. He so badly wants Daichi to play along with him, to not be afraid of him.

“I…would like to hear that,” Daichi says, and then his cheeks go red.

“Maybe sometime,” Suga tells him, adjusting his grip on the bags that are growing heavy in his hands. He can’t believe Daichi still hasn’t noticed them. “Are you…we can still be friendly neighbors, right? I didn’t mean to lie to you guys, I just wasn’t ready to—”

“Of course,” Daichi says, taking a step closer to Suga. “I’m not…did you think we’d be upset? You don’t have to tell us anything, Suga-san. I just…are you okay, though? It didn’t say why you left your group, and I…”

Suga feels himself become alarmingly warm. If he didn’t know it was physically impossible, he would think his heart was slowly melting down to a little puddle at the bottom of his chest cavity.

Daichi is worried about him. He doesn’t care that Suga didn’t say anything about what he does, doesn’t care about what Suga does, period. He’s not starstruck, he’s just concerned for Suga’s wellbeing. After three days of knowing him. Because this is the same boy who went into Asahi’s apartment to make sure a music blasting intruder wasn’t commandeering his stereo.   

“Daichi…” Suga says, and it’s already in the air between them, soft and personal with the ‘san’ left off, before he considers the way it must sound. That it probably sounds just the way he means it. Daichi pinches his bottom lip between his teeth, and Suga thinks about how he’d feel if Daichi said _Koushi_ in a gentle voice, in a quiet space like this. “I’m okay,” he says. “I’m…” His arms are starting to tremble, and Daichi’s eyes finally leave his face to fall on the absurd number of bags he’s holding.

“Oh my God…I’m sorry,” he says, stepping right up to Suga and reaching to help him. “I didn’t even notice, let me—”

“It’s okay,” Suga interrupts, taking a step back and losing his grip on a bag that was dangling from a fingertip. It tips over as it drops, the contents spilling out on the floor. Baby wipes, and diaper cream, and a cutely shaped bottle of shampoo with a little, round teddy bear on the front.

Daichi is already on his knees, scooping everything back into the bag. His motions slow only when he gets to the diaper cream, and then he stops moving with the box still in his hand, looking up at Suga in confusion.

“I didn’t tell you about Hikaru because I didn’t want to talk about why I left,” Suga says, lowering his handfuls of bags to the floor. The lobby is quiet and empty, but this isn’t where he would have chosen to have this conversation.

Daichi is still on the floor. He carefully cleans up the rest of Suga’s spilled things, and gets back to his feet. His eyes are so big and dark, and Suga doesn’t want to make him wait any longer to know he doesn’t need to worry about him.

“I’m really fine,” he says. “I…I was irresponsible, with a girl, and I…”

Daichi looks down at the rest of the bags. All the diapers and tiny socks and soft blankets. “You…have a kid?”

“Almost?” Suga says. “I mean, I do…I will soon. The baby is due tomorrow, actually.”

Daichi opens his mouth, looking as if he intends to say _oh,_ but he doesn’t quite manage to add sound to the motion. Suga doesn’t fill in the silence because he’s not sure how much Daichi wants to hear. He just watches him, waiting for this revelation to settle in and show itself in the other boy’s eyes.

“Are…are you and…and the girl—”

“No,” Suga says. “She doesn’t want to be involved after it’s born. We’re not…I know her, from school, but we were only ever friendly. We’ve never been involved with each other, it was just…the once.”

“Oh,” Daichi says. “So you’re…wow. So you’re going to raise it alone?”

“Well…I’m not all alone,” Suga says. His voice is wavering a little, because he still feels like he is sometimes, and because he has no idea what Daichi is thinking right now. “I came here so I’d have Asahi, and—”

“And us,” Daichi says, and Suga blinks. Daichi still looks stunned, but he squares his shoulders and presses on, despite the flush in his cheeks. “Me and Kuroo. We’ll probably be useless for like…all things baby related, or at least I will, but we’ll…we’ll be here. For you.”

Suga does not want to cry right now. He bites the inside of his cheek and stuffs his hands in the front pocket of Asahi’s hoodie. “Thank you,” he says. His voice is very small, but it’s the best he can do with the tightness in his throat.

“Here…” Daichi says, stooping to pick up as many of the bags as he can, just leaving a few for Suga. They walk together to Suga and Asahi’s apartment, and Suga gets the door open, leading the way to the second bedroom—his bedroom, soon—and setting the bags on the newly cleared floor. The bench and weights have been relocated to Asahi’s room, and most of the boxes have found new homes around the apartment, with just a neat row of them remaining in a line under Suga’s window.

“Thank you,” Suga says again, the words coming out reassuringly steady this time. “You really…please don’t feel obligated to do anything for me.”

“I don’t feel obligated,” Daichi says. He’s standing there with a package of little, hooded baby towels in his hands, patterned with pink-cheeked dolphins and chubby goldfish, and Suga keeps waiting for him to back away. It doesn’t make any sense for him to be here, to still be looking at Suga the way he did the first time they saw each other, when Suga was just a boy without any baggage in Daichi’s eyes.

He doesn’t know what to say, or really what to make of Daichi at all, so he just reaches for the towels. “I can take those,” he says.

His hands brush Daichi’s as he takes the package, skimming over warm, sturdy fingers that he wants to touch longer, to linger over and hold. He steps back quickly instead.

“You look different, online,” Daichi says.

“Ah, well…the magic of makeup and perfect lighting,” Suga says with a little wave of his hand.

“No, I—I didn’t mean…you look great, both ways,” Daichi says, color pooling in his cheeks once again. Suga thinks this may eventually be what leads to his death. The way Daichi is so inclined to be embarrassed, but keeps his eyes locked on Suga every time and keeps going forward. “But in person you’re…you’re more.”

This is exactly the opposite of everything Suga has ever heard from people who see him in his down-time. He’s smaller than he seems, less colorful, less perfect. Always less, but never more.

“Some things don’t fit the image of Hikaru’s sweetheart,” he says wryly.

“Like metalcore,” Daichi says, and a laugh bubbles out of Suga so unexpectedly, he almost lifts his fingers to his mouth to catch it.

“And bisexuality,” he adds before he can stop himself. It’s another thing the media doesn’t know about him, but he wants Daichi to know, even though it’s selfish of him. It doesn’t matter that he likes boys, it doesn’t even matter that he likes _this_ boy, because Suga is not in a place to do anything about it.

“I was wondering,” Daichi says, his eyes swimming with questions. Suga knows he must be wondering so much more, but there's a soft cough from the open door of the bedroom, and they both turn to see Asahi standing there, looking apologetic.

“Sorry, I—”

“I heard you're gonna be an uncle,” Daichi says.

Asahi looks at Suga quickly, eyes scanning over him as if he's making sure the conversation that just took place hasn't harmed him in any way. When Suga smiles—both at Asahi’s concern, and Daichi's words—Asahi smiles too. So endearingly sweet and proud, it makes Suga want to pummel him for being such a good friend.

“I guess I am,” Asahi says. “But I'm warning you now, Suga, I’ll be the uncle who gives the kid everything it wants and never disciplines it. I'll spoil it rotten.”

Suga and Daichi both laugh, and Suga is sure this is entirely accurate, but he doesn't mind at all.

“You'll be a perfect uncle,” he says.

“Just don't accidentally sit on it,” Daichi says.

Asahi's eyes go round in horror. “Oh my _God,”_ he cries.

“Daichi!” Suga scolds, reaching out to smack Daichi's shoulder. “You would never sit on it, Asahi.”

“I would _kill_ it,” Asahi says, looking as if he has actually done this.

“You are _not_ going to sit on it,” Suga says, and then adds “ _Daichi,”_ again, because Daichi is roaring with laughter now, and as much as Suga wants to soothe Asahi's fears, he can't listen to Daichi's belly laugh for more than a few seconds without starting to laugh himself. “You're terrible,” he says, half-heartedly shoving him again.

“Just…just dress it—” Daichi begins, then he clutches his stomach and gasps a little before he can go on. “…in neon yellow at all times, so…so—” He's gone again, and even Asahi is chuckling along now.

Suga is almost hyperventilating over the ridiculous image Daichi has conjured up between wheezing breaths, of a safety-vest clad infant with a “please don’t squish me” sign taped to its nose, when he feels someone beside him, and looks up to see they’ve been joined by Kuroo. He’s observing them all curiously with raised eyebrows.

“Someone forgot to invite me to the party,” he says, and then Suga watches him take in all the items they’ve filled the room with and blink slowly in confusion. “Or…the baby shower? Which one of you is knocked up?”

Everyone has stopped laughing, and Daichi straightens, taking a step towards Kuroo.

“Kuroo—” he begins.

“I…knocked someone up,” Suga says, and once again the room is uncomfortably silent. It feels especially pronounced after the laughter that filled it a minute ago.

“ _Oh,”_ Kuroo says. “You…seriously? There's gonna be a baby here?”

Suga nods, and then watches Kuroo's sleepy, golden eyes get rounder and rounder. He slaps the doorframe suddenly, and then does it again, tapping it in rapid succession. Suga would be concerned both over the reception of his news, and Kuroo’s health, except that Kuroo looks absolutely delighted, like he simply can’t contain himself.

“Kuroo likes babies,” Daichi translates.

“Oh,” Suga says. “Well that's…good.”

“Yes!” Kuroo says, giving the door one last resounding smack. “This is _such_ a good day. When will it be here? Can I hold it? Can I—”

“Calm down,” Daichi says, putting a hand on Kuroo’s shoulder. “Let Suga breathe.”

“This is a big deal!” Kuroo says, and Suga finds himself wanting to hug him, because he’s not saying it like it’s a bad thing. Not the kind of big deal Otake and the boys thought it was. The big, awful, life-derailing kind. Instead, he’s saying it like it’s cause for celebration.

“You guys…” Suga begins, wanting to say something about how bizarre and wonderful this whole situation is. How he came here for the support of his friend, and was immediately handed the support of Asahi’s friends too, and he's not even sure what to do with this abundance of positivity.

“We can leave you alone,” Daichi says.

“No, I…I’m glad you’re here,” Suga says. There are so many more heartfelt sentiments on the tip of his tongue, but Daichi is smiling at him already, still with that light in his eyes, no hint of disappointment in the person he knows Suga to be now. So Suga just smiles too, and tells Kuroo that yes, he can start opening all of the things in the shopping bags.

They all work together, setting aside clothing to be washed, cleaning and organizing bottles, finding homes for everything they can.

Daichi helpfully points out that one of the little pajama sets is almost the exact same color as Asahi's couch, and Asahi rolls it up in a ball and shoves it underneath the offending piece of furniture. “The baby is _not_ allowed to camouflage, Suga. I can't handle that.”

“Of course not,” Suga says.

Kuroo demands to know what he missed, and soon he and Daichi are both tormenting Asahi, and Suga laughs and doesn't try to stop them, because Asahi is laughing, too. Suga is so happy to see how comfortable his friend is with these weirdly perfect neighbors of his. (Or perfectly weird, but Suga is grateful for them either way.)

By the time they go back to their own apartment, Daichi catching his eye on the way out and smiling almost shyly (such a nice kind of shy—not uncomfortable, just very, very sweet), Suga is exhausted by all the joy and uncertainty that’s warring inside of him. He wishes the baby would just come, so he could stop feeling so stuck in between, and find out what it will feel like to be the man he’s going to be for the rest of his life.

He opens Twitter just long enough to post one brief tweet, saying he’s sorry, he loves Hikaru and its supporters, and he’ll always cherish them. He doesn’t have the energy to read anything he’s been tagged in, or any of the messages that are flooding every inbox he has. He doesn’t listen to his voicemail, but he texts a couple of the members, so they’ll know he’s okay. First Hajime, because he won't press Suga to talk, and as Hikaru's leader he’ll pass Suga's message on to the other boys; and then Tooru, because Suga has always been the closest to him.

 **Tooru** : you are currently significantly more famous than me kou-chan (￣ヘ￣)  
**Tooru** : and your face is everywhere...it’s not making missing you easier  
**Tooru** : i would yell at you but i’d probably have to get in line

 **Suga** : probably...but i’m ignoring everyone except for you, so yell if you must

 **Tooru** : hmm maybe another time  
**Tooru** : you doing alright?

 **Suga** : *wobbles*

 **Tooru** : Kou-chan (｡T ω T｡)

 **Suga** : no i’m really okay  
**Suga** : I’m just a little overwhelmed...lots of changes. i’m good though

 **Tooru** : (￢_￢)  
**Tooru** : i will storm beard-kun's apartment and force my love upon you if you're lying

 **Suga** : lol...I'm not. and you should be sleeping tooru! you'll have an early morning

 **Tooru** : sigh...yes. iwa-chan has reminded me of this a few times

 **Suga** : :) listen to him dummy...we’ll catch up soon <3

 **Tooru** : alright...stay off the internet okay? Lots of people are just surprised/sad...but of course there are also the giant angry shits

 **Suga** : staying off...i promise. Go sleep!

 **Tooru** : <33 Zzz...

Suga sets his phone down and marvels at how he can be so happy here already—knowing that Asahi is right nearby, and Daichi and Kuroo are next door—but also miss Tooru so very much at the same time.

He doesn’t really want to try to sort out thoughts or feelings anymore tonight. He wants to listen to music. As loud as he possibly can, with his back to the floor so he can feel every beat better than his own heart.

 **Suga** : do you mind just a little bit of music?

 **Asahi** : the awful music?

 **Suga** : 8 )

 **Asahi** : it’s so late Suga :/

 **Suga** : :c

 **Asahi** : don't do that  
**Asahi** : just a few songs okay? I don't want to bother anyone

 **Suga** : just a few! :D  
**Suga** : tell daichi and kuroo i’m sorry?

 **Asahi** : they won't care. Kuroo thinks you're the best thing ever, and I'm pretty sure Daichi is in love with you

 **Suga** : Asahi! he is not. he just found out I'm a slutty popstar with a baby

 **Asahi** : really Suga? is that how Daichi was looking at you?  
**Asahi:** or just how you're looking at yourself

 **Suga** : i don't know  
**Suga** : no he wasn't looking at me like that  
**Suga:** how is he so Good?

 **Asahi** : i don't know...it's not a bad thing though  
**Asahi** : and please don't call yourself slutty, Suga...you’re good too  
**Asahi** : Good*

 **Suga** : you’re blinded by the bonds of friendship, but thank you  
**Suga** : i’m going to self medicate with some Crystal Lake now

 **Asahi** : is that the band that’s really angry, or the one that’s really angry?

 **Suga** : i love you Asahiii

 **Asahi** : love you too

Suga keeps it to three songs, listening to them all while sprawled out on the living room floor. He drops onto the couch after he turns the stereo off, feeling heavy with calm, and ready to leave his worries and his hopes for the next morning.

He thinks of Daichi for just a moment before he drops off—listening to the music from his own apartment, listening to it along with Suga—and there's something so nice about the way that makes him feel.

* * *

Daichi stays awake for a long, long time. First it's because of the music, and the image it draws up of a fair-haired boy stretched out on his back, stomach bare and eyes closed. But even after the music stops, his head is nothing but Suga. Suga in a sweatshirt so huge it comes down to mid-thigh, hands curled up in the cuffs, and slim legs that Daichi knows are strong, because he's seen how Suga can move with them.

He sees Suga looking at him with worry in his big, brown eyes, as if Daichi would have any right to be angry that he didn’t divulge his life story after a few days’ acquaintance. Looking even smaller in his oversized sweater when he told Daichi about the baby, and Daichi wished he could process it all faster so he could tell Suga right away that it's okay. He could see it in Suga’s face, the fear that Daichi would think badly of him. Could see the resignation, like he was just waiting for Daichi to turn away, when all Daichi has wanted to do since they met is see more of him.

And it _is_ okay, this doesn't change that. It's a _lot,_ it’s still almost more than Daichi can wrap his head around, the magnitude of it, but Suga is doing exactly what Daichi hopes he would do in the same situation. He came up against a wall and he’s not backing down, not looking for an easier path. He's reaching up, getting the best grip he can, and pressing forward, and Daichi doesn't think there's anything more attractive than that.

He tries and tries to sleep, but long after Kuroo has started to snore on the other side of his wall, he still sees Suga in his head, laughing the way he did tonight, so hard his cheeks went bright and pink. And he remembers the way Suga reached out and touched him, so casually. Slender fingers pressed to his shoulder. He hears his voice, the warmth of it, the way it held his name so carefully in the empty lobby. The way it lowered when Suga said _bisexuality_ with his eyes on Daichi's.

There are still so many questions, so much he doesn't know about who Suga is, or what he wants. But he knows the way Suga looked at him, when he told him, with no prompting, that he isn't only interested in girls. He saw the desire there, and he saw the fear still there, too, and Daichi doesn't know what to do about that second part other than show Suga that there's nothing to be afraid of.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ETA - imaginary_dragonling asked what the decision process was for making Hajime the leader of Hikaru, and I'm just going to answer that here for anyone else who's curious. If you're not familiar with kpop groups (I literally don't even know if this is the same for jpop, but I like the concept so I'm using it), the groups have a member designated as the leader, which just means they're ideally working to keep harmony in the group, look out for the younger members, and communicate any concerns the members have, as well as potentially being responsible for acceptance speeches and things like that. 
> 
> I chose Hajime because he's one of the oldest members of the group (not actually a requirement, but it makes sense that he would have more maturity and experience), he's level-headed and likable, and I just see him being very good at dealing with conflict and keeping everyone in line, as well as being a great listening ear if anyone needed one. This isn't to say the other boys in the group wouldn't help out with these things as well (you'll find out that Akaashi is one of the other members, and I feel like he'd be Hajime's partner in a lot of this), but Hajime is kind of their established go-to.


	4. Chapter 4

Suga wakes to the warmth of Asahi's big palm moving gently over his forehead, brushing back his hair.

“Daichi and Kuroo are coming over for breakfast. You can keep sleeping if you want, but…just so you know.”

Suga moans and pulls Asahi’s hand over his closed eyes, pressing it against them. “Early,” he says.

“Mhm,” Asahi agrees.

“This breakfast thing is like…biweekly?”

“Maybe tri-weekly?” Asahi says apologetically. “Tuesdays and Thursdays are pretty regular, though. Do you need some space? You can rest in my room, if—”

“No,” Suga says, shaking his head and letting Asahi pull his hand back. “I’m just…mornings…”

“I know,” Asahi says. “I remember stopping by your house on the way to school. You were always miserable and nowhere close to ready.”

“I don't think small children are known for sleeping in, are they?” Suga says.

“I think they're…known for the opposite of that.”

“Fuck,” Suga says, but he forces himself to sit up. “So what's breakfast? Do you need help?”

“No, I have some rice and natto ready. Eggs would be nice, but we’re out, so unless the guys have picked some up…”

“Their fridge was very sad,” Suga says. “I think there's a good chance they still have absolutely nothing.”

“Probably,” Asahi agrees.

He goes into the kitchen and gets his phone from the counter, presumably to text Daichi or Kuroo, and Suga stretches and gets up to fold his blanket, setting it at the end of the couch.  

“Oh,” Asahi says. A little, happy sound. “Daichi went to the store!”

Suga smiles and is about to go into the bathroom to clean up, when the front door rattles and swings open suddenly, and Kuroo bursts inside with a carton of eggs in one hand.

“Good morning, neighbors!”

“Morning, Kuroo,” Asahi greets him. “You, uh…forgot to—”

“You don't lock it, he's gonna open it,” Daichi says, coming in behind Kuroo. “Kuroo can't break habits.”

“Thanks, pal. Always with the vote of confidence.”

Suga laughs, and Daichi’s eyes find him, crinkling up in a warm smile despite the fact that Suga knows perfectly well he looks horrendous right now. The elastic has fallen out of his hair, leaving it hanging in tangles in his face; there’s a very good chance there’s drool dried across his chin; and he’s still wearing Asahi’s sweatshirt along with…nothing. He took his pants off before he went to sleep, and while his boxer briefs are still on, they don’t come down as far as the shirt. Just as Suga is realizing this, Daichi’s gaze wanders down and takes it in as well.

“Suga-san…” he says.

“I _am_ wearing underwear,” Suga tells him.

Daichi swallows as his cheeks go pink (pinker), and Asahi and Kuroo both turn to Suga. Kuroo with an expression that’s a mixture of surprise and delight, and Asahi slightly scandalized.

“Wha—” Asahi begins.

“ _I’m_ not,” Kuroo says. “A laundry effort is becoming pretty dire at this point, Dai.”

“Oh my God,” Daichi says, turning away from Suga with what seems like a fair amount of effort. “Is that why you’re wearing my shirt?”

Suga holds his hand over his mouth. If Daichi’s blushing doesn’t kill him, it will be the platonic love affair he has going on with Kuroo.

“Yes, Sawamura. And it’s too short. Like, even shorter than I would expect, actually. How do you even wear this?”

“I _don’t,”_ Daichi says. “I’m down to the stuff I never wear now, too. We need to do laundry.”

“It’s right down the hall, you guys,” Asahi tells them, in a tone that suggests they’ve discussed this quite a few times already. “You don’t even have to go to another floor.”

“So this is what I’m bringing my child into,” Suga muses. He hopes it isn’t too soon, to be joking about this when they just learned about it, or to be inserting himself into their joking at all, but Daichi and Kuroo just laugh.

“Filth and squalor,” Kuroo says with a nod.

“Strong role models of laziness and procrastination,” Daichi adds.

“I do laundry every Sunday!” Asahi says.

Suga pats his arm before stretching up to kiss his cheek. “I know you do. That’s why I’m living with you.”

He slips away after that, while Daichi and Kuroo are busy teasing Asahi, trying to wheedle promises of laundry assistance out of him. Once in the bathroom, he pulls his hair back and washes his face, then slips on a pair of sweats he left on the floor. He still looks like a slob—absolutely nothing like the boy Daichi must have seen in the news—but he can still feel Daichi’s eyes on his bare legs, and while he knows he’s an idiot for letting it make him so happy…it does.

When he rejoins the others they’re eating on the living room floor, and there’s a filled bowl waiting for him on the counter, eggs already sizzling in the rice. He thanks Asahi as he sits down between him and Daichi, and this time he spends most of breakfast fielding questions about himself, but he doesn’t mind that much. Daichi doesn’t seem to give a shit about his popstar status, which feels wonderful, and Kuroo is just sweetly excited and curious. Content to let him skirt over anything from before his time in Hikaru, aside from his friendship with Asahi, and mostly talk about the band.

Daichi listens quietly, and it strikes Suga that in all his concern over not revealing things about himself, he’s failed to really learn much of anything about Daichi so far. He knows that he’s kind, and clever, and well-built enough that he must be devoting a good chunk of time to keeping himself that way. Suga hasn’t been to the gym in almost a week. Dance practice has always kept him fit, but without Hikaru…

“Where do you work out?” he asks, without any preamble. He’s looking directly at Daichi, and the other boy blinks up at him from his last few bites of breakfast.

“Uh…the gym? I mean, on campus. There’s a fitness center there.”

“Oh,” Suga says. “Do you have to be a student to use it, then?”

“Technically, yeah. This building has a little gym, too. We use it if we’re not already at school.”

“Or we use Asahi’s weights, in the room that is now Babies R’ Us,” Kuroo pipes up. He doesn’t say it unkindly at all, Suga knows it’s meant to be a joke. He feels a heaviness in him all the same, though, because he just swooped in here and is changing everything. And maybe Kuroo thinks it’s funny now, but it seems like a lot to expect that a few days of a baby right next door won’t cause his tune to change.

“I’m sor—” Suga begins, intending to apologize, even though Kuroo isn’t asking for that.

“Shut up, Kuroo,” Daichi says. “I can show you the gym, if you want,” he tells Suga, holding a hand up to his roommate when he starts to sputter in response. “Or if you wanted to use the one at school, I can get you in.”

“Through the back entrance?” Suga can't resist asking, voice low and conspiratorial.

“No, I…I work there, so I can bring guests. It’d just have to be a time when I’m there, too.”

“Oh,” Suga says. He’s already very certain that this would be unwise. So far he has mostly seen Daichi in pants and sweatshirts, but he suspects that if he saw him at the gym those would be replaced by shorts and t-shirts, or tank tops even. And if he sees Daichi in those things, muscles working under that lovely, golden brown skin as he lifts and pushes and sweats… “Thank you, I’m sure the gym here is fine, though.”

“It’s abysmal,” Kuroo says.

“It’s…pretty bad,” Daichi agrees. “But it’s up to you. I’m working for a few hours after class, if you want to stop by. I’ll be with clients, but you can just give them my name at the desk and—”

“Clients?” Suga asks.

“I’m a personal trainer,” Daichi says.

“Ah.” Of course he is. All the more reason for Suga to stay away, so he’s not tempted to ask for some personal training time of his own. “I should probably get some laundry done myself, so Baby has something to wear when it arrives. Maybe another time?”

Daichi nods, and he looks a little disappointed, and Suga feels a little disappointed. But Kuroo is now trying to get Suga to do his laundry, Asahi is cutting him off and asking if Suga has thought about names, and Suga tries to push away all of the things Daichi is making him feel and focus on them instead.

 _How,_ though, he wonders, is Daichi still so interested? Will it take the actual arrival of the baby for reality to set in? For him to really grasp that Suga isn’t like him. That their lives are on such insurmountably different tracks. Suga almost wants to shout at him, for being so handsome and thoughtful, and dangling all this hope in front of him. It won’t last, even if he really wishes it could, and he’ll admit that he does. But he doesn’t need this, this inevitable disappointment, this distraction. This reminder of what his life is not anymore.

And yet…Daichi stood there in the face of Suga’s secret, and he offered him his support without a second thought. And that doesn’t seem entirely normal, not at all what he expected. And he wonders…he wonders how much more Daichi might surprise him, if given the chance.

He considers this, while they all work together to get breakfast tidied up, while Daichi and Asahi count cupboards and drawers in the kitchen, determining how many things will need to be baby-proofed. (Suga had been a little worried about this, but hadn’t wanted to inconvenience Asahi with it. They’ll have months before the baby is mobile anyway, but it makes his stomach do something very warm and fluttery, knowing he’s not the only one thinking about these things. That Asahi doesn’t mind making them happen, and Daichi doesn’t mind helping.)

“Daichi-san,” he says, stepping out into the hall right after their neighbors have said goodbye.

Kuroo has just gone inside his own apartment, and Daichi stops at the door, turning back to Suga.

“Yeah?”

“Would you…mind showing me the gym here tonight? I should be able to finish my laundry in time to at least check it out.”

“Yeah… _yes,_ of course. I mean, I wouldn’t. Mind.”

Suga smiles, and Daichi does the same. Suga wonders if maybe he doesn’t even realize he’s blushing.

“I need to do laundry too, though…obviously,” Daichi continues. “So if you’d like some company, we could…”

“I get the sense you think I’m lonely, Daichi,” Suga says, remembering Daichi’s immediate offer of his and Kuroo’s company when Suga first arrived. He says it lightly, but Daichi looks back at him with steady, contemplative eyes.

“Maybe,” he says.

Suga feels a shiver of discomfort. There’s no reason for Daichi to know this, to know the core of him when he barely knows him at all. But he’s looking at Suga with that earnest, honest face, spelling out his fears so matter of factly, with no judgement or pity in his voice. Just a statement, with a flush of warmth behind it that feels like a hand reaching out for Suga to take.

“Where did you come from, Sawamura Daichi?” Suga asks.

Daichi takes a step closer. “I’ve always been here,” he says. “But now you’re here, too.”

Suga wants to leave. He doesn’t want to believe that Daichi is everything he seems to be. He takes a step closer, too. “What time?” he asks.

Daichi’s eyes light up, and Suga’s resolve scatters in the flare. “Seven-thirty. Laundry first, then the gym.”

“From what I’ve gathered, your laundry load will be a workout on its own. What if you run out of steam?”

“I won’t. I have a lot of…steam,” Daichi says, and then his eyes widen slightly and he presses his lips together as he finishes registering his own words, and the way they sound with the two of them standing so close together now. “Stamina, I mean.”

That's even better.

“Good to know,” Suga says. He _shouldn’t_ say it, not in that tone. But Daichi’s voice is rough when he speaks again, and at the moment it seems very worth it.

“And I’ll bring dinner,” Daichi adds.

 _No,_ Suga thinks. _This is not a date._

“For stamina,” he says aloud. Because Daichi smells so nice, and he knows, he _knows_ that Suga’s going to be a father, and he’s standing here anyway.

“Right,” Daichi says. “So, I’ll…I’ll see you tonight?”

Suga nods. He doesn’t say _It’s a date,_ but he doesn’t make sure it’s clear that it’s not. He’s not feeling clear on anything, not with Daichi close enough that Suga is very seriously considering lifting his hand to touch the morning stubble along the other boy’s jaw.

He steps back before he can do anything foolish.

Laundry. They’re going to do laundry. Suga will be washing onesies and little sweaters, and Daichi will be washing jeans and socks and normal things, and he’ll remember that Suga isn’t like the boys in his classes who are far better suited to him.

But.

Maybe there’s a chance that he won’t remember, or that somehow he doesn’t care. And it’s that possibility that makes Suga bite his lip, and then nod as he says, “Tonight.”

It’s what makes his stomach feel tight and excited when Daichi smiles and nods too, before they both go into their own apartments.  

He bounces in place a few times once the door is shut behind him, and then sees Asahi watching him curiously.

“Where’d you go?” he asks.

“I was just…talking to Daichi,” Suga tells him. He can feel the warmth in his cheeks, his lips desperate to curve up into a giddy smile.

“Ah. Do you want me to tell you bad things about him?”

“Have you thought of any?” Suga asks.

“He’s a little domestically challenged.”

Maybe that should bother Suga on some level, given how domestic his life is about to become, but it really only strikes him as endearing.

“I don’t think that’s a dealbreaker,” he says.

“I don’t think your baby is, either,” Asahi tells him.

“Shouldn’t it be, though? If you found out Nishinoya had a kid…”

Asahi blushes immediately at the thought, turning away from Suga to find something to do in the already tidy kitchen. “I don’t know…I freak out about things. Daichi’s very, like, focused and logical though.”

“Sounds tremendously romantic,” Suga teases, going into the kitchen to stand against the counter, next to Asahi.

“I just mean…he just kind of takes things in stride and handles them, without making them a big deal.”

Suga makes a thoughtful sound and leans into Asahi’s side. He’s usually quite good at reading people, and he was so sure when Daichi burst into the apartment that, while he was undeniably attractive in more ways than one, he was the last thing Suga needed.

Now, he’s wondering if he had that last part backwards.

* * *

Daichi goes straight through his apartment, past Kuroo, and into his room. He presses his face into his pillow in case he makes any unintentional sounds of joy, and then he smiles. It’s that kind of smile that can’t be stopped, that tells anyone who sees it exactly how big the wearer’s heart is feeling at that moment.

“Sawamura?” Kuroo calls.

“Go away.”

“Are you…okay?”

Daichi is very okay. Or maybe not okay at all. Probably it’s a little abnormal that he’s _this_ happy right now about a guy agreeing to do laundry at the same time as him.

But it’s not just any guy. It’s a guy with legs so nice that Daichi almost swallowed his own tongue when he saw so much of them this morning. A guy who’s not afraid to walk away from everything he’s known and do something brand new, something that will change the course of the rest of his life.

Daichi knows Suga is still scared of whatever this is. He could see how uncertain he was, even though he was the one who called Daichi’s name and asked for his help. Suga doesn’t need his help, they both know that. Suga could find the gym by himself, and he could work out alone. He could get all his laundry done alone, too, and he could eat dinner with Asahi. But he called Daichi anyway. He stood right in front of him, with his soft hair in the cutest, smallest ponytail that's probably ever existed, the milky skin of one shoulder exposed by the gaping neck of his enormous sweater, and he flirted with him. He definitely did, and Daichi is not going to try to convince himself otherwise. He's just going to enjoy it.

“Yes,” Daichi says, turning his face just enough for his voice to make it through his door to Kuroo. “I’m being really lame, you don’t need to witness it.”

The door opens. Kuroo sits down on the side of Daichi’s bed. He studies Daichi with concern when he rolls over, trying to assess what family of lameness this current situation falls under. Then quickly reads all the signs of being hopelessly smitten on Daichi’s face, and grins.

“What happened with Suga-san?”

“Not enough to warrant this.”

“Is that all I get?” Kuroo asks.

“Currently, yeah. I don’t want you to ruin this for me.”

Kuroo shrugs and leans back, collapsing across Daichi’s legs. “Alright, then. Whenever you’re ready.”

“Get off,” Daichi says, trying to lift his legs and buck Kuroo off of him. He’s stronger than Kuroo, but Kuroo is freakishly long, and with the way he’s draped over his knees, Daichi can’t move him.

“We need to get ready for class,” Kuroo says, crossing his arms behind his head. “So the sooner you divulge…”

“Nothing happened!” Daichi says. “He asked me to show him the gym tonight, and we’re going to do laundry before that.”

“Oh,” Kuroo says. He still doesn’t move. “But…he asked you to show him the gym.”

“He did.”

Kuroo smiles, and Daichi does too, because Kuroo also recognizes the nothing as being something.

“Well, congrats, man,” Kuroo says, finally sitting up. “Since I assume you don’t want me to join you…can you do my laundry, too?”

“Yeah right,” Daichi says, sitting up quickly before Kuroo can try to pin him down again.

“Please? I can’t go commando forever.”

“No,” Daichi says. He gets up and starts to locate all his own dirty laundry from the various places it’s been left around the room.

“Bro,” Kuroo says. “I will never have a hope of getting Kozume to go out with me if I smell. Please, just some boxers and a couple shirts to get me by.”

Daichi looks at Kuroo, his stupid chronic bedhead falling in pleading eyes. “You’re gross.”

“You wore that sweater when you were seventeen,” Kuroo counters.

Rather than try to refute this, which would be impossible because it is unfortunately very true, Daichi just gives Kuroo a scathing look. “If there is _anything_ gross on _anything_ you give me…”

Kuroo flies into him, wrapping his arms around him and almost breaking Daichi’s nose when it slams into his collarbone. “Thank you! Nothing gross. Nothing _noticeably_ gross…I’ll do my best.”

“Oh my God,” Daichi says, rubbing his nose when Kuroo lets him go. He is going to regret this.

Kuroo hurries off to his own room to get his laundry, and Daichi finishes collecting his things. It’s an embarrassingly huge heap when it's all together. He thinks it would be best to narrow it down a little, to the more crucial items, so Suga doesn’t take one look at it and question any attraction he might have towards Daichi.

“Damn,” Kuroo says when he comes back in with an armful of clothing (a pair of jeans included, which was not on the initial list). “Are _you_ wearing underwear?”

Daichi ignores him, which just makes Kuroo raise his eyebrows suggestively until Daichi kicks him in the shin.

“Your sense of humor somewhere in here?” Kuroo asks, nudging Daichi’s laundry pile with his foot before adding his things on top of it.

“You’re being annoying,” Daichi says. Kuroo takes absolutely no offense to this, he just drops back down on Daichi’s bed.

“So…is this, like, a date? Your thing with Suga?”

“No,” Daichi says, sitting on the edge of the bed. “I’ll just be washing your nasty socks next to him. But…we’re going to eat, too.”

“Hmm.”

Daichi looks over at Kuroo when he doesn’t follow that up with a joke, and finds that his expression has settled into something serious.

“What?” Daichi asks.

Kuroo bites at the inside of his cheek, measuring his words slowly. “Just, have you…thought about this? Since last night?”

Daichi shakes his head slightly, to indicate he has no idea what Kuroo is asking him.

“The baby, Daichi.”

“What about it?”

Kuroo shifts a little, pulling a leg up on the bed so he can face Daichi. “Look, I’m excited about it, and I think it’s awesome that Suga’s gonna be a dad, but…he’s gonna be a _dad._  That’s a whole other thing than just dating a cute guy.”

“I like him,” Daichi says.

“Yeah, I know you do, but man…it’s not just him. It’s a little _family,_ it’s—I just think you should really think about it, before—”

“Before what?” Daichi asks.

Kuroo just looks at him, and Daichi knows his friend is well aware it’s already very close to being too late.

He _has_ thought about it, though. About what it means that soon Suga will have a different focus than he or any of his friends do. He knows Suga won't have the same flexibility Daichi has, and maybe he won't even be interested in trying to find the time to be with anyone else when he has a brand new life in his hands. And if he _is_ interested, if this became something, it would be something more, something heavier, than what he would have with a typical guy his age.

Daichi knows all of this, but he also knows that he wants to be around Suga, in any capacity he can. He knows that Suga affects him, and he likes it, even if it makes him feel strange and slightly out of control. He knows there's so much inside Suga that he wants to get closer to, to try to understand. That peace in the middle of a storm of music, the sadness underneath a smile.

“I like him,” Daichi says again. That's all there is to it.

“Okay,” Kuroo says, after a brief pause. “Maybe…think about learning a few things about babies then, because that's about to be his life.”

“I know plenty about babies. I've been keeping you alive the past two years, haven't I?” Daichi says, giving Kuroo a gentle shove. What he wants to say is "thank you," because Kuroo could be calling him crazy right now, at the very least, but he's trying to be helpful instead.  

“Hardy-har, funny man,” Kuroo says, leaning into Daichi, just long enough that Daichi knows he got what he really meant. “Better get ready,” he says, sitting up straight again. “Kozume-kun can’t not laugh at my jokes if I’m not there to make them.”

“Dude…just—”

“I know, I know. I’m working up to it, okay?”

“Okay,” Daichi says, because obviously he can’t give him a hard time right now, when Kuroo was kind enough to not press him about Suga.

Kuroo seems to be so terrified of the prospect of directly asking Kozume out, though, that he freezes up all through Biology. No science jokes, no asides to Daichi that are obviously meant to be overheard. Just his eyes locked on the back of the blond boy’s head.

“ _Creepy,”_ Daichi whispers.

Kuroo throws a pen at him, which misses and clatters across the classroom floor, and then goes back to staring.

Daichi remembers being a second year in high school and being intimidated by Kuroo, jealous of his smooth swagger. He pats his friend’s shoulder and hopes that things work out for both of them, against all odds.

It’s not until he’s picked up take-out and run into his own apartment to brush his teeth before going to get Suga, that he realizes he has nothing to wear other than what he currently has on. Jeans with a stain on the thigh from lunch (it was not his fault, Kuroo thought he saw Kozume and dropped his fork on Daichi’s lap), and the sweatshirt that, as Kuroo pointed out, he's had since he was a teenager. The cuffs are ratty and it’s tight around his chest, and he does realize they are literally just going to be doing laundry, but it would have been nice to look…nice.

There's nothing he can do, of course, so he picks up his appallingly full laundry basket and goes to Suga's door. With the basket held against his hip with one arm, and the bag of take-out cartons in his other hand, he can't actually knock.

“Suga-san?” he calls.

There's no response, so he kicks the door, trying to approximate a knock with the toe of his shoe.

Suga opens the door a few moments later. He's wearing a white t-shirt and baggy athletic shorts, and he looks amazing. Smooth, strong calves, thin wrists, and narrow hips.

By the time Daichi makes it back up to Suga's face, the other boy is wearing a knowing smile. Daichi is so goddamn obvious.

“Did you…kick my door?” Suga asks.

“I…yeah,” Daichi admits. “No hands.”

Suga, who has actual self control and has only been looking at Daichi's face, now takes in the bag and the basket (and the teriyaki stain).

“Are _you_ wearing underwear?” he asks.

“Nice try,” Daichi says. “Kuroo beat you to that one.”

Suga laughs and leans down to pick up his own moderately filled basket. “Next question, then,” he says. “If you get through two weeks’ worth of laundry in time to work out, are you going to do it in jeans?”

“These are multipurpose jeans,” Daichi says. “Daywear, napkin…”

“Ah,” Suga says with a smile. “I see.”

“But I can also just change into a nice, clean pair of shorts after.”

“If it's not midnight at that point, yes.”

“Some of this is Kuroo’s,” Daichi says, not mentioning that he has a second heap of his own dirty clothing waiting back in his apartment.

Suga looks very pleased by this information, which Daichi chooses not to question. They’ve arrived at the little laundry room anyway, so the conversation drops off as they fish coins out of pockets and start loading their clothes into the machines. One for Suga, two for Daichi.

“Oh God…” Daichi says. There’s something _distinctly_ noticeable on Kuroo’s shirt. He’s going to need to wash his hands three times after this, and also punch Kuroo in the kidney.

“That’s…not yours?” Suga asks, taking a step back.

Daichi wads it up and shoves it to the bottom of the basket. It’s not going in with his clothes.

“You’re lucky you live with Asahi,” he says. “He’s the least gross male I’ve ever met.”

“He would probably be delighted to hear that,” Suga says. “You don’t seem particularly gross yourself though, in general,” he adds, casting an obvious glance at the stain on Daichi’s pants.

Daichi considers saying something about that being fully Kuroo’s responsibility, but Suga’s eyes are still on him, appraising and seemingly not disappointed, and it’s making him warm and stupid. He actually feels a little grateful to Kuroo at the moment.

“You don’t either,” he says, which, as far as flirtatious compliments go, is really not the best. “I mean, at all. You’re…really not gross.”

That was even worse. Kuroo would be losing his shit if he witnessed it, but Suga smiles, bright and beautiful in the middle of the poorly lit, windowless laundry room.

“Thank you,” he says.

Daichi thinks it best to not attempt any more words for now, with his face already feeling warm, so he just nods his head and gets the two washing machines going.

“Do we need to stay in here?” Suga asks, once everything is rumbling away and their baskets are empty (except for Kuroo’s unspeakable shirt). “Will people come and steal our wet laundry?”

“No,” Daichi says, “but I usually try to stay close, because people _will_ take your things out the second they’re finished, and dump them somewhere so they can use the machine.”

Suga considers this, and then hops up on top of one of the dryers. “So what’s dinner?”

Dinner is really, really nice. They sit next to each other on the dryers, tapping the backs of their shoes against the machines while they talk, scooping bites of spicy beef and noodles up from cartons passed back and forth between them. Daichi internally does backflips over the way Suga is just casually sharing food with him. He does backflips over basically everything taking place. Suga takes such enormous bites when he eats, and his cheeks get round, like the cutest Disney chipmunk. His fingers are so elegant and deft, and something about the chopsticks held between them is doing things to Daichi. He’d like to know what they feel like, and he’d like to see his own fingers laced between the other boy’s. (There are other things he’d like to see involving Suga’s hands, but he is _not_ thinking about any of those right now.)

They’ve finished eating by the time the washers chug to a halt, and they hop down to shift everything into the dryers.

Suga pauses for a moment, holding up a little pair of pants that is roughly the same size as Daichi’s hand. Smaller, actually. Daichi had almost forgotten, somehow, why it is that they’re here. Why Suga even appeared in his life.

“Are you scared?” he asks, hoping Suga doesn't mind him asking.

Suga’s eyes flick over to him and he smiles, and Daichi breathes out softly in relief.

“I am,” Suga says, finally lowering the little pants and tossing them into the dryer.

“You seem so calm.”

“Hm, well, appearances are deceiving,” Suga says. “Hikaru’s fans think I seem like a good guy, all things pure and sweet, and we know the reality there.”

Daichi hesitates at the tinge of bitterness in Suga’s soft voice. “Suga-san…”

“I’m sorry,” Suga says, smiling again. It rings false, with the tension in his shoulders and the distance in his eyes. “I think I’m just having a bit of an identity crisis.”

“That’s…pretty understandable,” Daichi says. “But…what happened, what you’re doing, you know that doesn’t make you a _bad_ guy, right?”

Suga’s smile turns wry. “It doesn’t make me a very smart one,” he says, snapping the door of the dryer closed.

“Everyone makes mistakes,” Daichi says. It sounds so lame, so flippant, but he doesn’t mean it that way. “My dad…he says it’s what we do after we mess up that matters. That’s what makes us who we are.”

Suga laughs softly and leans against the machines opposite Daichi, chin tilted down. When he looks up at him his eyes are rimmed with tears, and Daichi’s stomach twists at the knowledge that he unintentionally put them there.

“So who am I?” Suga asks. It seems like he _wants_ it to sound flippant, but it doesn’t. It sounds small, and raw, and a little desperate.

Daichi wants to touch him—to hold his hands at the very least, or pull him into his arms so he doesn’t look so adrift—but he stays where he is, leaning against the machine across from Suga. He lets his feet slide out a little, so they almost meet Suga's where they're stretched out in front of him.

“You’re a good person, Suga-san. I don’t have to know you well to know that. You take responsibility for your actions. You put others before yourself.”

“I don’t,” Suga says.

“Yes, you do. You’re going to have a _kid,_ and all its needs are going to come first. You don’t have to, but you’re going to.”

“I _do_ have to. I _want_ to, because—”

Daichi waits, not wanting to push Suga. He slouches down just a little more until the tips of their shoes are touching. “Because why?” he asks gently.

“Because…I need to belong to someone,” Suga says. “It’s selfish. I don’t even know what I’m doing, but I…I want to have a family. More than anything.”

This was not what Daichi was expecting. The admission itself, or _any_ kind of admission taking place on their laundry date that isn’t really a date. He wants to ask about Suga’s family, he wants to know where they are, or if they’ve ever been there at all. But he doesn’t _need_ to know that. He just needs Suga to know everything he’s said is okay.

“I think…” he says, trying to find the right words, when the loudest thoughts in his head are that Suga is amazing and brave and beautiful. “I think that’s the best place to start. You don’t need to know what you’re doing. If you _want_ to do it, you’re going to figure it out.”

Suga sniffles, and a fault line works its way into existence across Daichi’s heart. He is lost. Gone. It is definitely too late.

“It’s not selfish. It’s human,” he adds. “And I…I think you’re going to be a really great dad.”

Suga gives him a wobbly smile, and he laughs a little, but it sounds like he’s crying at the same time. Daichi doesn’t know what to do, other than stay right here.

“That’s very sweet,” Suga says, wiping his eyes. “You seem like a natural at dad talks.”

“I captained my high school volleyball team. It became kind of a habit,” Daichi tells him. “Giving pep talks, keeping everyone in line.”

“Maybe you can give me a few tips, then,” Suga says, shifting so one of his feet is between Daichi’s. It’s nothing—it’s so little, maybe not even a conscious move—but it seems like something really big. It seems like Suga feels safe being closer to him.

“I don’t think you’ll need them,” Daichi says. “But I’m here, if you do.”

Suga doesn’t say anything, but he turns his foot, just enough that it’s touching Daichi’s. The dryers are humming away at Daichi’s back, and the room is warm, the air fuzzy. Buzzing with Suga’s fears and Daichi’s hopes, and whatever this thing is that is zipping straight from Suga’s shoe bumping against his, right up his spine.

“On a scale of one to ten—ten being painfully—how awkward have I just made this?” Suga asks.

“Not awkward,” Daichi says.

“I’ve known you for four days, and I’ve now— ”

“Made me want to know you more.”

“ _Why?”_ Suga asks. “I know you’re a good guy, a genuinely good one. But you don’t…you really don’t have to be here. You know what I have ahead of me.”

“I do know,” Daichi says.

“That can’t be what you want.”

The rumble of the dryers seems to be making it easier, somehow, to be honest. So Daichi tells him what he wants, even though it sounds cheesy and probably silly, because yes, it’s only been four days. It feels like more though, and he thinks Suga must be feeling something similar, or he wouldn’t be standing here right now.

“I like you,” Daichi says. “I want to spend time with you, and I know maybe that will be hard when you’re busy being a dad, but I want to try. If nothing else, we’re neighbors now, and we’re friends? And I want to be here for you, but I also…I’d like…”

“This is a date, isn’t it?” Suga asks.

“Yeah,” Daichi says. “I mean, I’d like to take you on a real one, but…this seems real to me, too.”

“I don’t know if I can date,” Suga says. “Like, logistically.”

“We could redefine it,” Daichi says.

“Dinner at home with crying infant.”

“Movie night featuring periodic breaks for diaper changes,” Daichi suggests.

“Ending in one party falling asleep on the other’s shoulder before ten o’clock.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“Daichi…” Suga says. “You’re…what, twenty years old?”

“So are you.”

“But this is a necessity for me, not for you.”

Daichi doesn’t know how to say that it feels like a necessity without sounding crazy. He doesn’t know how to say how much he likes it when Suga says his name like that, when he forgets the ‘san.’

“Look,” he says. “I know what I want, and I’m going to be here either way, right? So just…hang out with me. And if it’s what you want, too…”

“That’s the thing,” Suga says. “I don’t know if it matters what I want.”

“What…what  _do_ you want?” Daichi asks. He’s said a lot of things to Suga that have made it pretty clear where he stands, and he thinks the things Suga has said have amounted to the same thing, but he isn’t actually sure. “It’s okay if you don’t—”

“I want to spend time with you, too,” Suga says. “And I…I’ve been thinking about you. A lot.”

Daichi swallows, and there’s not much he can do about everything he knows he’s wearing on his face. “So can we just…see, then?”

“I’m a mess right now, Daichi. I'm not…you'll have to be flexible, and patient, and—”

“Okay,” Daichi says.

“Stop it,” Suga says with a smile. “Don't make this so easy.”

“It is easy. And what you want _does_ matter. That part might be harder, the balancing, but—”

“But we can see?” Suga says.

“Yeah.”

One of the dryers whirrs to a stop, clicking and then buzzing loudly. The next two do the same a moment later, and then the little room falls into silence.

Suga hasn't actually said yes, and Daichi wants to give him space, and he wants to get closer to him. He settles on lowering his eyes to their feet, where one of Suga’s is still pressed between his own.

“We’re probably entirely incompatible,” Suga says quietly. Daichi can hear the half-smile in his voice before he even looks up. “You don’t like pop. Or metal.”

“Do _you_ like pop?” Daichi asks.

Suga shrugs, and scrunches up his nose. It’s even cuter than the chipmunk cheeks. “Not really. I just like singing, and dancing.”

“I like watching you sing and dance. That should count.”

“You’ve watched me?” Suga asks, cheeks coloring a little.

The fact that knowing Daichi has seen him makes him react like this, when so many thousands of people have done the same, makes Daichi’s heart rate pick up. “Just one song,” he says. “I felt weird, since you hadn’t told us. I didn’t want to go behind your back, but…you’re really good.”

“Goddammit, Daichi,” Suga says. He finally steps away from the machine he’s been leaning on, into the space between them, and Daichi does the same on instinct, even though he has no idea what Suga means. He looks vaguely exasperated, but his cheeks are still pink, and his eyes are smiling. “Do you even realize how outrageously cute you are?”

Daichi blinks. His heart has gone into overdrive.

“This might be a disaster,” Suga says. Their feet aren’t touching anymore, but now they’re standing right in front of each other, even closer than when they were making plans in the hallway earlier.

It seems weird to _not_ be touching with this kind of proximity, so Daichi lets his fingers trail down the back of Suga's hand. “I don’t think so,” he says. He might not know anything about babies, and he may not even know that much about Suga, but he has good instincts. He thinks he could be good for Suga, and he knows Suga could be far more than that for him. He slips his fingertips between the other boy’s, so they're not quite holding hands, but almost. “I think we should try.”

Suga pulls his hand away, turning it so when he brings it back to Daichi's, their palms are pressed together. “Okay,” he says.

This has been the best date Daichi has ever had. He squeezes Suga's hand and he thinks about kissing him. (He won't, yet, but he thinks about it.) He opens his mouth to say something, and Suga’s phone chimes.

“Sorry,” Suga says. “Let me just…”

He doesn’t let go of Daichi's hand when he reaches past him with his free hand, grabbing his phone from the top of the dryer. It chimes two more times while he's in the process of doing this.

“Oh…” His eyes are wide when they leave the screen and find Daichi's. “Here we go.”

“Here we…?”

“She’s in labor,” Suga says, fingers tightening around Daichi’s. “It's…I’m…”

He looks stunned, and scared, and Daichi is a little terrified himself, but this is it. This is Suga’s life, and Daichi is in.

“You're ready,” he says, taking Suga's other hand and holding them both firmly. “Tell me what you need.”

"I need…I need to be there," Suga says, nervous still, and beautifully determined all the same.

Daichi nods, and he feels it in his chest as just like that the simplicity of this night, of two boys holding hands, shifts into something bigger, something beyond just them. Their first date is over, and now everything else begins.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading! And a huge, huge thank you for the comments you guys have been leaving. I know I've already said this in my replies, but every bit of love and encouragement I find in my inbox is such a bright spot in my day, and I'm inexpressibly grateful for it ❤


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Just a quick thank you for reading, and for your comments last chapter! I may sound like a broken record here, but I can't tell you how much they sustain me ❤
> 
> And now off you go! We have a baby to meet!

Everything immediately after Suga gets Maru’s messages is a bit of a blur. He feels a little dizzy all of a sudden, but there are Daichi’s hands, strong and reassuring, his steady voice promising to collect all their laundry and bring him the baby’s clothes. Telling him to go back to his apartment and start getting his things together.

Somehow, within a matter of minutes, he manages to change and throw some things in a bag for himself, while Asahi packs anything he thinks might possibly be needed for the baby. Daichi goes back through it right after, weeding out anything obviously unnecessary, so Suga won’t have to carry everything he owns to the hospital.

It still seems like quite a bit—his own backpack, the diaper bag, the baby carrier—and he feels like an imposter with all these unfamiliar things draped over him.

“I’ll go with you,” Asahi says before Suga can ask, shifting one of the bags onto his own shoulder. “I don’t have to stay if you want to be alone, but I can at least—”

“Thank you,” Suga says, because he really doesn’t know what he wants, or how he’ll feel once he gets there, but he feels more stable right now with a little of this shared by someone else.

He looks around the apartment quickly, scanning it for anything he’s missed, and spots his phone charger on the kitchen counter.

“If you need anything else just call, I’ll bring it over,” Daichi says, watching Suga stuff the charger into one of the little side pockets on his backpack.

“I don’t have your number,” Suga says, and then he almost laughs when he realizes how ridiculous that is, and that it doesn’t matter anyway, because of course Asahi has it.

“Phone,” Daichi says, holding out his hand. Suga gives it to him, and Daichi enters his information in quickly. “Fuck, I typed my name wrong,” he says. “Just fix it later.”

Suga takes the phone back and looks it over. _Sawamura Daicho._

It’s probably just that Suga is high on adrenaline and the imminent unknown right now, but this one mistyped letter strikes him as possibly the best thing he has ever seen, and after emitting a small squeak, he loses it. He laughs so hard that Asahi soon looks mildly concerned, and Daichi’s face goes steadily from pink to deep red.

“Give it back,” he says.

“ _Daicho.”_

 _“Suga…_ let me fix it.”

Suga shakes his head, backing away from him. “Absolutely not. This is set in stone.”

Daichi glares at him. The tips of his ears are red now too, and it’s dangerously cute. Suga wishes he had more time to see how much he could make the color spread, but he needs to go. He slips his phone in his back pocket and steps closer to Daichi again, tucking his fingers into the pocket at the front of his sweatshirt.

“Daichi,” he says. (He wants to say Daicho, but if he does he’ll be lost again.) “Don’t be angry.”

Daichi rolls his eyes at Suga’s placating tone, a smile lifting the corner of his lips. “Just fix it. And get out of here so we can see your baby.”

Suga nods. He feels lighter now, a little of his tension having been freed along with the bout of laughter. He’s still in a bit of a state of disbelief, but he knows this is happening, his baby is coming. The next time he’s in this apartment, his son or daughter will be with him, and Daichi will be waiting for them both.

“I had a good time tonight,” he says, fingers curling a little tighter in Daichi’s shirt. Warm hands come to settle on his waist, and Daichi’s smile goes so soft it makes Suga’s breath catch.

“I’m, uh…going to take this stuff downstairs,” Asahi says, picking up the soft baby carrier that Suga dropped on the floor.

Suga nods to him with an appreciative smile, and waits for his friend to edge out the door and close it behind himself, before slipping his other hand in Daichi’s pocket, too. It’s fleecy and soft, warm from Daichi’s body, and part of him wishes he could just shrink down and curl up inside it.

“I did, too,” Daichi says.

“I guess you’ll have to show me the gym another time.”

“It’s not going anywhere,” Daichi says. When Suga looks up at him he’s smiling shyly, and he’s pretty sure he knows exactly what Daichi is thinking. The promise he’s keeping behind his lips, but wearing over his face. He’s not going anywhere either.

Suga really hopes this is true. He knows Daichi believes it is, and he wants to believe it too, but neither of them know what it’s going to be like to navigate the waters of a new relationship with an infant in the mix.

“Don’t worry,” Daichi says, as if he’s read Suga’s thoughts. He lifts a hand to Suga’s hair, pulling gently on his ponytail. “I meant what I said.”

“Which part?” Suga asks. Daichi said a lot of wonderful things while they stood toe to toe, with the soft churn of dryer drums serenading them.

“Everything?” Daichi says with a smile, his thumb rubbing a slow path along the line of Suga’s waist. “I can be patient. We can figure this out. I’ll be right here when you get back.”

“ _Right_ here?”

Daichi tugs his hair again and Suga laughs. “One apartment over. Or I can come get you, when you’re ready to come home.”

“In case I want company?” Suga teases.

“In case you want help.”

It’s likely that Suga will _need_ help, but what he’ll _want_ is…

“What if I just want you?” he asks. He watches the movement of Daichi’s throat as he swallows, and the way understanding washes over his face like sunlight.

“Then you have my number,” Daichi says. “Or Daicho’s, at least. But we’re on pretty good terms. He’ll get me the message.”

Suga grins and pulls Daichi into him with his hands in his sweatshirt, pressing his face to his shoulder and closing his eyes when Daichi’s arms wrap around him, heavy and comfortable.

“I like you,” Suga says. He doesn’t think he actually put those words out there, while he was still trying to process the way Daichi just confessed his feelings with such ease in the laundry room. As if it wasn’t even a confession—just a statement, an observation.

Daichi holds him closer, and Suga’s knuckles are pressing into the other boy’s stomach, but he doesn’t seem to mind. He rests his head on Suga’s, inhales slowly, breath shifting Suga’s hair as it moves back out, and then he straightens finally, gently pressing Suga back.

“Go on,” he says. “Asahi’s waiting.”

Suga nods. Everything is waiting, and he’s as ready as he’s going to be. “I’ll see you soon,” he says, stepping into his loosely laced shoes. He’s getting excited now, jittery, a little desperate for some metalcore to calm his nerves and raise up his courage, but that will have to wait.

Daichi opens the door for him, smiles at him reassuringly, and it’s not quite the same kind of therapy as drum beats realigning the pace of his heart, but it’s very nice. Not at all ineffective.

He hurries downstairs, with a quick wave over his shoulder to Daichi, and he and Asahi take the train to the hospital, rush to the admittance desk, dart through the halls to Maru’s room, only to find that very little is happening at all. The doctor has told her it will be at least four or five more hours.

“Can I get you anything?” Suga asks her, while Asahi waits out in the hallway.

“No, no,” Maru says. She looks tired, and there’s a little crease between her brows. “I’m going to try to rest. If you don’t…I’m really glad that you’re here, but if you don’t mind, I’d rather just, be alone? I don’t want anyone seeing me like this. I just want to—to do it, and then…”

“Of course,” Suga says. He doesn’t allow himself to stare at the swell of her stomach under the hospital gown and white sheet, but it’s there in the corner of his eyes. His baby, grown and ready to come into a brand new world, with only an ignorant boy as its guide. “Then…I probably won’t see you again, after this.”

“No,” Maru says. “They’ll bring you the baby, but I don’t want to…”

“I know,” Suga says. They’ve already talked about this. Once the baby is born, Maru will sign the documents to award him full custody, and their acquaintance will come to an end. He and the baby will both be strangers to her.

“I hope…I hope you don’t think I’m a terrible person. I’ll do all of it right next time, when I’m ready.”

“Maru-chan…” 

Suga pulls a chair closer to the bed, sitting on the edge of it so she doesn’t think he’s settling in for a long stay. She looks up at him with the same bright eyes he'd notice sometimes when he passed her in the halls of their junior high. The ones that seemed both comforting and enticing in their familiarity when he met her again, when his mind was too hazy to think farther ahead than that night. Her face is fuller now though, one of probably so many adjustments she’s taken on to bring a baby into the world that she’ll never see again.

“ _No,”_ Suga says. “I don’t think that at all. I only meant, since this is the last time I'll talk to you, I want to make sure I get a chance to thank you. I don't…I don’t know that I could ever actually thank you enough.”

Maru looks down, fidgeting with the edge of the bedsheet. “You don’t need to. It's been hard, but it was less than a year. You’re the one…” Her voice goes tight suddenly, and her words drop off. Suga watches as tension takes ahold of her, pain washing over her features as she clutches the sheet in both hands.

He’s the one who will be responsible for this child’s life, but he doesn’t envy her the responsibility of making its life possible. He waits while she breathes carefully, watches the furrows in her brow start to smooth, leaving her looking a little more worn than she was a few minutes ago.

“I’m okay,” she says, when she opens her eyes and sees his concern. “But, can you—”

“Yes, I’m sorry,” Suga says, getting to his feet and touching the back of her hand briefly. “Take care, Maru-chan. I hope you’ll be well and happy.”

“You too, Suga-san. Good luck with everything.”

Suga thanks her again and says goodbye. If she doesn’t want him in here, then all he can do now is give her space, and wait.

“Okay?” Asahi asks, looking up when Suga enters the corridor.

Suga nods and tells him about his brief visit with Maru as they walk back to the waiting room together, and find a spot that isn’t directly under one of the intensely blowing cooling vents. Asahi waits with him for the first few hours, side by side on blue chairs that have the appearance of being soft, but are really not. Occasionally a nurse comes out and updates them, or answers some of Suga’s many questions about what will happen when the baby arrives. When it’s nearly midnight and a new nurse passes by to tell him it will still be a while, Suga squeezes Asahi’s arm, rousing him from the zoned-out state he’s fallen into.

“Go on home,” he says. You have to work tomorrow.”

“I can—” Asahi pauses to cover a yawn with his hand. “I can call in.”

“No, you don’t need to do that,” Suga says. He’s so tired now that he’s finding it hard to even feel nervous. He’ll be fine waiting on his own, and when the baby finally gets here, he’ll be surrounded by people who know what they’re doing. He has no problem asking for help so he can learn all he can, and hopefully go home with some semblance of competency. “Go get some sleep. I’m really okay.”

Asahi studies him with sleepy eyes, and seems to decide that he’s telling the truth. “I’ll come back when I get off,” he says. “Or sooner, if you need me.”

“Asahi…already such a good uncle,” Suga smiles, and Asahi mumbles something that sounds like a denial, but he looks quietly pleased.

He pulls his jacket back on, kisses the top of Suga’s head and says goodnight, and Suga settles in to keep on waiting. And waiting. And waiting. He cannot imagine how Maru is feeling. He’s not sure when he drifts off, or how many times he moves in and out of sleep, but eventually he’s too uncomfortable to keep trying. Around five in the morning he sits up, pulling his knees to his chest and getting out his phone.

A little thrill warms him when he sees there’s a message from Daichi, even as he laughs at the mistyped name that he has yet to correct. He responds to Asahi’s messages first, letting him know he’s fine and nothing has happened, still, and then he pulls up Daichi’s.

 **Sawamura Daicho** : hey...how are you doing?

 **Suga** : sleepy -_- I’ve been in the waiting room the whole time

 **Sawamura Daicho** : i heard asahi come in last night  
**Sawamura Daicho** : i want to ask if you need some company, but then you’ll tease me :p

 **Suga** : :D I’m okay right now...I think it should be pretty soon. And I also think I’m going to be here longer than I expected. I guess they keep the baby here for like a week, so...

 **Sawamura Daicho** : woah...really? you’ll need more clothes

 **Suga** : yes...and  
**Suga** : possibly  
**Suga** : some company

 **Sawamura Daicho** : possibly

 **Suga** : a week is quite a long time

 **Sawamura Daicho** : so you’re saying i could ask you out for a hospital cafeteria dinner and you might say yes?

 **Suga** : the odds are in your favor

 **Sawamura Daicho** : i’ll be there. whenever it’s a good time for you  
**Sawamura Daicho** : also kuroo is...very excited that it’s Baby Time  
**Sawamura Daicho** : and would probably like to visit as well  
**Sawamura Daicho** : preferably at a diffferent time

 **Suga** : just how many f’s is that?

 **Sawamura Daicho** : the keypad is so tiny

 **Suga** : hence Daicho

 **Sawamura Daicho** : tell me you’ve changed that

 **Suga** : OuO

 **Sawamura Daicho** : Sugawara

 **Suga** : can we talk about how you also felt the need to put Sawamura in there?  
**Suga** : like really, what other Daicho do you think I know?

 **Sawamura Daicho** : (；⌣̀_⌣́)

 **Suga** : (◕‿◕)

 **Sawamura Daicho** : those look like very awake eyes

 **Suga** : incredibly inaccurate then  
**Suga** : why are you even awake so early?

 **Sawamura Daicho** : I don’t know...I just woke up, and I was thinking about you  
**Sawamura Daicho** : have you slept at all?

 **Suga** : i have, actually. I stretched out over three seats and pulled my hood over my head and hoped no one would tell me i was being rude

 **Sawamura Daicho** : that sounds adorable

 **Suga** : ^^  
**Suga** : does it?

 **Sawamura Daicho** : i think..when i was telling you why i want to know you more, i may have forgotten a few things  
**Sawamura Daicho** : i mean i don’t want to sound shallow

 **Suga** : you’re at no risk of that, just fyi, so go ahead ;)

 **Sawamura Daicho** : change my name first  
**Sawamura Daicho** : then I’ll tell you how cute you are

 **Suga** : can i change it to anything i want?

 **Sawamura Daicho** : .....no. you can’t.

 **Suga** : Sawamura Daicho makes me happy though

 **Sawamura Daicho** : this is unfair  
**Sawamura Daicho** : fine  
**Sawamura Daicho** : keep it

 **Suga** : (*´▽`*)

 **Daichi** : cute

 **Suga** : ty. also i fixed it...you are now Daichi

 **Daichi** : thank you  
**Daichi** : i’m ready to hold up my end of the bargain  
**Daichi** : although I think my stealth level in ogling you has been pretty negligible so..

 **Suga** : i didn’t think there were actually any attempts to be stealthy?

 **Daichi** : there weren’t really. But i don’t know if it sounds worse to just admit that i didn’t care if you knew i was staring

 **Suga** : i quite like it actually  
**Suga** : you’re very open, and it’s nice  
**Suga** : oh daichi hang on

 **Daichi** : okay  
**Daichi** : everything okay? Is it baby time??

 **Suga** : akjdfkglsj yes oh my god  
**Suga** : tell asahi for me pls i’ll talk to you both later

 **Daichi** : i will...you’ve got this suga :)

Suga almost drops his phone in his rush to shove it in his backpack and follow the nurse to the room they’ll bring the baby to. She tells him there’s no need to hurry, it will be a few more minutes at least, but he wants to be there, waiting, the second he needs to be.

He sits on the edge of the hospital bed and twists his hands between his knees. He hums to himself, something light and familiar, one of Hikaru’s songs. It focuses and stabilizes him, helps push away that tiny urge he has in the pit of his stomach to get up and run before it’s too late. He’s so excited, and he’s so, so scared, and the door is opening now so there’s nothing he can do but stand up and be here for what comes.

A different nurse steps in, a little bundle cradled in her arms. Suga is already crying, just at the sight of the tiny fist raised above the blankets.

The nurse smiles at him and comes closer, adjusting the angle of her arms so Suga can see better. “Congratulations, Sugawara-san,” she says. “Meet your daughter.”

His daughter. Suga’s hands are trembling when he reaches for her, and he hesitates, but the nurse just waves him towards the bed again. Telling him kindly to sit, and then lowering the baby into his arms.

It’s so strange, to be holding this person who will belong to him for the rest of their lives. Who exists, in part, because of him. To know that she’ll forever be the most important thing in his world, but to not know her yet. To only be seeing her face for the first time.

Every feature belongs to her. He can’t yet see anything of himself in her round face, the dark thatch of hair on her head. There's nothing familiar, except for the way she feels when he holds her closer to his chest, carefully touches one downy cheek with the side of his finger. She feels like exactly what he’s been waiting for, since before he knew that feeling always pulling at him meant he was waiting for anything at all. Her eyes are closed and she makes a little squawk—not exactly a cry, not a happy coo, either—but it’s her voice, and Suga thinks it’s magic.

“We’ll need to take her to get cleaned up,” the nurse says, “but would you like a few minutes with her first?”

“Yes,” Suga says, without looking up. “Please.”

The nurse nods and leaves the room, pulling the door closed behind her.

Suga sits back on the bed and the baby starts to cry as they move, her little face immediately turning red. He doesn’t know what to do, so he just holds her a little closer and talks to her. He tells her that she’s safe and that he’s here, that he’s always going to be here. He bounces her, gently, gently in his arms, and she seems to like that, more than the words that don’t mean anything to her. The crying stops and her eyes open, big and dark. They’re so solemn as they look up at him, almost wise. Like maybe, for now, she still remembers everything from where she came from. Like she knows more than Suga does. This doesn’t seem unlikely to him.

“Hello,” he says.

The baby yawns.

“Little one…I can’t believe you’re mine.”

She yawns again, and Suga does too. He wishes they were at home already, in the bed that just arrived the day before, except he doesn’t yet know how to feed her, or change her, or do anything at all, except look at her and be amazed.

“Mai,” he says, trying out one of the names he’s had in mind, the one that means _dance._ The one that seems right, now that she’s here. Now that he knows her face, delicate and bright.

The baby’s eyes close, open slowly, then close again, and Suga cups her tiny head in his hand and lowers his forehead to hers.

He doesn’t know who she’ll be as she grows. If she’ll love music, if she’ll dance. But to him, dancing is joy, and so is she. He whispers it again so it will belong to her, just like he does.

* * *

A message arrives from Suga while Daichi is eating breakfast. _It's a girl…she's healthy and perfect._

“A girl?” Kuroo says, when Daichi reads it to him.

“Yep.”

“Oh my God. We don't know anything about girls.”

“We don't know anything about babies, period,” Daichi says. He is working on this though, with the help of Google. He had a hard time sleeping last night anyway, with the buzz of being so close to Suga still working through him, so he spent a good amount of time reading articles and bullet point lists of useful information. He’s fully aware that he really still knows nothing, but he's hoping by the time Suga is back home with the baby, he’ll at least be able to be marginally helpful.

“True,” Kuroo says. “Except that they are a tiny blessing that fit in doll clothes.”

“Sure,” Daichi says, getting up to rinse his dishes in the sink. He focuses on watching every particle left behind from his breakfast wash away, and not on the fact that he's a little petrified right now, because a baby girl seems even more bewildering than a baby boy.

He dries his hands and picks his phone back up, waving Kuroo away when he starts clamoring for pictures that Daichi doesn't have.

 **Daichi** : Congratulations Suga :)  
**Daichi** : also sorry...Kuroo really wants a picture but only when you have a chance

 **Suga:** thank you :))  
**Suga:** she's sleeping in the nursery now so i’m just hanging out back in the waiting room. I'm not a patient so I don't have a room.  
**Suga:** *image attached*

 **Daichi:** oh my god  
**Daichi:** she's really cute?  
**Daichi:** like not in a generic baby way...but really legitimately  
**Daichi:** Kuroo made the most ridiculous sound when he saw her...I wish you could have heard

 **Suga:** lol...me too  
**Suga:** i think she's uncommonly adorable as well

 **Daichi** : have you named her already?

 **Suga** : I have...her name is Mai

 **Daichi** : Sugawara Mai  
**Daichi** : that's a good name. Pretty and not unnecessarily complicated  
**Daichi** : and...fitting

 **Suga** : unless she hates dance ~_^  
**Suga** : But in a non literal sense I think it will always be fitting. The feeling behind it is what makes me love it

 **Daichi** : will you still do it now? Without Hikaru?

 **Suga** : i hope so? I’ll just have to find the time

 **Daichi** : well, you will have three babysitters...we should be able to make it work  
**Daichi** : i mean you might not want to leave your child with us..I won't be offended if you don't want to  
**Daichi** : i am cpr certified at least?

 **Suga** : daichi...you're very cute. And you're just as qualified as I am  
**Suga** : more, because I am not cpr certified :/ should I be?

 **Daichi** : i don't think it's a parental requirement. I could go over the basics with you though...the rules are different for babies/children than for adults, so you wouldn't really need half the course if you took it

 **Suga** : god what else have I not even thought about?  
**Suga** : i was feeling pretty good about mostly successfully feeding her

 **Daichi** : you should feel good. you're doing great Suga  
**Daichi** : do you need anything? are you going to come home since you don't have a room?

 **Suga** : no I'm okay...I'm going to grab something from the cafeteria, and then I want to be ready to see her as soon as she's awake  
**Suga** : i think they frown upon living in the waiting room….but that’s my plan for the week. I don't want to be a stranger to her when I bring her home

 **Daichi** : that makes sense  
**Daichi** : i know asahi’s planning to go see you when he gets off work, but kuroo and i can wait for another day if all of us would be too much

 **Suga** : no you can come today if you want to :) general visiting hours go until 8, so before then would be best if you can?

 **Daichi** : i can be there by 6:30 i think

 **Suga** : sounds good!  
**Suga** : also, Daichi.....>_>

 **Daichi** : ...yes?

 **Suga** : can you do me an enormous favor?

 **Daichi** : of course

 **Suga** : no it’s really big, and if you don’t have any free time today that’s totally okay. I’d ask asahi but he’s already at work  
**Suga** : I can wait if I need to

 **Daichi** : I’ll have some time between class and work, what is it?

 _It_ is a need for headphones, good ones. Suga emphasizes this repeatedly, then sends Daichi specific acceptable model numbers and a promise to pay him back immediately, followed by a series of effusive thank yous. Daichi assures him that it isn’t a big deal, shoves Kuroo away when he points out that Daichi is blushing, and then tells Suga to go and eat while he has the chance.

 **Suga** : yes sir  
**Suga** : i am selecting a gelatinous fruit and yogurt parfait at this very moment  
**Suga** : the grapes look...questionable

 **Daichi** : suga i can bring you food

 **Suga** : oh..no i found one with strawberries...it looks less concerning

 **Daichi** : suga

 **Suga** : i’ll see you tonight daichi! Thank you thank you thank you!

 **Daichi** : please don’t be dying of a foodborne illness

Suga doesn’t respond to this last text, so Daichi puts his phone down and heads to his room to get dressed.

“Sawamura,” Kuroo calls after him. “What was he saying? Why’d you look so cute and happy?”

“I didn’t,” Daichi says, picking up his pace to try to make it to his room before Kuroo can catch him.

Kuroo has very long legs, unfortunately, and he swings himself into Daichi’s path, blocking his door and grinning down at him. “You. Are so. Smitten.”

“Shut up. I have been from the start.”

“Yeah,” Kuroo says, “but it’s different now. He’s not just an idea anymore. He’s a person, with a fucking _baby,_ and you’re still just…”

“Any plans to ask Kozume-kun out within the next century?” Daichi asks. He’s well aware of how embarrassingly hard he’s falling, and it’s not that he cares that Kuroo knows this, but it’s ingrained in him to remind Kuroo that he is not one to talk.

“Yes, I have plans, for your information,” Kuroo says loftily. “Next week. It’s happening.”

“We have Bio this morning,” Daichi points out.

“I’m not mentally prepared yet.”

“You will never be mentally prepared. Do it,” Daichi says, poking him in the chest. “Do it today.”

“Stop it,” Kuroo says, flapping his hands at Daichi and leaving an opening for him to get into his room. “You’re making me nervous.”

“Kuroo Tetsurou,” Daichi says, turning back to face him. “Stop being a wuss.”

“I am _not—”_

“You are. Do you believe in yourself, or not?”

“ _Not,”_ Kuroo blurts out, then blinks in surprise. His standard bedhead is particularly droopy this morning, and he currently looks like a sad, wilting rooster. Daichi doesn’t get the urge to hug his friend very often _—_ it’s just not what they do _—_ but he kind of wants to now.

“Oh my God,” he says, following his instinct and wrapping an arm around Kuroo’s neck to drag him into a rough hug. Kuroo drops his head to Daichi’s shoulder and sighs heavily, and Daichi sighs, too, patting the tragic rooster hair. “Kuroo…”

“He’s different,” Kuroo mumbles.

“You don’t even know him,” Daichi says. “Are you sure you’re not just attracted to the fact that he’s a challenge?”

“No. I don’t know. I don’t think so,” Kuroo says. “Doesn’t it mean something, though? That he’s so…weird?”

Daichi has no idea what that's supposed to mean. He pushes Kuroo back and sits down on the floor to lean against his bed, waiting for Kuroo to do the same, and then turning to face him with raised eyebrows.

“Like…it means something to me,” Kuroo continues. “He’s so quiet, and he’s so smart, and he makes these amazing doodles on the sides of his notes? And there’s always cat hair on his sweater, and I just…”

“You like his weird,” Daichi says.

“ _Yeah.”_

“Okay. So maybe he’ll like yours too, but you won’t know if you don’t give him more to go on than staring at the back of his head and talking too loud.”

Kuroo sighs again and slumps to the side, head thunking back down on Daichi’s shoulder.

“You’re smart, and funny, and fairly endearing. And when you’re not overthinking the fuck out of everything, you _are_ capable of being pretty smooth.”

“Maybe he hates my hair,” Kuroo says, while rubbing his face on Daichi’s shirt.

“I am _not_ a tissue,” Daichi says.

“I’m not fucking crying. I just didn’t want to say thank you and make you get awkward.”

Oh. Daichi should have picked up on that. He pats Kuroo’s head again.

“Your hair is a lost cause, but if he’s shallow enough for that to be the reason he’s not interested in you…”

“I guess,” Kuroo says. “I just…I _like_ that he’s weird, but it makes me feel like…I have no idea what to do.”

“I’m maybe dating a single dad,” Daichi says. “I have no idea what I’m doing either.”

Kuroo considers this, tapping long fingers on his raised knee, and then curling them into a fist. “Okay. Fuck...you’re right. I’m being a wuss.”

“Just a bit.”

“I’ll do it. Today.”

Daichi slaps Kuroo’s shoulder and then squeezes it. “Good. And then even if it’s horrible, we can go see Suga’s baby later and you’ll be okay.”

“Dude, his baby? Did you see her cheeks? And her chin?”

“I did. She’s like a pixie.”

“She’s Tinkerbell.”

“Probably don’t call her that though. Her name’s Mai.”

“God, that’s cute,” Kuroo says. “Should we get her something? A stuffed animal, or…?”

“She’s, like, four hours old. She’s not going to care about anything we bring.”

“It’s the _gesture,_ Sawamura.”

“Yeah…okay. Yes. I’m picking up some headphones for Suga after class. You want to come with me?”

Kuroo does, very much. With that settled he leaves to shower, and Daichi finally finishes getting ready. He sends a text to Asahi  after, while he’s waiting for Kuroo to stop obsessing over his hair in the bathroom.

 **Daichi** : yo...are you bringing something for the baby when you go?

 **Asahi** : i’d like to. Honestly i have no idea what to get though  
**Asahi** : did you see her??

 **Daichi** : i did...she’s perfect

 **Asahi** : she’s perfect! I’m really worried about being a good uncle. I’m already afraid im going to like....fail

 **Daichi** : azumane...please  
**Daichi** : relax. i promise you’re made to be uncle of the year  
**Daichi** : kuroo and i are going to try to find something for her in a few hours. do you want us to pick something up for you?  
**Daichi** : you’ll have to give me an actual item to look for though because i don’t know wtf i’m doing

 **Asahi** : aah that would be great if you don’t mind?  
**Asahi** : i don’t know what though...i’ll try to think of something

 **Daichi** : k..i’ll text you when we’re out

 **Asahi** : thanks daichi  
**Asahi** : and also  
**Asahi** : thanks...for being here for Suga. you and kuroo have become good friends to me, and you’ve been so awesome about Suga and the baby moving in  
**Asahi** : i appreciate you welcoming him in so easily the way you did with me  
**Asahi** : i mean not exactly the same way...i know you guys are...something  
**Asahi** : and i don’t want to like..be an asshole or anything but please be really careful with that because i like you and i’ll be so mad at you if you’re not good to him

 **Daichi** : asahi....are you threatening me?

 **Asahi** : no! I’m not! I just...he’s important to me, and he deserves good things, and i only meant that  
**Asahi** : i don’t know  
**Asahi** : yes..i’m threatening you. I think you’re a really good guy and i think you’d be good for suga, but he doesn’t have anyone else to look out for him and also i don’t want to end up hating you  
**Asahi** : i understand things just don’t always work out, just

 **Daichi** : i know what you mean Asahi  
**Daichi** : i don’t want you to hate me either...and of course we welcomed suga in, he’s your friend  
**Daichi** : and i like him a lot  
**Daichi** : a lot  
**Daichi** : i didn’t meant to say that twice...i thought i’d missed it the first time  
**Daichi** : maybe subconsciously i meant to

 **Asahi** : :)  
**Asahi** : you’re not mad at me?

 **Daichi** : for being a good friend to Suga? Do you think i’m a good guy or not? What kind of asshole would get mad about that?  
**Daichi** : why do you always expect the worst of me?

 **Asahi** : i don’t!!

 **Daichi** : don’t freak out...i’m kidding  
**Daichi** : aren’t you at work right now?

 **Asahi** : yes sorry i just needed to say that stuff and i think i was afraid to do it in person

 **Daichi** : you think? xD  
**Daichi** : and why are you apologizing to me? Good god asahi

 **Asahi** : shut up... okay fine i'm not sorry.

 **Daichi** : sure you're not. i’ll talk to you later you gigantic marshmallow

 **Asahi** : marshmallow?

 **Daichi** : are you or are you not a big sweet puff of fluff inside that oversized degenerate exterior?

 **Asahi** : Daichi this is why I’m sometimes terrified of you. I don’t even know if this is a compliment or just two insults smashed together?

 **Daichi** : and this is terrifying?

 **Asahi** : Daichi

 **Daichi** : Asahi  
**Daichi** : you’re very fun to tease. And also a bit of a marshmallow. But with a spine! You even threatened me!  
**Daichi** : i’m not insulting you

 **Asahi** : okay?

 **Daichi** : get back to work azumane

 **Asahi** : okay  
**Asahi** : i’ll text if i come up with a good baby gift

 **Daichi** : great...if you come up with two or three that would be even better

Asahi goes silent after this, understandably. Daichi gets off the couch and raps on the bathroom door.

“We gotta go, Princess. If your hair isn’t fixed yet, it’s never gonna happen.”

“There’s this _one piece_ , that is just…” Kuroo’s words dissolve into unintelligible muttering, so Daichi opens the door to see his friend leaning over the bathroom counter, one hand just hovering beside his hair, while the other nudges at a section of his unruly fringe. The whole thing looks exactly the same as it always does.

“One piece?” Daichi asks.

“I’m wearing a fucking hat,” Kuroo says.

Daichi pats his shoulder and then glances at the mirror, running a hand quickly through his own short hair.

“I fucking hate you,” Kuroo adds. “Your perfect fucking hair.”

“I don’t think your foul language is going to win Kozume-kun over.”

“Do you even brush it? Like, ever?”

Daichi does not. He combs his fingers through it when he gets out of the shower. Kuroo already looks like he might strangle him with the wet towel lying on the counter though, so he doesn’t say this.

He opts for remaining silent the entire walk to campus. He really doesn’t know what to say when they get to class and Kozume isn’t there, or when he doesn’t show up at all.

“He’s not dead,” he whispers to Kuroo, before he can even get started on that line of thought.

“Is this a _sign?”_ Kuroo asks.

Daichi shakes his head, but it is incredibly weird and shitty luck that Kozume is missing for the first time, when Kuroo was finally prepared to have some balls. He can’t really make sense of what the universe was trying to suggest with this turn of events, until the lecture winds to a close, and their professor asks if anyone will volunteer to bring the day’s notes to Kozume Kenma, who will need them for the exam the following week.

Kuroo sits there with wide eyes for a few seconds before Daichi pokes him hard in the ribs, and then his mouth flies open as he jumps to his feet. He’s probably never been less smooth, or more incredibly obvious, but at least Kozume isn’t here to see it. And when they leave class a few minutes later, Kuroo has Kozume’s number and dorm room scribbled on his notes.

“I feel like Saito shouldn’t just be handing that stuff out,” Daichi muses. “Isn’t that a breach of privacy?”

Kuroo punches his shoulder, and then grins when Daichi turns to scowl at him. “I feel like a _god,”_ he says.

“Okay,” Daichi says. “Does this mean you’re not coming with me to see Suga tonight? Because I wouldn’t mind that.”

“No,” Kuroo says. “I am going to see that baby, and it’s going to purify my soul. And then I’ll go to Kozume’s.”

“Please call him first,” Daichi says. “Don’t just appear at his doorway.”

Kuroo seems to feel that this requires discussion. A lot of it. They’re still “discussing” it (Kuroo is discussing, Daichi is occasionally nodding or disagreeing) when they make it into town, and Daichi tunes him out completely so he can make sure he gets the right headphones for Suga.

 **Daichi** : *image attached*  
**Daichi** : yes?

 **Suga** : yessss  
**Suga** : you didn’t have to do this daichi..thank you!!

 **Daichi** : it’s no problem...i’ll see you tonight

 **Suga** : okay (*^‿^*)

“Focus, please,” Kuroo says.

“Oh my God, Kuroo…this isn’t complicated. Just text him and say Saito gave you his number because he’ll need the notes for next week. Then ask what a good time to drop them off would be, or if he wants to meet somewhere. Don’t tell him you have his address already, it’s creepy.”

Kuroo mulls this over while they leave the electronics shop and get back on the train. He takes the entire ride to their next stop to compose (and recompose) one tiny text message.

“ _You_ need to focus now,” Daichi says, when they've entered a shop dedicated entirely to babies, and he needs to not feel alone in his ineptitude.

They wander around for a while, and it’s kind of fun looking at everything, until a salesclerk approaches them thinking they’re a couple, and Kuroo slings his arm over Daichi’s shoulder and humors him, because he’s a piece of shit.

“We’re picking something. Now,” Daichi says when the clerk finally leaves them alone, but when he looks at Kuroo he isn’t even listening to him. He’s drifting off towards a fucking gigantic stuffed unicorn, and there should be no way that’s what has caught his eye, but of course, that’s exactly where he goes.

“Done,” he says.

“It’s the size of an actual bear,” Daichi says. “No.”

“Oh my Gooood, Daichi,” Kuroo sings, stroking the unicorn’s face. “Feel it!”

“I’m not petting a fucking—” (He is petting it. It feels like a kitten, or a cloud, or some other ridiculous, impossibly soft thing.) “It’s still too big.”

Kuroo is already picking it up. Daichi can no longer see him. “Done,” his voice says from behind a plush, pale pink body, and long strands of thick, soft yarn. “Good luck beating this.”

“Where the fuck is he supposed to put that?”

“Stop swearing, Sawamura. This is a family store.” Every time Kuroo talks, it’s like the unicorn is speaking. He seems to pick up on this, and takes hold of its two front legs, waving them around as he continues. “I hope you don’t intend to use such language in front of Baby Mai-chan, because that will _not_ be the way to Suga’s heart.”

One leg wobbles in front of him for emphasis, like its wagging its hoof at Daichi. Daichi has to turn around so he doesn’t lose his shit, because it’s incredibly dumb and obnoxious, but also hilarious. He loses it anyway after Kuroo tries to make the unicorn chase him, and then trips when one of its legs gets tangled between his own and he goes flying. The unicorn cushions his fall, but they both laugh so loudly in the aftermath that the salesclerk who thinks they’re a gay couple (which, admittedly, isn’t entirely inaccurate, they just aren’t gay with each other) comes back over, and pointedly asks if there’s anything he can help them with.

They leave with the unicorn riding on Kuroo’s back. They’ve also acquired a little low, round seat that vibrates and bounces gently, and should give Suga a place to put the baby down when he needs to (Asahi’s gift). And Daichi chose a set of soft, muslin swaddling blankets (because he called his cousin who has children, and this is what she recommended), and a black onesie that says “I ❤ Metal,” because he’s pretty sure Mai can pull it off.  

“Let’s skip work and just go now,” Kuroo says, when they’ve wrestled their way onto the train and paid extra fare for the stupid, giant horse. (“ _Unicorn,_ Sawamura,” Kuroo corrected him, butting him with the unicorn’s spiral horn. “What do you think this is? A misplaced dick?”)

Daichi does not agree to this, but he’ll admit that he wishes they could. A lot. He’s looking forward to seeing the baby, of course, but there’s also (mostly, almost entirely) Suga. And maybe it’s crazy because he just met him, and he still barely knows him, and they’re only one sort-of date into their relationship, but Daichi really can’t wait to see him again.

He leans against the unicorn between him and Kuroo, watching the city pass by outside the window as his thoughts stray over and over to brown eyes, and long, slim fingers curled in the front of his sweatshirt.

For reasons completely unrelated to his issues with getting laundry done in a timely manner, it may be quite a while, possibly an indefinite amount of time, before he ever washes that shirt.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sobs* I really wanted to get to everyone meeting Mai in this chapter, but it got so long (totally Kuroo's fault) and I needed to break it up. I promise there is a whole lot of DaiSuga interaction in Chapter 6!
> 
> Also a little note just to say...I realize that in reality they would not be texting in English, so _Daicho_ is just something we have to suspend our disbelief and go with. The thing is...I fairly frequently type Daicho by accident when I'm writing. It's become something of a pet name for him, and I simply could not resist making it part of this story. Maybe this will become my thing? He was saddled with "Saucy" in _The Chronicles of the Virgin Asahi_ , now he's Daicho...what else can I do to this man's name? ( ˙꒳˙ )


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I hope you've all had a good week, and I hope you're ready for a long chapter! I basically lost all control of my word count once Mai was born ╮(︶▽︶)╭

Kuroo meets Daichi at the station when they get off work that evening, the unicorn blessedly absent, because Daichi finally managed to convince him that Suga will have absolutely nowhere to put it in the hospital. (And he refuses to let Kuroo pay for a stuffed animal to ride a train more than once.)

“I took a picture of it,” Kuroo says as they near the hospital.

“Good idea.”

“Kozume-kun hasn't texted back.”

Daichi thinks for a moment, so he can come up with a reasonable explanation for this. “He missed class, so he's probably sick. I bet he's sleeping.”

“Yeah,” Kuroo says. He sounds a little morose.

Thankfully they're soon at the hospital, and a receptionist directs them towards the nursery where she says they'll find Suga. ( _“The sweet boy with the ponytail? He’s been drifting outside the nursery all day. I think he's afraid his little girl will disappear if he's not there.”)_

This strikes Daichi as painfully endearing, and it strikes him even harder when they reach the nursery and see Suga through the window. Mai is in his arms, her tiny head under his chin, and he’s swaying gently, mouthing words that Daichi can't hear.

Kuroo knocks softly on the window and Suga looks up, smiling and then coming towards the door.

“Hey,” he says, when he steps into the hallway. Daichi doesn't understand how he can be holding the baby so naturally after less than a day’s experience. His hair is pulled back in a messy knot, soft strands framing his cheeks, and he looks tired and peaceful. The same way he did when Daichi first saw him, with the music so loud it made it hard to think.

“Hi,” Daichi says, tearing his eyes away from Suga to look down at Mai. Kuroo is already staring at her, while absentmindedly tugging at the edge of Daichi's jacket. A subdued version of his typical inability to handle excitement. Daichi doesn't have the same overwhelming reaction to babies that his friend does, but he's not immune to how tiny and beautiful Mai is, or how nice this whole image is, with Suga’s perfect hands holding her to his chest.

“Holy fu—” Kuroo begins, and then he cuts himself off. “ _Sorry,_ holy _cow,_ she's incredible! Good job, Suga-san!”

Suga laughs and Mai’s head moves slightly, the curve of her little cheek pressing into Suga’s collarbone.

“How’s the day been?” Daichi asks.

“ _Good,”_ Suga says. “Weird. It still feels a little surreal.”

Daichi knows what he means—everything about the last few days feels a little surreal to him. Suga appearing out of the blue, finding out that he's a celebrity, finding out that he's a father. Finding out that he likes Daichi, too.

He nods, and bends to see Mai’s face better. Her long dark lashes and button nose. She really is incredible, and Daichi thinks Suga has every reason in the world to be completely distracted from anything they shared the night before. The idea of asking him to go for dinner seems ridiculous right now, when Suga has this to focus on.

“Can I…totally cool if not, but could I hold her, for a second?” Kuroo asks. “I’m not sick or anything, I promise.”

Suga smiles and agrees, supporting Mai’s neck carefully as he settles her in Kuroo’s waiting arms. The baby starts to cry immediately, tiny fingers curling, and eyes screwing up in displeasure.

“Oh no…no no no,” Kuroo says. “Does she hate me?”

“Of course not,” Suga laughs. “Do you want me to take her back?”

“ _Yes, God,”_ Kuroo says, inclining his body towards Suga to make the exchange easier. “I don’t want to make her sad!”

“She’s not sad,” Suga says. “She’s…I don’t know what she is. She has one way to communicate any problem she has. She’s probably hungry though. They eat, like, constantly.”

“So she’s Kuroo,” Daichi says.

Kuroo flicks Daichi’s ear, and Suga smiles.

“I should probably…”

“Yeah, we won’t keep you,” Daichi says. “We just—I wanted—”

“I’ve needed to piss since like ten blocks ago, so I’m just gonna…” Kuroo nods down the hallway, “before we go.”

“Okay,” Suga says. “You don’t have to leave, though, I just need to grab a bottle.”

“I’m good with whatever Daichi wants to do,” Kuroo says. “Just…”

“Go,” Daichi says. He’s not sure if Kuroo actually has to use the bathroom. He does have a notoriously small bladder, but Daichi suspects he’s just giving them a little time.

“Just a second?” Suga says, nodding towards the nursery door.

“Yeah, of course.”

Suga shoulders the door open and gets a little bottle of formula out of a cupboard along the wall nearest the door, then comes back out to Daichi after attaching a nipple to the top. He directs him towards a little sitting area that Daichi and Kuroo passed on their way in. Mai is crying again, loudly, but Suga doesn’t seem bothered by it. Maybe all that excessively loud music has prepared him for this.

They sit down next to each other, and as soon as Suga has Mai adjusted in his arms, the nipple of the bottle next to her lips, the baby makes a little hiccuping sound and latches on, her cries replaced by surprisingly aggressive sucking sounds.

“ _Geez,”_ Daichi says.

“I know. She doesn’t mess around.”

They sit quietly for a minute, watching Mai. Daichi is acutely aware of Suga’s knee just a hair away from touching his own.

“So…how do you feel?” Daichi asks.

“I don’t even know. I feel really lucky. I feel like leaving this hospital is gonna be terrifying.”

“I brought your headphones,” Daichi says, because he remembers just how calm Suga looked with music surrounding him, and he thinks that might be the best thing he can give him right now.

“You’re an angel,” Suga says. “Thank you.”

Daichi blushes and wants to refute this, but Suga bumps their knees together and leaves his there, and Daichi just focuses on breathing.

“Are you, um…can I see you? Tomorrow?”

“In passing?” Suga asks. His eyes are bright, and Daichi has never seen such a heart-melting smile. He has no idea what Mai’s mother looks like, but he feels like Suga has all the good genes this kid will ever need.

“I…no, I meant—”

“I know what you meant, Daichi-san,” Suga says, the soft curve of his lips making the honorific feel like something significant instead of formal. “Do you want to try again though?”

Daichi’s ears are burning. He loves the way those dancing eyes get to him, the way Suga’s teasing feels like heat curling in his stomach.

“I want to have dinner with you tomorrow. But I understand if you need space, or just want to focus on Mai-chan, I just…”

“I’d love to have dinner with you,” Suga says. “I don’t want to leave the hospital though.”

“I don’t care where we are.”

“Are you always this adaptable, Daichi?”

Daichi shrugs. He’s never had a terribly hard time shifting with circumstances, but this doesn’t feel like adapting, it’s just instinct. The person matters, not the place. “I can be here any time after five.”

“Six then,” Suga says. “My treat this time.”

“Okay. I don’t see how you can top fast food in a laundry room though.”

“Just watch me.”

Daichi grins, and he does watch him. He studies the curve of his fingers around Mai’s bottle, the lean muscle in his supporting arm, the strong, narrow wrist. They talk quietly while Mai finishes her bottle, and then with seemingly no transition she goes from drinking to sleeping, and Suga relaxes into his seat, lowering his elbow so the armrest can support it.

Kuroo returns, after a suspiciously long amount of time (Daichi loves him a lot sometimes). He sits down with them and practically bends in half to lean closer to Mai, making whispered exclamations over how cute she is, which Daichi echoes with less adjectives, but just as much sincerity. He watches the way her expressions shift as she sleeps, the tiniest fingers uncurling briefly, and then clenching into little fists again while dreams move through her head. Kuroo stares right along with him, until he remembers the mammoth/unicorn, and pulls out his phone to show Suga pictures, and Daichi gets the headphones out of his bag so he won't forget to leave them here. Asahi shows up not long after that, and becomes a fourth pair of wonder-filled eyes as he joins their quiet circle, all of them talking about their days in hushed tones, with their faces always turned towards the baby.

“Sugawara-san,” a voice says, some time later. They look up to see a husky nurse peering down at them. She looks stern, no nonsense, and Daichi immediately feels like he’s done something wrong, even though he’s sure it can’t be the end of visiting hours.

“Shimada-san,” Suga says. “Is it eight o’clock already?”

“Fifteen minutes past it,” the nurse replies. The words are clipped, but there’s a rough warmth to them, and Daichi notes the indulgence in her eyes as she looks at Suga and Mai. “You should go home.”

“I’d like to stay close, but I’ll go to the waiting room,” Suga says. “If she needs anything—”

“Visiting hours begin again at noon tomorrow,” Shimada says.

“Of course,” Suga says politely, and Daichi finally notices that something has changed just slightly in Suga’s face. His eyes are wider, his smile like the one that Daichi saw on his laptop. A few minutes ago he was Suga, and now, seamlessly, he’s Hikaru’s sweetheart. “I apologize for staying too late. May I put her to bed?”

Shimada huffs, and agrees. As they walk back to the nursery, Daichi hears her say something about Mai’s next feeding, and Suga making himself useful if he insists on remaining at the hospital.

It’s hard to say goodbye to Suga, when they’re all in the waiting room. It’s mostly empty, and very drafty, and all Daichi can think about is Suga stretching out over these hard seats, sleeping for a couple uneasy hours before he gets up again to be with Mai. Daichi wants to stay and keep Suga warm. He wants to wake him gently, and then hold him again when he’s ready to rest some more.

“We can stay,” he says, and Asahi echoes him. Kuroo nods, even though Daichi has seen him anxiously checking his phone, and knows he’s still hoping he might see Kozume tonight.

“No,” Suga says. “Go home and be comfortable. I’d feel terrible subjecting anyone else to a night here.”

Daichi feels terrible that Suga will be sleeping here all week, with these bright lights and sporadic bursts of noise and voices, but Suga just smiles at them and laughs at their reticence to leave. He thanks them for coming, for their perfect gifts ( _“See?”_ Kuroo says proudly, to which Daichi counters that Suga doesn’t understand how big it is yet), and their company, and then starts to physically herd them towards the exit.

“You _could_ sleep at home, Suga,” Asahi tries once more.

“I can sleep anywhere,” Suga says. “Go. I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay…” Asahi says, sounding resigned. He hugs Suga and turns to leave, with Kuroo beside him. Daichi knows he needs to go, too, but last night he held Suga’s hand, and he really wants to do it again.

“Dai?” Kuroo calls over his shoulder.

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec,” Daichi says, feeling more awkward by the moment, because he should just follow his friends, but determined to power through it so he can have another minute alone with Suga.

Kuroo shrugs, says something quietly to Asahi, and they both keep walking, leaving Daichi to turn back to the waiting room where Suga is watching him with those knowing eyes.

“Are you worried I’ll be lonely, Daichi?” he asks.

Daichi shakes his head, taking the last steps he needs to be right in front of Suga. “I know you’re okay. I just…”

Suga laces their fingers together, and Daichi knows he doesn’t need to explain himself. He holds Suga’s hand tight, and thinks about kissing him again. He doesn’t get farther than looking at Suga’s lips, and blushing when they twitch up in response. Suga’s cheeks are pink, too, his hair so soft when Daichi brushes it out of his eyes.

“Asahi told me to be good to you,” Daichi tells him.

“Did he?” Suga asks, breathing out a little laugh. “Did he apologize right after that?”

“He apologized all the way through.”

Suga laughs fully this time. It sounds like music. “The most non-threatening protector.”

“He’s a good friend,” Daichi says.

“He's the best,” Suga agrees. “And what about you? Did you promise to be a good boy?”

He lets go of Daichi’s hand, tucking his fingertips just inside the front pocket of his jeans, inviting him closer. Daichi really, really likes the way Suga puts his hands in his clothes.

“I…did not make that specific promise,” he says, letting his fingers graze over the soft rise of Suga’s cheekbone before touching his hair again, even though it’s not really in his eyes anymore.

“Hmm,” Suga says, a warm hum in his throat. Daichi has no idea how he can look this sexy after a night spent on hospital chairs, and a day spent learning to care for a crying infant. “Should I be worried then?”

Daichi shakes his head slowly, and takes Suga’s free hand. He’s beginning to think he’s developing a _thing_ for Suga’s hands, but it may just be Suga as a whole.

“I’ll be good to you,” he says, even though he knows Suga is teasing. He also knows Suga was afraid of starting this, probably still is, and while Daichi can’t promise everything will work out, he can make sure Suga knows he’s serious about giving it his best.

“So noble,” Suga says. His eyes are still teasing, but his cheeks are pinker than before, his smile sweet. Similar to, but not quite the same as, his pop idol smile. It's lovely, and almost shy. “Were you a scout leader, too?”

Daichi _was_ a scout leader. He takes Suga’s other hand, rather than affirm this. He thinks about kissing him for a third time. This isn’t where he wants to do it, under the fluorescent lights and the eyes of the receptionist, but he doesn’t mind at all when Suga leans in and presses soft lips to the edge of his jaw.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Suga says once he’s stepped back, both of his hands still in Daichi’s.

Daichi nods. His mouth is very dry.

When Suga grins it _is_ a lot like his pop idol smile, wide and charming, but there’s something different about this, too. Maybe just because he’s right in front of Daichi and not on a computer screen, but it seems like more than that. It seems so genuinely happy.

“Yes? I’ll see you tomorrow?” he says again.

Daichi smiles, too. Lifts one of Suga’s hands to his lips, and opens it with his own so he can kiss the center of his palm.

“Yes,” he says, relieved that his voice sounds steady, despite how hot his face feels. He’s never kissed someone’s hand before, he’s pretty sure he’s never felt remotely inclined to. “You’ll see me tomorrow.”

Suga is still smiling, and God, his lips are perfect, and Daichi isn’t sure how it is that he manages to let go of Suga’s hands, or say goodnight to him, or walk away. When he looks back just before he pushes open the door, because of course he has to look back, Suga is sitting on one of the waiting room chairs with his feet up on the seat. Knees bent to his chest, just settling his big headphones over his ears. He looks small and unfairly cute, and his eyes are on Daichi.

Daichi, clearly, has a hard time keeping his eyes off of Suga, and it feels very nice to know Suga’s are following him, too.

The air is crisp when he steps outside, probably more so because he’s unreasonably warm after being so close to Suga. Asahi is waiting for him on a bench, curiously alone.

“Where’s Kuroo?” Daichi asks him.

“The guy he likes in your biology class texted him? I didn’t really know what was happening, he just hugged me really hard and took off running. When did they even exchange numbers?”

“They, uh...hang on,” Daichi says, because he’s glanced at his phone and now sees there are unread messages from Kuroo.

 **Kuroo** : sdlkfjkldjgkldfjglk  
**Kuroo** : he texted we’re meeting on camous  
**Kuroo** : capmpsu  
**Kuroo** : omg CAMPIS ARE YOU FCKING KIDDING ME  
**Kuroo** : we’re meeting at school im freaking out i don;t think theres enough air on this train

 **Daichi** : dude...are you still alive?

 **Kuroo** : yeah! Im almost on campus now  
**Kuroo** : hey look at that i can type  
**Kuroo** : how’d it go with suga?

 **Daichi** : really good...i’m gonna fill asahi in on your kozume situation  
**Daichi** : good luck man!!

 **Kuroo** : THANK YOU

The next bus has arrived and Daichi follows Asahi onto it, updating him on the Kozume developments, and then spending the rest of the ride talking about Mai, and what else they can do to have the apartment ready for her and Suga when they come home.

“There’s just those crappy blinds in their room,” Asahi muses. “Maybe curtains? So it’s not so bright in the morning?”

Daichi adds this to the list he’s making on his phone.

“Hey,” he says, when they’ve run out of ideas and are nearing home. “Did you know about the baby? Like, before Suga got here?” He’s been wondering this, if Suga coming to live with Asahi had always been the plan.

Asahi shakes his head. “He usually visits when he’s nearby with the band, I thought that’s all it was.”

“Huh…you’re really a pretty awesome guy, Azumane,” Daichi says.

Asahi makes a sound in his throat, and Daichi can see him clenching his hands between his knees. “What? I…I’m _not.”_

“You just offered up your place to him, with zero notice,” Daichi points out.

“Of course I did,” Asahi says, as if there wasn’t any other option.

“Exactly,” Daichi says. “Stop looking so uncomfortable, I’m just glad Suga has you, okay?”

“Okay,” Asahi says. His standard response to just about anything he doesn’t want to talk about.

Daichi grins and considers pressing this more, but he settles on just poking Asahi’s flushed cheek. “Marshmallow,” he says.

“Shut up.”

“Food,” Daichi says suddenly, having been reminded of something else they need. “Stuff that’s easy and healthy, so Suga doesn’t have to spend a bunch of time standing around in the kitchen.”

“I can cook,” Asahi says.

“And yet...you order pizza three times a week.”

Asahi’s cheeks go a shade darker. “I’m such an idiot,” he says.

“No you’re not, you’re just shit at flirting. Just ask for his number already so he knows you want him, and you can go back to only eating pizza when you actually want it.”

“It _is_ good pizza,” Asahi says.

“Yeah,” Daichi agrees, even though this is in no way the point. “It is.”

He thinks he’s made Asahi more than uncomfortable enough by now, so he lets it go and discusses innocuous things with him until they reach their stop, and as they walk to their apartments.

They say goodnight in the hall outside their doors, and Daichi changes into sweats and a t-shirt before dropping onto the couch and flipping the television on. It’s too early to go to bed, but he’s tired after his restless night, and he only makes it about ten minutes into the show that was playing before he’s out.

He blinks slowly when he wakes to a different show on the screen, unsure of how much time has passed. After reaching out blindly for his phone and finally making contact with it where it’s fallen on the floor, he rolls onto his side and turns it on. It’s one in the morning, and Kuroo has left him an unholy number of messages.

 **Kuroo** : yo! Guess where i am!  
**Kuroo** : i don’t have time for you to guess hes just in the bathroom  
**Kuroo** : im in his dorm room!!!  
**Kuroo** : we met in the student lounge and he’s not sick there was just this video game hes been waiting for that came out today so he skipped class to play it  
**Kuroo** : and dude  
**Kuroo** : he asked why i would volunteer to bring the notes to him and i FUCKING TOLD HIM  
**Kuroo** : i said i think he’s cute af and ive been wanting to ask him out all semester and have been TRYING TO GET HIS ATTENTION HOW HAS HE NOT NOTICED  
**Kuroo** : and do you know what he said???  
**Kuroo** : he said  
**Kuroo** : “oh......i thought you and that serious guy were together.”  
**Kuroo** : that’s you, Daichi. You are the “serious guy”..how do ya like that?  
**Kuroo** : but fucking fuck! this entire time he thought we were dating!! That’s twice in one day bro..how strongly are we giving off this vibe?  
**Kuroo** : oh i gotta go we’re gonna play this game and daichi he has cats i don’t think youre even supposed to have cats in the dorms but they’re so cute i’m gonna die  
**Kuroo** : i’m never coming home

 **Daichi** : really? the serious guy? that’s what i get?  
**Daichi** : we are talking more about this couple vibe later, but i’m really happy for you man, have fun

Kuroo doesn’t text back immediately, so Daichi assumes he’s still immersed in the video game, or maybe the cats. He considers getting up and going to his room, but that would require…getting up.

 **Daichi** : i’m going back to sleep...come in quietly if you ever choose to return

 **Kuroo** : a piece of my heart will stay with the cats, but i’m heading home soon...i do have to work tomorrow -___-

 **Daichi** : k. you’re not drunk or anything right? i don’t have to worry about you walking into a manhole or something?

 **Kuroo** : ???  
**Kuroo** : no, dadchi...i’m not drunk. and why the hell would you ever worry about that? how many open manholes do you see when you’re walking around?  
**Kuroo** : oh my god wait...this is perfect. all your dad instincts are coming out because of Baby Mai aren’t they?

 **Daichi** : mai is the only mai that we know...and i’m aware that she’s a baby. does her name really have to be Baby Mai?

 **Kuroo** : her name IS Baby Mai, sawamura....i’m not sure why this is even a discussion?

 **Daichi** : goodnight kuroo

 **Kuroo** : goodnight XD  
**Kuroo** : but also  
**Kuroo** : can we get a cat?

 **Daichi** : no

 **Kuroo** : we’ll talk about it later then

 **Daichi** : no

 **Kuroo** : you’re taking this dad thing a little far  
**Kuroo** : if i ask why and you say “because i said so” we’re adding this to our list of things we need to talk about

 **Daichi** : you’re obnoxious

 **Kuroo** : and YOU are worried about me falling in a random coverless manhole soooo…

 **Daichi** : >:/

 **Kuroo** : lol...goodnight daichi...ty for caring about me

 **Daichi** : yeah yeah...goodnight  
**Daichi** : don’t wake me up

Kuroo doesn’t intentionally wake him up, but he’s loud and clumsy, and it occurs to Daichi, as he’s falling asleep for the third time, that this is Suga’s life now. He’s probably gotten up just as many times as Daichi already, and when he and Mai are home they’ll be right on the other side of his wall, so maybe this is Daichi’s life now, too.

The thought makes him fall asleep with a smile.

* * *

The rest of Friday night, and most of Saturday, are a blur to Suga. A hazy series of alternating between not being fully asleep or awake. He’s exhausted, but happy. One of the nurses brings him a pillow at some point, which is definitely more comfortable than just resting his head on his arm. And there are very bright spots, in the form of Mai sleeping against his chest while he walks around the hospital with her, and her tiny fingers curling around one of his while he feeds her.

And there are messages from Asahi, making sure he’s taking care of himself, and from Daichi, telling him about Kuroo and Kozume and cats. There’s also a flood of messages and calls from every member of Hikaru, and vehement promises to come and see him as soon as they can get back to Tokyo.

 **Tooru** : i’m appalled by how cute she is, kou-chan  
**Tooru** : possibly? cuter? than me?

 **Suga** : has higher praise ever been issued?

 **Tooru** : it has not  
**Tooru** : i miss yooou...it’s so weird without you  
**Tooru** : they’re already talking about bringing in a new guy too, which is utter bullshit  
**Tooru** : both because there is no replacing you, and also because if anyone could, shouldn’t it be me??

 **Suga** : alksdjfklj  
**Suga** : you have my vote  
**Suga** : and i miss you too, all of you. but if you don’t tell anyone, especially you

 **Tooru** : (⌒▽⌒)☆  
**Tooru** : just come back. bring cutie-chan..we could make it work

 **Suga** : i know, but i don’t want to just make this work, i want to give it everything

 **Tooru** : *heavy sigh* i hate thinking of you alone and Not Here, where you’re supposed to be

Suga is holding Mai, cradled and asleep in his arm while he talks to Tooru, and he smiles at this last message.

 **Suga** : i really think i’m supposed to be right here. and i love you and miss you, but i’m not alone here. I have asahi...and.....these really amazing neighbors

 **Tooru** : (`ー´)  
**Tooru** : more amazing than me?

 **Suga** : deflate your head a little so you can listen to this tooru...i’m serious. they’re good friends with asahi, and they’re adorable and kind and totally supportive of me and mai moving in  
**Suga** : and i’m having dinner with one of them tonight :O

 **Tooru** : WHAAAAT  
**Tooru** : what is this??? How the FUCK have you not told me this yet?/?

 **Suga** : you guys were traveling, and then i was slightly busy with my child coming into the world  
**Suga** : his name is daichi and he’s gorgeous and sweet and i didn’t want to start something with anyone but...here we are

 **Tooru** : sugawara koushi he better be an absolute fucking gem. He’d better be a GOD  
**Tooru** : i don’t think i approve of this  
**Tooru** : iwa-chan says he doesn’t either  
**Tooru** : I did not say that...this is hajime. I think that’s great koushi

 **Suga** : thank you hajime :)  
**Suga** : tooru relax...if you’re going to be intensely disapproving i won’t let you meet him :P

 **Tooru** : i’m being protective :|

 **Suga** : Asahi has already given him The Talk, if that helps

 **Tooru** : well done, beard-kun. I suppose it helps a little  
**Tooru** : ugh kou i need to go. kato-san says he can’t do my makeup when i’m typing so aggressively

 **Suga** : lol...okay, i hope the show goes well <3

 **Tooru** : ( ; ω ; ) i’m never forgiving you for leaving us  
**Tooru** : iwa-chan says i’m a terrible person but i’m NOT i just love you

 **Suga** : i love you too, even the terrible parts ~_^  
**Suga** : talk soon!

 **Tooru** : okaaaay <3333

Suga sighs, and sets his phone down. He really does miss Tooru, truly more than anyone, but he misses all the rest of them, too. All of Koutarou's and Tadashi's heart, and Hajime's and Keiji's quiet steadiness. Kei’s dedication, and Tobio’s earnestness. He loves every one of them, and he loved throwing himself into the routines and the recording and the interviews, but he doesn’t like to do things halfway, and there’s no room for partial efforts in that world anyway.

He looks down at Mai, with her cheek rosy and damp against his arm, and he can’t believe that he’s not doing the right thing. This is the last place he’d ever want to not give all of himself. The last thing he’d want to push to the sidelines. He won’t do that to her. He won’t give her his childhood.

“Mai-chan,” he says, running his thumb over her downy hair. It’s thickest at the top of her head, like a small, subdued faux hawk. “What do you think, so far? You’ve been here for almost thirty-six hours now. Am I doing okay?”

Mai scrunches up her nose in her sleep and her lips twitch a little. It could almost be a smile. Or pity, but Suga will take the first possibility.

“I know it’s kind of awful and big and bright here, but we’ll go home soon. We have a nice little place with your Uncle Asahi. It’s clean, and warm, and we can stay there as long as we want to.”

This is a novelty to Suga. He’s shared a room with Tooru and some of the other boys for years, but they moved a number of times, and spent more time in hotel rooms than at home. The idea of just staying in one place—a place he _wants_ to be, not like his aunt’s house—is like a dancing flame that he’s drawn to, bright and a little magical.

He picks his phone back up and sends a message to Asahi, because he wouldn’t feel a fraction as safe and optimistic as he does at this moment if it weren’t for his friend.

 **Suga** : have i told you lately that i love you?

 **Asahi** : you have :(  
**Asahi** : oops! That was supposed to be happy!

 **Suga** : lol  
**Suga** : well now you’ve broken my heart

 **Asahi** : :p  
**Asahi** : how’s it going? Isn’t it almost time for your date?

 **Suga** : it is :D but i have no way of making myself not look like shit, so i’m just sitting here with Mai..hoping she’ll wake up soon so I can feed her before Daichi gets here  
**Suga** : maybe she’ll spit up on me a little so i can smell like that, as well as general filth

 **Asahi** : oh my god  
**Asahi** : i don’t know if i should feel worse for you or daichi right now

 **Suga** : bahaha...ty asahi

 **Asahi** : i don’t think daichi will care though..tbh. I also don’t think he’ll mind waiting if you need to feed Mai

 **Suga** : no...he probably won’t. and i don’t even have to be the one to feed her  
**Suga** : i’m just....being obsessive

 **Asahi** : i could come if you want? i could just hang out with Mai, so she’s still with family

 **Suga** : you don’t need to do that, but oh my god asahi...you are very literally the sweetest

 **Asahi** : Daichi calls me a marshmallow :/

 **Suga** : alkdjflidrigj...does he?  
**Suga** : that’s adorable  
**Suga** : shit i really should try to not be disgusting when he gets here. i think i possibly want to sabotage this a little before it really becomes something >_<

 **Asahi** : do you really?

 **Suga** : i don’t know. no. i feel like I *should* so i can avoid complicating all of our lives if things go badly...but i don’t want to

 **Asahi** : suga...i think you should do what you want to do, not what you feel like you should. I know you feel like leaving hikaru was best for you and Mai, and I get that, but raising her doesn’t mean that you don’t matter anymore  
**Asahi** : I think you can be a good dad and take time for other things that make you happy too  
**Asahi** : hikaru is probably too much right now...but Daichi isn’t a demanding career, he’s just a guy next door

 **Suga** : have you always been so wise, asahi-san?

 **Asahi** : suga i’m serious

 **Suga** : i know you are! you’re right...i think you’re right  
**Suga** : i just really didn’t expect this

 **Asahi** : well...you didn’t expect Mai either, but...look at her :)

 **Suga** : :) okay...you have made very good points asahi. thank you, really.  
**Suga** : i’m going to get Mai back to the nursery...i’ll talk to you later <33

 **Asahi** : have a good night <3

Suga gets to his feet carefully, but Mai stirs as soon as he moves, and starts to cry. Quickly ramping up into something loud and desperate that makes him get a tiny flare of panic inside his chest, even though he’s looking right at her and knows that she’s okay.

“Hey,” he says, leaning down to kiss the side of her head. “What is it? Are you hungry? Wet? Having an existential crisis?”

Mai ignores him and continues to wail as they make their way to the nursery. He starts by changing her diaper, and then gets out one of the premade bottles of formula and settles down in a gliding chair to feed her.

She is not interested in being fed. She cries and gasps and wiggles, flailing her limbs erratically. It would almost be funny, if it weren’t his own child, and if he didn’t know he needs to calm her somehow so she can eat.

“Mai-chaaan,” he sing-songs, getting back to his feet and holding her to himself with her back to his chest. The intensity of her outrage decreases by a few notches. “Ah,” he says. “So you don’t want to see me. That’s fine…I won’t take it personally.”

He starts to bounce gently on the balls of his feet, then bends his knees to dip low and rise back up in rhythmic intervals. She’s still crying, but they’re making headway, so he continues to dance her gently around the little open area in the nursery, singing an old Hikaru song. Bouncy, and sweet, and a little silly.

“I remember that one,” a voice says.

Suga turns to face the doorway, and Daichi is there. He’s clean shaven—handsome and fresh in jeans and a cream colored sweater—and he’s watching Suga with warm, dark eyes, like he’s seeing something other than dishevelment and dark circles.

“It was our first single,” Suga says.

“Yeah, they played it about fifty times a day for months.”

Suga feels like he's sung it about that many times, too, but he still likes it. It’s all tied together with the excitement of that time, when he was free from his cousins and their jibes and jabs, getting to know the other boys. Watching all of their time spent training and rehearsing come together into something tangible.

Mai makes a disgruntled sound, and Suga realizes he has still not fed her, has not looked in a mirror, and Daichi is here.

“Are you early?” he asks.

“A little,” Daichi says. “I’m sorry, I can—”

“No, it’s okay,” Suga says. “I just meant to be ready when you got here. Do you mind waiting a bit, so I can feed Mai and run to the bathroom?”

“Not at all. Can I help?”

“Um…I mean if you’re comfortable feeding her, I could go clean up a bit, but—”

“Sure,” Daichi says, coming into the nursery. “Show me how.”

Suga does not understand this man. He’s so shy sometimes, but here he is, with his lovely deep voice that just exudes confidence and capability, reaching for the bottle that Suga set on the counter, as if this is just an ordinary way to begin a date.

“Should I sit?” Daichi asks.

Suga nods, helping Daichi arrange his arms, and settling Mai into them. She looks up at Daichi and immediately starts to cry again. Suga is pretty sure infants have an extremely limited range of vision, but he imagines she knows the difference between the arms that have been holding her since she was born, and this sturdy new set supporting her now.

“You can bounce her a little, or talk to her. It’s hard to feed her if she’s too worked up.”

Daichi nods, and moves his arms awkwardly but gently, using his legs to slowly glide the chair back and forth at the same time. Suga is momentarily very distracted by strong thigh muscles shifting under taut denim.

“Mai-chan,” Daichi says. “I need you to work with me, okay? You want to eat, and I want to feed you, so that makes us a team.”

Suga giggles and crouches beside the chair. “Please keep going with this,” he says. “I want to see you sway her with logic and reason.”

“Mai-chan has a good head on her shoulders, don’t you, Baby Mai? She’ll analyze all the factors at play, and conquer her two day old emotions to come to a sensible decision.”

“Baby Mai?” Suga asks, still laughing. He doesn’t have to raise his voice much, because Mai has already quieted a little.

“Kuroo christened her. Sorry.”

“I don’t mind it. She’s calm enough now, you can…here…” Suga hands him the bottle, and then guides him with his fingers around Daichi’s, helping him get the right angle and encourage Mai to take it into her mouth. “There you go. Just make sure you keep adjusting it so she’s not sucking in air, and afterwards you can sit her up and pat her back in case she needs to burp.”

Daichi looks up at him with mild concern. “Like…how hard do I pat?”

“I don’t know. Hard enough to be useful, not hard enough to hurt.”

This is the best explanation Suga can come up with, but Daichi looks very unimpressed with the specificity of his advice.

“I can do it when I get back,” Suga offers. “I don’t even have to go, I just—”

“No, go, I’ll be fine,” Daichi says, tilting his chin towards the door.

Mai is drinking hungrily and blissfully, with Daichi’s arms strong and steady around her, so Suga nods and grabs his backpack from where he’s stashed it behind the chair.

“Okay, I’ll be right back!”

Daichi nods, his eyes on Mai’s bottle, adjusting the angle just slightly. Suga doesn’t let his gaze linger too long, because he’s not sure he's ready for this, this perfect image of broad shoulders and careful hands. Of someone who might be good for him, and good for Mai, too.

In the restroom he strips off his sweater and the t-shirt underneath it, and replaces them with a clean shirt, soft and loose, with grey and white stripes. He washes his face in the sink, takes the elastic out of his hair, and studies his reflection. There’s very little he can do to improve the situation without taking an actual shower, which he will need to do soon. He settles on brushing out the tangles and making a fresh little ponytail, leaving his long bangs free to hopefully go a little way towards hiding how tired he looks.

Once he’s brushed his teeth, he gets his things back together and returns to the nursery, lingering outside the door when he sees that Mai has finished her bottle, and Daichi is holding her upright against his chest.

“Maybe,” he’s saying, rubbing his hand in slow circles over her back, “you just don’t need to burp because of my expert bottle handling, what do you think?”

Suga smiles and stays where he is.

“I’ll admit, it’s possible my burping skills are pretty substandard, but here’s the thing, Mai-chan…I’ve never held a baby before, not even my cousin’s kids, and you are _really_ small.”

Suga puts down roots. He will not interrupt this.

“Like…incredibly small. My hand is literally as big as your entire torso, so I think you can see why I’m hesitating here. But what _I’m_ thinking…is that your stomach must be about the size of a walnut, so if there _is_ any gas in there, it’s gonna come out whether I manage to burp you properly or not, right? I mean where else is it gonna go?”

There’s no stopping the little laugh that comes out in a soft huff of breath, and Daichi startles, his eyes finding Suga in the doorway.

“Hey,” he says. His cheeks are flushed, but he smiles at Suga warmly, patting Mai’s back absentmindedly and totally ineffectively.

“Hi,” Suga says, staying right where he is. He’s in no hurry to put a stop to this, although Mai really should be burped properly soon.

“You look nice,” Daichi tells him.

Suga’s instinct is to question this, or argue it, because he doesn’t feel as if he looks very nice at all, but he knows by the way Daichi’s looking at him that the other boy means what he’s said, and that somehow he believes it. So instead he smiles and steps into the nursery, stooping to run his fingers lightly over Mai’s soft hair.

“So do you,” Suga says. “I meant to tell you when you came in.” He doesn’t add that Daichi looks particularly nice at this very moment, with Suga’s daughter held so carefully in his hands.

Daichi smiles, and Suga doesn't think his own smile has left his face since he reached the nursery.

“Do you want to go eat? Or stay here with Mai?” Daichi asks.

“If you keep doing what you're doing, she'll probably be out in less than a minute,” Suga says. “Then we can put her down and have dinner.”

“Oh,” Daichi says, tilting his head back so he can look down at Mai’s face where her cheek rests just below his collarbone. “Will she always sleep this much?”

“Probably not,” Suga says, leaning into Daichi so he can pat Mai’s back, gentle and firm. “According to the nurses they sleep like crazy for the first week, and then it all goes to hell.”

Daichi laughs, but Suga can see that his eyes are on Suga’s hand, watching closely so he'll know how it's meant to be done. Suga is far from an expert, but he does manage to coax a soft burp from the baby, and her eyes flutter closed again.

“She likes you,” Suga says.

“I think she just likes eating, and then clearly has an irrepressible need to sleep.”

“She likes you,” Suga says again. “I think you can put her down now, though.”

Daichi gets to his feet slowly, and Suga shows him which cot is Mai’s, then watches him bend over it so Mai is held against him until she's deposited safely on her back. She stirs momentarily, but doesn't cry. Suga feels a little bit like he may. Daichi is too cute, so sweet and determined to be a good helper with Mai, and Suga is struck with the urge to ask where he came from again, because boys like Daichi are not a dime a dozen.

“Ready?” Daichi asks quietly.

Suga nods, leans over to kiss Mai’s forehead, and then holds his hand out to Daichi. “Let’s go.”

The cafeteria is busy and noisy, with so many families visiting people for the weekend, so they don’t talk much while they fill their trays with miso, rice, and chicken. They look around for a place to sit, but there’s nothing even close to private. Suga keeps walking past the crowded tables, and Daichi follows him, right out of the cafeteria.

“Do you have a plan?” Daichi asks.

Suga smiles at him and raises his eyebrows. He actually has no plan whatsoever, he just wants to have a little peace, some space only filled by himself and Daichi. They walk up two flights of stairs and find a quiet, unoccupied hallway, then sit down side by side against the wall, their dinner trays on their laps.

“Well,” Daichi says.

“Told you I’d top the laundry room.”

Daichi snorts. “No seating, and the light scent of antiseptic.”

“I’m not sure this chicken is even chicken,” Suga adds.

Daichi holds up his little plastic container of milk and raises it towards Suga. “To our second date,” he says.

Their bottles make a muted thud when they tap them together, and Suga laughs. “So we’re counting the first one?”

“Of course,” Daichi says, twisting his cap off, and then peeling off the foil that lines the opening. “Dinner, hand holding, perfect company? What else would we categorize it as?”

“Laundry,” Suga says with a smirk. He can’t maintain it though, because Daichi has just finished his child-sized milk in what appeared to be one swallow, the air _does_ smell like antiseptic, their dinner looks truly awful, and all he can do is smile.

Daichi smiles right back at him. There’s a bit of milk caught just above his upper lip, and Suga brushes it away lightly with the pad of his thumb.

“It _was_ good company,” Suga says.

Daichi clears his throat, falsely and loudly.

“Need some more milk?” Suga asks, even though he knows exactly what Daichi wants him to say.

“I _do_ need more milk, actually.”

“Have mine.” Suga shifts his little bottle to Daichi’s tray. “And obviously I meant perfect.”

Daichi’s smiling face is so cute, Suga can’t even look at him. He just bumps Daichi’s shoulder with his own and picks up his chopsticks, starting with the rice, since it seems least likely to have something wrong with it.

“What the…” Daichi says, when he follows suit and takes his first bite.

Suga spits his mouthful into his napkin as discreetly as possible. “They, like…didn’t cook it?”

“I can’t tell if it also tastes like antiseptic? Or if the smell has just pervaded all my senses?”

“Oh God,” Suga says. “Daichi, stop saying antiseptic, it’s all I can taste now.”

“Because it _tastes_ _like_ _antiseptic.”_

The chicken is not better. The miso is cold by the time they attempt it.

“What have you even been eating?” Daichi asks, stacking their bowls together and pushing everything to the other side of the hallway.

“Breakfast and lunch aren’t that bad! I’m so sorry…this is way worse than I thought it would be.”

“It doesn’t matter, but you _do_ need to eat.”

“We should have just gone out, I’m sorry,” Suga apologizes again. “I don’t…I know I’m being unreasonable. I just don’t want to go.”

“Suga, it’s okay, it’s fine,” Daichi says, moving to kneel in front of him. “Your baby is here, of course you don’t want to go.”

Suga opens his mouth to argue again, filled with a need to make Daichi understand that he’s being a terrible date. He hasn’t showered, and they have nothing to eat, and it’s all because he refuses to leave a hospital that he doesn’t even have a room in.

All he manages to get out is, “But—” and then Daichi’s finger is pressed to his mouth.

“Nope,” he says. “It’s okay. And I have an idea.”

Suga lets go of his arguments, and feels himself smiling against Daichi’s finger. There’s nothing else he can do when Daichi is in front of him, all certainty and bright eyes. “Does it involve getting the hell out of this hallway?” he asks. “Does it smell _stronger_ now?”

“We are getting the hell out of this hallway,” Daichi confirms. He gets to his feet, and offers Suga his hand. After collecting their trays, they walk back towards the cafeteria together, Daichi explaining his idea as they go.

“You stay here, I’ll run out and get a replacement dinner from the closest place I can find, and then we’ll give this another go.”

“Daichi, no. You've already had to wait for me to get ready and feed Mai. I'm not sending you out alone to get food that I was supposed to provide.”

“ _You_ are supposed to be here for Mai, and that's what you're going to do. And _while_ you're doing that, you're going to talk to me on the phone, so we'll still be having a date while we’re apart.”

“That's ridiculous,” Suga says, but actually it’s adorable. He wants to hug Daichi, but the other boy’s hands are full, so he settles for punching his shoulder lightly.

“I haven't even given you all the details on Kuroo and cat-boy yet,” Daichi says, pausing to set their trays in the receptacle at the edge of the cafeteria. “The time will fly by.”

Suga shakes his head, but he can't keep the smile off of his face, and the time does fly by. He sits in the little area by the nursery where they all visited the night before—legs folded under him on the seat and his phone pressed to his ear—and they talk. Daichi’s voice is so nice over the phone. A steady, deep hum, enough like music that Suga finds himself losing the words and just drifting along with the sound.

“Suga?”

“Hmm?” Suga says, sitting up a little straighter when he realizes how much he has leaned to the side of his seat.

“Is spicy okay?”

“Spicy?”

“Oh my God. How much have I bored you?”

“You haven’t!” Suga says, adjusting his grip on his phone so he can hold it more firmly. “I’m sorry! I was…actually no, you know what? This is entirely your fault. Do you know how soothing your voice is?”

“I…my voice? No?” Daichi says, sounding baffled and flustered and very, very cute. “Wait, should I be apologizing then?”

“Yes, obviously.”

“My sincerest apologies, Sugawara-san. I need to know if you like spicy ramen.”

“ _Oh,_ yes! Blisteringly spicy, if at all possible.”

“That sounds horrible?”

“So good,” Suga counters.

Daichi mumbles something that Suga can’t quite make out (though he thinks he catches the word _crazy),_ and then his voice becomes distant and muffled as he puts in their order.

“Where were we?” Suga asks, when Daichi’s voice is clear again.

“You were sleeping while I was talking to you, and it was all my fault.”

“Ah,” Suga says, “right.”

Daichi laughs, low and warm, echoing a little over the line, and they fall back into a conversation that lasts until Daichi rounds the corner and comes toward him. One hand holds his phone, the other a paper bag, and his cheeks are pink, like he was walking quickly to get back to Suga.

“Hey,” he says, his voice coming to Suga both through the phone, and through the space between them.

Suga smiles and hangs up his phone. Their replacement dinner is still warm, and wonderfully flavorful and filling, and Daichi is so unbearably cute when he tries Suga’s meal, eyes welling up and face burning with color at the spiciness.

He coughs and sputters until Suga drags him back to the cafeteria to get more milk, and somehow this date at the hospital, with all of its tiny disasters, is exactly what Suga needed. The laughter over simple, stupid things; the ease with which Daichi accepts this all as normal; and then, finally, the quiet moment when they say goodnight outside the nursery. The little thrill that dances over his skin when Daichi leans into him, and the comfort of a broad palm pressed to the small of his back.

“I give it a ten out of ten,” Daichi says softly. His dark eyelashes are wet, face still rosy from his run-in with a level of seasoning he wasn't prepared for. “Date number two, I mean.”

“A perfect score, huh?” Suga says. “Is that all it takes? Bad food and fluorescent lighting?”

Daichi laughs and draws Suga a little closer, his gaze falling to his lips before moving back to his eyes. “I guess I’m easy,” he says, and then blushes a little deeper. He doesn’t look away, and Suga _knew_ this would be what got him. This earnestness, this perfect blending of shy and bold.

It’s what makes him move forward when Daichi hesitates, what makes him close his eyes even as he catches Daichi’s widening. It’s honest, and pure, and it leaves no room for worries. It chases away the question of how ready either of them are for this, or what any of it means when Mai is part of their equation, and leaves him with only the flare of excitement that comes from strong hands tightening around his waist, warm lips parting when he presses his own to them.

He can taste the sweet tang of Daichi’s meal, and the spice of his own, and something underneath that's just…Daichi. It’s that last flavor that makes him feel breathless even though their kiss is slow and careful. That has him moving closer still, cupping the back of Daichi’s neck, and running his fingers up into his hair.

Daichi inhales suddenly, breaking their kiss, but holding Suga’s hips tight against his own. “Suga…”

“Sorry?” Suga says. “I—”

“No,” Daichi says. “I just…I’ve been thinking about this so much, and…and—”

“Would you…like to think about it some more?” Suga asks, because he can’t help himself. Daichi is so precious, and Suga  _knows_ that he’s been thinking about it. He so badly wants to keep doing it, but he also really likes this. The way Daichi seems so overcome, and the way he’s holding Suga so close and letting him see the way one small kiss has affected him.

“No,” Daichi says. “I mean, not that I won’t think about this, but I don’t—I just needed to catch up, I’m…I _don’t_ need to think about it.”

In the back of his mind, Suga tries to document everything about this moment, so that he’ll always remember how soft their first kiss made this solid, broad shouldered man. And perhaps so that he can tease him about it in the future, just a little bit. Outwardly, he controls himself and only smiles, loosely curling his free hand in the front of Daichi’s sweater. “So, we should…”

“Yes,” Daichi says, bringing one hand up to rest between Suga’s shoulder blades as he finds his lips again, kissing him with a slow, tender purpose that Suga doesn’t think he’s ever experienced before. He doesn’t, in fact, ever remember being kissed like this. Or _kissed_ at all, for that matter. He’s always been the one in charge, the one who initiates. The one who gently, or not so gently, guides.

But now Daichi is backing him against the wall, cupping his face between his hands and tipping it up. When he deepens the kiss, just enough that Suga feels the slick, heated glide of Daichi’s tongue against his lower lip, Suga thinks again about all the ways Daichi could surprise him. Because Suga doesn’t need to take the lead now—Daichi already knows exactly how to kiss him.  

“Shit,” Suga breathes, when Daichi has pulled back to press a kiss to the corner of his lips. “Daichi…” Suga’s heavy eyes flutter open and he sees Daichi watching him, swollen lips parted, and a bright hopefulness in eyes that are still wet with tears. “What…are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” Daichi says, blinking and seeming to register the dampness clinging to his lashes. “Oh, I…it’s just the hot sauce again. Your mouth is…really hot.”

“Oh my God,” Suga says, reaching to carefully brush his thumbs under Daichi’s eyes. “You kissed me even though I was burning you?”

Daichi smiles and dips his head to kiss Suga again, fitting their lips together and holding them there until Suga can feel the heat growing between them like a little flame. When he leans back his eyes are tearing up all over again, and Suga doesn’t know whether to laugh or scold him.

“ _Daichi—”_

“I’m fine. It’s w—”

“If you say it’s worth it, I’ll punch you,” Suga says. “You’re not allowed to say such sappy things. It’s too cute.”

“It’s…not _not_ worth it,” Daichi says with a little smirk, boyish and outrageously adorable.

“I hate you,” Suga says.

Daichi nods, squeezing Suga’s shoulders, and then sliding his hands down the length of his arms to interlace their fingers. “Can I bring you lunch tomorrow?”

“If you let me pay for it, yes.”

“Can I kiss you at the beginning of date number three, just so you’ll know I _can_ kiss without crying?”

“For that reason alone?” Suga asks.

Daichi shakes his head and kisses him one more time. Not deep, but soft and lingering in a way that makes Suga feel a little wonderfully unsteady.

“Recent events being taken into account, I think we need to amend the rating. Eleven out of ten, at least,” Suga says. It’s terribly cheesy, but it’s true, and Daichi deserves to know it.

He doesn’t say anything, just nods his head once, eyes and lips smiling, and tightens his hands around Suga’s.

Daichi is _not_ just a guy next door, but his fingers are sturdy and warm, his heart is as open as his face, and Suga does not want to sabotage this at all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! ❤


	7. Chapter 7

**Kuroo:** bro?  
**Kuroo:** are you really still sleeping?  
**Kuroo:** i wanna hear about your date  
**Kuroo:** and the baby  
**Kuroo:** and also i need advice  
**Kuroo:** if i have to get up and knock on your door i’m just gonna come in..just so you know

 **Daichi:** oh my god...i’m tired, what?  
**Daichi:** and what do you mean still sleeping? It’s not even 9 and it’s fucking sunday

 **Kuroo:** hey there!  
**Kuroo:** yes well i’ve been awake since 6 because, as i said, i need advice  
**Kuroo:** and you’re supposed to want to hear about my date too

 **Daichi:** was it a date? I thought you were just playing video games again

 **Kuroo:** okay so yes, that is what i would like to talk to you about

 **Daichi:** you told him you liked him didn’t you?

 **Kuroo:** yes, sawamura, i did.

 **Daichi:** ah  
**Daichi:** okay fine but just come in here so i can half sleep while you talk

 **Kuroo:** that means a lot to me thanks (눈_눈)

 **Daichi:** or you can try again in an hour

 **Kuroo:** maybe i’ll just go talk to asahi who is kind and supportive

 **Daichi:** go for it. You can have some pizza and discuss your hopelessness

 **Kuroo:** fuck you, my friend. fuck you.

Daichi smiles and tosses his phone on the bed. He can already hear Kuroo on the move, so he pulls a pillow over his head to lessen the volume of his voice a little once he arrives.

“Tell me you took pictures of Baby Mai,” Kuroo says, as soon as he’s dropped down heavily next to Daichi.

Daichi shakes his head under his pillow.

“Useless,” Kuroo says. “Date was good, though?”

There’s no way Daichi is removing the pillow now. He grips it with both hands and presses it tight over his face, entirely muffling his, “Yes.”

“I can’t hear you, dumbass…get that—” Kuroo tugs at the pillow, but Daichi doesn’t let it budge. “Sawamura, get that pillow off your face.”

Daichi tries to kick him, but Kuroo evades him and elbows him in the stomach in doing so, yanking the pillow away when Daichi automatically curls over and loses his grip.

“You piece of shit.”

“You started it, and you—woah… _someone_ got kissed last night.”

“Wha—how do you know that?” Daichi asks, sitting up and grabbing the pillow back so he can whack Kuroo in the face with it.

“Your lips are swollen! Like, Christ, was he chewing on them?”

“Oh my God,” Daichi says, unconsciously bringing his fingers to his mouth. “No, you idiot. We did kiss, but this is from dinner. His was super spicy, and when we kissed it like…” He waves his hand.

“Wait, wait…so what you’re saying is that it was— _literally_ —a hot date?” Kuroo fills in.

“Stop enjoying this so much.”

Kuroo does not stop, but he does give Daichi his pillow back, so he tucks it behind his head and stretches out on his back again. He closes his eyes so he can imagine he’s alone, and Kuroo can’t see the way his still tender lips can’t seem to stop smiling.

“I can’t believe you kissed already,” Kuroo is saying. “Goddamn, you look so happy I’m gonna kill you.”

Daichi is _really_ happy. Every moment of last night, from Mai falling asleep in his arms at the start, to Suga fitting their lips together at the end, was so much, so good. “I might die anyway,” he says.

“I hate you.”

“What happened with Kozume?”

Daichi hears Kuroo’s long, heavy exhalation, and then feels him slump down next to him again.

“So…I told him I have a thing for him, on Friday night.”

“Right.”

“And he didn’t…say he had a thing for me too, I guess. But he didn’t say he _didn’t._ He just handed me a controller and sat down right beside me. Like, _right_ beside me, so I thought…I mean he doesn’t seem repulsed by me, at least.”

“Okay…” Daichi opens his eyes and turns to face Kuroo. His friend is on his back with both arms up in the air, fingers laced together like he’s stretching, but he’s just staring at his hands. “So, what’s wrong?”

“Well, he didn’t _say_ anything! Not Friday night or last night, so now I don’t know if he’s just like, ‘I’m fine with you liking me but it’s meaningless to me,’ or…was last night a date? A really chill date in which I got more action from his cats than from him?”

Daichi blinks. “How much action did you get from his cats?”

“One of them licked my fingers for like ten minutes straight. I’m not gonna lie, it was good.”

“Oh…my God?”

“Not, like, sexually. Just like—”

“Yeah, I know, I know. You’re weird, cats are gods to you, I get it. But Kuroo, if it was a date, it was like…your first one, right? So how much action were you expecting?”

Kuroo rolls onto his stomach, mashing his face into Daichi’s pillow. “That’s not what I meant. I wasn’t expecting anything, I just…I wanna know if he maybe likes me.”

“He invited you over, and spent the night sitting close to you while doing what seems to be his favorite activity, so…that seems like a good start. Maybe just chill a little, and enjoy hanging out with him?”

“Says the guy who’s making out with the single dad he met less than a week ago.”

Daichi flicks Kuroo’s ear, and Kuroo bats at his hand without looking up, like an overgrown cat.

“I fed Mai a bottle last night,” Daichi tells him.

Kuroo immediately rolls onto his side to face him, wide eyed, and clearly torn between being annoyed with Daichi, and questioning him about each moment of the experience. “I hate you even more now, but that’s…Suga trusted you to do it?”

Daichi nods. “He went to clean up after he showed me what to do, and she was just…God, she’s so, so tiny and cute, and I was afraid she’d cry after but she just let me hold her. She fell asleep.”

“Oh my fucking God.”

“Kuroo…” Daichi says slowly, because now that he’s seeing it all again in his head—the way Suga came back in and sat close to them, leaning into Daichi and stroking Mai’s back—seeing it the way it would have looked to someone on the outside, like they were a little family, and not like Daichi is actually a clueless college kid who just walked into Suga’s life and didn’t want to leave, he feels…

“What? Where’d you just go?”

Daichi blinks, and then meets Kuroo’s eyes. He’s sitting up now, arms wrapped around one of his knees, and Kuroo is mirroring him. “Is this a bad idea?” he asks. “Like…not for me, but for them? They’re a _family,_ and I’m…”

“Nope,” Kuroo says, “stop.”

“But—”

“No. Listen. Are you getting weird about this because you think it might be too much for you?”

“ _No,_ but—”

“So this is because you’re worried you’re not good enough.”

“I—”

“And you are, actually, so don’t even.”

Daichi’s mouth is still open from his first three attempts at arguing, and Kuroo puts his hand over it.  

“You know you’re trustworthy. So let Suga trust you. Be there for him like you want to be.”

Daichi breathes deeply through his nose, resisting the urge to push Kuroo’s hand away, because he _will_ keep arguing if he does, and he doesn’t even know where all this is coming from. It just feels so _huge,_ that Suga has let him in this way. So huge, but somehow also like the smallest, most delicate thing. A tiny bird cradled in the palm of his hands that he does not want to hurt.

Kuroo just keeps watching him steadily, waiting until Daichi nods to lower his hand.

“We’re not supposed to freak out at the same time,” he says. “I had to go straight from losing my mind over Kozume, to being reasonable and mature for you. I almost got whiplash.”

“I don’t know what happened,” Daichi says.

“You jumped headfirst into something really big, man,” Kuroo says. “But that doesn't mean you can't do it. You’re okay.”

“Yeah,” Daichi says, nodding his head. He is, he knows that. Sometimes it’s nice to have someone else confirm it, though. “Thanks.”

“No problem. You ready for breakfast?”

“Sure. You want to talk about Kozume some more?”

“Yes please,” Kuroo says.

Daichi goes into the bathroom first, splashing cool water on his face, and then studying his reflection in the mirror. His lips really are a little swollen still. He runs his tongue over them and thinks about seeing Suga again for lunch, thinks about kissing him again. It’s different now, thinking about it after having actually done it. Now it’s not pure imagination, it’s memory. He knows how Suga’s breath feels on his cheek, how his fingers feel trailing up his neck and weaving into his hair, and the way his lips taste when they part around the tip of Daichi's tongue.

He smiles at that thought, wondering what it will be like when Suga hasn’t just eaten tremendously spicy ramen. It was good, kissing him like that, but it’s kind of exciting knowing that next time it will just be the taste of Suga on his lips.  

“Dai!” Kuroo calls through the door. “We have two eggs left, and they both have my name on them if you don’t get your ass out here soon.”

Daichi takes his time, because in actuality Kuroo is more likely to save both eggs for him than eat them himself. And it’s nice, once they’re both sitting on the couch with their breakfast bowls resting on their knees, because it’s so very normal. Everything with Suga is so brand new, and he’s really good with that, but it’s good to have Kuroo here beside him, too, rambling about cats, and flicking the hair out of his eyes like he’s been doing since the first day Daichi met him.

“I’m picking up lunch for Suga later,” Daichi says. He should stop himself there, but he’s feeling sentimental and he lets himself keep going. “You want to come?”

Kuroo’s eyes are so fucking bright when he turns to him. “To…the hospital?”

Daichi nods.

“Where Baby Mai is?”

“Yes, Kuroo,” Daichi says. “Unless Baby Mai has decided to go sightseeing, she should be there.”

“But your date…”

“It can be a group date. We’ll bring Asahi, too.”

“So we _are_ dating. Sawamura, why didn’t you tell me—”

Daichi smacks the side of Kuroo’s head, but it doesn’t knock the smile off his face. “Not funny,” he says.

“It mostly is,” Kuroo says. “Except in the case of Kozume-kun believing it.”

Daichi groans and gets to his feet. “We need to spend less time together.”

“Right…we’ll work on that after I get to visit the baby.”

Daichi waves a hand in the air dismissively, because obviously neither of them are going to work on that at all, and excuses himself to text Suga. There are already a few messages waiting from him when he sits down on his bed with his phone.

 **Suga:** guess who got to shower todaaaay  
**Suga:** one of the nurses took pity on me and let me borrow a room for half an hour  
**Suga:** please pretend you don’t know that I was gross and unshowered last night

 **Daichi:** i knew you were unshowered, but you were definitely not gross  
**Daichi:** in fact i think i’ve already made my stance on your lack of grossness embarrassingly clear?

 **Suga:** good morning daichi :)

 **Daichi:** good morning :) how are you? How’s Mai-chan?

 **Suga:** she’s sleepy and adorable...i am one of those two things

 **Daichi:** adorable, obviously

 **Suga:** flatterer

 **Daichi:** i gotta butter you up...because i kind of invited kuroo to come to the hospital with me  
**Daichi:** he was having kozume woes and he’s so excited about your baby and it just happened

 **Suga:** omg  
**Suga:** how is he having kozume woes already??  
**Suga:** (also of course he can come!)

 **Daichi:** i was looking forward to kissing you again  
**Daichi:** but instead you will be getting the answers to any and all kozume questions you could possibly have

 **Suga:** Lol...honestly that sounds pretty fun XD  
**Suga:** And you’re still going to kiss me, so you’re welcome to continue looking forward to that

 **Daichi:** oh i am?

 **Suga:** most definitely  
**Suga:** i thought you had something to prove?

 **Daichi:** right. my lips are still burning though so..

 **Suga:** oh my god...daichi i honestly feel horrible

 **Daichi:** don’t  
**Daichi:** it was a very memorable first kiss

 **Suga:** it was  
**Suga:** you were so so cute  
**Suga:** it may be good that Kuroo is coming along, or I might be tempted to make you cry all over again

 **Daichi:** wow

 **Suga:** too much?

 **Daichi:** no  
**Daichi:** yes, but no. you shouldn’t be allowed to affect me this much

 **Suga:** (o^ ^o)  
**Suga:** i need to go daichi...i’ll see you soon!

 **Daichi:** k, we’ll be there around 1...probably with Asahi too if he’s free

 **Suga:** perfect!

Daichi touches his lips again, and thinks that no matter how many people are there, it will absolutely be perfect.

There’s just a moment though, when they all arrive at the hospital, in which he wishes everyone else could just disappear.

Suga is there in the waiting room, his hair shiny and soft, hanging loose around his face. He’s wearing the same sweater as the first time Daichi saw him, and Daichi’s mind undergoes a small explosion of mental images—that sweater lifted up while Suga was stretched out on the floor, his eyes fluttering closed before he kissed Daichi last night, his lips, and his skin, and that text message about making Daichi cry—and Kuroo has to jab him in the ribs before he realizes he’s stopped walking, and is now just staring at Suga like a psychopath. As he normally is.

“Bro…”

“Shut up,” Daichi says. Kuroo has zero room to talk after the Kozume Chronicles of the past semester.

Thankfully Suga is distracted, being wrapped up in a gentle bear hug by Asahi, and Daichi feels as if he’s outwardly composed himself by the time Asahi has stepped back.

“Hey,” he says.

Suga smiles at him, and his composure immediately evaporates.

“Perfect timing,” Suga says. “Mai just fell asleep.”

(Kuroo looks distinctly disappointed, and Daichi pats his shoulder.)

They take their lunch to the cafeteria, chatting about Mai, and the nurses that are slowly adopting her and Suga both. And then about Kozume, though Kuroo is quieter than he would usually be, so Daichi knows he’s still feeling insecure about it all.

“Kozume thought Kuroo and I were dating,” Daichi tells Suga, to take the focus away from Kuroo’s uncertainty, and put it on something lighter. Albeit slightly more uncomfortable for himself.

“Well…I did, too,” Suga says. “Asahi swore he’s never heard you banging, though, so—”

Asahi accidently sends rice flying across the table, his chopsticks clattering to the floor. “Suga! I did _not—”_

“Oh my God,” Kuroo says, cutting him off and grinning widely. “Azumane Asahi, have you been _listening_ to us?”

“ _No!_ I—”

“Those may not have been his exact words,” Suga clarifies, patting Asahi’s arm. “It was the gist, though.”

“Why does everyone think this?” Daichi asks, tossing Asahi an extra pair of chopsticks that his friend completely ignores. “When we were shopping for Mai-chan, the guy at the store…he thought… _what?”_

Suga looks so goddamn delighted that Daichi is afraid to keep going, lest his smile actually eclipse his face.

“You shopped for Mai together?” he asks, in a very carefully calm, but slightly high-pitched voice.

“Yes…?”

Suga keeps his lips pressed together and shakes his head. He’s such a brat, and he’s so cute it almost makes Daichi’s stomach hurt.

“I _don’t_ listen to you,” Asahi says, as if this conversation about Kuroo and Daichi’s vibe of couplehood isn’t even taking place.

Kuroo shrugs and flaps a hand in Asahi’s direction. “It’s fine, Asahi. We listen to you, too. Just waiting for you to invite pizza-boy in and—”

Daichi kicks Kuroo hard under the table, then watches him register the way Asahi’s face has gone entirely pale.

“And…” Kuroo continues. “…and have a deep and meaningful conversation with him. From opposite sides of the room. It’s all we really want for you, man.”

“I’m moving out,” Asahi says decisively.

Suga has bent his head down to where his arms are crossed over the table, his face hidden in his bent elbow, and his shoulders shaking.

“He was kidding, Asahi,” Daichi says. Even though he wasn’t, really, because they can’t _help_ hearing Asahi, and speculating over what he’s up to. “We don’t listen to you on purpose.”

Asahi just stares back at him, wide-eyed. “That doesn’t make it better!”

A muffled squeak rises up from Suga, and Daichi can’t even look at him because if he does he’ll be gone too, and poor Asahi will probably self destruct.  

“Did _you_ think we were dating?” he asks. “Before you determined that…we weren’t?”

“N-no!” Asahi sputters, but he looks a fraction less distressed at the subject change. “I don’t know! I thought you might be, at first, but then Kuroo was always talking about Kozume, and you’re both so mean to each other all the time…which is _confusing_ because I didn’t know if it was flirting or _—_ ”

“That’s it,” Daichi says. “Kuroo, our friendship is at an end.”

“Yeah, right,” Kuroo says. “You love me too much.”

“Dude, you can’t just say things like that in public. This is _why_ people think we’re gay.”

“We _are_ gay,” Kuroo says loudly.

Suga seems to be hyperventilating now, and Asahi’s face is in his hands. Daichi makes an executive decision and starts packing their things up.

“We’re going to see Mai-chan," he says sternly, getting to his feet. "No one’s allowed to talk anymore.”

Everyone obediently cleans up and leaves the table (Asahi so quickly that he almost falls over his seat, and Kuroo with an amused smirk), then files toward the cafeteria’s entrance after their trash has all been tossed out.

“Hey,” Suga says, catching the back of Daichi’s shirt once they step into the lobby. His cheeks are pink when Daichi turns to face him, his eyes bright and still smiling. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

“Yeah, of course,” Daichi says, glancing over at Asahi and Kuroo. “Do you guys—”

“I gotta piss, so…” Kuroo jerks a thumb towards the nearest restrooms. “You wanna come, Asahi? I promise I won’t listen to you.”

All of the color floods back into Asahi’s face, but he elbows Kuroo as he ducks his head down and falls into step beside him, leaving Daichi and Suga lingering by the cafeteria.

“Hi,” Daichi says, reaching out to brush his thumb over Suga’s palm before taking his hand.

“Hi. I just…I really wanted to say thank you, for last night.”

Daichi shakes his head a little, confused. “You don’t need to thank me.”

“Daichi…” Suga says. “You’re very strange, did you know that?”

“Um…”

“Come here,” Suga says, pulling him away from the lobby, towards a little seating area around the corner. They sit down facing each other on chairs that are just large cubes without backs, knees touching, and fingers still woven together. “I don’t want it to go unsaid, how much I appreciate you being…you.”

“Because I’m very strange,” Daichi says.

Suga smiles and nods his head. “Yes. Because of that. Because you want to date me, even though dating me means…” He raises his free hand, gesturing at the space around them. There’s a wall of windows in front of them, looking out onto a narrow, empty courtyard, with another wing of the hospital on the other side.

“You’re not going to be here forever.”

“No, but I’m going to be a dad forever.”

“I know,” Daichi says, closing both of his hands around Suga’s. “Suga, I don’t want you to think I’m taking that lightly. I’ve thought about it a lot, and I just—”

“No,” Suga says. “I know you’re not, that’s why I…” He trails off, head tipping down and silvery hair falling over his eyes.

“Suga?” Daichi asks, when a minute goes by without Suga saying anything else. He touches the bottom of his chin softly, not forcing him to lift his face, just wanting to be close to him.

Suga raises his eyes and there’s a crooked smile on his lips now. A little like when they were talking in the laundry room, right before his eyes filled with tears.

“I'm really overwhelmed right now,” he says. “And I miss the guys, and I'm just…I'm scared? I think I’m really scared.”

Daichi’s throat feels so thick suddenly. He doesn’t know why it is that it pulls at him so hard, seeing Suga vulnerable like this. He _knows_ this softness is here, but there’s also so much strength, so much of that unnameable composure, that it still surprises him hearing the waver in Suga’s voice. And at the same time, it makes his heart swell up with what feels like pride, because Suga’s hands are still steady in his, and he’s brave enough to just put his feelings out there.

“Suga,” he says again, but Suga shakes his head.

“But then there's _you,”_ he says. “And Kuroo and Asahi, and I'm…getting to laugh with you guys, and knowing I get to go home to all of you…”

“Suga, we can slow down if you want to,” Daichi tells him. “We don't have to…I'll be here to laugh with you either way, if trying to date right now feels like too much. I meant it, about being patient.”

“No. I _do_ want to take it slow, but I don't want to stop. I don't…I don’t want to stop kissing you,” Suga adds, with a little smile that splits Daichi in two.

He bites his lip, trying to think of the right words to give to Suga. “I’m…a little overwhelmed, too,” he says finally. “But I like it.”

What he means is he likes _Suga,_ but the other boy already knows that. He’s already leaning closer as Daichi takes his chin between his finger and thumb, letting Daichi tilt his face up so he can kiss him.

It’s softer than their first kiss, neither one of them pressing hard. Just a little brush of parted lips. Once, twice, and then pausing just on the cusp of coming together a third time so they can breathe each other in. So Daichi can lick his own lips and taste Suga on them, before he captures a full lower lip between his own.

Suga tastes like teriyaki this time, but that fades, the more kisses they trade. The longer Daichi gently sucks and nibbles on his lips, leaving them just as swollen as Daichi’s were the night before, and tasting like _him._ Sweet and soft and warm.

This time, when they pull apart, Daichi's eyes are dry and Suga’s are wet. It would almost be funny, except everything’s so quiet right now, and Suga is so beautiful.

“Ignore that,” Suga says, when Daichi cups his face. “I’ve cried more in the past week than I have in the past five years.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Daichi says, leaning in to kiss the beauty mark at the corner of Suga's eye, and coming away with salt on his lips. “No tears here.”

Suga smiles and shakes his head. “Stop it,” he says. “I can’t handle your cuteness right now, and if Asahi notices I was crying he’ll worry about me.”

“There’s a 99.9% chance Asahi is already worried right now.”

“Do you really call him a marshmallow?” Suga asks.

“ _…lovingly,”_ Daichi says.

Suga grins as he gets to his feet, tugging on Daichi’s hands to pull him up, too. “Let’s go find Uncle Marshmallow and Catman.”

“Oh my God,” Daichi says, following Suga down the corridor back to the lobby. “Do I have a terrible nickname, too?”

“Daicho,” Suga says, without the slightest hesitation. “Obviously.”

Daichi abruptly stops walking, and the smile Suga bestows upon him in response is so brilliant, he almost forgets what they were talking about.

“You brought it on yourself,” Suga says.

He did. And he doesn’t care.

Maybe he’s crazy (he probably is, on some level, at least according to Kuroo), but with Suga taking his hand again, falling perfectly into step with him, Daichi thinks he’d do anything at all to keep seeing that smile.

* * *

Suga wonders, as he watches Asahi rocking Mai so carefully you’d think she was made of spun glass, and Kuroo reaching out to tickle the bottoms of her bare feet, if there was ever a moment like this in his own history. If there was a time when, having done nothing at all but enter the world, he was surrounded by love and acceptance.

He doesn’t think so, but it doesn’t make him sad now. This is why instead of being with Hikaru, he is here, on his last day at the hospital, ready to take his one week old daughter home with him. Because his childhood was not in his control, but hers is, and it makes him so, so happy to see what he can give her.

He’s folding up her clothes and stacking them in his bag, while Daichi alternates between helping him pack, and drifting back over to Mai any time Asahi and Kuroo start laughing or cooing over her expressions. She’s become much more alert over the past couple days, spending longer periods with wide brown eyes open, and a rapt audience ready to be amazed by her every time she blinks.

“Oh my God,” Kuroo’s saying. “Did you see that?”

“Yes, careful, careful,” Asahi says, taking a step back. “You almost bumped her.”

“Sorry!” Kuroo says, even though Suga does not need to have witnessed it to be sure that Mai was not actually in any danger of being bumped.

All of the boys have been here almost every day, but Asahi only held her for the first time yesterday, and Kuroo still refuses to do it out of fear that he’ll make her cry again.

Daichi, though, who is currently fitting Mai’s fallen sock back onto her foot, has held her each time he’s visited, talking to her quietly like she understands every word he says. _“I’m sorry I was late tonight, Mai-chan. Did you know that even if your backpack tragically splits open while you’re running to catch the train, the train will not, in fact, wait for you? This is one of those things I hate for you to know, but…”_

Daichi always tells him he can go stretch his legs or close his eyes, but Suga can’t stay away for long. Not because he doesn’t trust Daichi with Mai, but because it’s one of the best parts of his day, seeing the way Daichi looks a little more comfortable with the baby in his arms every time. Listening to the low hum of his voice as he rocks her slowly, and tells her silly little things that always make Suga laugh.

In some ways, this week has been so terribly long. He wants to be away from the bright lights and the constant busyness, the burn of conditioned air and the ridges of hospital chairs digging into his side at night. But it’s been good for for him, too, to have this time. He’s watched the way the nurses handle Mai and the other babies, shadowing Shimada-san when she doesn’t shoo him away, and asking her all the things he can think of. Tapping little notes into his phone about fevers and ideal numbers of wet diapers.

“I see the whole gang is here for discharge day,” Shimada says now, popping her head in and eyeing all of them. She still pretends to be stern, but it isn’t fooling Suga. She hasn’t once asked him why these college boys are always here, or where his parents are, or what the hell he thinks he’s doing trying to be a father when he has to ask her how often he should bathe Mai.

“We had to say goodbye to you, Shimada-san,” Kuroo says, looking over at her with his lips curling into a teasing smile. Kuroo and his lazy charm have gone a long way towards all of the nurses turning blind eyes on visits that extend beyond approved hours. Asahi’s quiet politeness, and Daichi’s boy-next-door smile and honest eyes, haven’t hurt either.

“I don’t know what I’ll do when I’m not tripping over you four every night,” Shimada says. “Or without my daily shadow,” she adds, casting a glance at Suga that is far too warm for the gruffness in her voice to be believable.

Suga smiles at her, tucking the last of his things into his bag. “I don’t know what I would have done without you,” he says honestly, and she scowls and ruffles his hair.

“Take some formula with you,” she says. “Those ones behind you, Kuroo-kun. The…yes,” she nods when Kuroo’s fingers settle on the right bottles. “More than that. Sawamura, you have room in your bag don’t you? Put some diapers in there.”

Daichi straightens Mai’s sock once more and does as he’s told, unzipping his patched up backpack, and stuffing the package of diapers Shimada hands him next to his text books.

“Alright,” she says. “They’re ready for you out at the desk.”

Suga feels his breath catch, his chest tightening uncomfortably. He wants to go home so badly, to have the chance to start really making it his home, but now that the time has come to leave this sterile little bubble and bring Mai into the world…

“Sugawara,” Shimada says, patting his cheek firmly. “You’re going to be just fine. Do I look worried?”

“You never do,” Suga says.

“Because I’m old and wise. Now get your things together, and take your daughter and your troop of hoodlums home.”

Suga bows his head, ignoring the fact that his eyes are wet with tears once again. “Thank you, Shimada-san.”

“Thank you, Shimada-san!” the other boys all chorus after him, Kuroo with a low bow and a cheeky wink that has Shimada fighting to keep her expression as grim as usual.

They go out to the nurses’ desk, Daichi holding Mai while Suga signs the discharge papers, and then all of them working together to get Mai settled in the baby carrier against Suga’s chest.

“Are you sure that’s right?” Asahi asks, after several minutes of quiet arguing and scuffling, while Mai gets progressively more agitated. “I think that strap’s in the wrong place.”

“It’s right,” Kuroo says. “Where else could it go?”

“It’s not right,” Daichi says, reaching for a forgotten strap dangling at Suga’s hip, and smiling reassuringly when their eyes meet. “We’ll get it, though. Everyone just stop. Move.”

Kuroo and Asahi step back; Suga holds still and continues supporting Mai’s weight in his hands, singing to her softly to soothe her; and Daichi somehow manages to block out all of them, and the audience of nurses, as he studies the mechanics of the carrier. He nods after a minute, settles the straps firmly and competently over Suga’s shoulders and across his back, then adjusts the length of the straps, and clips the buckles together.

“How’s that feel?” he asks, taking a step back.

Suga had moved his hands to hold Mai through the stiff fabric of the carrier, but he can tell that she’s being properly supported now, and he reaches inside to make sure her tiny, bent legs are comfortable. “Good!” he says. “I think…I think we’re ready?”

Asahi has the bags, Daichi is holding the folder of documents the nurses put together for Suga, and Kuroo…Kuroo is vibrating slightly. They’re all ready to take Mai home.

It’s strange, when they get there, to feel so good about returning to a place he’s barely lived in, but Suga is seeing it already as what it _will_ be. The cozy set of rooms where all of the first tiny things with Mai will take place.

He’s still expecting his bedroom to look just as he left it, half empty and transitional, but when he follows Asahi and Daichi in, he finds that the new futon has been set up, with the sheets he picked out the day he went shopping with Asahi neatly stretched across it. The dresser must have arrived while he was gone, and it sits along the opposite wall, with little baskets stuffed with diapers, wipes, and soft cloths on top of it. A round baby seat is on the floor, bright new curtains are on the window, and there’s…

“Oh…my God,” Suga says.

The pictures did not do Kuroo’s unicorn justice. It’s like a pastel baby elephant, somehow wedged between the bed and the window, with its head cocked to the side as if it has just been waiting for someone to come along and visit it.

“Kuroo…”

“Do you love it?” Kuroo asks.

Suga does. It’s ridiculous, and horribly impractical, and he absolutely adores it. “It’s _perfect,”_ he says. “I want to go sit on it. Can someone…” he looks over his shoulder, trying to assess the buckle situation so he can free himself from the carrier.

“Here,” Daichi says, resting a hand on the small of Suga’s back to turn him slightly. “You’ve got Mai? I’ll unstrap you.”

Suga holds onto Mai’s little sleeping form while Daichi removes the carrier. He sets her down carefully on the middle of the futon after, and then almost cries at the sight of her there. She’s _so tiny,_ it’s hard to grasp that she is an actual person, and not some enchanted little elfin creature.

“The unicorn is like 150x the size of her,” Daichi says, like he's just read Suga’s mind.

“Suga-san likes it,” Kuroo says proudly. “Right? Do you really?”

“Yes!” Suga says, tearing his eyes away from Mai, and stepping around the bed to examine the unicorn more closely. He reaches out to stroke its fur and actually gasps when he touches it. “Oh! It’s so soft!”

“It’s magic,” Kuroo says.

“It is!” Suga agrees, sitting down on the floor so he can lean back into the unicorn and let its front legs flop down over his chest. “Oh my God, I love her.”

“ _Him,”_ Kuroo says. “I named him Mamoru. He’ll keep you and Baby Mai safe when you’re sleeping.”

“You’re kidding me,” Daichi says.

Suga thinks his reaction is because Mamoru is cotton candy pink with glittering silver threads woven through his mane, and a masculine name meaning “protect” is perhaps not the first one that would come to mind, were someone considering naming an oversized stuffed unicorn.

“That’s…really sweet,” Asahi says as he crouches in front of Suga. He looks like he wouldn’t mind having a Mamoru in his room.

“It’s _really_ sweet!” Daichi echoes him, sounding just a notch below outraged. “I made fun of you so much for this thing! Why didn’t you tell me you had a stupid, thoughtful reason for it?”

“I always have stupid, thoughtful reasons, Sawamura,” Kuroo says. “You should know this by now.”

A bit of shoving takes place between them, Asahi looks like he is actively not asking them to stop, and Suga wonders how long it will take for every little thing to stop making him want to cry. He’s _so_ happy in this little room, with this group of boys that feels so familiar, because living in a group has been his life for so long, but is also entirely unique. They’ve given him a place to live, with curtains he hadn’t even thought to ask for, and a giant, guardian mythical creature.

“You guys,” Suga says. “Thank you. So much.”

Daichi and Kuroo stop poking at each other, and Asahi rubs at the back of his neck. His eyes drift over to Mai, still asleep on the bed, then back to Suga.

“You don’t have to thank us,” he says. “We just want you to feel at home.”

Suga doesn’t have a lot of faith in the steadiness of his voice at the moment, so he just pinches his lip between his teeth and nods his head. Asahi pats Suga’s knee, then gets to his feet, nudging Kuroo and Daichi and quietly suggesting that Suga might like some rest.

“Ah, of course, sorry,” Daichi says.

“No! It’s fine, you don’t have to go.”

“I’m going to get dinner started,” Asahi says. “Or we could…”

“Pizza would be good,” Daichi says, in an impressively innocent voice. “We haven’t had it all week.”

Suga carefully does not smile, just nods his head and agrees that yes, pizza sounds good, and Asahi blushes faintly and says he’ll take care of it.

Kuroo is still standing at the end of the bed, staring at Mai.

“Would you…like to try holding her while she’s sleeping?” Suga asks.

“Oh! Uh…no, no, she might wake up, and then she’ll be traumatized by waking somewhere different than she fell asleep, and—”

“Oh my God,” Daichi says. “Sit down.”

“Wha—”

Daichi pushes Kuroo closer to the bed, and then presses his shoulders down until his long legs fold and he's suddenly sitting.

“Suga?” Daichi says.

Suga takes a moment to compose himself, because this is the second time today that he's watched Daichi take charge, and his reaction to it is a little surprising, though not at all unpleasant. He leans over to slip his hands under Mai and gently settle her into his own arms, before moving to sit next to Kuroo.

“If she wakes up and cries, it’s okay,” he says.

“I don’t want to _—_ ”

“Arms,” Daichi says, poking at Kuroo, and then pulling his arms into a baby-holding position.

“Why are _you_ so good at this?” Kuroo asks, muscles tensing as Suga leans over to deposit Mai in his arms.

“I’m not, I’m just not a pussy,” Daichi says.

“I’m _not_ a pussy,” Kuroo argues, but the words lack heat, because Suga has removed his own hands, Kuroo is holding Mai by himself, and she is not crying. Kuroo’s face is a sunrise. “Oh…my…God.”

Suga looks at Daichi, waiting for him to tease his friend for his awestruck tone, but Daichi is just smiling down at Mai with something that looks like pride. Suga realizes this might actually be directed at Kuroo, which is possibly even better.

 _“Oh my Goooood,”_ Kuroo says again in a whisper.

“Are you breathing?” Daichi asks.

“I don’t need to,” Kuroo says, but then he takes in a slow, deep breath, watching Mai carefully as if the expansion of his lungs might immediately wake and traumatize her. She shifts slightly, her cheek pressing into the furrows of Kuroo’s T-shirt, and Kuroo lets out a little _hah,_ like a gasp that has fallen out of him, instead of being pulled in.

Suga wonders if all twenty year old boys turn into such pure beings in the face of a newborn, or if he’s just been exceptionally lucky in the friends he’s fallen in with.

(He knows that the latter is true, even if the former is as well, which he believes it is probably not.)

He and Daichi start to talk quietly, and Kuroo makes little sounds of acknowledgment occasionally, but seems to be afraid to speak again. They stay just like this, Kuroo’s arms beginning to tremble because he has not moved in the slightest, until Asahi comes back in, slipping his phone into his pocket.

“Pizza will be here in _—_ oh! Kuroo, good job!”

Kuroo beams up at Asahi, as if he has indeed achieved something monumental, which Suga supposes he has. His smile freezes a moment later though, his eyes going wide with panic as Mai stirs in his arms.

“Take her!” he hisses, angling his shoulders towards Suga. “If she sees me she’ll—”

“She’ll get to know you,” Suga says. “And maybe she’ll cry, because she’s a baby.”

Kuroo gives him a pained expression, but he stops leaning towards him like he’s hoping Mai will just fly into Suga’s arms. They all watch silently as Mai scrunches up her face and yawns. She blinks and yawns again. Suga and Daichi exchange glances through which they wordlessly express concern over Kuroo’s oxygen intake, or lack thereof, and then Mai’s eyes stop fluttering and remain open and fixed on Kuroo’s face looking down at her. His black hair is falling into his face, stark against his fair skin, and Suga hears a nurse’s voice in his head saying something about high contrast, and black and white being easiest for infants to see.

“She’s looking at my soul,” Kuroo breathes.

It does appear that way. Mai continues to stare, and Kuroo risks a small smile, which soon devolves into a series of silly faces that Mai has absolutely no reaction to, other than an occasional widening of her eyes.

“When do they start smiling?” Daichi asks. “Like, on purpose.”

They have all witnessed, and been slain by, Mai’s sleep smiles at this point. A perfectly captured one is currently the wallpaper on Suga’s phone.

“Not till two to three months old,” Suga says. “We’ll just have to assume she doesn’t hate us until then.”

“I think she’s decided to tolerate me,” Kuroo says, brushing one finger carefully over Mai’s hair.

“Just like the rest of us,” Daichi says. (Kuroo responds only by raising his middle finger behind Mai’s head.)

“Can I…hold her too?” Asahi asks.

“If Kuroo will relinquish her, absolutely,” Suga says. “I’m going to get something to drink, if you think you’ll survive with me in another room.”

“I can get you something,” Daichi offers.

“Or you can get something with me,” Suga says.

Daichi processes that for a moment, and then nods, but it takes quite a few extra moments to help transfer Mai from Kuroo to Asahi.

“I’ll get her bottle ready too, if you want to try feeding her, Asahi.”

“Um, I…maybe? If you think it’s okay?”

“Are you going to hit her with the bottle?” Suga asks.

Asahi blanches at the thought, and Daichi snorts.

“Think it’ll be okay then,” Suga concludes.

Asahi would probably give him a dirty look if he wasn’t holding Mai, but as it is, he’s sitting cross-legged on the floor, with Mai looking up at him and Kuroo peering over his shoulder, and he’s very easily distracted.

“Let’s go?” Suga says softly. Daichi nods again, resting a hand on Suga’s hip and pressing him towards the bedroom door.

They haven’t managed to be alone since their kiss in the windowed hallway at the hospital, though Daichi has found plenty of opportunities to casually touch Suga, and Suga has found a few to not so casually touch Daichi. It sends a little thrill up Suga’s spine now to have Daichi’s hand on him, and no one watching them.

Once they're out in the kitchen they can still hear Asahi and Kuroo talking softly to Mai, which means their friends can hear them, too.

“I think,” Suga says, “that we’re all going to be bemoaning these thin walls pretty soon.”

“I think Asahi’s been bemoaning them pretty hard since that conversation at the hospital,” Daichi says, and Suga laughs quietly.

“Do you really listen to him?” he asks.

Daichi shrugs. “I mean…he’s right there, it’s not really intentional. I could hear you, before Mai was born. You were singing one night.”

Suga tries to recall this, but can’t bring it to mind. He very much likes the idea of Daichi being so close that he could hear him, though. At least in this capacity, where the memory of it is touching Daichi’s face with a shy smile. It will be different when it’s Mai crying, and Suga fumbling around to get a bottle together.

“Suga?” Daichi says, a hint of concern in his voice. “Is that okay?”

“What?” Suga says. “No, yes, of course, I was just…God, Daichi, I’m worried. Mai wakes up so much, and you can hear _everything_ here.”

Daichi nods his head, looking thoughtful. Suga doesn’t know how he always manages to respond in exactly the way Suga needs him to. He doesn’t want empty assurances that no one will notice the sound of a wailing baby, he wants to deal with reality.

“Yeah,” Daichi says. “But at least the school year’s almost over, so no one’s going to need to be up too early for the next while, and I bet she’ll be sleeping in longer stretches by the time we go back.”

Suga has almost no concept whatsoever of the university’s schedule. He hasn’t been in any kind of school in years, having completed his high school education with private tutors while he trained with the other boys. “When does it end?” he asks.

“In a week,” Daichi says. “Then finals. Did you really need a drink? What do you want?”

Suga blinks at him, before remembering the excuse he’d given to leave the room with Daichi. It was based in truth, but the desire to be alone with Daichi had been much stronger than his actual thirst. “I don’t know, wait. You have finals in a week? Shouldn’t you be studying?”

“I will,” Daichi says, pulling the fridge open. “Water? Tea?”

“Daichi,” Suga says. “I can’t be responsible for all of you failing your finals. Maybe Mai and I should stay in a hotel until you’re finished, and _—_ ”

“What?” Daichi lets the fridge fall closed again. “No, of course not. Suga…it’s not like you’re a natural disaster. We’ll be fine. We can always go to the library if we need to.”

Suga feels a little bit like a natural disaster, currently, in the way his emotions keep sweeping him away, and the way everything before him seems so unpredictable now. “Jesus,” he says, though what he wants to say is that he’s sorry, that he’s all over the place, that he is not at all the boy he used to be. The one he could maybe understand Daichi looking at the way he does. The way he still is, right now.

“Hey,” Daichi says, and then he’s stepping away from the fridge and wrapping his arms around Suga, pulling him into a close hug. “It's okay, you're okay. You _just_ got home, you don’t need to have everything figured out right now.”

“I missed her naming ceremony,” Suga says miserably into Daichi’s shoulder. He’s not sure how they went from finals to this, but something in him relaxes with Daichi so close to him, and when he’s not holding on so tightly, the little knot of worries he’s been clenching in his fist slips free.

Oshichiya Meimeishiki should have been celebrated on Mai’s seventh night, but this is her eighth, and Suga doesn’t even know how to make a proper Meimeisho, the certificate bearing her name that should be displayed in their home now. Suga has never even practiced writing _Mai._

“Barely,” Daichi says. “We can do it tonight instead.”

“My calligraphy is ugly.”

Daichi laughs and strokes Suga’s hair. “It doesn’t matter. We could just print it off the computer. Or Kuroo can do it. Don’t tell him I said this, but his calligraphy’s amazing.”

“Bro?” a voice calls from Suga’s bedroom.

“Oh my God,” Suga says. They literally have no privacy. This should depress him on every level, given that he hopes to both raise a baby and conduct a romantic relationship here, but he can’t help snickering into Daichi’s shirt.

“Not to, like, step on your moment,” Kuroo continues, even though no one has answered him, “but that’s really sweet. And I’ll totally write your Meimeisho for you, Suga.”

“Thanks, man,” Daichi calls back. “Not inappropriate timing at all.”

Suga laughs again, and Daichi just keeps holding him, brushing his nose gently through his hair. “See?” he says. “We’ll figure it all out.”

They will, Suga believes this. And he’s so immeasurably happy that he’s not alone. That Asahi and Kuroo are holding his daughter right now, and Daichi is in front of him, with his easy, honest way of meeting Suga’s concerns, and his big hands firm against Suga’s back

The other boys are right there across the apartment, and Suga knows they’ll hear the dropping off of voices, the catch of breath preceding a kiss, but he does it anyway. Tips his chin up and touches Daichi’s cheek, and kisses him in the middle of the kitchen. Daichi’s fingers curl in the loose fabric of Suga’s sweater, and he makes a low little humming sound as he tilts his head, lips parting, inviting Suga in closer.

It’s very, very quiet, except for the soft sounds of breath against skin, the small pops as lips come apart. There is absolute silence in the other room.

“How do you feel about exhibitionism?” Daichi asks in a whisper, wet lips brushing the edge of Suga’s mouth.

“Right now,” Suga says, “I feel pretty damn good about everything.”

Daichi smiles right against his cheek, and Suga doesn’t know how all of this is going to work, but he knows that knot of doubts doesn’t feel quite so big and gnarled and unfixable. He knows that kissing Daichi feels at once more electric than he’s ever experienced, and more comfortable than it has any right to after such a short time.

He needs to make Mai’s bottle, and soon the pizza will be here and the world will start whirling along again. But there’s something about this moment, with Daichi accepting him so unquestionably, accepting everything that comes with him, that makes Suga feel just as still and free and _right_ as he does with his eyes closed and his favorite music screaming around him. There’s something about Daichi that feels like home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading and commenting ❤


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little note for next chapter! I'll be traveling next weekend, and then staying with family who choose not to have wifi (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞ **Chapter 9 will still go up on schedule** because [Esselle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esselle/pseuds/Esselle) is awesome and she's going to help me out, but with no internet access on my laptop I'll be limited to shitty service on my phone, so I'll likely be slow with any kind of communication. 
> 
> Because of all this I will not be able to get Chapter 10 ready on time, so I'll be delaying it by a week, and it will go up on April 7th. After that, it should be smooth sailing to the end of the fic!
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading along!

Daichi is hovering over Kuroo’s shoulder, watching him carefully inking Mai’s name on a piece of cardstock they found in Asahi’s desk, when there’s a knock on the door.

“Need me to get it?” he calls from Asahi’s bedroom.

Asahi is currently seated on the couch with his hands full of Mai and a bottle, and Suga has just gone into the bathroom.

“Um,” Asahi says. “I think…yes? I don’t want to move her while she’s eating.”

Daichi nods, even though Asahi can’t see him, and jogs across the apartment to open the door just after a second knock raps against it. The pizza boy stands there, fist still raised, and his eyes widen when he sees Daichi. A little surprised, and then, a little disappointed.

“Hey,” he says. “I’m at the right door, right?”

“Yeah,” Daichi says, holding back a grin. “Can you come in for a sec? We got a little distracted, let me find my wallet.”

“Oh, sure, yeah,” the boy—Nishinoya—says, and then when Daichi turns into the apartment and is no longer blocking the doorway, he sees Asahi. “ _Oh,”_ he says again.

“N-nishinoya!” Asahi says, looking up at him and already blushing. Mai is cradled like a tiny bunny in his giant arm, his hair is slipping out of its standard messy bun, and Daichi does grin now, because he doesn’t think there’s a chance in hell Nishinoya could see Asahi like this and not fall for him.

“Hi!” Nishinoya says, a little breathlessly, his eyes darting between Asahi’s face and Mai’s. “You, um…is that—”

“Our friend’s baby,” Daichi says, because Nishinoya is floundering, and Asahi is just staring at him with his mouth slightly ajar. “Want me to take her, Asahi?”

‘Uh…” Asahi says, trailing off as they both watch understanding settle over Nishinoya’s face, and then the way his uncertainty is replaced by a bright smile as he drifts closer to Asahi and the baby.

“Oh wow,” he says. “So little! How old is she?”

“Just a week,” Asahi says, and now Nishinoya is right there at the edge of the couch. Daichi mentally rescinds his offer to take the baby, because this might actually be exactly what Asahi needs to help him talk to Nishinoya. Something outside of himself to focus on. “Did you…do you want to…sit?”

Nishinoya nods rapidly, sitting quickly and carefully right next to Asahi.

“I’ll…be back,” Daichi says, trying to draw as little attention to himself as possible.

As soon as he’s stepped away he hears Nishinoya asking Asahi another question, and Asahi actually answering him. When the bathroom door opens, Suga beginning to step out, Daichi holds a finger up to his lips and gestures for him to go back inside, following him in when he backs up.

“What—”

“Nishinoya,” Daichi says. “He’s sitting with Asahi. They’re talking.”

Suga’s eyes go wide, and he tries to push past Daichi to open the bathroom door again.

“No! He’s like a baby deer, we can’t startle him!” Daichi whispers.

“I just want to see!” Suga hisses back, pushing Daichi again until he’s able to get around him and open the door a crack.

They can’t see much from here, but Daichi peers over Suga’s head anyway, watching with him as Asahi nods and Nishinoya laughs.

Suga eases the door closed softly, and then grins as he punches Daichi hard in the shoulder. “ _Oh my God!”_

“ _Damn,”_ Daichi says, holding a hand to the spot Suga hit.

“Sorry!” Suga presses both of his hands over Daichi’s. “Sorry, sorry, I’m just so excited!”

“I see that,” Daichi says, smiling as he takes in Suga’s bright eyes, and then his arms, covered only by the short sleeves of a fitted, white t-shirt now—his sweater having been thrown over one of the towel bars. “That had some muscle behind it.”

“You impressed?” Suga asks, his happy smile tilting a bit on the right, becoming something a little different. Flirty and pleased.

“ _Yeah,”_ Daichi says, reaching to run his fingertips along the curve of Suga’s bicep. He wants to ask Suga how much he can lift. He wants to watch him do it. He wants, more than any of that, to draw Suga closer to him and feel his skin, and then—

“Guys?”

Daichi sighs. Suga smiles and brushes the pad of his thumb over Daichi’s lips, like he knows just where Daichi wanted this to go, if Kuroo weren’t looking for them, and if Asahi and Mai and Nishinoya weren’t out there. They hear Asahi answering Kuroo, and then Nishinoya being introduced, and they know it’s time to join their friends.  

“Maybe,” Suga says, pausing with his hand on the door, “we can go to the gym next week. Just the one here?”

Daichi nods, starts to open his mouth to say _yes,_ and is instead interrupted by Suga leaning in quickly to kiss him. The second time he has done this tonight.

It’s still a little stunning, really, that this is reality. That the beautiful stranger lying on Asahi’s floor just a short while ago, is now someone who has cried in front of Daichi, who has held his hand and tasted his lips. Who’s looking at him now, as he pushes the door open, like Daichi is the reason for his smile.

It kind of feels like magic. This whole night does, actually, with the little apartment so full. With Kuroo lighting candles and Asahi repositioning them more safely. Suga chatting with Nishinoya, and inviting him to stay when they discover this is his last delivery of his shift. All of them standing together to look at Kuroo’s flowing script after Daichi hangs the Meimeisho on the wall over Suga and Mai’s bed, and Mai in a sweet, white dress, held to Suga’s chest.

If Nishinoya thinks it’s odd that there’s no mother here, no grandparents, nothing but some college boys and takeout pizza, he doesn’t say anything. He joins them when they all sit around the low table, and it’s so strange, how much things have changed so quickly. All these new people in the room, their old pizza night tradition expanded and altered. Suga across from Daichi, looking tired and happy. Asahi flushed and smiling, eyes darting over to Nishinoya when he thinks the other boy isn’t looking. Except that he always is.

Daichi likes all of it. And he likes the way everything else changes too, as they settle into the following week. Routines shifting, new patterns developing.

They start Suga’s first morning home with pancakes, which isn’t unusual, but Daichi was able to plan ahead for this so he could make it just a little different. He knows exactly what he wants Suga to find when he comes in the door, with endearingly wild bedhead, and a tiny baby girl in his arms.

The first pancake face is not a success. At all. But Daichi has just completed his third attempt by the time Suga makes it past the greeting committee (Kuroo), and peeks over his shoulder.

“Oh…my God,” he says softly, and Daichi knows he doesn't have to worry that Suga's long-held desire for homemade pancakes with faces has been forgotten since he told Daichi about it.

“Just a sec,” Daichi says, adjusting the blueberry eyes once more, then pressing raspberries into the dots of whipped cream on the sides for rosy cheeks. “ _There._ It doesn’t have ears, but—”

Daichi doesn’t get a chance to finish speaking, but he does get a warm and enthusiastic kiss, and a hug so tight it makes his ribs ache, which is a routine he’d be very happy to adopt. Just like all the other new and good things that keep happening as the week goes on. Like the way he can hear Suga singing to Mai through the wall when he’s getting ready for class in the mornings. And the way he can kiss him hurriedly when he’s on his way out and stops at Suga’s door, brushing his hand over Mai’s soft head before he goes.

All of them find themselves in Asahi and Suga’s living room as often as they can, sometimes with textbooks dutifully opened on their laps, making use of the silence when Mai is asleep. Sometimes all crowded around her when she’s wailing and inexplicably miserable—Asahi fretting, Kuroo looking like he wants to cry every time she does, and Suga even and calm in the middle of all the noise.

It’s a good week, even with all the studying. Even with Kuroo still quietly agonizing over Kozume, and with Daichi and Suga never having a moment alone. They still have a lot of moments, and as much as Daichi is looking forward to really kissing Suga again, he likes what they’ve been able to share. Silly text messages, and noisy dinners with their friends. Getting to know each other, and finding that he, at least, becomes a little more attracted to Suga with every passing day.

 **Suga:** daicho

 **Daichi:** ( ￣︿￣)  
**Daichi:** what

 **Suga:** ( ˙꒳˙ )  
**Suga:** i think  
**Suga:** maybe  
**Suga:** possibly  
**Suga:** i have the energy for a little visit to the gym  
**Suga:** and Asahi doesn’t have plans tonight

 **Daichi:** that was a lot of messages to tell me you’re gonna work out with asahi

 **Suga:** funny man  
**Suga:** when are you off? can we have a workout date?

 **Daichi:** yeah! I’m off at 8  
**Daichi:** if you’re okay with going out you could meet me at the university? since i’ll already be at the gym there

 **Suga:** hmmmmm  
**Suga:** i’d be like...an entire bus ride away from Mai

 **Daichi:** you would  
**Daichi:** it’s okay if you don’t want to do that, it’s just a nicer gym

 **Suga:** let me think about it?  
**Suga:** it would be nice to see where you work  
**Suga:** and to...breathe fresh air

 **Daichi:** i was kind of thinking that too  
**Daichi:** when was the last time you left the apartment?

 **Suga:** (o-_-o)

 **Daichi:** lol...it’s up to you. but asahi is the most conscientious babysitter you’re ever gonna find. i think Mai would definitely be happy and safe with him for an hour

 **Suga:** i know she would...i’m just...  
**Suga:** i want to be there for her  
**Suga:** i don’t want her to ever have to wonder where i am

Daichi chews on his lip a little, reading over Suga’s last messages again. He can’t help wondering if that’s what Suga has spent his life doing, and he wants to ask him, as he’s wanted to before, where his parents are. But Suga would tell him if he were comfortable with it, so Daichi considers his next words carefully, wanting to be supportive without overstepping.

 **Daichi:** i know...and she’s gonna know that, even when you’re not right beside her  
**Daichi:** you’re always going to be there when it matters, and she’ll see that  
**Daichi:** my dad traveled a lot for work when i was growing up...there were always stretches of weeks when i didn’t see him, but that didn’t matter  
**Daichi:** i still knew he was there for me, because he’s a good dad, just like you

There’s a longer pause than there usually is when they’re in the middle of a conversation. Daichi wishes he could take Suga’s hand, but he’s at the fitness center, and Suga is at home, so he can only wait.

 **Suga:** i’ll try to be there just after 8, ok?

 **Daichi:** sounds good. if it doesn’t work out just text me, i’ll meet you at your place at like 8:20 instead

 **Suga:** okay :)  
**Suga:** Daicho?

 **Daichi:** *sigh*  
**Daichi:** suga?

 **Suga:** thank you

 **Daichi:** any time...i’ll see you tonight

 **Suga** : see you then!

Daichi has to take a minute after he puts his phone away, before he's ready to get back to work. It seems like it should be so obvious that Suga doesn't need to be glued to Mai’s side to be a good father, and he knows how smart Suga is. He knows he's aware that Mai would be safe with Asahi, that leaving the house for an hour or two would be totally meaningless in the grand scheme of things—it wouldn't affect his relationship with Mai in any way.

But it's just like at the hospital, when Suga refused to leave the building while Mai was there. It's love and devotion, but it's more than that—it's fear, too. The kind that comes from experience. And that makes Daichi's chest tighten and his fists clench, because obviously, whatever Suga’s story is, it’s not what Daichi would write for him if he could.

He's so goddamn glad he gets to be a part of where it goes from here.

* * *

Suga isn't worried about leaving Mai. Asahi has been helping with her feedings all week. He's changed her diaper in the middle of the night, learned just the way she wants to be held (by him, because it's different with everyone), and he's _Asahi._ Suga would trust him with his own life, and he trusts him with his daughter.

He's a little worried about himself, though. He knows that what Daichi said when they were texting earlier was true. He can see the reality of the situation, but he can't get himself to feel the way he knows he should about it. He can't forget what it feels like to be left alone.

“Suga?” Asahi asks. They're sitting on the floor together, watching Mai lying on her stomach on a blanket, making grumbling sounds and turning her head jerkily from side to side. “You're quiet,” he says when Suga meets his eyes.

“Just thinking,” Suga says. “Do you think that's enough tummy time for her?”

“ _She_ thinks so,” Asahi says, and she certainly seems to be finished with this activity, as she's now angrily grinding her face into the blanket.

Suga scoops her up and settles her on his chest instead. She's still on her stomach, but instantly becomes content.

“You nervous about going out?” Asahi asks, stretching out on his back next to Suga.

“A little. Not about leaving her with you, just…I don’t like the thought of being away from her.”

“You don’t have to,” Asahi says. “I’m sure Daichi would understand.”

“I know,” Suga says, smiling at the thought of Daichi, and how easy he makes it for Suga to be whatever he needs to be. “I think I probably should, though? Like…to be healthy.”

“Yeah,” Asahi says. “And you can come home whenever you want. If you end up wanting to stay out later, though…that’s okay, too.”

“You won’t get lonely?” Suga asks, turning to give Asahi a teasing smile. “Maybe give Nishinoya a call?”

“Suga…” Asahi says, blushing and turning away. They’d had such a nice night with Nishinoya the weekend before, and Suga knows (because he was unobtrusively paying very close attention) that Asahi and Nishinoya exchanged numbers at the end of it. “We’re just talking.”

“Which is great,” Suga says, because he’s in no way unaware of what a big step this is for his friend. “Just…you haven’t ordered pizza all week, and I know that’s not because you don’t want to see him.”

“He knows I like him now,” Asahi says. “I mean, not like I’ve said it, but…he probably already knew, huh?”

“Probably,” Suga says gently. “Do you like talking to him?”

Asahi nods, smiling and blushing again, and Suga decides to leave it at that. If texting Nishinoya while he settles into his feelings being known is what works for Asahi, there’s no reason to mess with that.

They sit together for a while longer, talking quietly and touching Mai’s hair and her little fingers every so often, until Suga’s phone buzzes. Asahi excuses himself to go to the bathroom while Suga opens up his text messages, smiling when he sees Tooru’s name.

 **Tooru:** kou-chaaaaan  
**Tooru:** i’m sorry i’ve been so quiet this has been the week from fucking hell

 **Suga:** oh noo...what’s going on?

 **Tooru:** the new kid is here, among other things  
**Tooru:** your “replacement”  
**Tooru:** you already know how i feel about this concept

 **Suga:** !!!!! What’s he like? Is he not nice???

 **Tooru:** he’s adorable and enthusiastic and talented and sweet  
**Tooru:** i hate him

 **Suga:** tooru...

 **Tooru:** he’s so *cute* kou-chan...all round cheeks and crazy red hair  
**Tooru:** he’s fresh and young and i feel like an oversized washed up old fart

 **Suga:** alkhfdgkl  
**Suga** : you are twenty and beautiful you ridiculous human...what’s the matter with you

 **Tooru:** i’m envious  
**Tooru:** and i miss you  
**Tooru:** how long has it been now? how old is cutie-chan?

 **Suga:** two weeks!  
**Suga:** tooru you’re not being mean to him are you? what’s his name?  
**Suga:** it must be hard coming into an established group like this

 **Tooru:** hinata shouyou. and i’m not being mean...as if iwa-chan and aka-chan would allow that  
**Tooru:** (tobio also seems to be Fascinated with him  >_>)  
**Tooru:** i can’t believe she’s two weeks old! and i haven’t even met her yet :(((

 **Suga:** (reeaaally...keep me updated on the tobio situation)  
**Suga:** and i know...it feels so weird that none of you have

 **Tooru:** (you know i will)  
**Tooru:** what about your neighbor? is that still a thing?

 **Suga:** it....is. oh my god tooru i can’t believe we’re so out of touch  >_<  
**Suga:** we kissed...on our date that night i told you i was having dinner with him?

 **Tooru:** !!!!!!!!!  
**Tooru:** and?  
**Tooru:** what’s happeniiiiiing??

 **Suga:** it was really good. really really good  
**Suga:** he’s so....skjdhgkjh  
**Suga:** he’s So Gorgeous, but like...also really sweet and stable and just..  
**Suga:** lord, tooru

 **Tooru:** you’re smitten  
**Tooru:** you’re a smitten koushi kitten

 **Suga:** he makes me feel good

 **Tooru:** :)))  
**Tooru:** i won’t fully trust him until i meet him, but i’m glad kou-chan...you deserve it  
**Tooru:** have you...done more than kissing?

 **Suga** : no...i see him a lot, but we barely get a chance to be alone. and i don’t want to rush anyway  
**Suga:** i’m meeting him tonight though, just at the gym where he works...my first time leaving Mai O_O

 **Tooru:** aaah is beard-kun watching her?  
**Tooru:** (he works at a gym? just how built is this boy?)

 **Suga** : he is! i'm so grateful for him...all of the guys have been really great with her    
**Suga:** (he could give iwa a run for his moneeey, my friend ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))  
**Suga:** i should actually go get ready...i need to leave soon!

 **Tooru:** bless beard-kun and the handsome neighbor duo, i’m glad you have help  
**Tooru:** also please picture me tapping my fingers together while the wheels in my head spin WILDLY

 **Suga:** lol...i’m gonna leave you to that  
**Suga:** thank you for texting tooru...i miss you

 **Tooru:** you tooo...have a good night with bara boy!!

 **Suga:** omg...daichi, his name is daichi

 **Tooru:** whatever...ilu  <333

 **Suga:** you too  <333  
**Suga:** and be nice to new boy! If you want the fans to accept him you need to accept the hell out of him  
**Suga:** tooru i know you’re still there

 **Tooru:** (눈_눈)  
**Tooru:** have some faith in me, i'm being good. and i’ll destroy anyone who talks shit about any of the members. new or old

 **Suga:** oh god...have you been getting into fights about me?

 **Tooru:** the shit people say, kou-chan!! how dare anyone get pissed at you on MY BEHALF because they think you’ve abandoned us? they can keep their garbage to themselves and leave us out of it

 **Suga:** i know...but i’ve read a lot of sweet comments and messages from people just wishing me well with whatever i’m doing too

 **Tooru:** good. that’s the only kind of comment there should be

 **Suga:** i really better go..thank you tooru  <3

 **Tooru:** always  <3

Suga sets his phone down and looks at Mai, who has fallen asleep on his chest. “Sweet girl,” he says. “I have to get up.”

“I can take her,” Asahi says, coming back into the living room. “You’d better head out soon.”

Suga thanks him and tries to seamlessly transfer Mai to him, but she wakes and begins to cry.

“It’s okay,” Asahi says, though he looks pained. “Go get ready, she won’t cry forever.”

Suga is torn. He knows that both Mai and Asahi are really fine, but God, this is so much harder than it seems like it should be. Just the act of preparing to go somewhere she isn’t.

“Okay,” Suga agrees, putting a smile on his face and squeezing Asahi’s arm. He hurries to his room to change and throw some clean clothes in his backpack. Mai is still crying after he’s gone to the bathroom, and Asahi is holding her very carefully with one arm while pulling the formula out of the pantry.

“I think,” he says, “this would be faster if I put her down, but I know she’ll be miserable.”

“I know,” Suga says. He hates when he’s in this situation too, because Mai cries like she’s being mauled by a wild animal if he ever dares to put her down when she’s hungry and waiting for her bottle. He can handle it very briefly if he must, but he knows the sound breaks Asahi’s heart. “Here, I can make her bottle quickly, and—”

“Helloooo neighbors.”

The door is flung open along with this greeting, and Kuroo comes striding inside. “I couldn't help hearing the gentle cry of the Baby Mai as I was exiting the elevator—”

“Oh God,” Suga says. Everyone in this building must hate them.

“And I…good _gracious,_ Mai-chan, that’s verging on deafening.” Kuroo taps his ear and blinks, as if assessing whether or not he still has his hearing.

“She hates me when she’s hungry,” Asahi says miserably. “Suga, you need to go.”

“Yes!” Kuroo says. “Suga-san, get out. Asahi, give me the angry child and get that bottle ready.”

Suga feels mildly panicked by the noise and the rush, but he can’t help smiling at how far Kuroo has come in just a week’s time. He lingers to watch him taking Mai into his arms and walking her over to the window in the living room to distract her. Kuroo still carries her as if he’s holding something either very breakable or highly explosive, but it’s a process, and Suga thinks he’s doing just fine.

“Go on, Suga,” Asahi says, looking over his shoulder at him. “Once she’s eaten she’ll be sleepy and happy. You don’t need to worry.”

“I know,” Suga says. “Fuck— _shit,_ sorry Mai…okay, I can do this. I’m going.” He kisses Mai’s head, and then pauses when he catches Kuroo’s wide eyes on him.

 _“Potty_ mouth,” Kuroo says.

“Hush,” Suga tells him, flicking his shoulder before hurrying over to give Asahi a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Here I’ve been working so hard not to swear in front of the baby, and _you—”_

“Bye Mai-chan I love you!” Suga calls out loudly, cutting Kuroo off. The other boy raises his eyebrows at him and Suga sticks out his tongue. “Thank you, guys,” he adds.

Asahi and Kuroo both shoo him away, Asahi giving him an encouraging smile before shutting the door gently in his face.

“Okay,” Suga says again to himself. He takes a deep breath and lets it out, then digs his headphones out of his bag and settles them over his ears. He wants to spend the trip to the university safe in his music, instead of feeling each bit of distance he’s putting between himself and Mai.

Just as he arrives at the fitness center his phone buzzes in his pocket, and he pulls it out in such a rush he almost drops it.

 **Asahi:** Mai is good...she drank her whole bottle and Kuroo is reading to her now  
**Asahi:** i mean...he’s reading from his chem textbook, but she’s not protesting  
**Asahi:** _*image attached*_

Suga looks at the picture for a long time—Mai with her back against Asahi’s chest, her eyes half closed, and Kuroo right next to them, the corner of his book visible on his lap. He knows, taking in this little tableau, that there’s no reason to hang onto that worry of Mai's life mimicking his own. He might not know exactly how to be a father, but he knows how _not_ to be one. Without his parents, Suga had only his aunt, who was distant and impatient and eternally put out by him. But Suga would only ever leave Mai in a place filled with safety and love, and only knowing that he would be back beside her soon.

 **Suga:** :))) ty asahi  
**Suga:** i know she doesn’t care but tell her i’ll be back in a little bit okay?

 **Asahi:** of course :)

With his phone tucked inside his bag, and the image of Mai content and taken care of in his head, Suga goes into the bright lights of the university’s fitness center.

The girl at the check-in desk looks up as he approaches, and he realizes he doesn’t know what exactly he’s supposed to do here, as he has no student ID. He suspects identification could be unnecessary anyway, as her eyes have widened and she’s looking at him _that way_ now, like she’s certain she knows him, but can’t reconcile him being where he is. The baseball cap seems to be throwing her off further, and he's glad he put it on.

“Are you—” she begins.

“I’m looking for Sawamura Daichi?” Suga says, in a friendly voice that says he has no idea what he just interrupted.  

“Oh,” she says, looking a little confused, because why would Sugawara Koushi be looking for a boy she works with. Suga feels a little badly, but he’s just not ready right now to make it known to anyone where he is, or what he’s doing. “He’s just finishing up…he should be by the free weights.”

Suga thanks her and keeps his head level as he walks away. He knows from experience that trying to hide only draws more attention.

The gym is large and busy, but Suga finds the weight area after wandering around a little, and once he’s in the right place, it isn’t hard to spot Daichi. He’s wearing a bright blue t-shirt, tight against his muscular build, with the university’s mascot printed across the back. A big, black bird, wings spread wide over his shoulder blades. He holds a clipboard in his hands, and is talking to a pretty, round-faced girl with red cheeks. She looks absolutely exhausted, but her face is lit up with a proud smile.

“Perfect, Minami-san,” Daichi says. “That’s exactly what I want to see next time.”

Suga smiles at how Daichi manages to sound deeply, genuinely kind, and also entirely no-nonsense when he says this. He wonders if this is another thing he learned from his father.

A moment later the girl says goodbye to Daichi, and Suga steps closer, feeling his chest constrict pleasantly at the way Daichi’s expression changes when he sees him, becoming so soft and open it's like watching a flower bloom.

“Suga,” he says.

“Hi,” Suga replies around a slight lump in his throat. The honesty in Daichi’s face is already more than enough to deal with, but now that they’re facing each other head on, Suga can’t help drinking in each and every thing about him just now. The sweat catching the light on his throat, and his shirt clinging to him like a second skin. The way that, without his ever present jeans and hoodie, Suga can see all the beautiful lines of his forearms and calves. “You look good here.”

“Do I?” Daichi asks, with a charmingly crooked smile. “I’m probably pretty gross.”

“I think we’ve talked about this,” Suga says, feeling his own lips spread wider as he moves closer to Daichi, who is anything but gross.

“Right, we have,” Daichi agrees, lifting a hand to wiggle the brim of Suga’s baseball cap up and down. “Incognito?”

“Just for the way here. You can—”

Daichi lifts the hat off and smiles at Suga’s mussed hair. “Cute.”

“Quiet,” Suga says. “Call me cute later, when I can kiss you.”

Daichi nods and blushes just a little. “Deal. I just need to put this away,” he says, lifting the clipboard, “and then we can do whatever you want. What did you want to work on?”

“Are you assessing me, Sawamura-san?” Suga asks lightly. “Do you want to know my fitness goals?”

“I can't even pretend to talk to you like I would a client,” Daichi says with a shake of his head. “I’d get fired if I looked at someone the way I—” He stops abruptly, the light pink of his cheeks deepening suddenly. “I mean…”

Suga would usually have a quick response to this, a gentle, teasing line, but he finds that his own face has become startlingly warm at Daichi's admission of how he looks at him.

“We could…do some cardio first?” he says, because now they're both flustered and smiling, and a change of subject seems like the best idea. “And then weights, if you'll spot for me.”

“I…yeah, of course.”

Suga goes with him when he returns his clipboard to a little office, tucking the papers into the appropriate folders in a sleek filing cabinet. And then, even though Suga does actually want Daichi to assess him, thoroughly, he controls himself and helps him find two empty treadmills next to each other instead.

It feels good to work the speed up higher once they've warmed up, to feel his lungs and muscles working. Kind of like the way he feels when he’s dancing—the joy of movement and the satisfaction of his heart thudding quick and steady in his chest. It’s not quite as good as dancing, because of the monotony, but immeasurably nicer at the same time, because of Daichi beside him, keeping pace with him.

They’re both slick with sweat by the time they lower the speed and cool down. Suga fixates on the dark spot spreading along the neckline of Daichi’s shirt and down the center of his chest for a moment, then grins when he realizes Daichi is doing the same thing to him. And it’s nice…it’s so nice.

Suga is so accustomed to being stared at. He’s used to being broken down into features that fans of Hikaru define him by—his smile, his hands, his practiced, cheeky wink. The little mole under his left eye, usually made into something bigger and bolder than it really is with a signature, stick-on gem. It never bothered him. He liked their excitement and affection, and he knew that however anyone else saw him, it didn’t take away from who he actually was.

It didn’t exactly _give_ him anything either, though, not like this—not like being looked at by Daichi. Even from that first day, when Daichi found him on the floor, it was like the other boy was seeing more when he looked at Suga than what everyone else sees. Maybe even more than Suga sees. And it’s because of this—because Suga knows it’s not just his face or his body that draw Daichi to him—that Daichi’s eyes on him, appreciating all of him, give him so much more than he’s felt before. A deep, wonderful heat in his stomach, a fluttering in his chest. An uncharacteristic twinge of shyness that he finds he likes very much.  

“Weights?” he says, his voice a little dry.

Daichi nods and leads the way, and Suga worries a little as he follows him that the building tension will be too much when he’s watching Daichi actually put those muscles of his to work.

As it turns out, it is not just a lot of significant, heated looks once they get started (though there are plenty of those), because Suga is both competitive and very fond of the enthusiasm Daichi seems to have for Suga’s strength. He’s still extremely aware of the stretch and swell of Daichi’s muscles, and the sweat collecting along the grooves of his tendons, but he’s also having a lot of fun showing off for him. Even if Daichi proceeds to one-up Suga every time.

“Dammit,” Suga says. “That last one didn’t count! You were straining.”

“Of course I was, but I did it. It was a full set.”

“Barely.”

“Six more reps than you managed, though,” Daichi points out with a grin, and Suga snaps him with a towel.

“I’m a dancer, not a weightlifter,” he pouts.

“I know, that’s why I’m so impressed. You’re holding your own here, but I can’t dance at all.”

“Everyone can dance.”

Daichi snorts and shakes his head. “No…no, they really can’t. _I_ really can’t.”

Suga sits down on a weight bench, resting his elbows on his legs as he looks up at Daichi, speculating. “Challenge accepted,” he says.

Daichi blinks at him. “No,” he says. “What? No.”

“You help me get to six more reps, I’ll help you dance.”

“I _can’t_ dance.”

“Deal?” Suga says, holding his hand up to Daichi.

“Are you even listening to me?” Daichi asks, but he’s already reaching for Suga’s hand and clasping it against his own.

Suga beams up at him—partially because he’s beautiful, and his lips are so nice, and he makes Suga’s heart race—but mostly, right now, because he’s not just those things. Because he’s a friend, in addition to them, and Suga knows what kind of relationships are the lasting ones. Not flings, not brief, thoughtless unions like what he had with Maru, but something like this. Something he can feel building inside himself like bricks upon sturdy bricks. _This_ could really be something to hold on to.

* * *

It’s almost impossible to remain calm, knowing that Suga is in the shower stall adjacent to his. Naked, just like him. Daichi washes hurriedly and does _not_ look over his shoulder after he’s wrapped a towel around himself and gone back to the lockers to get dressed. He averts his eyes when Suga comes towards him just as Daichi’s buttoning his jeans, still dripping with water.

“Such a gentleman,” Suga teases softly, reaching for the backpack that Daichi let him stow with his things before they showered.

“I can’t check guys out in the locker room,” Daichi retorts. “I’d get a bad rep.”

“I won’t tell,” Suga says, warm brown eyes glinting playfully.

Daichi prays there will be no obvious tenting in his pants, and he looks, just quickly. Lets his eyes roam over milky skin and a lean, muscular chest. Shoulders and collarbones that are just angular enough to make him want to kiss the edges. Water trickling down to that same toned stomach he glimpsed the day he met Suga, the same fair hair trailing beneath the towel around his hips. He has seen this before, he supposes, when Suga’s shirt was open in that music video he watched, but he’s glad he turned it off before it got to the end. He’s glad to only be letting himself fully appreciate it now, when Suga is inviting him to.

“Christ,” he says, hoping his voice is low enough that only Suga will hear it, and maybe not even him. He catches the faint color in the other boy’s cheeks though, before he ducks his head to dig through his bag.

“You’re going to overinflate my ego,” Suga says.

“You’re a popstar. If your legions of adoring fans haven’t already made that happen, I’m probably not gonna tip the scales.”

Suga laughs at this, ruffling a hand through his hair to shake out a little more water. “That’s totally different,” he says.

“How?”

“Daichi…you're actually seeing _me,”_ Suga says. “And you're _you,_ and I…it means something. It means a lot to me, that you look at me like that.”

Daichi feels a little like he’s been punched all of a sudden, in a very nice way. He doesn’t touch Suga, despite his intense desire to—because this is his workplace, and he does have some self-control—but he meets his eyes for a long, quiet moment, and it feels just as intimate as when their hands or lips are pressed together.   

(He really hopes there will be a chance to actually have their hands and lips pressed together soon, though.)

Suga dresses quickly after that, with Daichi’s back turned, and then they’re out in the light chill of the spring night.

“Do we need to get back?” Daichi asks. “How’s Mai?”

He pulls out his own phone while Suga is checking his, and finds messages from both Asahi and Kuroo. Asahi’s are sweet and reassuring. _If Suga is worried we’re really really okay. Mai has been great. Except for the poop omg, but we handled it! Please encourage him to stay out and relax if he’s comfortable with that._

And then there are Kuroo’s.

 **Kuroo:** bro  
**Kuroo:** i love baby mai, you know i do  
**Kuroo:** but holy shit...and i mean literally holy SHIT  
**Kuroo:** have you seen baby shit before?  
**Kuroo:** it is Nasty!?? What even? The color? Is she human???  
**Kuroo:** This is Not what humans produce  
**Kuroo:** it went fucking everywhere too man..like right up her back i shit you not  
**Kuroo:** you better be having an epically good time  
**Kuroo:** we used like 10000 wipes tell suga i’m sorry  
**Kuroo:** don’t though don’t say anything just have fun  
**Kuroo:** but godDAMN  
**Kuroo:** oh god she’s so cute now though..we put your i heart metal thing on her  
**Kuroo:** look at heeeeeer  
**Kuroo:** _*image attached*_  
**Kuroo:** _*image attached*_  
**Kuroo:** _*image attached*_  
**Kuroo:** don’t come home

“Um…” Daichi says. “Kuroo may be planning to kidnap Mai.”

“Hm?” Suga says, not looking up from the picture of Mai on his own phone, where she is also sporting the black onesie. “Asahi said Kuroo barely made it through changing her diaper. I’m not worried.”

“I…heard about the diaper. Really sad to have missed out on that.”

“Same,” Suga says, looking up at him with a sly smile. “I think…I think I’m okay to stay out a little longer. If you want to.”

“Yeah?” Daichi asks. “I don’t mind going back. Anything is okay.”

“Anything?”

“Oh, God. No. Yes. What do you want to do?”

“You’re so suspicious, Daichi! What have I ever done to you?”

“Your face is nothing but trouble,” Daichi says, looking very fondly at Suga’s face, and admiring the way the golden light of the streetlamps is kissing his cheeks.

“I want to try something.”

“That’s not ominous at all.”

Suga grins and lightly punches Daichi’s chest. “Where can we be alone?”

If the something involves a need for privacy, Daichi is in, but he has no idea where they can find this. “Just my apartment, I guess. But the guys will be right there in yours.”

“Hmm…that’s okay. We’ll use headphones.”

“What?”

“Do you have a splitter? Actually nevermind, I think I have one in my bag.”

“What?” Daichi says again. He doesn’t know what a splitter is, or why Suga would have one with him, or what the headphones are even for.

“You have headphones, right?” Suga asks, taking Daichi’s hand and pulling him along beside him. He smiles when Daichi nods dumbly. “Perfect. This’ll be fun.”

Daichi doesn’t bother asking for clarification again—nothing with Suga has ever been predictable anyway. He just holds his hand and smiles back at him, because whatever Suga’s plan is, it’s for them, and that’s all he really needs to know.

They send messages to Asahi and Kuroo when they get to their building, so their friends will know they’ll be in the apartment next door, and that they’ll come over after.

 **Kuroo:** you are NOT getting laid tonight  
**Kuroo:** you are not doing it on the other side of the wall from me  
**Kuroo:** do not rub my face in the fact that you suddenly have game and i have NONE except with kenma’s cats

 **Daichi:** he lets you call him kenma now?

 **Kuroo:** oh, yeah! that’s something hey?

 **Daichi:** it is! now calm the fuck down we’re just hanging out

 **Kuroo:** fine :pp

“Daichi?” Suga says.

They’re standing outside his door, and it feels different, now that he’s paying attention. Knowing that Suga is going in there _with him,_ and not just to share a meal with everyone.

“Sorry,” he says. “Kuroo was…Kuroo-ing.”

“Of course,” Suga says knowingly. How quickly he’s gotten to this point.

“So do I get to know what we’re doing now?” Daichi asks, pushing the door open and stepping back to let Suga in.

“Okay. So. You might think this is weird. You probably will.”

“The longer you don’t tell me, the weirder I expect it to be.”

Suga laughs and walks through the apartment with him, straight towards Daichi’s room. “Headphones?”

The headphones are located after some digging around in Daichi’s nightstand, while Suga gets out his phone, his own headphones, and the splitter, which Daichi now realizes is what will allow them to plug both pairs of headphones into the same source.

“So?” he asks, once they’re sitting side by side on the edge of his bed.

“I want you to listen to something with me.”

“The metalcore,” Daichi says, understanding dawning on him. “Suga…I respect your interests, but I—”

“I know you don’t like it. You don’t have to,” Suga says. “I just…I really want to try listening to it with you. It’s—I don’t know how to explain it, it just—it makes me feel really good. And being with you makes me feel really good. And I’m curious…what it would feel like if we put it all together.”

It’s a little strange. Daichi can’t imagine ever finding himself curious about something like this, but he understands the logic behind it. Except for the requirement for privacy, because they could listen to music with headphones absolutely anywhere. “Okay,” he says. “But why did we need to be alone?”

Suga cocks an eyebrow at him. When Daichi just stares back at him expectantly, his lips curve up and he lifts his hand to press a finger under Daichi’s chin. “Daichi-san,” he says, in that way he does, and then Daichi understands.

He waits while Suga adjusts both of their headphones, watches as he taps his phone a few times, and a moment later his ears are filled with noise. Suga smiles at him and closes his eyes, and just as the vocals come in over the grungy, frantic guitar, the voices all roaring in unison, Daichi kisses him.

He didn’t have time to build up any expectations for this, but if he had, he couldn't have predicted the way it feels. The way the already very big feelings that kissing Suga gives him are instantly amplified. Something about the overabundance of stimulation from the music surrounding him, and the deprivation of sight now that his eyes are closed, too, makes the touch of Suga’s lips into something new. It takes Daichi’s inhibitions and sends them scattering, obliterated by the hard hitting chorus. Every scream like a punch, a jolt to his system. Suga has told him these songs relax him, but Daichi feels like he’s being ignited, jump-started, saturated with a need to _do_ something, and all he wants to do is share that energy with Suga.

The other man’s mouth is hot and open now, letting Daichi slip his tongue inside and taste him hungrily, fingers drawing slow lines up and down the back of Daichi’s neck. The lazy motions at odds with the pace of the music, or maybe finding their own quiet path between the beats, like only Suga could. Daichi finds himself gripping Suga’s shirt tighter, pressing into him harder, and Suga moves with him, letting Daichi push him back until they’re flat on the bed.

“Suga,” Daichi says, pulling his mouth back slightly, but keeping their bodies flush together. Suga’s eyes are still closed, his lips parted, panting softly while he waits for Daichi to come back to him. Of course, he couldn’t hear him. Daichi had wanted to make sure this was okay, that the fire coursing through him from the frenzied escalation of voices and drums and guitars, and from Suga’s hips pressed to his, isn’t too much.

Suga’s hands are on him though—one in his hair and one low on his back, pulling him closer—and Daichi sinks into him, breathes him in deep, because the beat is so fast, so insistent, that it’s taking his own breath away. He doesn’t know where his pulse has gone, can’t tell if it’s the music or Suga’s heart that he’s aligned with now, but it’s overpowering, and it’s wonderful, and he’s never kissed someone like this before.

He loses track of the songs. They’re all so similar, and he’s not really listening to them so much as feeling them. The kick of the drums in his chest, the roar in his veins that is both his blood and the words he can barely make out.

He loses himself in Suga. Swept up in fingers soft on the bare skin at the small of his back, and kisses that are deep enough to match the ferocity of the music, but slow, slow, like the center of a storm. He doesn’t know how long it’s been, how many songs they’ve kissed their way through, when the music stops, and he can hear Suga’s breathing and his own, heavy and muffled through his headphones.

Suga slips them off for him, and Daichi slides Suga’s off, but neither of them move from the position they’ve settled into—Daichi’s legs spread over Suga’s, hips and stomachs and chests warm against each other. They’re fully dressed, all they’ve done is kiss and kiss and kiss, and Daichi doesn’t think he’s ever had a more erotic experience.

“Hi,” Suga says, a little breathless.

Daichi braces himself more fully on the bed on either side of Suga. “Hi,” he says, taking in Suga’s face for the first time since the music started—blissed out and hazy, and so, so peaceful. “So…what did it feel like?”

“Like…perfectly still water,” Suga says. “Like safety. What did it feel like for you?”

“Like a tsunami,” Daichi says.  

Suga smiles softly, with just a bit of uncertainty. “Sounds a little scary?”

“No,” Daichi says, shaking his head. He leans back into the heat of Suga’s space, touches his cheek carefully, and kisses him again. It’s gentle and quiet, almost soundless even in the silence of the room, but it still stops his breath and sets his heart racing like a sudden gust of wind. He told Suga he isn’t a natural disaster, and he’s not, but Daichi is sure that he’s something just as powerful. Something beautiful and sweeping even in the softest moments. “No,” he says again. “It was perfect. It was a really good idea.”

Suga smiles and reaches up to brush his fingers over Daichi’s forehead. “It was, wasn’t it? Thank you, for doing that with me.”

“You really don’t need to thank me for that,” Daichi says, finally rolling off of Suga so they’re stretched out side by side.

Now that the headphones are off, they can hear snatches of conversation from the other side of the wall. Kuroo’s voice, loud and excitable, and then the familiar sound of Mai starting to cry.

“Time to go,” Suga says, slipping his hand into Daichi’s.

“I’ll come,” Daichi says. “If that’s—?”

“Of course. You need to see Mai in that onesie anyway.”

He gets up, tugging Daichi with him, and neither of them mention the half dozen pictures Kuroo has already sent of Mai in the onesie. They both know that nothing is cuter than Mai in person. They also both know that this is unusual—this relationship in which a date ending is only the beginning of a different kind of time spent together.

Suga bumps his hip into Daichi’s as they leave his bedroom, and Daichi smiles and touches his soft, flyaway hair. This man, with his quick tongue and his easy tears. He’s so beautifully complex, so compelling, like a song that Daichi may never be able to catch every layer of, unless he listens and listens.

He kisses Suga’s ear, still pink and warm from the cup of the headphone being pressed around it for so long, and when Suga laughs, squirming against Daichi’s side, Daichi thinks he could probably spend the rest of his life listening.

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Just a little reminder that there will not be an update next week, as I'm out of town currently. Chapter 10 will be up on April 7th (*^‿^*)

“I can call,” Suga says, tapping his fingers across the top of Asahi’s head as he walks behind him.

Asahi looks over his shoulder from his position on the couch and scowls. “Suga, no,” he says. And then, “No!” again, when Suga sits beside him and holds his phone up with a smile.

“We haven't had pizza in so long!”

“Then call a different place!”

“Asahi…hey, come on,” Suga says, tossing his phone aside and turning to sit cross-legged on the couch, his hand on Asahi’s knee. “Why are you so afraid to see Nishinoya again?”

It’s been almost three weeks since the night of Mai’s Meimeishiki. The night Nishinoya hung out with them, and Suga thought something was finally starting for his friend.

“Because,” Asahi says, “I'm _better_ this way, when it's not face to face. Once he sees me he'll remember what a loser I've been, and—”

“No. Nope.” Suga shakes his head, his hand held up in front of Asahi’s mouth. “You won't let me call myself slutty? I will _not_ let you call yourself a loser.”

Asahi sighs heavily. “You know what I mean. Talking to him has been really nice. I don’t want to mess it up by being all…sweaty.”

Suga tries very hard to contain his snort, but even with his hand pressed over his own mouth now, he knows his wide eyes are betraying him.

“Shut _up,”_ Asahi says, shoving Suga’s shoulder in that gentle way that really can’t even qualify as shoving.

“I think Nishinoya would find you getting sweaty with him to be nothing but a positive experience?”

“ _Nervous._ I meant nervous. Don’t be a shit.”

Suga smiles and kisses Asahi’s cheek loudly. “You’re an incredible person, Asahi. Letting Nishinoya see you again is not going to mess anything up.”

The expected blushing and mumbled arguments follow, but Asahi smiles and leans into Suga, ruffling his loose hair. “Don’t you have a boyfriend you could go get pizza with?” he asks.

“I—” Suga was about to throw a quip back at Asahi, but he stops short when he processes his friend’s word choice. Since their date at the gym, he and Daichi have been slipping away every couple days to work out together, or to kiss as quietly as they can in Daichi’s bedroom, or just to sit together on the stairs at the back entrance of their building, holding hands and talking while the sky goes dark above them. They are definitely dating seriously, but they haven’t, at any point, discussed titles or labels. “I don’t know?”

“You don’t? Did something happen?”

“No! I just…we haven’t talked about the boyfriend thing. I suppose we are boyfriends though, aren’t we?”

“I’ve…definitely been supposing that.”

“Huh,” Suga says, running the word through his head again. He’s never actually had a girlfriend or boyfriend. He’s dated, certainly, but he’s never gotten to a point where he wanted to be sure that the other person was his. _His_ boyfriend. Like Daichi is. “I feel so silly.”

“Don't” Asahi says. “It doesn’t really matter what you call each other, does it? It’s just…it’s not like you’re _just_ dating, right? He’s not just some guy you’re seeing, he’s…”

“He’s…yeah. He’s a hell of a lot more than that,” Suga says. “Hey, Asahi?”

“Go,” Asahi says, easily reading the way Suga has shifted so his feet are on the floor again, ready to stand up. “Go tell Daichi you realized he’s your boyfriend. Mai-chan will probably be out for another hour anyway.”

“I love you,” Suga says, containing his smile just enough to kiss Asahi’s cheek again. “Call Nishinoya, okay? Ask him out, or ask him over. Just _see_ him.”

“Maybe,” Asahi says. “Go on.”

Suga hops off the couch, and kneels down to brush his fingers over Mai’s cheek where she lies sleeping on a soft blanket on the floor. He considers grabbing his backpack, but he doesn’t really want to work out, he just wants to see Daichi. Now that the semester is over the boys are all on a break, but Daichi is still working at the fitness center. Suga was supposed to meet him when his shift ends an hour from now, but he feels very bubbly inside, and an hour seems like an awfully long time to wait.

Daichi is with a client when Suga spots him. The boy he’s working with looks like he’s about to collapse though, so Suga assumes their time is almost up. Sure enough, a couple minutes later Daichi is clapping the thin boy on the back and sending him on his way. When he starts to walk towards the offices, Suga calls out to him.

“Sawamura-san!”

Daichi turns, the polite expression on his face dissolving into something warm and happy when he sees it’s Suga. “Hey!” he says, coming towards him. “You’re early.”

“I am,” Suga says. “Do you have a minute? Just to talk?”

“Of course, yeah,” Daichi says, his eyebrows drawing together a little. “Is everything okay? Is Mai alright?”

Suga smiles, and uses a significant amount of self-control to not just wrap his arms around Daichi in the middle of the gym. He’s far too sweet, far, far too good, and of _course_ he’s not just a guy that Suga is dating. Not even close. “Yes, she’s perfect, she’s napping. Everything’s fine, just…can we go in that office? Or—"  
  
“Yeah, I need to get my next client’s file anyway.”

They go to the little office and Daichi closes the door behind them, before turning to face Suga expectantly.

“You’re amazing, Daichi,” Suga says, and Daichi looks mildly concerned again. “What? What’s wrong?”

“You…it just seems like you’re about to say, ‘You’re amazing, _but…’”_

“What? No, why would I say that?”

“Because you didn’t come down here an hour early to tell me I’m amazing?” Daichi says, grinning a little self-consciously.

 _God,_ he’s just so cute. His shirt is bright neon pink this time, and Suga is going to explode. “No,” he says. “I came to tell you that Asahi called you my boyfriend today, and I realized that not only are you absolutely my boyfriend, but you’re a really, unbelievably excellent boyfriend, and I wanted to tell you that. I wanted to make sure you’re good with that. With me considering you…mine.”

Suga is expecting Daichi to blush, which he does, but he couldn’t have anticipated the expression on his face now. This soft, soft fondness, touched with a little bit of disbelief.

“Suga…I’ve been considering myself yours since the first time you held my hand. Of _course_ I’m good with that.”

“Oh,” Suga says, his hand rising unconsciously to rest against his own chest, right over his heart that has been so entirely overwhelmed in the past month. “Do you think I’m an idiot?” he asks, trying to say it teasingly to cover over all the emotions welling up, so close to the surface as they always seem to be these days.

“No,” Daichi says. He brushes Suga’s long bangs carefully away from his face and kisses his forehead. “I think you’re weird, and perfect, and I’m really glad you want to be my boyfriend.”

“I was already your boyfriend, though.”

“You were, yeah.”

Suga laughs and presses himself to Daichi’s chest, hugging him hard. “Let’s skip our workout tonight. Let me take you for dinner.”

“Okay. I’ll come over when I get home.”

“Good.”

“And Suga?”

Suga is very happy with his face pressed to Daichi’s neck right now, but he reluctantly lifts his head so he can look at him. “Hm?”

“You’re…I think you’re amazing, too. I think…” Daichi looks away, his cheeks flushing more deeply so it looks like the pink of his shirt is reflecting on them, then meets his eyes again. “I don’t know how to tell you how much I admire you. And how much…how _good_ it feels, being with you.”

“Like a tsunami,” Suga says. (He’s crying a little bit. This has happened so many times now that he doesn’t bother asking Daichi to ignore it. If having Mai has made him into someone who’s always ready to cry, then so be it.)

Daichi shakes his head. “Like…with you, I'd be safe in the middle of one.”

Suga doesn’t understand this. He’s looking at Daichi, with his broad, broad shoulders, so steady and solid. _He’s_ the one who makes Suga feel like he doesn’t need to worry about anything. The one who is so even, so quick to adjust and understand and reassure. And yet, somehow, he looks at Suga and sees the same source of strength that Suga sees in him.

“You’re a problem, Daichi,” Suga says, wiping his eyes on his sleeve.

“You can order me something spicy and make me cry tonight, if you want.”

Suga laughs and touches Daichi’s lips lightly, remembering how they set him on fire with that first kiss. “Such a problem,” he repeats. “How do you just say stuff like that?”

Daichi shrugs and kisses Suga’s fingertips. “I say what I think?”

And that’s what makes it so powerful, Suga knows. With Daichi there’s no false flattery, no contrived words and compliments. There’s just his heart, given with no hesitation.

They say goodbye after that, with a soft, slow kiss, and a promise to see each other as soon as Daichi is off. He has to get back to work, and Suga decides to head home so he can spend a little time with Mai and Asahi before he goes back out. He pulls out his phone to make sure the extra time needed to go for dinner instead of just a workout is okay with Asahi, and finds that his friend has already messaged him.

 **Asahi:** Suga  
**Asahi:** Suga  
**Asahi:** Suga Suga help

 **Suga:** what?? Is Mai okay??

 **Asahi:** yes!!  
**Asahi:** oh my god yes i’m so so sorry! It’s not mai!

 **Suga:** holy fuck you scared me! it’s okay though!  
**Suga:** what is it??

 **Asahi:** god i’m really sorry  
**Asahi:**  noya just asked if i want to go out tonight  
**Asahi:** i don’t know what to do im afraid if i say no he’ll think i don’t like him  
**Asahi:** but what does out even mean? Out where? I don’t like out :((  
**Asahi:** and i don’t know when you’ll be home can i just tell him i need to watch mai?

 **Suga:** lksdjgklhf  
**Suga:** no, you cannot  
**Suga:** i’m coming home right now. I’ll stay with mai tonight

 **Asahi:** but you were supposed to be with daichi

 **Suga:** i’ll be with daichi at home  
**Suga:** you don’t have to go if you don’t want to...but you like him!!!

 **Asahi:** :(((((

 **Suga:** tell him you’d love to see him tonight, but you don’t feel comfortable in really busy places, so what did he have in mind?

 **Asahi:** okay  
**Asahi:** yes...okay. Suga i promise i’m taking good care of mai even though i’m like...a disaster with noya

 **Suga:** i know omg...go text him, i’ll be home soon okay?

 **Asahi:** okay...thank you

Suga’s heart is still racing when he sets his phone on his lap, just from that split second of thinking Mai was somehow in danger. It’s a little terrifying, to love someone so much that the mere idea of any vague threat towards them can cause this kind of reaction, but Suga doesn’t push it away. He knows he’s going to have to accept his fears about Mai and find a way to live with them. He knows that they exist because she’s part of him, his own heart beating in a tiny, perfect baby girl, and he’s lucky enough to get to worry over her, and hope for her, and love her with everything he has.

He had thought—before she was born, before Daichi became what he is—that he couldn’t give his child everything, and still be able to give meaningfully to anything or anyone else. But here he is, with his chest tight with devotion for Mai, and for Asahi and his sweet, tender heart, and for Daichi—for everything that he is—all at the same time.

He’s a little sorry that he can’t take Daichi out tonight like he wanted to, but they talked about this already, that night in the laundry room before either of them really knew what it would be like to date and have a baby, and he knows there’s no need to explain anything to him. No worry that whatever they do tonight won’t be enough for Daichi.

 **Suga:** hi boyfriend

 **Daichi:** that is such a massive step up from daicho  
**Daichi:** hi suga :)

 **Suga:** lol...i’m not letting daicho go  
**Suga:** would you be okay with me making dinner for you tonight instead?  
**Suga:** nishinoya asked asahi out and i could not stand in the way of that

 **Daichi:**  no you definitely couldn't, and i would love that  
**Daichi:** can i bring anything?

 **Suga:** just that pink, pink shirt, pretty please

 **Daichi:** are you mocking my shirt? our only options are painfully bright colors so we’re easy to find if someone needs help

 **Suga:** i love the shirt..it’s the cutest fucking thing i’ve ever seen

 **Daichi:** i still think you’re mocking me (￢_￢)

 **Suga:** daichi-san...you look so good in that shirt i’m going to spend the rest of this bus ride thinking filthy, filthy thoughts about you

 **Daichi:**  .....  
**Daichi:** please save those thoughts

 **Suga:** okay ( ´ ω ` )  
**Suga:** I’ll see you soon!

 **Daichi:** see you soon :)

It’s not long before Suga reaches his stop, and then he’s hurrying up the stairs, hoping that Asahi has made progress in his conversation with Nishinoya since he last texted Suga. When he gets inside he finds his friend dressed in dark wash jeans, a clean grey t-shirt, and a nicely fitted jacket, instead of the ratty sweater and athletic shorts Suga left him in. He looks extremely nice, and Mai is in a fresh onesie and leggings in his arms.

“Did she—?”

“Pooped, yeah. It went right out the leg of her diaper.”

“I’m so sorry. But you look so handsome, Asahi! Look at you!”

“Is the jacket too much? We’re just going to a poetry reading on campus, but—”

“No. Perfect,” Suga says, reaching to take Mai before she can possibly get any more fluids on Asahi and deface the perfection. “A poetry reading is a great idea.”

“Yeah…yeah, I feel okay about it. I mean, I feel good. I think.”

Suga grins and slaps Asahi’s shoulder with one hand, keeping Mai held to his chest with his other arm. “That’s the spirit.”

“I’m trying.”

“I know you are. Go have a wonderful night.”

Asahi’s eyes are still a little wide and scared, but he nods and gives Suga a one-armed hug, before kissing his forehead and then Mai’s.

“Daichi’s coming over?” he asks when he’s stepped back. “Should I stay out late?”

Asahi already has the beginnings of a blush in his cheeks, and Suga is desperately tempted to turn them flaming red. “Why? In case I’m doing something slutty?”

“Suga! I never—”

“I know, relax, relax,” Suga says. “If you could be out for a couple hours that would be really nice for everyone. I know just hearing us kiss is painful for you.”

Asahi does not disagree with this. “I’ll do my best,” he says.

Suga thanks him and wishes him luck, and then he is left with Mai wriggling in his arms, and a dinner to plan. He thinks there’s a strong possibility that he could serve Daichi dry toast and he wouldn’t hear any complaints, but he’d really like to do better than that.

By the time he gets a text from Daichi letting him know that he’s almost there, Suga has two bowls of rice ready, and is slicing up green onions to top the spicy tuna mixture he’s prepared. He eats a little with his fingers, making sure it seems bland to him, since he doesn’t actually want to make Daichi cry again. Not tonight, anyway.

He’s just spread the tuna over the rice when there’s a knock at the door, because of course Daichi would knock. He knocked on Asahi’s door when he thought a break-in was in progress.

“Come in!” Suga calls, and Mai, who had fallen asleep in her bouncy chair, begins to cry.

“Sorry!” Daichi says, stepping inside quickly. “Did I wake her?”

“I think I did, actually. Can you grab her while I make a bottle?”

This wasn’t quite how Suga hoped for their date to begin, but Daichi just nods agreeably and crouches down to pick up the now howling baby. “Hey, Mai-chan,” he says. “Did your daddy forget to give you dinner?”

“She was sleeping until two seconds ago!” Suga says over his shoulder, grinning at Daichi’s mischievous expression. “Maybe it’s your shirt that’s upset her.”

“Hey!” Daichi says, pretending to be offended. “You said you liked it.”

“I don’t recall that at all.”

“You’re setting a terrible example for your daughter, Liar-san.”

“My daughter has no idea what I’m saying,” Suga counters.

“Only because she’s busy trying to eat my shirt.”

Suga snorts when he looks over his shoulder again to see Mai mouthing at Daichi’s chest. “She’s probably looking for your nipple,” he says, and then waits for the color to spread all the way from Daichi’s cheeks to the collar of his neon shirt. “Shouldn’t be hard to find with how tight that thing is.”

Daichi’s eyebrows fly up and Suga smiles at him sweetly, before going back to sprinkling toasted sesame seeds over their tuna don while he waits for Mai’s bottle to warm up.

“Where did your whole innocent persona in Hikaru even come from, anyway?” Daichi asks, walking into the kitchen with a much quieter Mai, who is now chewing on one of his knuckles.

“You already know that’s bullshit,” Suga says, cocking an eyebrow in Mai’s direction, the physical evidence of his lack of innocence.

“That’s not what I meant,” Daichi says. “How did people not see what a smartass you are, in interviews and stuff?”

Suga shrugs, and then gets distracted for a moment by how comfortably Daichi holds Mai these days, and how he doesn’t even seem to notice the baby drool dribbling down his hand.

“People see what they want to see, I guess. And I was good at playing my role.”

“Hmm…is there anything you’re _not_ good at, Sugawara-san?”

Suga has to take a moment. Daichi’s tight shirt, the way he’s holding Mai like she’s an extension of himself, and then the roughness in his deep voice when he said Suga’s name like that, are all just a bit too much. He has to clear his throat before responding. “You’re still five reps ahead of me,” he says. “Despite my very best efforts.”

“Doesn’t count. You— _ow._ How can you bite so hard with no teeth, Mai-chan? You’re the size of a loaf of bread.”

Suga giggles and rescues Daichi, taking Mai into his own arms to feed her. “You eat, too,” he says, but Daichi shakes his head and follows Suga over to sit on the living room floor, their backs against the couch.

“I’ll eat with you.”

Suga and Daichi have yet to experience a normal date together, but with the other boy close beside him, reaching to run a finger along Mai’s little pink foot and seeming perfectly content, Suga can’t see how that is in any way a bad thing.

They chat about their days while Mai is eating, and once she’s lying quiet but very alert in the crook of Suga’s arm, Daichi gets their donburi.

“Can I put you down, baby girl?” Suga asks. “Daichi, can you—”

Daichi is already reaching for one of the little blankets folded on the couch, and spreading it out in front of them so Suga can put Mai on it. They eat their dinner while they watch her, and Daichi’s eyes water a little bit from the tuna, but he doesn't complain. He finishes it in record time, and then stretches out on his side next to the baby.

“You here for me, or her?” Suga asks with a smile.

“She’s so calm tonight. Just let me enjoy how cute she is when she’s not busting my eardrums.”

Suga smiles and finishes chewing the rice he just put in his mouth. “Last night was rough, huh? I’m sorry for all the—”

“Don’t,” Daichi says, with a shake of his head. “It’s not like you were making her cry. I almost came over, but I didn’t…I don’t know…if that would be weird?”

“Not…weird,” Suga says thoughtfully. It’s not weird at all; it’s actually extremely sweet and comforting to know that Daichi was awake along with him, and wanting to help. But Mai is Suga’s daughter, and Daichi shouldn’t have to worry about night time wakings and sleep schedules that don’t ever seem to stick. All he should really be doing is enjoying his break between semesters like the rest of his classmates. “You don’t need to do that, though,” he continues. “Or need to _think_ you need to do that. You should just put some earplugs in and sleep.”

Daichi’s eyes have been on Mai, but now he looks up at Suga for a long moment, before nodding his head with a little half smile that doesn’t seem quite right. “I guess,” he says, and Suga gets an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.

“I didn’t mean, like…it’s not bad, that you thought of coming to help. I just don’t want you to feel responsible for things that you shouldn’t have to. I don’t—I _like_ it, but it makes me feel guilty.”

“Why?” Daichi asks.

“You’re _twenty,_ Daichi.”

“So are you. We’ve had this conversation already.”

“I know, I…” Suga rubs his eyes, not sure what it is he wants to say. It isn’t fair of him to be almost frustrated with Daichi suddenly for being exactly what Suga wants him to be. But it’s so much, and he’s so _good,_ and the idea of Daichi coming over in the middle of the night to share the load makes Suga feel so warm and hopeful and safe that it’s frightening. This has never been a part of Suga's life, having someone take care of him. If he starts to really rely on Daichi, then…

“Suga?” Daichi asks, sitting up and touching Suga’s hand. “Hey, I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Suga closes his eyes and rests his forehead on his raised knee. “No,” he says, after taking a few steadying breaths. “You didn’t, I just…it worries me a lot, that if things…if things don’t work out with us, you’ll feel bad about not being here to help me. And I don’t want you feeling stuck, or feeling…I just don’t want anything bad for you, Daichi.”

“I would still…be here, though,” Daichi says, and when Suga raises his head to look up at him, his brows are drawn together in confusion. “If we didn’t work out, I’d still be here for you. We’re friends.”

“But—”

“I don’t walk away from my friends, Suga. Not because of guilt or misplaced responsibility. Not because I’m stuck. Because I _care_ about them, and I like being around them and being on their team. I like being around _you,_ all the time. Not just when we’re…you know, flirting, and kissing. I really like being your friend.”

Mai starts to cry suddenly, and Suga almost does, too, but he just sits there feeling stunned while Daichi moves to pick the baby up.

“I like this,” Daichi says, settling Mai against his chest. “I don’t ever want to overstep or do too much, but I _like_ helping with Mai. She’s amazing, and you’re…Suga, I think…”

Mai is still crying in that unprompted, desperate way that usually starts up around this time, but she’s safe in Daichi’s arms, and Suga can’t look away from his face and all the emotion that has risen up in his dark eyes.

“I’m falling in love with you,” Daichi says.

Mai goes quiet for just a moment, and Suga’s eyes blur with tears. He opens his mouth, but finds that he doesn't have the words yet to fill the sudden silence. 

“You don’t need to say anything," Daichi tells him. "Why don’t…do you want to get Mai to bed, and I’ll clean up?”

Suga nods. He’s far too overwhelmed to say anything at all right now, so he just takes Mai and stares wordlessly back at Daichi when he smiles at Suga, somehow both nervously and reassuringly, before taking their bowls into the kitchen.

Once Suga’s in his own room, the familiar motions of changing Mai’s diaper and getting her into clean pajamas are soothing. By the time he's wrapped her in a soft muslin blanket, he feels as if his brain has started to properly process everything Daichi just said. His promise of friendship and support. His admission of so much more than that.

Suga lies down beside Mai on the futon. He pats her gently and rhythmically, singing the lullaby that sometimes carries her into a state of peace, if not actual sleep. While he whispers to her, the simple lyrics that come without thought, he plays Daichi’s words over and over again in his head. That honesty and earnestness that is becoming so familiar, so treasured.

He thinks about the way Daichi immediately gave him space when he needed it, without Suga having to ask. He thinks about all the ways Daichi is exactly what he needs, on top of being everything he wants.

He thinks about Daichi falling in love with him, and he touches his fingers to his lips, feeling the smile that has grown there.

Mai is asleep now, and Suga is awake, awake, awake.

* * *

Daichi finishes washing the dishes and pots in the sink, and then doesn’t know what to do with himself. He feels like he’s breathing too quickly. He feels like an idiot. He feels like he wouldn’t do a thing differently if he could go back in time, because he meant every word he said.

He’s tempted to text Kuroo, but he doesn’t want to be on his phone when Suga comes back, and he really doesn’t want to hear his idiocy confirmed right now. There isn’t anything to do but wipe down the counters while he listens to Suga’s soft voice from the other room, singing the little song he often hears through his wall at night. Then Suga goes quiet, but he still doesn’t come back, and Daichi starts to feel queasy. He leans on the counter with his back to Suga’s room and grips the edge of it, willing himself to stay calm, to stay hopeful.

“Hey.”

Daichi startles at Suga’s voice, but before he can turn around there’s a hand against his back, just between his shoulder blades, steady and warm. He stays right where he is, feeling Suga move closer to him, his forehead coming to rest at the top of Daichi’s spine.

“I am, too,” Suga says. His voice is a little muffled against Daichi’s shirt, and Daichi holds his breath to make sure he doesn’t miss a single word. “With you.”

There are a lot of things Daichi thinks about saying in response, but in the end he just stands there with Suga pressed to his back, closes his eyes, and smiles. Suga’s arms come around his waist and his lips brush over Daichi's neck, just above the collar of his shirt.

“Suga,” Daichi breathes, just because he wants to say his name.

Suga hums and plants tiny kisses all the way up to the nape of Daichi’s neck, and then whispers, “Koushi. You can call me Koushi, too, if you want to.”

Daichi wants to. He turns in Suga’s arms so he can see his face. The dried tears on his cheeks, and his soft smile. “Koushi,” he says. “Is Mai asleep?”

“Yeah. I didn’t leave her until I was sure she was out.”

There’s a fluttering of anticipation and excitement in Daichi’s stomach. Something like he used to feel when he and his brother and sister would sneak down the stairs far too early on Christmas morning. He’s not sure if it’s from knowing how Suga feels about him, or the fact that they’re alone, or just the way the other boy is looking at him now, like he trusts in Daichi, but it’s making him feel light and buzzy. He still can’t stop smiling.

“Daichi?” Suga asks, smiling right back at him.

“Koushi,” Daichi says. He kisses Suga’s lips and then says it again. And again, and again, between somewhat poorly aligned kisses, walking Suga slowly out of the kitchen and back towards the couch.

When they stretch out on it together—one of Suga’s legs pressed between Daichi’s, chests and hips flush against each other—Daichi stops trying to talk, and just says every feeling inside of him with another kiss, deep and unhurried with the apartment to themselves and Mai asleep. They’ve never done more than kiss until now, stopping at fingertips skimming bare arms or skipping over exposed hip bones, but tonight Suga rolls on top of him and slips his hand up the front of Daichi’s shirt. His warm palm moves slowly over his abs and his ribs, the shirt riding up until his hand comes to rest over Daichi's heart.

“Is this okay?” he asks.

“You’re kidding.”

Suga smiles, and it’s not sly or teasing, even with the heat in his eyes now—it’s just happy. So sweet and happy that Daichi thinks his heart might burst.

“I’m not,” Suga says. “This stuff…it’s never been serious for me before. I’ve never spent so much time just kissing someone, because I’ve never…I haven’t…”

“Am I your first boyfriend?” Daichi asks.

“Yeah,” Suga says. “And I don’t want you to think…I mean, I have a _baby,_ but…this matters to me, Daichi. Being with you. It matters.”

Daichi’s throat feels very thick all of a sudden. His heart is undergoing something new and strange. A beautiful warmth and lightness, coupled with an ache so fierce he’s afraid he might do something truly embarrassing in response.

“Suga…shit, you’re gonna make me cry.”

“I just need you to know—”

“I do, I know. It’s the same for me, it’s…I’ve never felt like this before.”

“Does it scare you?” Suga asks, slipping his hand out of Daichi’s shirt and sitting up a little, straddling his hips. “I’m not…I’m not who you probably thought you’d be dating in college. And I’m not just _me,_ I’m—”

“You’re more. You’re _better,_ Suga. And having Mai, that’s…that’s not a detractor.”

Suga laughs a little ruefully, shaking his head. “To a lot of people it would be.”

“Well fuck them,” Daichi says, his hands tightening around Suga’s waist. “Seeing you with her, seeing how brave and dedicated and incredible you are? It’s… _yeah,_ it all scares me a little, because it matters to me too, Suga. All of this matters.”

“Okay, stop, you have to stop,” Suga says, with a smile that’s equal parts shy and proud and the cutest fucking thing Daichi has ever seen. “We can make each other cry when Mai’s awake. Right now I just want to kiss you forever.”

There's more Daichi wants to say to Suga, more he wants to make sure he understands, but they have time, and now they have a quiet apartment and a sleeping baby. So he nods, running his hands up Suga’s back and pulling him down until their lips meet again, because he really wants that, too.

They kiss slowly, touching each other more boldly than they have before. Daichi cupping Suga’s ass instead of just squeezing his hips, Suga working Daichi’s shirt back up his body again, until it’s rucked up under his arms. The next time Suga kisses him, his mouth is hot on Daichi’s chest, and the next time Daichi rolls his hips into Suga, Suga grinds back against him and Daichi’s breath catches.

“Suga…”

“Koushi,” Suga reminds him.

“Koushi, we…we should…” Daichi has every intention of saying they should think about stopping. That if Asahi walks in on this, their friend will probably never look them in the eye again. But Suga’s cheeks are flushed, the wide neck of his shirt has slipped off his shoulder (or maybe been pulled off), and when he presses against Daichi again, the small of his back arching inward under Daichi’s hands, there are no thoughts left behind but _this,_ and _more._

“Hm?” Suga asks, in a rough, hazy voice that Daichi can feel on his skin.

He shakes his head and slips his tongue between Suga’s lips, pulling him so they’re on their sides and can tangle their legs together again. So they’re both free to rub against each other. He doesn’t worry about the baby waking up, or the front door opening, because kissing Suga like this, touching him like this, is as good as having headphones on and music blocking out the world. There’s just Suga and the way he tastes, the way he sighs when Daichi carefully bites his neck. There’s the softness of his skin and the strength in his body as he moves against Daichi, slow and insistent, and there’s the heat building steadily between them. It’s heavy in Daichi’s limbs, throbbing low in his stomach until he’s aching with it and Suga is moaning softly.

He opens his eyes when Suga’s muscles go taut under his hands, so he can watch the other man’s lips parting in a gasp as he comes, hips bucking into Daichi’s thigh. Suga looks lost in the pleasure coursing through him—hair loose and tousled, lips swollen, fingers tight on Daichi’s skin—and Daichi is lost in everything about Suga. Reaching his climax with Suga in his arms, still grinding against him, is like slipping under water and finding that he doesn’t need to breathe after all. He just needs this weightlessness, this heat, and the bare skin of Suga’s stomach against his own.

It takes a while, after these weeks of so much looking and wanting and not enough touching, for his orgasm to roll all the way through him. It takes a while after that to come fully back to himself. When he does, he finds Suga watching him, a sleepy smile on his face.

“If it’s that good with our pants _on…”_ he says, and Daichi’s body has the audacity to react as if they haven’t just gotten off against each other, and there’s any reason for blushing now.

“That was…that…”

Suga’s smile grows and he touches Daichi’s cheek, running warm fingertips down to his chin, and then tilting it towards himself so he can kiss him. “Yeah,” he says.

They stay where they are for a little while longer, holding each other and pressing lazy kisses to cheeks and noses.

“I can’t believe Mai stayed asleep for us,” Suga says. “What an angel.”

“How long do you think it’s been? Should we make sure she’s breathing?”

“Oh my God, Daichi.” Suga shoves him, and then his smile slips into a pout. “Now I have to go check.”

“I was kidding! Of course she’s breathing, and it…wow,” Daichi says, sitting up so he can see the digital clock on the microwave. “It’s been over an hour since she went to sleep.”

“Shit. Asahi will probably be back soon.”

“Maybe he and Nishinoya are busy making out at the poetry reading.”

Suga grins at him while he pulls his shirt back down over his stomach, and then helps Daichi do the same. “There’s a wet spot on your jeans.”

“Yours, too,” Daichi points out, refusing to acknowledge the way the tips of his ears seem to be burning, and letting himself look at the telltale dark patch between Suga’s legs.

Suga just raises his eyebrows at him lasciviously, and the burning continues. “Go change, before Asahi gets back. We can be chastely playing shogi when he comes in.”

“You play shogi?”

“Of course not, it’s obscenely boring.”

Daichi blinks.

“Oh, Daichi. You love it, don’t you?”

“I…” Daichi _loves_ shogi. He considers it one of his favorite pastimes, and greatest skills. “My dad and I used to play it a lot? It’s actually…really…fun.”

“Oh my God.”

“Don’t break up with me.”

Suga throws his head back and laughs, and Daichi grins just at the sound of it. His chest feels so full seeing how light Suga looks right now, without that slight wariness, that little edge of sadness that Daichi sometimes catches in the corners of his eyes.

“You’re so cute. Go put clean pants on, and come back and teach me the joys of shogi so we can pass it on to Mai.”

Daichi feels his eyes get a little wide at Suga’s words, and he turns around quickly before he can embarrass himself further. He flings open the front door, ready to hurry to his own apartment and get out of these sticky boxers, and slams right into Asahi, who lets out a startled groan at the impact.  
  
“Sorry! Shit, sorry,” Daichi says, backing up.  
  
Asahi is blinking down at him, looking bewildered. “You're like a freight train,” he says, patting at his chest as if it might have caved in.  
  
Daichi is thrilled by this unflattering comparison. He thinks it's the closest Asahi has ever come to insulting him, even if that wasn't his intention at all.  
  
“You have an accident, Sawamura-san?” another voice asks, before Daichi has a chance to say anything.  
  
He looks behind Asahi to where a grinning Nishinoya stands, then follows the pizza boy’s eyes down to his own crotch and blushes fiercely. Asahi looks too and blanches, and Nishinoya’s eyebrows fly up.  
  
“Oh my God, Asahi!” he crows. “I told you we should have given them more time!”  
  
Asahi’s face goes from white to almost purple, and the sight of it is enough for Daichi to toss aside his own embarrassment and laugh along with Nishinoya. “Two more minutes, man,” he says, “and you never would have had to see this.”  
  
“I didn’t see anything,” Asahi says. “It’s water. Go away.”  
  
Daichi can hear Suga laughing from inside the apartment, and he wants to just go right back in to watch the warm way he’s sure to tease Asahi. He feels gross though, and even though they’ve laughed it off, it’s pretty mortifying to have been seen with cum on his pants by his friend’s new boyfriend. Not that Nishinoya seemed uncomfortable with it. Daichi considers, while he strips off his boxers and jeans and pulls on a pair of sweats in his room, how impressive it is that Asahi is able to function around Nishinoya at all.  
  
When he gets back next door, Suga is in baggy shorts and a clean, black t-shirt. Daichi wishes he could pull him back down on the couch and spend another hour pressed against him, but Asahi and Nishinoya are there, and soon Mai is awake, and it’s back to being like a normal night. Except that Suga’s hair is still mussed from Daichi’s hands, and Daichi’s chest is marked with Suga’s kisses, and when Suga smiles at him he sees everything this night was for him reflected in the other boy’s eyes. He briefly wonders if he has always been this sappy, or if Suga just melted him down.  
  
“Boyfriend,” Suga calls to him. “Want to walk me to the vending machines downstairs? I need something sweet.”  
  
“There’s a joke to be made here,” Daichi says.  
  
“Please don’t,” Asahi says. “I know we interrupted you, just…go get your fake chocolate and finish your date away from me.”  
  
Nishinoya laughs delightedly and Daichi can’t help grinning, giving Asahi a proud slap on the shoulder.  
  
“Careful, Sawamura,” Suga chides him with teasing eyes. “He says you bruised his ribs on your way out the door.”  
  
“It was an accident!” Daichi says, seizing the opportunity to mess with his friend.

“I know!” Asahi cries. “It wasn't an accusation, I just—”

“Always thinking I’m out to get you, Azumane. Why do you still assume the worst of me?”

“I _don't!_ I _told_ you—”

“Let's go, Suga,” Daichi says, with as much dramatic morosity as possible, just in case Asahi doesn't actually know he's kidding. “I know when I'm not wanted.”

“Oh my God, you _are_ the worst!” Asahi bursts out behind them as they turn to go.

Daichi grins back at him, because he’s too gratified by seeing his kind, tender-hearted neighbor telling it like it is, to keep pretending to be sad. “See?” he says to Suga. “He thinks so poorly of me.”  
  
Asahi is definitely ready to either murder him or implode, so Daichi gives him another quick, bright smile before making his exit, pulling the door closed behind himself and Suga, who is muffling his laughter with his hand.  
  
“You’ll have to tell him explicitly later that you’re not actually offended,” he says, slipping his hand into Daichi’s. “Just in case.”  
  
“I could drag this out for a while, though. Go out of my way not to touch him at all. Apologize profusely if I accidentally bump him, and swear up and down that I wasn't trying to hurt him…”  
  
“You’re terrible,” Suga says. “I knew I liked you for a reason.”  
  
“I thought it was the way I look in this shirt.”  
  
Suga tugs on the hem of Daichi’s pink shirt and beams at him. “That too.”

They make their way down to the complex’s lobby, where Suga selects an orange flavored water from one of the machines. With Asahi and Nishinoya to watch Mai, there’s no real rush to get back, so they go outside to the steps at the back of the building, where they’ve been slipping away when they get the chance. It’s quiet and softly lit here, and Suga leans into Daichi’s side once they sit down, fitting against him like he was made to be there.

“I thought,” Daichi says, when they’ve been sitting quietly for a little while, “that I’d maybe really freaked you out, before. I know we’re supposed to be taking things slow, I just…”

“No,” Suga says, shaking his head against Daichi’s shoulder. “I freaked myself out, just overthinking. And then you…you were my still water again.”

Daichi lets that sink in for a moment, lets his heart swell over it.

“You’re sure?” he asks, once his voice seems ready. “Suga…I don’t want you to ever feel pressured. And I don’t want you to feel guilty, or worry about me being stuck. I would never insult you by offering anything I didn’t really want to give. I…I respect you too much for that.”

“I believe you,” Suga says, lifting his head to look Daichi in the eye. “I just didn’t want _you_ to feel pressured.”

“I never have. And I don’t…I don’t _want_ to put earplugs in and separate myself from you.”

“No, I know. I don’t want you to either.”

“Okay…good. You still need to say you’re sure, though,” Daichi says, even though Suga has really already said as much. “So I won’t have anything to overthink.”

Suga laughs softly and bumps Daichi’s nose with his own. “I’m sure, Daichi, I’m really sure. I wouldn’t be here with you if I wasn’t.”

Daichi knows that’s true. He remembers how hesitant Suga was when Daichi first started expressing interest in him, how seriously he took the matter of committing himself to anything outside of Mai. Daichi never expected any kind of commitment from him, especially not so soon. But he also couldn’t have anticipated how comfortably the two of them fit together, despite how different their backgrounds are, how different their present situations are. He didn’t expect to be halfway through college and head over heels for a single father and his round cheeked baby, but…here he is.

He kisses Suga’s lips, cold and sweet from the flavored water, and then leans his head against soft, silver hair. They’re quiet again after that, but Suga’s fingers tap a measured beat against Daichi’s knee, and he knows there’s music in the other boy’s head. Maybe one of the poppy tracks he keeps trying to get Daichi to dance to, or the roaring, frenzied metal that they’ve made out to twice more since that first time. Or maybe something softer—the lilting tunes Daichi hears through his wall late at night, with the words he can’t make out.

“What are you singing?” he asks, as if Suga were doing it out loud.

“Hm?” Suga says, tilting his head to look at Daichi. “Oh…I don’t know. Just you, I guess.”

Daichi has spent enough time around Suga at this point not to question this. To simply take it as a serious answer to his question.

“What do I sound like?”

“Steady,” Suga says easily, his fingertips still marking each beat on Daichi’s leg.  

Daichi wraps his arm tighter around Suga’s shoulders and kisses his temple. He silently repents for all the times he's made fun of Kuroo for being such a sentimental disaster, because he knows he doesn’t have a leg to stand on anymore. He’s not smooth, or composed, or anything that he thought he wanted to be before—he’s just in love, and Suga is a symphony inside him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! ❤


	10. Chapter 10

**Tooru:** kou-chaaaaaaaan

 **Suga:** yes dear?

 **Tooru:** i’m feeling mopey...i need to see your face

 **Suga:** come see it then :D

 **Tooru:** i want to!!  
**Tooru:** we have so much shit going on this month  
**Tooru:** but maybe i could get away just for a day or so? I really want to meet mai-chan before she becomes a teenager ( ; ω ; )

 **Suga:** lol...she’s not even a full month yet, but do you really think you could? i’d love to see you so much!  
**Suga:** aaand...i’d love for you to meet daichi

 **Tooru:** are you sure about that? (≖ ͜ʖ≖)

 **Suga:** omg that face  
**Suga:** yes, because i will murder you if you’re not on your best behavior tooru. no one will ever find you. don’t make me do that to hajime

 **Tooru:** sweetheart, you’re a scary son of a bitch

 **Suga:** (╯°益°)╯

 **Tooru:** very attractive kou-chan  
**Tooru:** seriously though..let me talk to otake! maybe i can make it before cutie-chan is two months!

 **Suga:** okay!!  
**Suga:** there are really ominous sounds coming from the vicinity of her diaper so i should go T.T

 **Tooru:** (⇀‸↼‶)

 **Suga:** you’d better still talk to otake

 **Tooru:** i’m confident you already know i will not go within 10 feet of a soiled diaper  
**Tooru:** anything outside of that i am here for XD just try to keep me away

 **Suga:** i would never  <333 talk soon!!

 **Tooru:** yes!!  <3

Suga sets his phone down and looks at Mai. She stares back at him with her ever-serious eyes, the brown of them a little softer than it was when she was born. Daichi says they’re going to look just like Suga’s. Suga wonders if his look just like anyone else’s.

“I _just_ changed you,” he says to Mai.

She does not care. Suga has started ordering cases of diapers online, because he’s learned that the little packages they were picking up at the store are the equivalent of handing a travel pack of tissues to someone in the middle of an emotional breakdown.

Once Mai is clean, again, Suga scoops her up and wanders out into the living room, expecting it to be empty, and finding that Kuroo has come over since the last time he left his room. He’s sitting at the counter bar, tapping on his phone and drinking one of Asahi’s coconut waters.

“Is your fridge empty again, Kuroo-san?”

Kuroo spins around on his stool and his face lights up, his eyes going straight to Mai. “I needed a baby fix,” he says. “But I didn’t want to interrupt you if you were napping, so…”

“She’s all yours,” Suga says. “Freshly changed and everything.”

“ _Nice._ Well-timed, Baby Mai.” Kuroo puts down his phone and drink, holding his arms out to take Mai instead.

“You're covered in cat hair,” Suga tells him, flicking a white strand off his shoulder.

“I…fell asleep on Kenma’s couch last night.”

Suga raises his eyebrows, and Kuroo’s lips do something wobbly that seems to be an attempt at containing a giant smile.

“Was Kenma on the couch with you?”

“Uh…sort of? He was curled up at the end, so we weren't like, cuddling, but…”

“But?” Suga prompts, sitting down on the stool next to Kuroo, and trying not to smile at how awkwardly he still holds Mai.

“Well nothing, really. But we spent the night on the same surface. That’s…that’s something, right?”

Suga isn’t sure if he and Kuroo are close enough yet for him to be offering advice. It seems like it may be a good idea for Kuroo to communicate his actual feelings to Kenma, again. But if he isn’t ready for that, Suga doesn’t feel it’s his place to press him in any way.

“Of course it’s something,” he says. “He must be very comfortable with you.”

Kuroo makes a face. “That’s what Daichi said, but he said it like Kenma maybe thinks of me like an old sweater.”

Suga snorts. “That’s not what I mean. Can you not tell at all if he sees you as…not a sweater?”

“No! I don’t know…oh, God,” Kuroo groans, dipping his head to brush his nose against Mai’s hair. “Did…did Mai-chan just fart? Is she passing both gas and judgement right now?”

Suga can’t help laughing, even though Kuroo looks fairly genuinely distressed. “She’s always passing gas. But seriously, how cryptic is this guy? Is he hard to read in other ways, too?”

“Yes, oh my _God._ I mean, I think I’m getting better at it though. Like, I can tell when he thinks my jokes are funny, he gets the tiniest, cutest smile? And he actually…he _laughed_ yesterday, so hard! It was like a fucking rainbow coming out.”

“Oh Kuroo,” Suga says. “You really like him.”

Kuroo nods, shifting Mai so she’s cradled in the crook of his arm and he can look down at her, studying her little fingers curling around one of his.

Suga doesn’t want to give unsolicited advice, but he’s also very fond of Kuroo and his big, big emotions, and if Kuroo is potentially going to get his heart broken…

“What if,” he says slowly, “you invite him over here sometime? And we can all hang out a little?”

There’s a moment of quiet where Suga isn’t sure if Kuroo heard him, because he’s looking down at Mai’s fingers like they’re the most amazing thing he’s ever seen. Suga’s resolve to make sure Kenma isn’t about to crush his neighbor doubles.

“I dunno,” Kuroo says eventually. “Daichi will be there internally mocking me, and I don’t think Kenma really even likes people all that much.”

“Well…you could ask him, at least. And you and I both know Daichi is on your side.”

“Yeah…but I also may have not mentioned that Daichi and I live together yet. We’re so _gay,_ Suga! How did we never see this?”

It’s tempting to tell Kuroo he has absolutely no idea, or to admonish him for withholding this information from Kenma, but Suga just smiles. “You’re good friends,” he says. “And I’m sure Kenma believed you when you told him you aren’t dating Daichi.”

“Yeah, probably. I just…I think maybe you’re right, it would be good to hang out somewhere else. And maybe then you could, you know…tell me if you think I’m just always gonna be his sweater.”

Suga agrees to be on the lookout for this tragic possibility, and after chatting a little while longer, and making ridiculous faces at Mai, Kuroo leaves to text Kenma and get ready for work.

It’s strange and quiet in the apartment when everyone is out and Mai is asleep. It still feels so odd to just be at home, to even have a home to be at, and it makes Suga wonder what he’ll do as time goes by, when he feels a little more stable and settled.

He wants to be with Mai, more than anything. And he knows, even though Otake told him his place would always be there, that he doesn’t want to go back to Hikaru. That life is all encompassing, and Suga’s world has shifted far too much to be able to slip back into it. Mai is his center now, and he’ll need to find a new orbit that works for them both. One where eventually he can feel productive and fulfilled as an individual, without taking away from being everything Mai deserves. He wonders how parents do it, this arguably impossible balancing act. How some of them end up being fathers like Daichi’s, trusted and respected and loved, and some of them end up like his—just a name and an empty space where memories should be.

Suga doesn’t know yet what he’ll do—something in the music industry or something new entirely—but he knows he’ll do it close to Mai. She’ll know him, and she’ll know that she matters.

A smile works its way unconsciously across Suga’s face with his thoughts, with the echo of Daichi’s voice in his head from the night before. The firm set of his jaw and the sincerity in dark, dark eyes when Daichi told him that everything between them matters. That he’s more serious about Suga and Mai than Suga felt he had any right to hope for.

He doesn’t want to do that anymore though—question what he should have, question what Daichi wants or is willing to offer. None of this is what Suga expected, but it’s _good,_ and he doesn’t want the back of his mind to keep quietly trying to talk him out of it.

 **Suga:** boyfriend

 **Daichi:** yes koushi?

 **Suga:** :))  
**Suga:** i’m just thinking about you  
**Suga:** feeling altogether sappy and embarrassing actually

 **Daichi:** :) that makes me happy  
**Daichi:** i had a really good time last night

 **Suga:** i did too  
**Suga:** i wanted to thank you for always being so honest with me about your feelings  
**Suga:** even though i started off our relationship by hiding everything about myself  >_>;

 **Daichi:** lol..you didn’t hide anything. You’re not obligated to tell anything to someone you’ve just met  
**Daichi:** i’m just really glad that i know you more now

 **Suga:** me too :)  
**Suga:** i’m sorry i know you’re working...go whip people into shape

 **Daichi:** it’s okay i had a couple minutes  
**Daichi:** i’ll be home pretty late, but if you’re up when i get in..come over?

 **Suga:** what color is your shirt today?

 **Daichi:** uh....safety vest green

 **Suga:** ahaha...oh noo

 **Daichi:** is this how you decide if you want to see me? Should i have said it was pink again?

 **Suga:** XD no  
**Suga:** i just wanted to picture you in all your neon cuteness  
**Suga:** that one might really offend my eyes though, so if you could arrange it so you’re shirtless when I come over....

 **Daichi:** if you want my shirt off, maybe you should do something about it yourself sugawara-san

 **Suga:** ohoo...look at you dirty talking me! are you blushing right now?

 **Daichi:** no...hush. Get back to the undressing talk

 **Suga:** you totally are

 **Daichi:** of course i am  
**Daichi:** shit i gotta go suga..i’ll see you later?

 **Suga:** as long as mai isn’t asleep on top of me i’ll be there :)

 **Daichi:** k :)

Suga sets his phone down and looks over at Mai, the smile that was already on his face growing when he sees that she’s awake, and quietly staring at nothing.

“Why do you only do this during the day?” he asks. “Where’s this bizarre peacefulness when everyone else is trying to sleep?”

Mai coos softly and Suga’s heart swells. He lies down next to her on his side, so he can brush his nose over the downy warmth of her round cheek.

“I love you, baby girl. Daddy loves you so, so much.”

It still sounds a little strange, calling himself that. He has this sense that someone will overhear him and call him out as an imposter. This ignorant, fatherless boy, pretending to be something he’s not. But even if he’s still catching up to who he is now, even if he doesn’t know quite how to fill these shoes, this perfect, dark-haired baby is his. _His daughter._ It’s funny how day after day that thought still astounds him, and frightens him, and fills him up with a wild, nameless joy. He wonders if he’ll ever stop being amazed by her existence, and if he’ll ever lose the beautiful ache in his chest at the sight of her, so small and new and innocent.

He wishes he had someone to ask.

Mai coos again and Suga lets go of his wistful thoughts. He may not have a parent to talk about these things with, but he has so much, and a lifetime ahead of him to try to find the answers to his questions in his own way.

* * *

Daichi could get used to this. Or maybe he wouldn't want to, or couldn’t, because how could this ever feel mundane? It’s something of a paradox.

But every day for the past two weeks—since the night he dropped all his feelings in front of Suga, and Suga wrapped his arms around him and told him he felt the same—he and Suga have managed to spend a little time alone together. Sometimes it’s just enough to kiss and flirt in the laundry room, and sometimes it’s a bit more. Enough to shut themselves in one of their bedrooms and make out with their whole bodies pressed together. Hands slipping up shirts while legs intertwine. Fingers trailing over tented pants and moans muffled by hungry lips.

He could (or couldn’t) get used to how much they’ve been texting, too. The innuendoes and the teasing when he’s stuck at school; the soft little notes after they’ve said goodnight and there’s a wall between them. The rows of hearts early in the morning that Daichi takes in with bleary eyes and a smile when he wakes.

He’s pretty sure he’ll actually never get used to the way Suga looks when Mai has been wailing in the middle of the night, and Daichi lets himself into the apartment next door (Kuroo doesn’t know this, but Asahi gave him a key weeks ago), and knocks softly at Suga’s bedroom. The first time he did it Suga’s eyes had gone wide, and then they’d crinkled in relief and he’d held Mai out to him, kissing his cheek before going to make some tea for them both.

Daichi had held Mai, just letting her howl as she seems to need to do at approximately 3:20am every two or three nights, and he’d thought about Suga’s face, with his soft hair loose and messy around it, a bright point in the moonlight spilling through the part in the curtains. He'd looked so sleepy and soft, so deceptively small in his giant grey sweatshirt. Daichi remembers the way Suga had touched his arm after giving him Mai, in this familiar, gentle, absent-minded way, like this was the hundredth time Daichi had been there for this, instead of the first.

He’s gone a few times since then. Only when the crying is dragging on forever and he knows it has to be wearing on Suga. And only on nights when Asahi has class early in the morning, because Asahi helps with Mai too, and Daichi knows that it’s important to him.

Kuroo, somehow, sleeps through it all.

“Some uncle you are,” Daichi tells him on Monday morning, a week into the new term at the university. They’re juniors now, and sometimes it makes Daichi feel impossibly young when he thinks about still having two years until graduation, and about how hard he’s fallen for a twenty year old father and a pink-cheeked baby girl with incredibly impressive lungs.

Kuroo waves a hand at him without looking up from the mug of coffee he’s hunched over. “That’s the whole beauty of being an uncle,” he says. “You just get to be there for the fun stuff.”

Daichi flicks his friend’s head, but he doesn’t say anything, because they both know Kuroo does more than the fun stuff even if he checks out overnight. He’s become fairly proficient at both diaper changing and bottle feeding, and since he goes over to Kenma’s so often, he’s taken on the duty of picking up anything they need from the store on his way back home.

“You grab milk last night?” Daichi asks, sitting down next to Kuroo instead of going to check for himself.

“Yeah…got some for next door, too. Stop drinking so damn much of it though. I swear to God, I buy it like twice a week.”

“I don’t drink that much,” Daichi says, even though that’s a lie. Kuroo knows it’s a lie, so it doesn’t actually count as being dishonest. “Hey…when are you gonna bring Kozume around?” he asks, mostly to change the subject, but also because he and Suga were conjecturing about this the night before (after a spectacular session of making out in the empty complex gym that ended with them both coming in their pants again). “Suga said you were thinking of it, but…”

Kuroo makes an indistinguishable whining sound, and dips his head a little lower over his coffee mug.

“How’s it going, Tetsu?”

“Don’t say that like you assume it’s bad,” Kuroo grumbles.

“You’re about to drown yourself in shitty coffee.”

Kuroo rolls his head back and lets it fall against the couch behind him. “We cuddled last night.”

Daichi waits, then nudges Kuroo with his elbow when he doesn’t elaborate. “Okay? You love cuddling.”

“Yeah…I know. But I’m really starting to think he’s maybe just like…adopted me. Like I’m just a giant cat that he’s added to his collection.”

Daichi tries valiantly to contain it for about three seconds, but then he laughs so hard he bumps Kuroo and spills coffee over his lap.

“God _dammit,”_ Kuroo gripes. “My _last_ clean jeans, Sawamura.”

Daichi cannot stop laughing. It’s not until Kuroo has stomped away to strip off his jeans and returned in just his boxers, with pink marks on his thighs from the spilled coffee, that he has managed to collect himself.

“You’re a piss poor friend,” Kuroo says.

“I’m so sorry,” Daichi tells him. He is, but he’s grinning still, and wiping his eyes, and it’s not the most convincing apology. “Seriously,” he tries again. “You okay? I’m really sorry, I’m sorry.”

“I hate you.”

“It’s just that you _are_ a giant cat, that’s why it’s so…it’s—”

“Stop it. If you laugh at me again I will punch you in the face.”

Daichi bites his lip and breathes in and out slowly a few times. “Are you okay?” he asks again, when he’s certain his voice will come out evenly.

“I’m fine. I put my jeans in your laundry basket.”

“Fine. Okay, Kuroo…come on. This can’t be that hard. What do you guys talk about all the time? How can you not know what’s happening here?”

“We talk about a lot of stuff. We…it feels like we’re becoming really good friends. That’s what’s happening. And I _like_ that, I just…he _knows_ I’m hot for him, I _told_ him, and…and I’m a fucking sweater.”

“Cat,” Daichi says helpfully.

“Sweater cat.”

“Oh my God.”

Kuroo groans and flops to the side, dropping his head on Daichi’s lap. Daichi blinks down at him and pokes him, but doesn’t force him to move. It doesn’t get much lower than being a sweater cat, after all.

“I’ll invite him over,” Kuroo says. “Even if we’re just friends, I’d like him to meet everyone.”

“You should do that. But you should also ask him how he feels. Or just ask him on an actual date, if that’s easier. You’ll get your answer either way.”

“I don’t want to be crushed. I’d rather just not know.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m allowing two more minutes of this and then I’m dropping you on the floor.”

Kuroo nods his head, pressing his stupidly pointy chin into Daichi’s leg.

“And then I want you to get a grip. You’re not a sweater, and you’re perfectly capable of relocating your balls and having an adult conversation with Kozume.”

“I _know,_ but it’s just…if I make things awkward then maybe we won’t get to be friends anymore, and I really like hanging out with him.”

“Adult conversation, Kuroo. Tell him that. You like him, he already _knows_ that, but if he doesn't feel the same way you’d still like to be friends. Boom. Done.”

“But—”

“If you’re really becoming good friends then there is no _but,_ he’s not gonna just dump you.”

Kuroo considers this, and Daichi gives him a moment to do so before bouncing his legs and jostling him. “Time’s up. Get off.”

Kuroo whines a little more, but he mumbles a _thanks_ and gets to his feet, going into the kitchen to make fresh coffee.

Daichi slips back into his room to grab his phone. Asahi starts class late today and everything is still quiet over there now, so they’ve probably all slept in. He taps the button to turn his screen on anyway, just in case, and is met with an alert for five messages from Suga.

 **Suga:** morning daichi  
**Suga:** i need to talk to you about something  
**Suga:** it’s not remotely serious  
**Suga:** but you have sneakily avoided the dance lesson you PROMISED to take part in for weeks  
**Suga:** and I’m not having it anymore

 **Daichi:** i don’t remember promising?

 **Suga:** u calling me a liar?

 **Daichi:** you are sleep deprived...could amount to the same thing

 **Suga:** (￣ヘ￣)  
**Suga:** daichoooo

 **Daichi:** that’s the least effective tactic you could use to convince me

 **Suga:** i want to see your bad dancing

 **Daichi:** not a winner either

 **Suga:** it will make me happy

 **Daichi:** better, but also vaguely insulting

 **Suga:** lol...i’m a good teacher, daichi, give me some credit. i’ll help you!  
**Suga:** i can be hands on, too. if you think that approach would...yield results  
**Suga:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **Daichi:** oh my god  
**Daichi:** okay fine keep going, you’re on the right track

 **Suga:** i’ve been practicing alone when everyone’s out so i don’t become a useless lump, and it’s lonely and lame and i want you to dance with meeee  
**Suga:** it will be fun and you’ll look good. i’ll make sure of it.  
**Suga:** and i’ll happily grope you unnecessarily  
**Suga:** in fact just try to stop me

 **Daichi:** when

 **Suga:** (((o(*°▽°*)o)))  
**Suga:** today? you’re not working after class today are you?

 **Daichi:** nope...i’ll be home a little after 3

 **Suga:** perfect. wear your pink shirt.

 **Daichi:** no  
**Daichi:** im already regretting this

 **Suga:** see you later boyfriend

 **Daichi:** you’re not allowed to dump me after this

 **Suga:** oh my god i’m so exciteddkfksldlwll

Daichi laughs and very purposefully does not respond to this last message. He doesn’t really mind embarrassing himself in front of Suga that much—he’s been doing it since the moment they met, after all, and it hasn’t been a problem—but he’s pretty sure there’s no way in hell Suga’s actually going to be able to save him from being a terrible dancer.

He does find himself a little nervous by the time he gets home from class and has changed into track pants and a plain white t-shirt, but he’s not certain if it’s nerves or just anticipation. Because yes, he will be dancing badly, but Suga will also be there. Dancing like Suga.

 **Daichi:** suga’s going to attempt to teach me to dance  
**Daichi:** i’m thinking about that music video i watched and have realized i might die?

 **Kuroo:** alskdjfk...he’s not gonna expect you to be able to dance like him

 **Daichi:** no no i know..obviously i’ll suck  
**Daichi:** but HE will be sexy af  
**Daichi:** i might have a heart attack

 **Kuroo:** ohhhh  
**Kuroo:** yeah maybe  
**Kuroo:** can i watch?

 **Daichi:** of course not

 **Kuroo:** you realize there’s no keeping me away...i’ll be heading home in a bit

 **Daichi:** kuroo do not  
**Daichi:** do NOT

 **Kuroo:** i couldn’t live with myself if you worked your little buns off learning a pop routine and I wasn’t there to support and applaud you

 **Daichi:** i’ll kill you

 **Kuroo:** you won’t though ( ´ ω ` )  
**Kuroo:** also cool your jets my lad...aren’t you two banging anyway? you should be able to handle him dancing

 **Daichi:** we’re not...banging

 **Kuroo:** really?  
**Kuroo:** you’re definitely doing something. the walls are thin, friend

 **Daichi:** oh my god...of course we’re doing something i am not suga’s sweater cat

 **Kuroo:** wow  
**Kuroo:** that was unkind

 **Daichi:** yeah. it was

 **Kuroo:** i notice you’re not offering an apology

 **Daichi:** you're not a goddamn sweater cat either kuroo

 **Kuroo:** right. okay.  
**Kuroo:** okay yes  
**Kuroo:** I am MANNING UP daichi...watch me

 **Daichi:** I'm gonna go watch suga now actually  
**Daichi:** but I'll check in on your progress later

 **Kuroo:** make me proud twinkle toes!!

 **Daichi:** fuck toy  
**Daichi:** oh my god toy  
**Daichi:** YOU wtf why does it keep correcting it to that???

 **Kuroo:** alsjfiekfkk  
**Kuroo:** I'm crying omfg

 **Daichi:** FUCK YOU

 **Kuroo:** what kind of fuck toy daichi?

 **Daichi:** I'm leaving now

 **Kuroo:** inquiring minds want to know!!

Daichi shoves his phone in his pocket and leaves his room, going straight from his apartment to Suga’s so they can walk down to the gym together. Daichi suggested they just do it at home, but Suga insists on making use of the mirrored walls in the gym. Daichi’s pretty sure this is just so his lack of skill can be viewable from multiple angles at once.

He knocks on the door and Suga opens it a few moments later, with the baby curled against his chest.

“Is Mai-chan dancing with us?” Daichi asks with a smile. She has her ‘I heart metal’ onesie on, and it’s somehow gotten smaller on her even though she’s still the size of a bunny.

“Sleeping through it, ideally. Can you carry that?” Suga asks, nodding towards Mai’s little vibrating chair. “She should be good in there. She doesn’t get fussy until closer to six, and loud music seems to relax her.”

“Wow, is she your daughter or what?” Daichi grins, stooping to grab the chair, and then following Suga out and closing the door behind them.

“Definitely my daughter,” Suga says. He gets that little smile when he says it, the very particular one Daichi only ever sees on him when he’s looking at Mai. It makes his chest warm every single time. It makes him think of his dad laughing and lifting him up on his shoulders at summer fireworks festivals, and his mom brushing his hair out of his eyes just before kissing his forehead at night.  

In the gym, he gets Mai settled in her seat, while Suga plugs in a portable bluetooth speaker and pulls up a playlist on his phone.

“It’s Hikaru, isn’t it,” Daichi says, before Suga can press play.

“It will be,” Suga says. “But first…” He taps his phone and a vaguely sexy dance track Daichi's heard on the radio comes on. “What happens if I just put some music on and ask you to dance?”

“Nothing good.”

“Let’s just try.”

“I promise, it’s really nothing you need to see.”

“You can’t be that bad!” Suga laughs, stepping closer so he can tug at the front of Daichi’s shirt. “I _know_ you can move those hips,” he adds slyly.

“That’s…that’s different,” Daichi mumbles, pulling Suga right up against himself and ducking his face into his hair.

“It’s not, really. It means you’re capable of moving fluidly,” Suga says, holding Daichi’s hips and guiding them along with the beat, following with his own pressed against him. “Rhythmically.”

“Suga…I don’t know what kind of self control you think I have, but…” Daichi’s fingers tighten against Suga’s waist, wanting both to pull him even closer, and to push him back before he really starts to respond to the warmth of Suga's body.

“Focus, Sawamura,” Suga says sternly, with a hint of a purr in his voice that guarantees a complete and utter lack of focus for Daichi. “Pay attention to what you’re doing right now.”

Daichi _is,_ but he knows Suga doesn’t mean the things he’s paying attention to. He manages to refocus enough to take note of the way Suga’s body is directing his, the way they sink into each sway of their hips. “I’m a slow learner. We might need to just keep doing this.”

“Nice try. I’m stepping back now. You keep moving.”

“Oh, God.”

Suga lets go of him and Daichi immediately becomes stiff and awkward, unsure of what to do with his hands or how his feet should be moving. He can’t find that fluidity that comes so easily when Suga’s in his arms, can’t really do much of anything other than resort to bad, clichéd dance moves when his own stilted shuffling gets old.

“ _No,”_ Suga says, smiling so hard it looks like it might hurt when Daichi gives up entirely and starts dabbing.

“You asked for this, Sugawara.”

“Stop it, oh my God you’re the dorkiest!” Suga squeals.

Daichi responds with some aggressive arm pumping and chest thrusting that girls seem to do a lot in hip hop videos, and Suga dissolves into hysterics, dropping to his knees and hiding his face in his hands.

“Hey,” Daichi says, nudging Suga’s shaking form with his foot. “You’re gonna hurt my feelings.”

“You’re _terrible,”_ Suga says, looking up at him with watering eyes.

“I am,” Daichi agrees. “Can we go back to the first part of the lesson? That was nice.”

“Mm-mm,” Suga says, shaking his head and then wiping his eyes. “I know what I’m working with now.”

“A really shitty dancer.”

“Someone who can move well with instruction.”

“That sounds…overly optimistic.”

“Nope! Even terrible dancers can learn choreography, Sawamura.”

Daichi doesn’t know if this is true in all cases, but Suga has waved him off and bent forward to stretch now, spreading his legs wide and…and…

“Daichi?”

“Huh?” Daichi says. His entire world has very rapidly shrunk down to the curve of Suga’s back and the way his shirt rides up the farther he leans, pulling taut against the breadth of his shoulders.

Suga just shakes his head with a smile and a hint of a blush. Once he gets back to his feet they both check on Mai, who is completely out, and then Suga changes the music to a Hikaru song Daichi doesn’t know.

“Watch me first,” he says, moving to the most open area of the gym, in front of the mirror.

This is an extremely easy direction for Daichi to follow. He watches every motion, every precise step and practiced movement of hands and arms and hips. He gets lost in the squeak-squeak of Suga’s shoes on the floor, and before long he barely even notices the music at all, and then not even Suga’s body, because holy _God,_ Suga’s face is beautiful when he dances. There’s a hint of a smile there the whole time, contained in the corners of his lips like a secret. It spreads over his face like sunlight when the song reaches the bridge, and as Daichi watches him move, watches him feeling every bit of the song and turning it into joy and motion, he thinks again that Suga is maybe actually music itself.

“God, sorry,” Suga says when the song ends, and immediately starts playing again. “That was really rusty.”

“That was…what? _No,”_ Daichi tells him with a shake of his head. “That was amazing. You’re…amazing. You really love it, don’t you?”

“I do! It’s like…I don’t know, it just feels so good, you know? I really am rusty though. You should see Keiji and Tobio. It’s like they’re not even human.”

“They must not be, if they’re somehow better than you.”

Suga grins and reaches for him, pulling him closer to the mirror. “Flatterer. It’s not gonna make me go easy on you.”

This is true. Suga is firm and focused once he starts teaching Daichi, counting out steps and repeating motions patiently when Daichi does them completely backwards. After some time, though, he finds that it’s really not so different from his workouts at the gym when he has Suga instructing him. There are directions to follow, muscles to work, his heart thudding in his chest.

“Goddammit, Sawamura,” a familiar, drawling voice calls out just after Daichi has gone through his first continuous run of the entire routine with Suga next to him. “I brought Kenma to see you making a fool of yourself, and here you are actually _dancing.”_

Daichi wipes the sweat out of his eyes and turns to see Kuroo leaning against the open gym door, with Kenma peering in under his arm. He looks about the same as he always did in biology, except his hair is pulled out of his eyes with a clip, and he’s wearing Kuroo’s sweatshirt. Which seems…both appropriate and hilarious, given the earlier sweater cat discussion.

“Language,” Daichi says by habit, even though Mai is still fast asleep. They all glance over at her, also by habit, and Kenma follows their eyes, a mild look of surprise touching his face when he finds the baby next to the treadmills.

“Uh…” he says, his low voice barely audible with the pop music still blaring.

It shuts off suddenly and Suga pockets his phone, stepping forward. “Kozume-kun! We’ve heard so…much…” He trails off as Kuroo’s eyes widen and he makes a few desperate hand motions behind Kenma’s back. “About you?” Suga finishes.  

Kuroo hangs his head, and Daichi rolls his eyes.

“It’s nice to see you again, Kozume,” he says. “This is Sugawara Koushi,” he nods towards Suga, “and his daughter, Mai-chan.”

“Hello,” Kenma says with a little nod of his head. “We didn’t mean to interrupt you.”

“Yes we did,” Kuroo says. “I was hoping it’d be more embarrassing though.”

“You’re disgraceful,” Kenma says, drawing a snort from Daichi and a smile from Kuroo.

“Been saying that for years,” Daichi tells him. “Kozume, are you joining us for dinner?”

“You don’t have to,” Kuroo says quickly. “If you don’t—”

“I’d like that, if you don't mind,” Kenma says, nudging Kuroo with his elbow and probably exploding a few synapses in his brain with his words, if the look on Kuroo's face is any indication.

Suga looks just as happy as he assures Kenma that they don't mind at all, which causes a bit of a surprising response somewhere in Daichi’s chest. A fullness that he can only assume is a result of his boyfriend caring so much about his best friend. Which probably _isn’t_ that surprising, it’s just that Daichi is quite good at acting like Kuroo hasn’t become one of the most important things in his life.

Which, for the sake of preventing further expansion of Kuroo’s ego, should probably remain the case. Especially in light of what follows, when Suga drags Kuroo over to join them, and the son of a bitch acts like he’s been dancing his whole goddamn life. Picking up on Suga’s steps with infuriating ease, and moving with a kind of grace Daichi couldn’t ever hope to exhibit himself.

“ _Good,_ Kuroo,” Suga says, when he’s all but caught up entirely with Daichi’s progress in a quarter of the time.

Kenma is sitting on the floor next to Mai, his knees bent in front of him. He alternates between shooting her nervous glances and following Kuroo’s movements with steady golden eyes, smiling for the first time just then, when Suga praises Kuroo, and Kuroo is too distracted trying not to lose his place to be cocky about it. Just grinning like a proud little boy instead.

Daichi decides right there, when he sees the way Kenma’s eyes crinkle at the corners, and the fond lift at the edges of his lips, that Kuroo is probably, almost definitely, not just a sweater cat.

(He unfortunately becomes further convinced of this when they reach the sexier part of the routine and he catches a glimpse of Kenma out of the corner of his eye, his cheeks gone pink as he watches Kuroo so intensely Daichi’s surprised Kuroo isn’t blushing, too.)

“Okay, okay,” Daichi says, when the song has wound down once more. “No more. I’m j-pop’d out.”

“You’re doing so well, Daichi!” Suga says.

“I’m hungry.”

Suga smiles and finally stops the music. Not two seconds later Mai makes an unhappy noise, and then abruptly starts crying.

“Ah,” Suga says. “Must be 6:00. Would you mind grabbing her Kozume-kun? I’m all sweaty.”

Kenma’s eyes widen. He does not make the slightest move to pick up the baby, but when she manages to get louder a moment later he does shuffle slightly farther away from her.

“She doesn’t bite, Ken-chan,” Kuroo tells him with a smile, stooping to get her out of her seat. “She’ll just irreparably fuck with your hearing and possibly yak on your shirt.”

“Nice, Kuroo,” Suga says, snapping a towel at the back of his head.

“Tell me it’s not true,” he counters, straightening back up with Mai in his arms. Suga just flicks him again, since of course it is. “Look at her though…does it get any fucking cuter?”

“Language,” everyone says, Kenma included, though even he looks a little surprised at himself.

Kuroo repents and they all gather their things, Suga and Daichi trailing behind to shut off the lights in the gym. Daichi tries to walk faster to close the distance between them, but Suga catches his hand, holding him back.

“Wha—”

“Give them a little space. So we can overhear them without being obvious.”

Right. Daichi should have thought of that. They walk behind them slowly, listening to the cooing sounds Kuroo is making at Mai.

“Do you…like babies?” Kenma asks.

“Of course!” Kuroo says. “They’re so pure and adorable…like a living cat meme.”

Kenma laughs softly. “I guess. They’re very loud though.”

“Well, yeah.”

“And unpredictable.”

Kuroo nods, ducking his head, presumably to nose at Mai’s hair.

“And kind of terrifying?” Kenma says, a little uncertainly. Daichi and Suga exchange glances, and he’s pretty sure Suga’s thinking the same thing—this isn't really just small talk that they're listening in on.

“God, _aren’t they?"_ Kuroo replies fervently. "I’m hoping everyone I know has a bunch of them so I can always play with them, and never actually be responsible for one.”

“Hm,” Kenma says, his steps weaving so he winds up a little closer to Kuroo. “That doesn’t sound terrible.”

“You mean it sounds _excellent,_ Ken-chan. All the perks, none of the debilitating fear. You know Mai sneezed last week and I lost like two years off my life?”

Daichi presses his laugh into his hand so it won’t be obvious he’s eavesdropping. He hears Kenma laughing quietly again, sees him lean into Kuroo’s side just a little.

“A match made in heaveeen,” Suga singsongs in a whisper.

Daichi slings an arm around his shoulder and shushes him, tugging gently on his ponytail.

It does seem to be a successful evening, though. Asahi is home when they get back to their apartments, and they all work together to scrape up a meal for five, while taking turns trying to make Mai happy.

Kenma is quiet but watchful, always paying attention to the conversation, and very occasionally interjecting with some wry comment that makes them all laugh. Daichi has wondered how someone so quiet could put up with all Kuroo’s endless conversation and general dumbassery, but now he has the sense that maybe Kenma likes it this way. Likes listening and observing, and is probably perfectly capable of shutting Kuroo up if he grows tired of that.  

“I think,” Suga says, when Kuroo and Kenma have left to go play videogames in Kenma’s dorm, Asahi has kindly volunteered to get Mai into her pajamas, and the two of them are standing outside Daichi’s door, “that Kenma looked at Kuroo an awful lot tonight for someone who thinks of him as a sweater.”

“Or a cat.

“Hmm?”

“He’s also afraid Kenma thinks of him as a giant cat.”

Suga finds this as hilarious as Daichi did, which is very gratifying, and also makes him want to kiss him. He captures Suga’s smiling lips, threading his hands through his hair to hold him close. “I couldn’t stop looking at you,” he murmurs.

“You had to, I was showing you what to do.”

“Is that why you were watching me?” Daichi asks. “Because you had to see if I was doing it right?”

Suga hums and shakes his head before pressing a warm kiss to Daichi’s chin. “I love watching you…your body is a gift.”

Daichi feels his face heat up and he presses his cheek to Suga’s, knowing he’ll feel it too, and really not caring.

“I love that you danced with me,” Suga continues.

“Well…it wasn’t so bad.”

“Does that mean you’ll do it again?”

“Eh…” Daichi grunts, shrugging with his arms still tight around Suga’s back.

Suga laughs and Daichi can feel his smile against his skin, because of course he knows Daichi will. And Daichi knows he will. And he’s really glad that somehow this has become his life.

* * *

It’s been weeks since Suga spent so much time dancing. He’s wiped out when he finally changes into an old t-shirt and stretches out beside Mai. He wants to think about Daichi, and how alternately silly and adorable and sexy he was tonight. How good natured he always is, and how that didn’t falter even with Suga subjecting him to something new and at least a little uncomfortable, with the same bubblegum pop playing over and over again in the background. He wants to think about the way his shirt started to cling to his back, and how he’d laughed at himself so genuinely when he messed up, but Suga’s so, so tired. So instead he just thinks of Daichi’s arms around him, his lips brushing Suga’s cheek when he said goodnight, and he sleeps.

He sleeps without dreaming, without moving, and when he wakes to Mai crying he’s still in the same position, and even more tired.

“Mai…baby,” he croons, stroking her head. “It’s okay, Mai-chan, go back to sleep.”

This phrase has never worked before. It does not work now. He manages to sit up and check her diaper, and then pulls her onto his chest, hoping she’ll pass out again and give him another hour before he has to make a bottle. She will not be soothed though, and he doesn’t want her to wake everyone else up, so he forces himself out of bed.

Once she’s fed and changed they settle down again, and Suga wants to cry a little when he sees how completely, terrifyingly wide awake she looks. “Mai…why.”

There is no reason, at least not one he’ll ever know. She lies there quiet and content for a little while, and Suga drifts off, but then she starts to cry again, only calming slightly when he gets to his feet and walks around the room with her. She falls asleep after far too long and Suga puts her back in bed. He's out almost immediately, and then…she cries again.

Suga’s head is pounding and still so thick with sleep. He tries to hold her little hand, but she’s flinging it around as her cries get louder, and he knows he’ll have to get up again. This isn’t that different from most other nights, he’s just _so tired_ tonight, and—

“Go back to sleep,” a voice says, low and reassuring.

He looks up to see that Daichi has come in, so quiet and practiced he didn’t even notice. “That never works,” he mumbles, and Daichi smiles, smoothing a hand through Suga’s tousled hair.

“ _You,_ Koushi. Get some rest, I’m here.”

Suga thinks he should probably argue. Daichi has class in the morning, and if he’s come in now he’s probably been awake this whole time, listening to see if Mai would settle down again. But Daichi kisses his forehead and picks Mai up, and Suga just closes his eyes. He knows Mai is still crying, knows that if she’s crying even while being held she’s probably in one of those moods where she’ll be crying for an hour no matter what. But he knows she’s safe and his head is spinning, so without quite intending to he falls asleep again with his face mashed into his pillow.

He moves in and out of sleep, dimly aware of Mai crying each time he drifts close to consciousness, and then catching the calming murmur of Daichi’s voice and letting himself slip away again. He doesn’t know how many times this has happened when he wakes once more to only the little hiccups left over from a crying jag that has finally worn itself out, and the low hum of music, something soft and deep. An unfamiliar tune in a familiar voice.

_“I'll stand my ground, won't be turned around. And I'll keep this world from draggin' me down. Gonna…stand my ground.”_

Suga doesn’t know the song, isn’t even sure what all the words mean, but he loves the way it sounds. So low and soothing, with a measured, lazy lilt. He opens his eyes slowly and finds Daichi across the room, turned toward the window so Suga can just see his profile, head tilted down to the baby held to his chest. One hand supports her, and the other cups the back of her head while he takes slow steps from side to side.

“ _Hey, baby, there ain't no easy way out. Hey, yeah, I will…stand my ground, and I won't back down.”_

Suga wants to say something. To sit up and tell Daichi how grateful he is, and how lovely Daichi's voice is when he sings. Not quite as deep as his speaking voice, but rumbling and pleasant and nostalgic somehow. Irresistibly relaxing, so it’s all Suga can do to keep his eyes from closing, just watching silently while Daichi dances slowly with his daughter.

“ _Well I know what's right, I got just one life…in a world that keeps on pushin' me around,_ _but I'll stand my ground.”_

So this is the kind of music Daichi likes, Suga thinks with a smile. It’s so fitting. So straightforward and steady and exactly, wonderfully Daichi.

“ _Hey, I will stand my ground, and I won't back down. No, I won't back down.”_

Finally the little hiccups fade away, replaced by the snuffling breaths of an overtired baby. Daichi kisses the top of her head and keeps rocking gently from side to side, humming low so Mai can still feel it where she rests with her face against his shoulder. 

“That's my girl,” he tells her, his voice hushed but still audible in the silence of the room. “You're okay, Baby Mai…I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere.”

A tear slips from Suga’s sleepy eyes, and then another, and another. He never had this, this soft, patient affection. This certainty and safety. He didn’t know if fathers were really like this, or if that was only in stories and sappy movies. But here is this boy, this man, who says he’s falling in love with him, who knows how to care for his daughter in a way Suga hasn’t experienced, has only dreamed of. And he’s real. He’s steady, and beautiful, and real.

Suga wishes he could watch him forever, but he sees him still, even when he can’t keep his eyes open anymore. He sees his wide, sturdy shoulders and his soft mouth, and he hears him even once he’s fallen asleep. A voice like clear water and stones worn smooth with time, calm and strong and right. Just the way Suga always feels with Daichi beside him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daichi is of course singing (a softer, slower rendition of) [I Won't Back Down](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2h9HPZhqHE), by the late, great Tom Petty ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ♪ ♡


	11. Chapter 11

Suga wakes to a quiet, sunny room, and a baby who was up far too much the night before sleeping peacefully next to him. Daichi is gone, probably already in class now, and Suga has to think for a moment to be sure the hazy images of him being there in the night are real memories, and not just a dream. That song is still in his head though, the one he didn’t know before, and when he leans over to kiss Mai’s head he finds Daichi’s scent has clung to her. The soft spice of his deodorant and the mint of his mouthwash.

 **Suga:** Sawamura Daichi

 **Daichi:** yes?

 **Suga:** thank you  <3

 **Daichi:** :) you don’t need to thank me  
**Daichi:** how are you guys? I thought maybe mai would sleep in

 **Suga:** she did! she’s still out..i just woke up  
**Suga:** and i do need to. i was having such a hard time staying awake last night and i really appreciate your help  
**Suga:** also  
**Suga:** whaaat were you singing?

 **Daichi:** when?

 **Suga:** to Mai...I woke up and you were singing

 **Daichi:** hm...nope i don’t think so

 **Suga:** daichi

 **Daichi:** yes suga?

 **Suga:** are you lying to me?

 **Daichi:** yes i am :P  
**Daichi:** I sang some bob dylan and tom petty...i don’t know when you heard me. i *thought* you were sleeping

 **Suga:** i mostly was xD  
**Suga:** what...do you think i’m going to tease you?

 **Daichi:** for my penchant for dusty old American rock? probably?

 **Suga:** lol...i liked it!! i loved you singing it  
**Suga:** it was really comforting

 **Daichi:** yeah? my dad played it a lot so i guess it just sounds safe and familiar to me

 **Suga:** daichi

 **Daichi:** you really like saying my name don’t you

 **Suga:** i do...i like the way you smile when i say it

 **Daichi:** but you can’t see me now

 **Suga:** i guess you’ll have to do something about that  
**Suga:** also you interrupted me

 **Daichi:** i didn’t...you just said daichi and nothing else

 **Suga:** i wasn’t finished  
**Suga:** well maybe i was  
**Suga:** i think i just want to kiss you

 **Daichi:** haha...well, i’m in anatomy right now unfortunately

 **Suga:** how fitting

 **Daichi:** :p  
**Daichi:** but...kuroo will be at kenma’s tonight so...if you want to come over?

 **Suga:** yes! as long as it works for Asahi

 **Daichi:** we can hang out with mai if not  
**Daichi:** less kissing, but more squishing her cheeks

 **Suga:** :D aren’t they getting deliciously fat?

 **Daichi:** she’s pretty insanely cute  
**Daichi:** but so are you, so...

 **Suga:** you dork

 **Daichi:** it’s true

 **Suga:** dammit why does your cheese work on me so well...now i want to kiss you more

 **Daichi:** (￣◡￣)

 **Suga:**  bahaha  
**Suga:** get your shameless kissable face out of here  
**Suga:** i’ll see you tonight

 **Daichi:** see you later koushi

 **Suga:** later (´ ε ` )♡

 **Daichi:** (that face is ridiculous)

 **Suga:** it’s cute!

 **Daichi:** the lips look like a sideways ass

 **Suga:** alkdhfklsdg  
**Suga:** omfg daichi

 **Daichi:** just saying

 **Suga:** i’m gonna kick your ass tonight for ruining my cute kissy face

 **Daichi:** is that really what you want to do to my ass?

 **Suga:** Σ(O_O)

 **Daichi:** ( ˙꒳˙ )

 **Suga:** there’s a fucking ass on that face too!!!

 **Daichi:** hahahaha  
**Daichi:** i gotta go

 **Suga:** we are not finished talking about doing things to your ass

 **Daichi:** tonight

 **Suga:** sawamura!

 **Daichi:** <3

 **Suga:** i hate you  <333

Suga rolls over to see Mai still lost in sleep, so he stays in bed too, answering emails and then sending updated baby pictures to Tooru and the rest of the boys. Koutarou replies immediately with unintelligible yelling in all caps, and Suga laughs out loud, imagining his boisterous friend pounding the message out with Keiji sitting nearby and calmly suggesting he take a moment to watch where his fingers are going. He misses them both so much sometimes. All of them, even though he knows some of them are still a little angry at him for leaving. That’s how he knows how important they are in his life. Because they’re upset, but they still text him and support him and love him. He thinks that’s probably what real family does.

After Mai wakes he feeds and changes her, and then slowly gets some cleaning up and laundry done, but he’s still thinking about his friends—Tooru especially. It’s too strange, how much has changed since the last time he saw them. It’s too weird to have not shared any of it with Tooru.

 **Suga:** hey! you!

 **Tooru:** kou-chan!! I just saw your pictures oh my god  
**Tooru:** have her eyelashes grown like an inch??

 **Suga:** maybe..i don’t know i don’t understand how beautiful she is  
**Suga:** tooru    
**Suga:** I HATE how long it’s been since i saw you

 **Tooru:** akhdskgh  
**Tooru:** me too!!!  
**Tooru:** i was going to tell you tonight buuuuut…  
**Tooru:** i just got it worked out this morning

 **Suga:** what????

 **Tooru:** (o´▽`o)  
**Tooru:** Iwa-chan and i are coming in two weeks!!!

 **Suga:** TOORU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Tooru:** :DDDDDD  
**Tooru:** are you happy? is that okay? we can only stay one night but i’m so so so excited to see you and baby-chan and your cute neighbors!

 **Suga:**  YES!!! yes yes i’m so happy!!  
**Suga:** oh my god i yelled when you told me and now Mai is looking at me like i’m just the weirdest dumbest thing

 **Tooru:** ahahaa  
**Tooru:** kiss her colossal cheeks for me please and tell her uncle tooru will be there to spoil the hell out of her soooon  
**Tooru:** it’s a little less than 2 weeks actually! I wanted to catch her two month birthday XD that’s the 16th right??

 **Suga:** ahfladhf yes :))))  
**Suga:** and i will!

 **Tooru:** also know that if it had been possible, everyone really wanted to come. even chibi-chan

 **Suga:** aaahaha...i hope i’ll get a chance to meet him soon  
**Suga:** tell everyone i love them!

 **Tooru:** done  <3333 i’ll text you our travel info later today!

 **Suga:** k!!  <3

Suga sets his phone aside and kisses Mai’s cheeks, twice on each one. And then again.

“I’m happy, Mai-chan,” he says, tickling her round belly gently. “Are you happy?” Mai wriggles and coos, and he kisses her again. “We’re really lucky, you and I.”

Mai doesn’t technically give any sign of agreement, but she doesn’t disagree either. She’s certainly capable of voicing displeasure, even if she isn’t old enough for laughter and intentional smiles yet, so Suga counts this solidly as an acknowledgment of understanding.

The rest of the day is quiet and uneventful, until dinnertime when Mai predictably shifts from tranquil and content, to irritable and unbelievably loud. Suga and Asahi take turns trying to distract her from her misery, while also putting a meal together that winds up burnt.

“Fuck,” Suga says, poking at the singed pork loins on the stove.

“Language,” Asahi says softly, as if Mai could even hear him over her own hollering. “It’s okay...we’ll just eat the rice.”

“We overcooked it.”

“Oh. Well…I um…I know someone who delivers pizzas?” Asahi says, with a pleased little smile.

Suga beams at him. “You do, don’t you? Perhaps you could give him a call.”

Asahi needs no further prodding, which in itself is such huge progress it more than makes up for their failed dinner. Forty-five minutes later Mai is crying again, but they have a hot pizza, and an extremely accommodating delivery boy. Noya orders them to eat while he holds the baby, bouncing her around the kitchen and making such silly faces for her that she finally forgets to be unhappy and just stares at him instead, mesmerized by the bright strip of blond hair in his bangs.

“God, she’s cute, huh?” Noya says. “Hell of a set of lungs, too.”

“Well, her Daddy’s a singer,” Asahi says, and Noya looks over at Suga curiously while Suga shoots Asahi a look. “I mean…”

“Yeah? Like, you _can_ sing, or like that’s literally what you do for a living?”

“I did,” Suga says, waving a hand at Asahi, because what’s done is done, and he really doesn’t think Noya is going to go running to the press to spill the whole sordid story. “Do you know Hikaru?”

Noya definitely does know Hikaru.

“Oh my God!” he says, after Suga has given him a brief rundown of his history. “You were the one who had the little star gem by your eye, right? I can’t believe I forgot about that!”

Suga laughs, unconsciously touching his fingers to the mole at the corner of his left eye. Over the years his hair and makeup changed frequently, but the gems were a constant, and in their first year it was always a star. “Yep, that was me. That was when we first debuted.”

“Yeah! Dude…it was that first music video that fully confirmed for me how aggressively gay I am.”

Asahi chokes quietly on his pizza, but manages to recover fairly quickly while Noya laughs and slaps his back.

“You were all playing around on the beach,” he goes on, once Asahi seems fine, “and then there was this dance break where the tide was coming in? And it was splashing up on you guys? And holy shit, I swear it was my sexual awakening. I was fifteen and I was like ‘This…this is what does it for me.’”

Asahi has curled over with his face in his hands, and Suga finds himself speechless as well, but only because he’s so overcome with delight.

“Noya-san,” he says. “That is the most deeply satisfying feedback I’ve ever been given.”

“Suga!” Asahi gasps.

“ _What?”_ Suga and Noya ask at the same time.

“That’s…you’re both…oh my _God,”_ Asahi groans. “Couldn’t you have just said thank you?”

Suga does, once he and Noya have stopped laughing. He tells Noya about how terribly sunburned Tobio got that day, and how their legs had ached from filming take after take running through the sand. How Koutarou twisted his ankle in a tide pool, and Tooru dropped a popsicle down the back of Hajime’s shirt and almost came away with a black eye.

“You all look so perfect and happy in the video!” Noya laughs. “I mean I know that’s not real, but you’d never know there was all that chaos in the background.”

“There’s always chaos,” Suga says. “But we _were_ happy, even though it was a lot of work. We were so excited to be finished training and finally getting out there.”

“Do you miss it?” Noya asks, reaching past Asahi to grab another slice of pizza and brushing against his chest—quite intentionally, Suga is sure. Asahi goes pink but he doesn’t pull away, and Suga barely contains his pride and joy.

“Hmm…yes and no,” he says, shooting a little smile in Asahi’s direction. “I miss the guys, and the activity, but…being an idol was never really…it wasn't all I wanted.”

Noya nods his head like this makes perfect sense, and their conversation drifts into other topics until Mai starts crying too loudly to talk over. Suga uses the opportunity to excuse himself and give Noya and Asahi some time alone, taking her into their room and singing to her until he hears Noya calling out a goodbye.

“It was good to see you!” Suga tells him, going out to the living room with Mai curled up in his arm.

“You too! And hey…I won’t like, say anything to anyone. About you and Mai-chan.”

“I know,” Suga says warmly. “Thanks, Noya-san.”

Noya gives him a bright smile and a nod, and Suga slips back into his room so they can say goodbye to each other without him watching.

Not without him listening, though. He is 99% sure he hears kissing before Noya leaves, and it takes a tremendous amount of willpower to not run out and talk to Asahi about it. His friend goes into his own room, and Suga stays where he is, leaving him to do whatever processing he needs to. He’s afraid that if he does say something, Asahi will be too self conscious to ever kiss in the apartment again, and he certainly doesn’t want that for him.

By the time Suga finally hears the rattle and thunk of Daichi’s door opening and closing, it’s grown dark outside, and Mai has blessedly just finished a bottle. She’s now fast asleep in the middle of the futon, and Suga is ready to make good on his text message earlier and go kiss his boyfriend.

 **Suga:** Asahi...my dearest friend

 **Asahi:** I’ll be there in a second...go ahead

 **Suga:** i love you

 **Asahi:** I know :) Say hi to daichi for me

 **Suga:** :))))

Suga has just pulled back his hair and kissed Mai’s cheek when Asahi knocks softly on his bedroom door, as if that is possibly a necessity. He comes in a moment later with a book in hand, ready to read next to Mai until Suga gets back.

“Please remember you and Daichi share a wall,” he says.

Suga is well aware of this. One of his favorite things over the past few weeks has been learning the little noises Daichi makes in his room as he gets ready for bed, and especially the sound of him settling in under the covers.

“You say I’m not a slut, but then you always feel the need to give me these warnings…”

“Hush,” Asahi says. “There’s nothing wrong with whatever you guys are doing. I just don’t want to hear it.”

“We haven’t had—”

“Don’t want to hear it!”

“Sex.”

“ _Suga!”_

“Yet.”

Asahi purses his lips and glares at Suga with his hands over his ears, his book having been dropped to the floor. Suga blows him a kiss and hightails it before his friend can change his mind about baby-sitting.

He knocks on Daichi’s door, waiting for the muffled “Come in!” Daichi calls out before stepping inside.

Daichi is right there in the middle of the living room in his neon green shirt. Somehow, inexplicably, he looks beautiful in it. Or perhaps in spite of it. In any case, his hair is mussed and his smile is warm, and Suga finds himself unbearably happy all at once that Asahi moved in next to this boy, and that he moved in with Asahi. That he held Daichi’s hand in a dingy little laundry room and made the choice to give all of this a chance.

“What?” Daichi says.

“Huh?”

“You’re looking at me like…like…what are you looking at me like?”

“It’s possible I was feeling sappy again today.”

“Ah,” Daichi says, a shy, pleased smile tugging at his lips. “So you’re thinking sappy things?”

Suga hums, flipping the lock on the front door and walking closer to Daichi. “Could be.”

“Do I get to hear them?”

“Maybe,” Suga says, tucking his fingers into the loose pockets of Daichi’s gym shorts. “If you play your cards right.”

Daichi grins and wraps his arms behind Suga’s back, pulling him in close to his chest. “I’ll tell you mine, if you tell me yours,” he murmurs, in a rough whisper that sends a lovely shiver skipping along Suga’s spine.

“We have to be quiet,” he says, turning them both so he can tug Daichi towards his room with his hands still curled in his shorts. “Asahi’s in my room with Mai.”

“Out here then?” Daichi suggests. “Kuroo’s with Kenma, and…the couch has served us well before.”

There’s a bright flush in his cheeks, and Suga feels an answering blossom of heat in his stomach at the thought of that night on his couch, the first time they moved a step further. Daichi’s body pressed to his, muscled and powerful, and then so warm and heavy after he’d brought himself to orgasm against Suga’s hip. They’ve only managed to get off together a couple times since then, but tonight it seems like the odds are in their favor, and Suga really wouldn’t mind taking another new step.

He nods his head and lets Daichi lead him to the couch instead, watches him with heavy-lidded eyes as he presses Suga down on his back and straddles his hips. He swallows audibly when Daichi starts to strip off his shirt, peeling the tight green fabric up over impossibly defined abs. Once it’s been wrestled off with Suga’s help and tossed to the floor, he finds himself entirely speechless at the breadth of Daichi’s bare shoulders, and the firm, tanned planes of his chest. It’s one thing seeing him with his shirt pushed up under his arms, and quite another seeing him with no shirt at all, which has only happened once before now.

“You,” he says, “are so goddamn beautiful.”

Daichi looks like he may want to argue with this, but Suga doesn't give him a chance. He pulls him down and Daichi sinks into him willingly, lips parting and tongue slipping out to flick over Suga’s. Moaning softly when Suga grazes his hands from the base of his spine up to the smooth lines of his shoulder blades, reveling in all that bare skin against his palms. He can feel the shiver that ripples through Daichi when he trails his fingers back down to his shorts and lets them dip just under the waistband of his boxers.

“Okay?” he asks, his lips brushing Daichi’s jaw.

Daichi just nods, rolling his hips slightly when Suga reaches deeper, pressing into the dense muscle of his ass. They’ve only touched each other over their pants until now, and Suga will freely admit that he’s been thinking about this all day, since they joked about it that morning. There are a lot of things he’d eventually like to do to Daichi, but just having him in his hands like this is immensely satisfying for now.

“Christ, Daichi…how do I get an ass like this?”

“You’ve got it,” Daichi says, arching his back and pressing into Suga’s cupped hands. There’s a moment’s pause where he finds Daichi’s eyes and the other boy just stares back at him, waiting for him to decide if this line could qualify as sexy, or just cheesy as hell. “Shut up,” he adds, before Suga can share his conclusion that it was definitely both.

Suga grins and squeezes his hands, kneading his thumbs into soft skin over tight muscle. “Such a dork,” he says. “I’m so lucky.”

Daichi blushes and ducks his head to mouth at the side of Suga’s neck, while Suga continues to pinch and touch, working his way down until his fingers are skirting the crease where Daichi’s ass meets sturdy thighs. He can’t get any farther with Daichi’s shorts and underwear still on, so he slips his hands out.

“Can I take these off, too?” he asks.

“You can do anything you want,” Daichi says, nipping at Suga’s earlobe. “ _If…_ you tell me your sappy thoughts.”

Suga laughs and pushes at Daichi’s chest until he sits up, then slides his fingers into the sides of his shorts, ready to start tugging them down. “I was thinking about our first date,” he says, wiggling the waistband just a little lower. “About how sincere and sweet and perfect you were. How it felt like something so huge just to have you touching my hand.”

Daichi rises up on his knees so Suga is free to pull his shorts and boxers down, down, past dark, neatly trimmed hair—over the swell of his ass and the bulge of his erection—until he’s fully exposed, and Suga forgets what words are and how he is supposed to use them.

“What else?” Daichi asks. There’s a slight waver in his voice, a blush in his cheeks and over the expanse of his chest, but he doesn’t look away from Suga or try to cover himself up.

“When…when I walked in just now, you looked so happy to see me it made me want to cry,” Suga says honestly, brushing his fingers along the strong, angled lines of Daichi’s hips, then over the soft, soft skin at the tops of his thighs. Daichi’s breath catches, his muscles tensing under Suga’s touch. “It makes me feel amazing,” he goes on, “to know that someone like you can look at me and see…and see…”

Daichi licks his lips and shifts over Suga so he can get his shorts all the way down, leaving them tangled around one ankle as he sits carefully just below Suga’s hips again, pressing his hand over the very noticeable tent in Suga’s sweats.

“What do you think I see?” he asks.

“I don’t…I don’t _know,”_ Suga says, shaking his head, then almost letting it fall against the cushion behind his back when Daichi grinds the palm of his hand against him firmly. “But the way you smile at me…the way you… _oh.”_ Daichi has run his hand slowly along his shaft and reached his tip, wrapping his hand around him through his loose pants. “It’s like…you see something I didn’t know was there.”

Daichi smiles down at him, his hand stilling for a moment, and then tightening as he twists his wrist and strokes Suga back down to his base. “You _are_ sappy,” he says, with an expression at once tender and teasing, and Suga curls up so he can punch him in the chest. “I’m kidding! I’m kidding,” he laughs, taking Suga's hands in his and pushing him down again until he’s flat on his back, Daichi’s cock pressed to his. “Can I tell you my sappy thoughts now?”

“Please,” Suga says, and Daichi does. He rocks against Suga slowly and tells him how he makes his head spin, how his rational thoughts turn to poetry and music and color when Suga touches him.

As he talks, he helps Suga shimmy his pants midway down his thighs so they can feel the heat of each other's skin. The press of Daichi’s solid arousal against his own finally pulls Suga out of the daze that soft words and steady grinding had lulled him into, and he fully grasps the fact that Daichi is in his lap right now, completely naked, and so, so beautiful. Telling Suga how he makes him the best kind of crazy.

Suga’s hands have been resting on Daichi’s thighs, but he brings them between them now, thumbing over the precum glistening on Daichi’s tip, and sliding it over the smooth skin of the head. Feeling him twitch when he takes both of their cocks in hand.

“Fuck,” Daichi breathes.

“Vulgar,” Suga says with a smile. “Where did the sap go?”

Daichi grins down at him with a breathless laugh, canting his hips and arching into Suga’s hand. “I can’t think anymore. I’ll be romantic after, I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Suga says, even though he knows he’ll never have to, and he’s losing his ability to really listen to words right now himself. Daichi has leaned forward again to push Suga’s shirt up, reaching under it to spread warm fingers over his chest, and Suga wraps both hands around them loosely, pumping them to the same rhythm as Daichi’s thumbs moving over his nipples.

It’s so quiet now, with their voices fallen away. So easy to hear their quickened breaths, the shift of fabric, the brush of skin against skin. Suga can’t think of a time in his past when he was ever so attuned to every detail of a moment like this. Where a handjob wasn’t just a handjob, and he’d think nothing of just closing his eyes and enjoying the feeling of his pleasure climbing.

Right now he wants more than that. He wants to drink in every little catch in Daichi’s breath. He wants to watch Daichi touching him, watch his expression change and the flush over his skin spread and deepen. And then he meets Daichi’s eyes, and that’s the only thing he needs to see. Dark eyes locked on his even as Daichi’s head tips back and his legs clench on either side of Suga’s hips. He spills over Suga’s hands, hot and thick, and Suga gasps as he tightens his grip, stroking them harder with Daichi’s cum to ease the friction.

“Koushi, _God,”_ Daichi says, almost whines.

“Sorry!” Suga says, thinking it’s too much for Daichi and opening his hands to free him. “I can—”

“ _No…_ no, that’s…” Daichi closes his hands around Suga’s, guiding them in a fast, rough rhythm over both their cocks. “That’s _good,”_ he says.

Suga is glad Dachi has taken control, because at those words, he loses it—bucking up against Daichi’s solid weight on his lap and coming in slow, heavy pulses that drip over their hands so obscenely it almost makes him blush.

“I need…a minute,” Daichi says, his own eyes trained on their joined hands, and then drifting over the cum spattered on Suga’s bare stomach. “To be coherent again.”

“It won’t matter,” Suga says. “I think my brain exploded a couple minutes ago.”

Daichi laughs, his cheeks lighting up with color. Somehow embarrassed by his ability to disable Suga’s mental capacities, but not by the fact that he’s naked, with his hands still cupped around their softening dicks. “Can you handle cleaning up?” he asks.

“I could…but I’d rather not move and watch _you_ handle it.”

Daichi pinches Suga’s nose with sticky fingers and Suga scrunches it up in response, which only makes Daichi laugh again. He gets to his feet, wincing as he stretches his legs, and then walks into the kitchen, still so very naked, to wet a couple sheets of paper towel at the sink.

“You seem very comfortable roaming around in the nude, Daichi-san,” Suga calls from his reclined position on the couch. “Is this something you do frequently?”

“Oh, yeah,” Daichi says, coming back towards him. “Kuroo and I figured it would cut down on laundry if we just didn’t bother with clothes at home.”

He sits down with Suga again, blinking at him innocently.

Suga narrows his eyes. “You guys are so useless with laundry I literally can’t even tell if you’re shitting me,” he says, and Daichi loses his poker face to that deep laugh of his that brings a smile to Suga’s lips, despite his attempt to feign annoyance.

“It’s not something I do frequently,” Daichi says. “But I like the way you look at me.”

“Like a lecherous creep?”

“Like I’m something you haven’t seen before.”

“Ah…well. You are. In every way.”

Daichi smiles, catching the softness in Suga’s voice. He touches Suga’s cheek before leaning in to brush a kiss against his lips. “Is it time for more sap? I think I’m ready for round two.”

Suga didn’t know he had the capacity or desire to produce so many sentimental thoughts, but he has a child now, and he has Daichi, and there seems to be no end to the emotions tugging at his heart. He lets Daichi wipe away the tacky streaks across his stomach and between his legs, and then they go into the bathroom together, hips bumping while they wash their hands side by side.

When Daichi is dressed and Suga’s clothes are straightened, they settle down in Daichi’s bed with music playing low. Suga will need to go back home soon and let Asahi get to sleep, but he gives himself a little more time to breathe Daichi in and feel the rumble in his chest each time he talks, telling Suga every ridiculous thing he thinks is cute about him.

It’s a different kind of praise than Suga has ever experienced, personal and real, and made that much more warm and wonderful by Daichi’s body curled around his own. In that moment he doesn’t even find himself thinking _I’ve never had this._ Only _this is mine, this is my life, this is how lucky I am._

* * *

 **Kuroo:** okay  
**Kuroo:** so

 **Daichi:** ??

 **Kuroo:** i have a matter that i need to discuss with you

 **Daichi:** k?

 **Kuroo:** so  
**Kuroo:** how good of a mood are you in currently?

 **Daichi:** wtf kuroo..what did you do?  
**Daichi:** and just spit it out i have like 4 minutes to eat lunch

 **Kuroo:** what? why? don’t you have almost an hour till your next class?

 **Daichi:** gotta run to the library and print some stuff off  
**Daichi:** what’s going on?

 **Kuroo:** nothing...nevermind we can talk about it later.

 **Daichi:** what? is everything okay?

 **Kuroo:** yes! it’s great...but i think this will require more than 4 minutes so

 **Daichi:** oh my god kuroo just tell me

 **Kuroo:** i think, really, that with the right attitude you can easily embrace this as good news, but i sense you don’t have that attitude right now

 **Daichi:** kuroo i swear to GOD  
**Daichi:** tell me now

 **Kuroo:** okay! fine!  
**Kuroo:** we got a cat!!!

 **Daichi:** no. we did not.

 **Kuroo:** and she seems to like your bed more than mine?

 **Daichi:** kuroo you'd better fucking be kidding right now

 **Kuroo:** and I’m telling you right now if she ends up liking you more than me we’ll have to get another one

 **Daichi:** We did not get a first one. We do not have a cat

 **Kuroo:** i'm thinking the litter box should go in the bathroom...because there's really nowhere else to put it, but i wanted to check with you first

 **Daichi:** Kuroo

 **Kuroo:** so what do you think?

 **Daichi:** Kuroo Tetsurou  
**Daichi:** do we seriously have a cat?

 **Kuroo:** we do. that’s why i need to know where you want the litter box  
**Kuroo:** daichi?  
**Kuroo:** can you tell me if you’re on your way to murder me please so i can pack up Precious and get the hell out of here?

 **Daichi:** PRECIOUS????  
**Daichi:** kuroo i’m gonna wring your fucking neck  
**Daichi:** you want to know where the cat i never asked for is going to shit? but you didn’t think to ask if i wanted a fucking cat at all?  
**Daichi:** you’re actually kidding aren’t you?  
**Daichi:** you and suga are reading this and laughing right now and there is actually no cat?

 **Kuroo:** _*image attached*_

 **Daichi:** start running

 **Kuroo:** Daichi she’s so cute. She’s SO cute

 **Daichi:** NO  
**Daichi:** our apartment is TINY and it will ALWAYS SMELL LIKE CAT SHIT

 **Kuroo:** i think we should discuss this later...you need to get to the library

 **Daichi:** NO CAT

 **Kuroo:** i think this is good actually  
**Kuroo:** by the time you get home you’ll have worked all this out

 **Daichi:** IF we had a cat it would shit in YOUR ROOM and nowhere else

 **Kuroo:** that’s gross daichi..i don’t want it in my room

 **Daichi:** I DONT WANT IT ANYWHERE

 **Kuroo:** sawamura...i’m getting a little worried about your blood pressure

 **Daichi:** me too  
**Daichi:** god fucking dammit kuroo, i’m really pissed at you right now  
**Daichi:** i’ll talk to you later

 **Kuroo:** okay :/

Daichi shoves his phone in his bag and hurries over to the library, resolutely putting Kuroo and that fuzzball that was on _his bed_ out of his mind. It takes him forty-five minutes of irritation, and then the total distraction his physiology class provides, to no longer feel like punting Kuroo across the country, and to gradually remember exactly what kind of guy he is. And why he’s Daichi’s best friend.

He’s not angry anymore by the time he’s ready to head home, but he decides to text Kuroo on the bus anyway, to avoid the inclination to punch him in the face rising up again.

 **Daichi:** what is it

 **Kuroo:** huh?

 **Daichi:** the reason. The kuroo-logic reason why you had to get the cat

 **Kuroo:** oh  
**Kuroo:** okay...so it actually belonged to a friend of kenma’s, she lives here in tokyo  
**Kuroo:** but her dad’s really sick and she’s going back home to help out her family, and she can’t take the cat with her because her little sister is super allergic  
**Kuroo:** kenma can’t take it because he already has two and he’s not supposed to have any  
**Kuroo:** and i love cats and it really needed a home and we ARE allowed to have them  
**Kuroo:** and i know i should have asked you first but i just couldn’t say no, i couldn’t  
**Kuroo:** i’m sorry :(((

 **Daichi:** kuroo, god  
**Daichi:** you're such a pain  
**Daichi:** i'm sorry I yelled at you  
**Daichi:** text yelled  
**Daichi:** but why didn’t you fucking lead with all of that instead of “i got a cat and put it in your bed”

 **Kuroo:** i....don’t know  
**Kuroo:** i didn’t put her there though, i want her to sleep in my room  
**Kuroo:**  i’m aware that that’s not the point

 **Daichi:** i don’t want a cat

 **Kuroo:** i know

 **Daichi:** i really don’t want a cat named precious

 **Kuroo:** kenma says she never responds to it anyway. he says even cats know it’s a terrible name

 **Daichi:** lol  
**Daichi:** aljdlgkdfklg i can’t believe you got us into this

 **Kuroo:** we can name her whatever you want. you wanna name her shogi?

 **Daichi:** we can’t name a cat together Kuroo, we’re already so gay  
**Daichi:** and you can’t name a cat shogi

 **Kuroo:** as you said...we’re already so gay  
**Kuroo:** so does it really matter?

 **Daichi:** fuck my life

 **Kuroo:** you on your way home?

 **Daichi:** yeah...want me to grab something for dinner?

 **Kuroo:** yes please  
**Kuroo:** i will remove shogi from your bed before you get here

 **Daichi:** we’re not calling her shogi  
**Daichi:** and just leave her (-___-)

 **Kuroo:** :DDD

The cat is still on Daichi’s bed when he gets there. And so is Kuroo. And Suga. Asahi is standing nearby with Mai in his arms.

“Why?” Daichi asks.

“You must have a really good scent,” Kuroo says with a shrug, reaching to stroke the side of the cat’s face. It’s a soft, peachy orange, with a white chest and stomach. Four white paws curl up as it wiggles onto its back and lets Kuroo rub its belly. Probably shedding all over Daichi’s covers.

“He does,” Suga confirms, then looks up at Daichi and smiles. “You do.”

Daichi pulls off his sweatshirt so he can pretend he’s not blushing, then goes out to the kitchen where he left the takeout, and brings it back into his room with a handful of chopsticks.

“We’re probably eating cat hair,” he says, when all four of them are on his bed passing cartons between them, with the cat climbing over all of them, and Mai lying on Kuroo’s lap. The cat keeps inching towards her and then darting back when she waves one of her little arms erratically.

“When do they stop moving like they’re in a stop motion film?” Kuroo asks. “Or a horror movie.”

“Oh my God,” Suga says. “She can’t help it!”

“I know! I’m just wondering!”

Daichi can’t help laughing, and simultaneously feels terrible because Mai is so cute. But babies really are so goddamn weird.

“It goes away over the first three months. She’s way less jerky now than when she was first born!”

“She is,” Asahi agrees. “It’s just when she does that thing like she’s super startled.”

“Like you do every time someone sneezes?” Daichi asks.

Asahi tries to elbow him and accidentally jostles the cat, spawning profuse apologies on Asahi’s part and laughter on everyone else’s, except Kuroo who first makes sure the cat has not been harmed.

“So…Precious?” Suga asks.

“Shogi,” Kuroo corrects.

“Neither,” says Daichi. “Just give it a normal, non-shitty cat name. Like…Reo, or Momo, or—”

“Hotaru?” Asahi suggests.

“Yuki,” Suga says.

Kuroo’s mouth is full of noodles, but he points his chopsticks at Suga and nods enthusiastically. “ _Yes,”_ he says, after swallowing in a loud, rushed way that has Asahi eyeing him nervously. “Cute. That’s the one.” He tries it out immediately, praising Yuki and stroking her back, and she starts to purr, all low and rumbling, finally flopping down on his lap right at Mai’s feet. Seemingly entirely unconcerned with the way little toes keep wriggling in her fur. “Baby Mai has given her blessing.”

“Baby Mai is gonna terrorize Yuki when she starts crawling,” Daichi points out.

They all look down at Mai, round and generally immobile on Kuroo’s long legs. It seems hard to imagine her being able to get around without one of them carrying her.

It’s funny how it also seems impossible to imagine not watching her get to that point, and not watching her move beyond it. Daichi’s heart starts to race a little at that realization. Not one part of him would want to change it, the way his future is so quickly reshaping itself in his mind, but it still makes him almost dizzy in moments like this. It’s that same kind of spinning he felt with metalcore blasting in his ears, and Suga’s lips hungry against his own. Like a windstorm that he doesn’t want to run from, that he wants to stand right in the middle of and feel it sweeping over his skin and into his lungs. That sensation of being both breathless and completely filled.

He has an overwhelming urge to kiss Suga just now, or to bury his face in the crook of his neck, but they are very much not alone, so he just finds his hand and weaves their fingers together instead.

“Almost two months,” Kuroo is saying now. “That’s…a sixth of a year, can you believe that?”

“Don’t say that,” Suga tells him, poking him with the end of a chopstick. “She was just born and she’s going to be my fat little baby forever.”

“Yes, she is,” Asahi agrees. Probably mostly to be comforting, but Daichi knows he’s also dreading Mai becoming mobile and being able to trip and fall and get hurt. Daichi’s not too worried about that, though. She’s Suga’s daughter—there's no way she won't just get up and keep going.

“Hey,” he says, pulling himself out of his thoughts and back into the conversation. “What time do your friends get in tomorrow?”

“Right before lunch!” Suga says brightly.

“Now which ones are these, again?” Kuroo asks. “Oikawa-san is the tall one with stupid-perfect hair, right?”

“Envious much?” Daichi asks.

“Extremely.”

“Yes,” Suga says. “And Hajime’s the one you said looked like he could snap your arms like twigs.”

Daichi snorts, remembering Kuroo’s running commentary when the four of them, plus Noya, spent an evening watching Hikaru music videos together over the weekend. There had been a lot of laughing and teasing and off-key singing along. (There was also a lot of Suga looking incredibly sexy. Suga in dark, tailored suits; Suga with wire-framed glasses; Suga in the tightest goddamn leather pants Daichi has ever seen. He’d practically carried real-life Suga into his room after that, when their friends were busy poking around the kitchen for a late night snack, climbing on top of him on his bed and kissing him breathless. Tasting his way down his chest and stomach, and biting him low on his hips just before Kuroo started calling for them. He’s still waiting for a chance to get back in that exact same position. And to work his way further down.)

His friends are still talking about Oikawa and Iwaizumi, where they’ll be staying and what they’ll do when they’re here. (Suga has insisted on booking a room for them so they won’t be kept awake by Mai, and their plans seem to consist only of eating and staring at the baby, which sounds reasonable.) Daichi is looking forward to meeting them, though he is a little nervous about Oikawa-san since he knows how close he and Suga are. If even Asahi worked up to giving him a talk about dating Suga, he has to imagine that Suga’s bold, confident, outspoken friend will have a thing or two to say. Daichi is confident too, though. He’s confident in Suga’s feelings for him, and in his own ability to be good for Suga. So if Oikawa wants to talk to him, Daichi is ready to talk back.

“Boyfriend?”

“Hmm?” Daichi says, looking up to see Suga eyeing him curiously.

“Curry or sushi for dinner tomorrow? Kuroo’s picking it up on his way home.”

“Oh…sorry. I can help, Kuroo. Sushi’s good.”

“You’ve been staring at Yuki for like five minutes straight,” Kuroo says. “You can’t have her, you know. She’s my cat.”

“I was just thinking,” Daichi says. “Like I want her tracking kitty litter all over my bed anyway.” He reaches to rub her fluffy belly, just in case her tiny cat brain can understand him and becomes saddened.

“What were you thinking about?” Suga asks.

Daichi looks at him, his cheeks pink from laughing, and from all of them sitting so close together with Daichi’s pillows and covers bunched up around them. He’s wearing a white undershirt and grey shorts, all long, toned limbs and soft cotton, and Daichi doesn’t know how a world ever existed in which he didn’t get to be part of Suga’s life. Or maybe that’s not how it works, and it was always going to be this way, even before he knew Suga’s name. Not that they were powerless, or destined to come together, but that their lives always contained this possibility, if they were to choose to take it.

Daichi doesn’t know. He’s studying sports medicine, not philosophy. It probably took a million coincidences and choices that could have gone another way for Asahi and Daichi to end up as neighbors, and for Suga to not have a family, but to have Asahi, and a baby, and a need for a safe place to bring her home. It’s probably nothing but an incredible assortment of connected moments of chance that led them to be in the same place at the same time, and it was Suga’s smile and that knowingness in his eyes that made Daichi want to stay there.

“You’re being sappy, aren’t you,” Suga says.

“Oh no,” Asahi groans. “Don’t answer that. Don’t start flirting here.”

“We’re literally in my bed!” Daichi argues. “Could there be a more appropriate place?”

“There is a _child_ and a _kitten_ present, Sawamura. Control yourself,” Kuroo says, attempting to look scandalized while holding his hands over Mai’s ears, and failing completely when she flashes one of her heart melting little reflex smiles.

“A baby and a full-grown cat,” Daichi corrects automatically. “Oh my God, did you guys all see that?”

They all did. They crowd closer, hunching over Kuroo’s lap and stroking Mai’s cheek, cooing at her in hopes of coaxing another smile out. Yuki abruptly decides she’s finished with so much activity and slips out, scampering off to who knows where. Hopefully to take a shit in Kuroo’s room.

Eventually Mai’s good mood dissipates, and Suga and Asahi take her to make a bottle, while Daichi is roped into discussing litter box and cat bed placement with Kuroo. He’s just left his friend stretched out on his bedroom floor with his head in the little bed (which is directly next to Kuroo's bed), trying to convince Yuki that it’s a good place to be, when his phone buzzes in his pocket.

 **Suga:** hi

 **Daichi:** hi there

 **Suga:** so...what were you thinking?

 **Daichi:** a lot of things. mostly sappy  
**Daichi:** debating whether stars aligned so that i’d get to know you  
**Daichi:** but i think...maybe life just moves along and we get thrown into really good places sometimes  
**Daichi:** and then we get the chance to make things happen

 **Suga:** by offering to help strange ex-idols with their babies

 **Daichi:** and laundry

 **Suga:** yes lol  
**Suga:** i think so too  
**Suga:** i love hearing your thoughts :))

 **Daichi:** some were less sappy...  
**Daichi:** some got a little distracted when Kuroo mentioned those music videos  
**Daichi:** and are now really stuck on our too brief time in your room after we watched them

 **Suga:** you mean when you were much too briefly getting very close to sucking me off?

 **Daichi:** wow  
**Daichi:** just went right ahead and said it

 **Suga:** XD  
**Suga:** you were, weren’t you?

 **Daichi:** yeah....did you know your skin tastes really good?

 **Suga:** i did not. please feel free to tell me about it though

Daichi calls a goodnight through Kuroo’s door, and flicks off the lights in the apartment before going into his own room.

 **Daichi:** it’s kind of like alcohol  
**Daichi:** i think just having my tongue on you makes some kind of chemical reaction happen in my head and i get dizzy almost  
**Daichi:** it makes me want to lick you everywhere

 **Suga:** oh god...please do

 **Daichi:** are we sexting here, or can i actually do this?

 **Suga:** how comfortable are you actually doing this with Kuroo in the next room? because if i come over...

 **Daichi:** come  
**Daichi:** we’ll put music on  
**Daichi:** is asahi okay with mai?

 **Suga:** hang on  
**Suga:** he’s still up reading and mai’s asleep  
**Suga:** i’ll be there soon

Daichi drops his phone and hurries out of his room towards the bathroom.

“Suga’s coming over!” he tells Kuroo as he passes his room. “Just pretend you don’t notice.”

Kuroo’s door immediately opens, and he steps out to look down at Daichi with a raised eyebrow. “What, precisely, will I be pretending not to notice?”

“Please,” Daichi says. “Just be cool.”

“Oh, God. Really?”

“No, just…can we just not talk about this? You have a free pass to do whatever you want with Kenma when he’s over, provided he ever lets you touch him.”

“Wow,” Kuroo says, blinking slowly. “That seemed like the best way to get me on board?”

“Sorry, I’m sorry. I gotta brush my teeth, Kuroo, please?”

Kuroo rolls his eyes and waves a hand at him with a lazy grin. “Like I really care,” he says. “Knock yourself out, I’ll wear headphones.”

It’s probably just that Daichi is way too excited about the prospect of going down on Suga, but he finds himself hooking an arm around Kuroo’s neck and yanking him into a quick hug. And possibly telling him he loves him.

“Yeah, yeah,” Kuroo says. “Go indulge in your carnal delights.”

“You’re gross,” Daichi tells him, ruffling his dumb, endearing rooster hair. “Thank you.”

His friend punches his shoulder and tells him to fuck off before going back in his room, which Daichi accepts as an expression of his mutual affection, and then darts into the bathroom to clean up quickly. He’s just spitting toothpaste into the sink when there’s a soft knock on the front door.

“You don’t need to—” Daichi begins after letting Suga in, but Suga doesn’t seem concerned with what he was about to say. The moment he’s inside his hands are tight around handfuls of Daichi’s shirt and he’s kissing him eagerly, nipping his lips and pushing him back towards his room.

Daichi does not drag his heels. In a blur of wet kisses and stumbling steps they’re soon back on his bed, but this time without every person they know surrounding them. It’s just Suga stripping off his own shirt, and gasping when Daichi immediately presses his tongue flat over his nipple. He tongues at it gently after that, feeling it harden as he circles around it, prods it, finally pinches it carefully between his teeth.

“Daichi…” Suga breathes. “Music?”

“Kuroo’s wearing headphones,” Daichi tells him before dragging his tongue along the solid curve of Suga’s pectoral muscle. “We can still put it on if you want.” He doesn’t make any move to do that though, instead shifting down lower between Suga’s legs so he can suck little marks along the lines of his ribs. Suga just whimpers softly, and Daichi changes his mind. “Or not, actually. I like being able to hear you.”

To emphasize his point, he presses the tip of his tongue just under Suga’s belly button, before drawing a slow, slow line downwards, tugging at the waistband of his shorts as he goes so he can follow the trail of soft, fair hair all the way to its end. Suga cooperates beautifully, taking in a slow shaky breath that falls back out in a little moan when Daichi keeps going, slipping the shorts down further and mouthing at the warm skin in the crease of Suga’s thigh.

He wasn’t kidding about loving Suga’s taste. Now that the shorts are out of the way he’s not even sure what to do with himself. He wants to bite the sharp V of his hips, kiss the softness of his thighs, glide his tongue along the lean curves of his ass and in between them. Suga is already whining though, shifting underneath Daichi and trying to kick his shorts all the way off, and that seems like a good idea. He helps him undress so Suga’s free to bend his legs on either side of Daichi, and then he can’t resist gripping those bare thighs and pressing them further apart, leaning back in to brush open kisses over Suga’s balls before licking a wet stripe up the underside of his erection. He wants to taste so many parts of him, but he’s been thinking about having Suga’s cock in his mouth for days, and that’s what he’s going to do now.

“Ohh, Daichi…” Suga whispers. “I hope Kuroo has really good headphones, because—”

Daichi pops the head of Suga’s cock into his mouth, closing his lips around it and laving his tongue over the slit to catch the salty pre-cum beading up, and Suga makes a muffled keening sound. It only gets better as Daichi keeps going, sucking slowly on Suga’s cockhead, licking his shaft with heavy strokes of his tongue, finally hollowing his cheeks and letting Suga slide deep into his mouth, until he hits his limit and wraps a hand around what he can’t take in.

Suga moans and gasps softly the whole time, breath catching and hips jerking whenever Daichi does something he particularly likes. Just the sound of him is making Daichi’s cock heavy and sore in his jeans, aching for more friction than the press of fabric. He manages to get them open with one hand so he can stroke himself through his boxers, closing his eyes and humming around Suga’s length, earning himself another low groan from Suga. Daichi wants to learn it all, everything that makes Suga shake, everything that can make his breath shudder this way. But now that he’s really starting to move over Suga, the other man is quickly unraveling, fingers twisting in Daichi’s shirt and legs squeezing in tight against his shoulders.

“You’re…too good at this,” he whimpers, almost petulantly.

It makes Daichi laugh, and he lets Suga slip out of his mouth for a moment. “Been thinking about it a lot,” he says.

“So dirty, Daichi. I thought… _ahh.”_ Suga’s breathing falters again, puffing out in little staccato beats as Daichi goes back down on him, swallowing around him in long pulses. “Oh…my _God._ How can someone so pure and decent be so… _nnh, Daichi,_ I’m really…close. You don’t have to—”

Daichi has never particularly liked swallowing. With his past partners he’s held it on his tongue and spat into a tissue after, if he even let them come in his mouth at all. But he’s also never gone down on someone he felt so strongly about. Never spent so much time just sitting with his arm around their shoulder, or their hand in his, and never been so intoxicated by the mere idea of having them inside him. He moves his hand more roughly over his own leaking erection, and sinks as low as he can over Suga. Eyes watering when the tip of his cock presses deeper than before, streaming when he swallows convulsively around it and Suga cries out, dropping his hand to the back of Daichi’s head and holding him in place as he spills down his throat.

It’s uncomfortable, and mildly frightening when Daichi starts to feel like he’s not getting enough air, but it’s also exactly what he wants, and he makes no attempt to pull away. Suga’s release is hot as it goes down, his cock so solid and comfortably heavy on Daichi’s tongue, legs trembling where they press against him. It’s an incredible feeling, to be so physically close to someone he’s so emotionally drawn to. To be able to pull these reactions from Suga, these broken sounds and clutching fingers. It makes Daichi moan as he tries to swallow everything he can, as he ruts into his own hand. Suga pulls out of his mouth and watches him with dark eyes, reaching to touch his face. Sweeping a smear of cum off his chin with two fingers and pressing them between Daichi’s parted lips.

Daichi wants to keep his eyes open, to memorize the look on Suga’s face right now, watching Daichi lose it after blowing him, but there’s no way. He lets them squeeze shut, sucks Suga’s fingers hard, and twists his hand just right so he can crash into his climax with the taste of Suga filling his senses.

“Holy damn, Daichi,” Suga whispers when Daichi's finished, his hushed voice seeming supremely unnecessary after all the noise they’ve been making. He slips his fingers out of Daichi’s mouth, and Daichi takes a number of steadying breaths before he manages to open his eyes. He has to do some more deliberate breathing after that, because Suga is so perfect and bare, the insides of his thighs pink from Daichi’s five o’clock shadow, his cock still slick and flushed from being in his mouth, and it’s all a little overwhelmingly sexy.

“We weren’t very quiet,” Daichi says.

“Watching you jerk off was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced?” Suga says, apparently ignoring Daichi’s admittedly obvious statement. Or maybe justifying it, actually. “With the exception of that blow job, which was…I don’t even know what the best part of it was.”

Daichi smiles and crawls forward so he can lie down next to Suga. Partially on top of him.

“How crazy good it was?” Suga continues. “Or how much you liked doing it?”

“Well…that was because it’s you.”

“I know. That’s why it was so hot, and so…so…”

“So?” Daichi asks, wrapping his hand around Suga’s hip so he can tug him closer. He’s sleepy now, and the crook of Suga’s neck is so warm and inviting.

“It’s sappy. It’s probably best if I stop there.”

“I like when you’re sappy,” Daichi tells him.

Suga sighs and his fingers settle on Daichi’s head, gently stroking through his hair. “It made it not just a blow job. Everything is always so much _more_ with you.”

“Is that okay?” Daichi asks, summoning the energy to sit up enough to see Suga’s face.

“It’s overwhelming. I’ve never…I just didn’t realize sex could be so full. Like, it was just one guy at a piano before, nothing to write home about, and now it’s this glorious fucking concerto and—”

“Is it okay?” Daichi asks again, but he’s smiling this time, and he’s not worried. Suga’s face is full of warmth, bright with all the same things Daichi feels growing in himself.

“It’s amazing,” Suga says, with this beautiful smile that splits Daichi’s heart in two, because there’s this awe in it, like he doesn’t quite get how this is something that belongs to him.

Daichi doesn’t get how Suga has ever been anything but loved in the fullest way possible. He kisses his cheek and reaches to tug the blanket over them as well as he can. They can’t spend the night this way, he knows that, but he’s aching to stay close to Suga right now, to hold him tight and whisper promises in his ear.

“It is” he agrees, when Suga has turned to wrap his arm around Daichi and cuddle against his chest. “Happy two months, Koushi.”

“Happy two months,” Suga echoes, his words punctuated by warm lips smiling against the base of Daichi’s throat.

Tomorrow Mai will be two months old, but tonight marks two months of hand holding, and unconventional dates, and falling swiftly and softly in love. Daichi doesn’t know what the days ahead of them will hold, as Mai grows and they grow, but he knows that he wants all of them. All the days and months, as far as he can see.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope we're all excited for some Tooru and Hajime next chapter, and if you have a hankering for more info about the Hikaru crew, I answered an ask about them [here](http://ellessey-writes.tumblr.com/post/172803006290/like-a-song-is-literally-killing-me-ive-never) on tumblr that gives a little rundown of everyone's roles in the group!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to give a little warning that there will be a brief description of past child abandonment near the end of this chapter, because getting to good places sometimes requires dealing with the bad places someone has been. It's only a very small section, but I just wanted anyone who's potentially uncomfortable with it to be aware. There will, of course, be plenty of fluff and good feelings as well <3

Suga starts crying the second he sees Tooru step off the train, but Tooru is crying too by the time he reaches him. Thankfully Mai is strapped to Asahi’s chest, and they’re free to hug each other so hard it hurts once Tooru slams into him. Hajime joins them a moment later, much more composed, but he hugs Suga just as tightly when it’s his turn, ruffling his hair and pressing a hard kiss to his temple while Tooru blows his nose loudly next to them.

“It’s good to see you, Koushi,” Hajime says, stepping back and offering a broad smile to Asahi. “Hey, Azumane.”

Asahi greets both of Suga’s friends warmly, and then obligingly lifts the little hood from Mai’s head and leans down so they can see her.

Tooru’s face goes through a rapid series of expressions, eyes darting back and forth between Suga and Mai, almost like he’s trying to put all this together two months after the fact. “Wow,” he says finally. “Kou-chan, oh my God…you actually have a daughter.”

Suga smiles, stroking Mai’s hair. “Did you think I was making it up?”

“ _No,_ I just…it’s one thing to see pictures, and another to be here and…she’s a _real_ _baby,_ and she looks like you, Kou-chan, she’s _beautiful_ , I’m just—”

His eyes have filled with tears again, and Hajime is shaking his head even as he wraps an arm around his shoulder.

“Let’s start walking,” Hajime says. “Oikawa needs a moment to process reality. She really is beautiful, Koushi. She’s got your eyes.”

Tooru sniffles and agrees, and Suga slips an arm around his waist and holds onto him as they begin the walk to the apartment. He’s feeling oddly emotional too, not just from seeing Tooru and Hajime again, but from how strange it feels to be with them and not be the person he was the last time they were together. He thinks he understands what Tooru’s feeling, the weight of seeing someone you’ve known so well having been transformed into something a little foreign. He’s still himself, of course, but he’s also an entirely new version of that person. He has Mai. And it seems like Daichi was right and she does have Suga’s eyes, and somehow that’s making him emotional, too.

Thankfully Hajime and Asahi are here, chatting about the awards show Hikaru just attended, and Asahi’s classes, and by the time they get home Tooru’s shock has subsided enough for him to be chatty and teasing again. Suga still feels strange, almost like one foot is in water and one is on land. Being with his old friends has taken him back in time, but he’s also here right now, helping Asahi unstrap the carrier and taking Mai into his arms.

“Do you want to hold her?” he asks Tooru. “I can’t guarantee she won’t poop.”

Tooru wrinkles his nose, but his lips turn up in an uncontrollable smile when he looks at Mai’s curious, round face. “Then I’ll just give her right back to you,” he says. “Come to Uncle Tooru, Cutie-chan. I see you’ve inherited my flawless skin, haven’t you? You lucky little mouse.”

Suga laughs and helps Tooru settle the baby against his chest. “We can take your stuff over to the hotel a little later. I don’t think you can check in yet.”

“Hm?” Tooru says distractedly, his eyes on Mai as she wraps a chubby fist around two of his long fingers. “Oh…no, I cancelled that. We’re staying with you.”

“Tooru!”

“What? You want us to, don’t you? Do you really want to spend time apart when we have to leave tomorrow night?”

“ _No,_ but you won’t get any sleep here, and—”

“We don’t care,” Hajime says. “We want to see you and Mai-chan. If you get sick of Oikawa I promise I’ll find a box to put him in, but otherwise just let us be here and help you.”

“Rude, Iwa-chan,” Tooru sniffs. “You can sleep on the floor.”

“You can both take my bed,” Suga says.

“They can have mine, Suga,” Asahi offers. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Ha!” Tooru cheers, turning Mai so he can hold her back to his chest, and lift her hand in a tiny high five directed at Asahi. “Ten points to Beard-kun!”

“Oh my God, give me that baby,” Hajime says, taking her carefully from Tooru just after Asahi has patted her hand. “You can’t listen to anything he says,” he tells Mai. “Not until you’re old enough to know what it means for someone to be full of shi—”

“Language,” Asahi and Suga say together, which sets Tooru cackling while Hajime ducks his head.

“What he meant to say,” he tells Mai, “was ‘Thank you, Azumane, that’s very generous.’ Except your Uncle Tooru often uses obnoxious behavior to cover over the depth of his emotions, and—”

“Iwa-chan, Jesus. Stop psychoanalyzing me in front of the baby,” Tooru scolds. “I _am_ emotional, and _of course_ I’m grateful for Beard— _Asa_ -chan.”

“Then just say that?” Hajime suggests.

Tooru glares at him, and Hajime lifts Mai up in front of himself with a _just try to be mad in the face of this_ expression. His tactic results in immediate success.

“Give her back to me,” Tooru says, but Hajime refuses, and Suga herds them both over to the couch so they can sit with her together.

He leaves Mai with them while he slips into the kitchen where Asahi has gone to get a drink, wrapping his arms tightly around his friend. “Thank you, Asahi.”

“Hm? For what?” Asahi asks, his arm instinctively settling across Suga's shoulders.

“Everything? Picking them up with me, and letting them stay here, and—”

“Of course, Suga, you don’t need to thank me for that.”

“But it’s not just that,” Suga says, though now that he’s faced with trying to explain what it is, he’s not sure himself. He just knows that if it weren’t for Asahi he would have been so terribly alone after he left Hikaru, and if Asahi had been anyone but who he is, he couldn’t have made Suga feel as supported and safe as he has every day since then. “I just really love you. I hope you know that.”

“I do,” Asahi says with a soft laugh. “Go visit with your friends.”

Suga mentally pulls himself together once again and returns to Tooru and Hajime in the living room, all of them hollering at Asahi to join them when he tries to excuse himself in case they want to catch up alone.

It’s a wonderful afternoon spent with Tooru marveling over every minuscule thing Mai does, and Hajime catching Suga up on everything going on with the other boys and the album they’re working on now. It will be the first one recorded without Suga, but that thought doesn’t hurt him like he thought it might. He laughs at Tooru’s expressive stories about Hinata, who stepped into the spaces Tooru left behind in their choreography when he took over Suga's role as a lead dancer. Tooru plays little videos for them on his phone, so Suga can see the round-faced redhead for himself.

“Look at him,” Tooru scoffs. “He hits every beat way too hard.”

“He’s adorable,” Suga says. “His limbs are enthusiastic.”

“Every goddamn thing about him is enthusiastic.”

“Language?” Hajime says hopefully, looking up from where Mai is cocooned between his leg and Tooru’s.

“It’s fine,” Suga says with a wave of his hand. “We’re just trying to get into the habit now, before she starts knowing what we’re saying.”

Tooru smirks, and when Suga laughs Hajime reaches over to flick him.

“You think it’s funny now,” he says, “but when your boyfriend gets here he’s gonna stop tormenting me and give _him_ his full attention, and then who’ll be laughing?”

“Tooru will not be anything but kind to Daichi,” Suga says, arching an eyebrow in Tooru’s direction.

His friend only blinks at him innocently, and Hajime snickers. Suga isn’t worried though, because he has no doubts about Daichi being good for him. All he has to do is let Tooru figure that out for himself.

By the time Daichi texts to say that he and Kuroo are on their way with dinner, Tooru has managed to avoid three diaper changes, but fallen victim to a fairly spectacular bout of spitting up. He’s dressed in one of Hajime’s t-shirts now, holding a sleeping Mai very cautiously against his shoulder.

“She’s not a bomb,” Hajime says, reaching out to poke Tooru with his foot.

“Small and destructive? I beg to differ.”

“She won’t yak in her sleep,” Suga tells him. “But you can put her down, if you want to. She likes being on that blanket over there.” He waves towards the soft, aquamarine blanket spread out on the floor.

Tooru eyes the blanket and shifts closer to it so he can grab it. He lays it over his opposite shoulder and then transfers Mai to that side. “I’m not putting her down. I need to absorb all her cuteness.”

“Because you’re running out?” Suga asks sweetly.

Tooru is just about to throw the television remote at him when there’s the beginning of a knock on the front door, truncated by said door swinging open and Kuroo stepping inside.

“I tried,” Daichi says, coming in behind him.

“Stop,” Tooru says, holding up the hand not supporting Mai.

Kuroo and Daichi freeze, and Suga sighs.

“Tooru…”

“I want to guess which one is which! He hasn’t shown me a picture yet, Sawamura,” Tooru explains, eyes moving back and forth between the two new arrivals, quick and calculating. “You,” he says a moment later, pointing a finger straight at Daichi. “You’re the boyfriend.”

Hajime makes a soft, long suffering sound, but Daichi just nods and gives Tooru an easy smile. “That’s me. How’d you know?”

“Because I told him you’re buff,” Suga cuts in before Tooru can answer, drawing a slight blush from Daichi and a squawk from Kuroo.

“What am _I_ then?” he asks.

“Lanky,” Tooru says automatically. “But that’s not how I knew.”

Kuroo’s eyes are tremendously round. Suga isn’t sure if it’s because two members of Hikaru are standing before him (three, Suga supposes, if he counts himself), or because of how swiftly Tooru just insulted him.

“Tooru, God,” Suga says. “Word choice?”

“What?” Tooru asks, then his eyes settle on Kuroo and his bright red face, and he has the grace to look a little abashed. “Ah…Kuroo-san, is it? I didn’t mean it like that. You and I are two of a kind, doomed to look lean next to boys like Iwa-chan and Sawamura here.”

“You mean…tall,” Kuroo says slowly. “Guaranteed to always look tall.”

Daichi shoots his friend a dirty look, and Hajime cocks an eyebrow, but Tooru’s face splits open in a delighted grin, one of his most genuine smiles that aren't usually bestowed so readily on a stranger.

“ _Precisely,”_ he says. “Kou-chan, why didn’t you tell me how wise your neighbor is?”

Suga rolls his eyes and ushers the boys away from the front door, ignoring Tooru and making all the necessary introductions instead, while Asahi takes the bags of takeout to the table. Mai of course wakes up and begins wailing while they’re trying to get settled.

“Dai—” Suga begins, but Daichi is already heading into the kitchen.

“Got it,” he says, going right for the cupboard that houses all of Mai’s things, and pulling out the can of formula and a bottle.

“My, my,” Tooru sing-songs softly. “Was he this domesticated from the start?”

“Not quite, but I didn't teach him most of it either,” Suga says, aiming an elbow at his friend. His eyes stay on Daichi, taking in the ease in his movements as he warms the water and scoops out just the right amount of powder. He remembers how awkwardly the other boy held Mai the first time, and how willing he was to do it anyway. Just the way he’s been with every new thing he’s tackled and grown stronger at as they’ve all learned how to take care of Mai.

There was never any need for him to learn how to be so steady and giving and innately, quietly in control though—that’s just the way Daichi is.

“Oh,” Tooru says, even more quietly now, so only Suga can hear him. “Kou-chan…why didn’t you tell me you’re in love?”

Suga blinks, his dreamy gaze snapping away from Daichi. “How do you _do_ that?” he whispers.

“Same way I knew which one was your Daichi. I wouldn’t even need to be as uncannily perceptive as I am to see that you’re the center of his universe.”

“I’m not,” Suga says, but it doesn’t come out sounding very convincing, even though he knows that it’s true.

It’s something he really loves about his relationship with Daichi though, the way the other boy manages to make Suga feel incredibly important without giving him the sense that Suga’s the only thing in his world. Daichi is studious and hardworking, taking both his classes and his job seriously. He devotes time to catching up with his family on Sunday night skype calls, playing video games with Kuroo, and talking quietly with Asahi when the two of them are cleaning up after a group meal and Suga is busy with Mai. His life is full even without Suga in it, and Suga loves that. He’s never wanted to be the center of anyone’s universe, he’s only wanted to find a place he belonged, and that’s what Daichi gives him. He didn’t replace his world with Suga when they started dating—he made him a part of it, as if there was a spot waiting just for him.

“You’re the brightest star in it then,” Tooru says.

Suga makes a dismissive sound, but then Daichi catches his eye across the room, smiling at him as he tests the temperature of the formula on the inside of his wrist, and Suga smiles back stupidly instead of trying to argue with Tooru.

“Ahh, Kou-chan,” Tooru sighs, leaning into him so he can rest his head against Suga’s. “This is all so bizarre, but I’m happy for you. I’m so happy that you’re happy.”

It _is_ bizarre. Suga has had so many different experiences at Tooru’s side, but he’s never sat beside him with a baby that belongs to him making impatient noises in his arms. He’s never been in love. Never, even in all those happy years growing up with Hikaru, felt the contentment that’s always burning warm in his chest now.

“Do you see now?” he asks. “How I knew this was what I needed to do?”

“I always saw that…I was just worried that it wasn’t what you really _wanted.”_

That’s fair, Suga supposes. He can understand how Tooru would see it that way, but the truth is that it was Suga’s decision to train as an idol that was made more out of need than want. He needed to leave his aunt’s home, needed a place where he could feel valued instead of resented at best, and Hikaru gave him that.

But the choice to raise Mai, to make her his priority, was never one of obligation. He wanted this, he wanted _her,_ so, so badly it was enough to overpower all the fear and doubt that came with leaving Hikaru and taking on a responsibility he was so ill-equipped for. He’ll never know why his parents didn’t feel the same pull towards him. Why for them it was possible to walk away, and for him, staying has always been the only thing that makes sense. Maybe if things had been different, if he hadn’t been so well-versed in being unwanted, he wouldn’t have been quite so certain of what to do when Maru told him about the baby, but he doesn’t think so. He can’t imagine any scenario in which he wouldn’t choose to care for someone who belongs to him—to follow the most basic instinct to love and be loved. If he _hadn’t,_ he would have missed out on all of this, everything he has now. This precise moment, surrounded by these people, in this little apartment that is his home. This very second, with his daughter looking up at him with eyes just like his.

“It was,” he says, rubbing his hand in slow circles on Mai’s back to soothe her. “It is.”

“I know,” Tooru says, smiling a little wistfully and then tapping his temple. “Uncannily perceptive, remember?”

Suga nods, bumping his head against Tooru’s to silently thank him for understanding. Daichi joins them a moment later, and then everyone is around the table, Mai guzzling her bottle happily in the crook of Suga’s arm.

The conversation becomes loud and disjointed, with Hajime and Daichi talking across across the table, Tooru wheedling information about the pizza boy-turned-boyfriend out of Asahi, and Suga trying to catch up on the latest developments in the real-life slowburn that is Kuroo’s relationship with Kenma. (There are very few. Kuroo still refuses to actually ask Kenma out since Daichi and Suga told him it seems like Kenma is definitely into him. He says knowing that is enough.) It’s strange, and pleasant, and the whole evening passes by so quickly they’re all a little surprised when Asahi clears his throat, quietly pointing out that it’s nearing midnight.

“No!” Tooru argues. “We just arrived, the day’s not allowed to end yet.”

Asahi looks uncertain as to whether Tooru is upset with him, or at time itself for having the gall to move forward. “I…you don’t _have_ to go to sleep,” he says. “I just—”

“I know, Beard-kun, ignore me. I just want all the time with Koushi and Cutie-chan that I can get.”

Asahi nods his understanding, offering up his bed again if Tooru does want to get some sleep.

“You’re way too big for the couch, Azumane,” Hajime points out. “We’re fine on the floor.”

“I’m—” Asahi begins.

“Too big,” Daichi cuts in. “Go get some sleep. You have a lab in the morning, don’t you?”

Asahi nods, opens his mouth to try again, and immediately gives up when Daichi and Hajime shake their heads. He wishes everyone a good night, dropping a kiss on Mai’s head before going to brush his teeth.

“I need to get back and check on Yuki,” Kuroo says. “Don’t have too much fun without me.”

“Yuki?” Hajime asks.

“The cat,” Daichi explains. “The cat that no one asked for.”

“Ah. No wonder my nose has been itchy all night.”

“Look, Kuroo. Your cat’s making our guests uncomfortable.”

“Shut it, Sawamura. I found her sleeping in your room this morning and I’m not impressed.”

“Oooh, is your kitty cheating on you, Kuroo-san?” Tooru chirps.

“Oh my God,” Hajime says. “I’m going to sleep. Go make up your cat dramas somewhere else.”

Tooru laughs and kisses Hajime’s temple. “You can take the couch, I’ll bunk with Kou-chan if he’ll let me.”

“Ahh…that would be nice,” Suga says, thinking back on all their nights in shared rooms and beds over the past few years, talking when they should have been sleeping. “I don’t think we’ll both fit with Mai though. Your legs are too long, Tooru.”

“I can watch Mai if you guys want to do some more catching up,” Daichi offers. “Just go hang out in my room, and I’ll stay here with her so she can sleep in bed.”

“You have class tomorrow,” Suga says.

“Not early.”

“But—”

“Kou-chan, your selfless boyfriend is trying to make a very kind gesture here,” Tooru interjects. “Please take him up on it so I can have you all to myself. And also spend some time with the fickle kitty-cat without Iwa-chan sneezing his guts out.”

Daichi laughs and reaches to take a fast asleep Mai from Suga’s arms. “It’s no problem,” he says. “She’s out anyway. And that goddamn cat is obsessed with my bed, so Oikawa-san can get his fill of dander and litter dust.”

Suga can’t say no to this when Tooru is smiling so brightly, and when he really would love to just spend some quiet time with him. “Thank you,” he says. “Just bang on the wall if you need me, okay?”

Daichi nods and looks like he’s about to lean in and peck Suga’s cheek, but he just resettles Mai in his arms and smiles at him instead. Suga thinks this is maybe the look Tooru saw on Daichi's face when he first came in, and he knows there’s a very high probability that he's currently wearing a matching expression. He closes the distance between them and kisses Daichi’s lips, smiling even more widely after when he sees the immediate flush of color that spreads over his boyfriend's cheeks.

“Oh, God,” Tooru sighs. “Iwa-chan, are you witnessing this?”

“Nope,” Hajime says. “Sawamura-san, Kuroo-san, thanks for dinner.”

More thank yous and goodnights are exchanged, and Suga kisses Mai a few times (then Daichi again, because he’s so unbearably cute), and finally everyone separates—Daichi staying behind to settle down in Suga’s room with Mai.

“ _Well,”_ Tooru says, as soon as they’ve said goodnight to Kuroo and gone into Daichi’s room.

“Before you unleash your every thought, try to remember that Daichi’s on the other side of that wall,” Suga tells him.

Tooru waves a hand as if this is inconsequential, going straight for Daichi’s bed where Yuki is curled up directly in the middle.

“Is my cat in there?” Kuroo shouts through the other wall, having just gotten into his own room and found it catless.

“Let us keep her for a bit!” Tooru calls back. “I never get to pet cats!”

“One hour! Not a minute more!”

“Done!” Tooru agrees. “Oh my God…this is just like being in the dorms, isn’t it?”

“Except for the two month old, yeah,” Suga laughs.

“Yes, except for that. And the addition of your studly boyfriend.”

There’s a small cough from the other side of Daichi’s shared wall, that is probably not at all coincidental with how loudly Tooru is speaking, despite Suga’s warning.

“No eavesdropping, Studly-kun,” Tooru scolds, rapping his knuckles on the wall.

“Maybe keep it down a little then, Shouty-san,” Daichi retorts. Suga can hear the smile in his voice, and imagines he can see the faint blush that Daichi would be resolutely ignoring even if they were in the same room.

Tooru looks extremely pleased as he curls up around Yuki, with Suga joining him on her other side. “Well,” he says again, much more softly. “You’re really not going to come back, are you?”

Suga shakes his head. He’s told Tooru he wouldn’t from the start. “I’ll do something,” he says. “Write, or choreograph maybe? But I can’t be an idol now, Tooru. It’s too much, and I don’t fit there anymore. I’d always have to hide Mai and I’m not…I’m not okay with that. I’m _proud_ of her.”

“You should be. She’s amazing, and you…God, Kou-chan, how are you doing this? I’ve watched you with her all day and you’re so _good_ at this.”

“I’m not,” Suga says. “I google things all the time, and all the guys help me so much. Daichi is so good with her.”

“Daichi is…not what I expected.”

“No? What were you expecting?”

“I don’t know,” Tooru says slowly, carding his fingers through Yuki’s fur. “I thought he would fall short. That I’d get a bad feeling from him or something, because he just sounds so…abnormal. What kind of twenty year old is mature enough to be so supportive of a single dad? I thought…I’m sorry, but I worried it might be fake.”

“You thought he was using me?”

“I didn’t _think_ that, I just…I worried. You’re gorgeous and well-off and famous, Kou. It’s not crazy to think someone disingenuous would just want to have a fling with a popstar if they had the chance.”

“Daichi’s not—”

“I know,” Tooru says with a shake of his head. “I know he’s not. It took me about three seconds to see that he’s made of honesty, and his heart’s all yours.”

Suga smiles, thinking of Daichi’s earnestness, the candid, forthright way he approaches everything, Suga included. “He makes me feel so good, Tooru. I’m just…I never expected this, I never expected _him,_ but…”

“Smitten kitten,” Tooru says, reaching over Yuki to tap Suga’s nose. “It’s a good look on you.”

Suga scrunches up his nose and then buries it in Yuki’s fur. “It’s still kind of scary,” he says, his words muffled. “I’ve never…done this.”

Tooru makes a contemplative little sound and rolls onto his back. “You’ve never been a dad before either,” he says after a minute. “Never even _had_ a dad, but you’re doing a pretty kick ass job of that so far.”

“I have help.”

“You _should_ have help. That doesn’t take away from how awesome you are.”

“You’re being very free with the compliments tonight.”

“Quiet,” Tooru says, flicking Suga’s ear. “I’ve missed you a lot, you shit, and I want you to be happy. Even if it’s not with us.”

“I’m actually…don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m impressed that you don’t hate all my friends here on principle.”

Tooru laughs, shifting onto his side again so he can face Suga. “I do a little bit, but beneath my thick layer of pettiness there’s that part of me that isn’t a dick…and that part knows being here is good for you.”

“You’re a good friend, Tooru.”

“Mm-mm.” Tooru shakes his head. “Family.”

Suga nods and presses his face back against Yuki’s purring little body, because his eyes are prickling with tears, and if he cries, Tooru probably will too. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” Tooru says. “Now tell me all the things. I know there’s no chance in _hell_ you haven’t gotten your hands all over Studly-kun’s body by now.”

There are some things that Suga keeps to himself, but he stops hiding in Yuki’s fur and tells his friend so many of the little things he’s missed. The tiny details of Mai arriving in the world, of his first date with Daichi, and his second and third. He listens to Tooru’s rambling stories about photoshoots, late night practices, and how good Hajime looked in the music video they just filmed, with bare arms wrapped in painted-on tattoos—and after a while it doesn’t feel so different from all the talks they’ve shared before. Just silly, sleepy musings and overtired laughter.

“I should get back,” Suga says, when they’re both doing more yawning than talking. “It’s…” He finds his phone on the bed to check the time, and sees a number of text messages from Daichi.

 **Daichi:** it’s weird being in your bed without you  
**Daichi:** smells so good though  
**Daichi:** i’m sorry mine probably smells like cat  
**Daichi:** i’m gonna sleep while mai is sleeping...you and oikawa should just have your sleepover okay? I can handle mai when she wakes up, and you deserve a break anyway  
**Daichi:** just don’t pay too much attention to how much dirty laundry is in there  
**Daichi:** and don’t let that cat on my pillow  
**Daichi:** i know she looks cute but there’s no way there aren’t traces of shit on her paws  
**Daichi:** you should put her on Kuroo’s pillow :D  
**Daichi:** i can hear you talking...not what you’re saying, but your voice  
**Daichi:** this is really nice  
**Daichi:** night koushi  <3

“God,” Suga says, half-heartedly shoving Tooru away when he leans closer to read over Suga’s shoulder.

“Is he always this adorable?”

“Yes. Is it okay if I let him do this? I’m so comfy here, and the thought of just getting to sleep all night…”

“Of course,” Tooru says. “He wouldn’t offer if he wasn’t okay with it. And his bed is _so comfortable…_ you couldn’t pay me to move now.”

It really is blissfully cozy, and the last few messages were sent half an hour ago, so if Suga were to go in there now he’d probably only be disturbing Daichi and Mai.

 **Suga:** you must be sleeping now  
**Suga:** you should know that you’re almost more than I can bear sometimes, daichi...i’m going to kiss you a million times tomorrow  
**Suga:** prepare yourself  
**Suga:** and your bed doesn’t smell like cat, it smells like you  
**Suga:** it’s perfect  
**Suga:** goodnight  <33333

“Stop, you’re giving me cavities,” Tooru says.

Suga just smiles at him and closes his eyes. It’s a little strange that his first time spending the night in Daichi’s bed does not involve Daichi being there with him, but somehow that almost seems fitting. Their entire dating experience has been so unorthodox, and Suga wouldn’t go back and change a single thing about it. He loves that his boyfriend is the kind of person who would make this happen—so uncommonly flexible and thoughtful. He can feel him there on the other side of the wall, keeping his daughter safe, giving him time with one of his best friends, and the gift of uninterrupted sleep. He can smell his clean, earthy scent, and he can picture him in his own bed, golden skin against Suga’s pale sheets.

So really, Daichi _is_ with him, and spending the night with him actually at his side is just another thing Suga can look forward to.

* * *

Daichi starts the day off with heavy limbs and a bit of a headache. Mai woke him up three times, and the sleep he got before her first waking was light because he was so aware of her little body and her quiet breathing when he tried resting next to her. Once he got her back to sleep, he ended up stretching out on the floor because he was too nervous about bumping her or rolling over her while unconscious. Most of the night was spent with his head pillowed by one of Mamoru’s fluffy pink legs. That part, at least, was extremely comfortable.

There’s a deep ache in his back when he sits up, but it seems worth it. Especially when he leans over the edge of the futon and gets to see Mai blinking slowly as she awakens. She watches him quietly with those warm, serious eyes, and he watches her back, studying the perfect bow of her upper lip, and the pink shell of her ear.

“Good morning, beautiful girl,” he says softly.

Mai yawns luxuriously, and promptly falls back asleep. He’ll never understand why it can’t be that easy in the middle of the night.

There’s a knock on the door while he’s still sitting there, and then Suga comes inside, still dressed in the soft jeans and t-shirt he was wearing the night before.

“Morning,” he says, coming around to the far side of the bed to join Daichi on the floor. “Did you sleep down here?”

“Yeah…I was afraid of crushing her.”

Suga smiles and leans in to run his fingers through Daichi’s ruffled hair, while he kisses the tip of his nose. “You have the imprint of Mamoru fur on your cheek,” he says.

“You have Yuki hair all over you.”

“It’s all over your bed, too.”

“Awesome.”

“Daichi…” Suga says, in the soft way that Daichi’s learning can mean nothing more than that he wanted his name on his tongue.

“Hmm?”

Suga wraps his arms around him suddenly, pushing him down so they both end up leaning against Mamoru’s massive, soft belly.

“What’cha doing?” Daichi asks, even though he knows already that Suga just wants to snuggle with him. That he probably fell asleep thinking about Daichi last night, just like Daichi fell asleep breathing in Suga’s scent and dreaming about holding him close.

“This,” Suga says, nuzzling into Daichi’s shoulder. “I don’t think I’ll see you much today, so I’m getting my fill now.”

“Ah…okay,” Daichi says, slipping his hand just under the back of Suga’s shirt, so he can feel the heat of his skin on his palm when he pulls him against himself. He probably won’t see Suga again today at all, with the late shift he has after he gets out of class, and even if he’d been free he would have wanted to give Suga time with his friends. “I’m good with that.”

Suga hums and rests his cheek just below Daichi’s collarbone, his fluffy bedhead brushing the underside of his chin. They stay like that while the sky along the edges of the curtains grows brighter, the sun warmer, and eventually Mai stirs again, loudly this time. Daichi wishes he could just hold Suga there for the rest of the day, but he lets go of him so Suga can get Mai.

“I’d better go shower,” he says, wincing a little when he gets up to stretch.

“You’re sore,” Suga says

“Nope.”

“Sawamura.”

Daichi grins and kisses Suga lightly on the lips. “Have a good day.”

“You, too. Send me a picture when you change for work. Especially if you’re in pink.”

Daichi shakes his head and kisses Suga again, before finally heading over to his own place, saying goodbye to a groggy Iwaizumi on his way out. He stops just short of his front door, when it swings open before he can reach for the handle.

“Oh! Sawamura, sorry,” Oikawa says, stepping into the doorway. “Kou-chan said you’ll be out all day. Are you leaving already?”

“Ah, yeah. I have school and then work. I’m covering for someone, so I have a double shift tonight.”

“Is this selfless thing just a way of life for you then?”

“I get paid, so…not really selfless.”

“Hmm,” Oikawa says, just standing there blocking Daichi's path, and studying him in a way that makes him feel a little like he’s been pinned to a dissection pad. “No one’s paying you to date a single dad though.”

Oikawa’s words are a little threatening, but his posture is relaxed, so Daichi doesn't bite back. “Nope…I’m a trainer, not an escort.”

Oikawa’s lips twitch up.

“If this is the protective-friend talk, you should know I already got one from Asahi.”

“I _do_ know, and it’s…not. I had one all planned, but you’re annoyingly likable, Sawamura, and I know Kou-chan knows what he’s doing. If you’re in his life, you deserve to be there.”

“Annoyingly likable doesn’t exactly sound like a compliment,” Daichi says with a grin.

“It will, once you’ve gotten to know me better.”

There’s a shift in Oikawa’s tone, a lessening of that show of confidence so that those last words sound like an open hand, and Daichi nods in response.

“I think you’re…unusual,” Oikawa continues, coming into the hall to lean against the frame of the door in front of Daichi. “But Kou-chan is a bit of an odd duck himself, so I suppose the universe knows what it’s doing.”

“Or Suga and I do,” Daichi says. He hasn’t entirely perfected his theory on the way all of this works, but he’s pretty sure a lot of it has to do with intention.

“Yes. My point is…I’m trusting you, Sawamura.” He says this like it should be a threat, too, but his eyes are imploring. Daichi knows the real point here is that Oikawa cares a lot about Suga, and he has nothing but respect for that.

“Daichi,” he offers.

“Dai-chan,” Oikawa amends, and Daichi smiles. “Did you know there’s pink fuzz in your hair? What even is that?”

“Ah…” Daichi brushes his hand through his hair, trying to shake it out. “Mamoru.”

“Mamo…oh. The giant unicorn?”

Daichi nods. “He’s Mai’s protector.”

“And yours, apparently.”

“Hey, don’t knock it till you’ve tried it. He’s unbelievably soft.”

“I’ll try it then,” Oikawa says. “Will we see you later?”

“I don’t think I’ll make it back before you leave. So next time.”

“Next time,” Oikawa agrees with a warm smile that looks surprisingly like the ones Daichi has seen him direct at Suga. “Take care, Dai-chan. And watch out for Kou and Cutie-chan for me, just in case Mamoru needs some assistance.”

“I will. You and Iwaizumi-san have a safe trip.”

Oikawa thanks him, and then they both stand there a little awkwardly, unsure if their shared affection for Suga calls for some kind of physical gesture before they part ways.

“Are you a hugger?” Oikawa asks, just before the pause becomes painfully long. “Iwa-chan says I shouldn’t just throw myself at people, but—”

“I’m…not, really. But it’s fine if you—”

“Oh, sorry, no that’s okay.”

“Okay,” Daichi says, feeling distinctly uncomfortable now. He’s not even sure why he said he’s not a hugger when he does like hugs, just usually only with people he’s close to. He barely knows Oikawa, but Oikawa belongs to Suga, and so does he, so… “Sorry,” he adds. “This is weird now. Can we just hug?”

“Yes, God, I’m glad Kou-chan isn’t watching us right now. He’d be in hysterics.”

Daichi laughs and wraps an arm around Oikawa’s back, pulling him into a quick hug. “I won’t tell him how lame we are if you don’t.”

“Deal,” Oikawa agrees.

They say goodbye again and Daichi goes into his apartment feeling a little embarrassed, and a little pleased and relieved as well. He knows Suga makes his own decisions, but all the same, he’s glad Oikawa seems to like him.

There's no one here to witness the heat in his face at least, since Kuroo has already left for class. A messy note from him is scribbled over the back of some old study notes on the kitchen counter.

_Please give Yuki some attention before you go. And make sure you shut her out of the bathroom when you shower because apparently she’s a water-cat and will just hop right in there. And I’m really sorry but after she did that she jumped on your bed…it might be a little wet. Just know that it’s clean shower water and not pee!!_

Daichi really cannot pull out his phone and text Kuroo quickly enough.

 **Daichi:** w h y does your goddamn cat think my bed belongs to her

 **Kuroo:** i don’t know :((

 **Daichi:** i’m gonna punch you if i run into you today

 **Kuroo:** it’s not my fault! I want her to love me!

 **Daichi:** (눈_눈) (눈_눈) (눈_눈)

 **Kuroo:** how was your night with mai?

 **Daichi:** not bad..she only got up a few times.  
**Daichi:** mamoru was a good pillow

 **Kuroo:** !!!  
**Kuroo:** you’re welcome╰(*´︶`*)╯

 **Daichi:** i gotta get ready...meet me for lunch before chem?

 **Kuroo:** yep! we can compare our homework...that last problem was a bitch huh?

 **Daichi:** seriously...i hope you understood more than i did. see you then

 **Kuroo:** later!

Daichi goes into his room and picks up the damp cat curled on his pillow, taking her straight to Kuroo’s room and setting her on his bed. She stands up immediately.

“What’s the matter with you?” he asks. “Kuroo _wants_ you, I don’t.”

Yuki yowls at him in response, before sniffing at Kuroo’s covers discontentedly.

“Here,” Daichi says, stripping off his t-shirt and spreading it out in the middle of the bed. “What about this?”

It takes a good two minutes of Yuki feigning disinterest, but eventually she saunters over to the shirt and curls up directly on top of it.

“Weirdo. Stay out of my room.”

Yuki ignores him (which is all he wanted from the start), and he goes to get ready for the day, spending as much time as he possibly can in the shower to ease the ache in his back. And then staying there a little longer because he can’t help thinking about Suga, and he can’t help moving his hand between his legs when those thoughts make him hot in a completely different way than the steaming water.

It’s only when he’s been jerking off long enough to be just on the brink, that he catches sight of something white and orange at the edge of the shower curtain, and immediately freezes. He _knows_ he shut the door tight, which means somehow Yuki tailed him and slipped in here like a ghost, hiding out of sight until this exact, terribly-timed moment.

“Turn around,” he says out loud, his hand still tight around his dick.

Yuki pokes herself further into the space between the wall and the curtain, her front paws coming up on the edge of the bath.

Daichi closes his eyes and tries to stroke himself again, but he can _feel_ her, staring at him like she’s looking right into his soul. A moment later he hears a light thunk, and opens his eyes to see that she’s hopped up on the ledge and is trotting to the opposite end of the shower. Technically she can’t see what he’s doing anymore, since he’s facing the spray of water, but he’s officially not in the mood anymore.

He makes sure to deposit her wet-pawed little body right back on Kuroo’s bed when he gets out, then quickly shuts himself in his own room to get dressed, cursing when he sees the time on his phone. There's also a message from Suga that he shouldn’t read because he needs to get going.

 **Suga:** yooou should skip class and just hang out with us today!

 **Daichi:** haha...i wish i could! I have quizzes or things due in every damn class though  
**Daichi:** what are your plans?

 **Suga:** apparently not kissing you a million times since i won’t even see you (￣ヘ￣)

 **Daichi:** i’ll take a raincheck :*

 **Suga:** :D  
**Suga:** we’ll probably just stick around here...maybe venture all the way to the gym  
**Suga:** otake’s sending a car for tooru and hajime at 7 to take them to the airport

 **Daichi:** not going back to kyoto?

 **Suga:** no, the rest of the guys flew to south korea today so they’ll be meeting them there

 **Daichi:** ah  
**Daichi:** well if you want some company tonight...

 **Suga:** :) daichi...always making sure i’m not lonely

 **Daichi:** making sure i get my kisses ;)

 **Suga:** lol...i would love to kiss you tonight  
**Suga:** excessively  
**Suga:** come over when you get home if you’re not too tired

 **Daichi:** how bout I come either way

 **Suga:** :)))

Daichi has to all out run once he finally gets his shit together and heads to school, and he just barely makes it to his first class on time. Between reviewing homework with Kuroo after (and berating him for his stupid, voyeuristic cat), and then the rest of his classes, he’s kept too busy to pull his phone out and text Suga some more, even though he’s tempted to. He doesn’t even really have anything to say, but he never gets tired of earning as many collections of colons and parentheses from Suga as he can.

He reads through the little messages Suga sent while he was in class as he’s getting changed for work in the locker room, and then grudgingly snaps a selfie once he pulls his hot pink t-shirt on, sending it to Suga before he can think better of it.

He doesn't check his phone when he’s working with clients, so it’s not until a few hours later that he pulls it out to read Suga’s response, and finds that there isn’t one. It’s after seven now, so he must have been busy seeing off Iwaizumi and Oikawa. It probably has nothing to do with Daichi looking weird, or Suga suddenly realizing that violently pink shirts aren’t really that attractive on anyone.

It’s only when he finally reaches the end of his second shift and there’s still no message from Suga that he’s a little concerned. Not about his selfie, but about Suga. He throws a hoodie on from his locker and wends his way through the break room quickly on his way out, stopping suddenly when he catches Suga’s name.

He turns around, taking a moment to ascertain that no one is speaking—there are just a couple guys slouched low in their chairs, sipping sports drinks and staring at their phones. The television is on though, the one mounted up in the corner of the room that no one really watches unless there’s a good game on. It’s tuned to some kind of entertainment program where a woman who’s all hair and lips is talking animatedly. She stands beside a screen showing a picture of three young men, and one baby. The shot changes so the woman disappears and there’s just a close up view of the photograph, with her voice still prattling on in the background.

“…weren’t available for comment, but is it a coincidence that Sugawara completely vanished from the limelight two months ago, and now he’s spotted holding a baby that our experts tell us looks to be precisely that age?”

The woman is back in the shot now, with a cheeky, knowing expression, overly sculpted eyebrows raised. The screen beside her changes to another photograph showing Iwaizumi and Oikawa stepping into a dark car, and Suga raising a hand in farewell. Both of the photos are dark and grainy, clearly taken from a bit of a distance, but they seem to have done their job. Daichi opens up his phone’s browser and is immediately met with articles touting the same news. _Hikaru’s lost star spotted. Sugawara Koushi: Baby-sitter or Baby Daddy?_

“Oh God,” Daichi says out loud.

“Hmm?” one his his co-workers asks, looking up from his phone for the first time.

“Nothing, sorry. See you guys,” Daichi says, turning on his heel and hurrying out of the room, his phone already at his ear with a call going through to Suga. It goes straight to voicemail, so he calls Asahi instead.

“Daichi! Hey,” Asahi answers.

“Hey, what’s going on? Is Suga okay?”

“He…he is, yeah, it’s just…” Daichi misses Asahi’s next words as they’re lost under the sound of Mai crying. “…a mess? You saw the news?”

“Yeah, just now. Is he in trouble? For those pictures getting taken?”

“I don’t know,” Asahi says, and then his voice gets quieter, muffled, as he speaks to someone else before returning to Daichi. “Not _trouble,_ but…his phone keeps ringing, they have to decide what they’re gonna say…and Mai is like, it’s like she knows everyone’s anxious maybe? I can’t get her to settle down.”

“You should have called me, I could have cut out early.”

“It all just happened suddenly. You’re off now, right?”

Daichi tells Asahi he’s on his way, forgoing the wait for a bus and taking off on foot.  He doesn’t know enough about the industry to know how bad this is, or how much of a pain it will be for Suga to deal with, but he can imagine that this is the last thing anyone wanted. He’s not even sure why it happened now, but then he remembers the photograph. Whenever Suga comes to meet him at the gym he keeps his face covered as much as possible, but they must have thought they were safe just going down the street and getting into a car, because Suga didn’t have a hat on, and Oikawa and Iwaizumi only had face masks that did nothing to cover up their distinctively styled hair.

So now it's out there, or at least the idea of it: Suga and a baby. Without the benefit of Hikaru’s managers and publicists, or Suga himself being the one to share and control the information.

He can hear Mai as soon as the elevator doors open, so he goes past his own apartment and straight into Asahi and Suga’s.

Suga is right there in the front room, his phone held to his ear, and Mai’s wails are flooding out from behind his closed bedroom door where Asahi must be trying to calm her.

“Ota— _Otake-san,_ hang on, give me two seconds, okay?” Suga says, and then he listens for a moment before lowering his phone. “Daichi…”

“Here,” Daichi says, pulling his key out of his pocket and pressing it into Suga’s hand. “Go next door, or downstairs. Out back maybe? I’ll help Asahi.”

Suga looks at the key in his hand and then back to Daichi. His hair is particularly wild, like he's been running his hands through it, and there's something desperate in his eyes that says the last thing he wants to do is get back on his phone. “This _sucks,”_ he says. “I wasn’t ready to deal with this yet.”

“I know.”

“And Mai’s crying _so hard_ , I don't…I've never heard her cry like this. I'm worried—”

“I’ll find out what's wrong,” Daichi says. “I’ll fix it. It'll be okay.”

Suga glances back over his shoulder as Mai’s crying reaches a level that makes Daichi’s chest tighten uncomfortably. He’s never heard her like this before either. “I just…” he begins, turning back to Daichi.

Daichi can’t see him looking so in need of _something_ and not touch him, so he steps right in front of him and cups his face. “Tell me what you need.”

“I _should_ be with Mai, but I need to deal with this.”

“No,” Daichi says, keeping his eyes steady on Suga. “You should make sure Mai is taken care of, and you are. Asahi and I are here, you’re not leaving her alone. Just focus on what you need to and trust me, okay? I promise I’ll come get you if I’m not sure she’s alright.”

Suga looks so conflicted, and Daichi wonders for the hundredth time what brought him to where he is now—so afraid of failing Mai, when he isn’t even _close_ to doing so, that little things like this are so big for him.

“Koushi,” he says, when Suga doesn’t answer him, just looks up at him with his lip pinched between his teeth. “You’re not your mom, or your dad, or whatever it is you’re afraid of being. You’re _you,_ and you’re exactly what Mai needs and deserves. If you trust me, then you can walk out of here right now and it’s okay. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

There’s a long, quiet moment where Daichi is afraid this was the wrong thing to say—that’s he’s overstepped entirely and pushed Suga away—but then Suga’s wide brown eyes close, and he takes a slow, deliberate breath. He pockets his phone and the key, and slips his hands into Daichi’s hoodie pocket, just like he has before, leaning into him to rest their foreheads together.

“I trust you,” he says. “I do.”

Daichi links his hands behind the small of Suga’s back, closing his own eyes and just feeling Suga’s hair brushing his face, his breath on his skin. “And you. You need to trust yourself, too.”

“Yeah,” Suga says, and then he huffs out a little laugh. It’s uncertain, but not humorless, and Daichi hopes maybe that’s something Suga really feels like he can do. He hopes that he’ll let Daichi keep trying to help him get there, if it's not.

He wants to say this to Suga, or to just hold him and toss his phone out so they can pretend it doesn’t matter that someone saw him with Mai, because it’s no one’s damn business. But Mai is still crying, and Asahi must have a shattered heart at this point.

“I’ll listen to metalcore with you all night long when you’re done with this, okay?” he says, instead of something more meaningful.

When Suga leans back to look at him his eyes are shining, and he manages a smile for the first time since Daichi got here. So it was maybe the best thing to say anyway. “Okay. Thank you.”

Daichi kisses his nose and lets him go. He watches him pull his phone back out and hurry out of the apartment, before steeling himself to open the door and face Mai’s thunderous cries head on.

“ _Daichi,”_ Asahi says when he sees him. “Oh-my-God-I-think-she’s-broken-why-won’t-she-stop?”

It’s hard to say whose face is more red, and Daichi’s memory jumps back to his time as a team captain, when everyone was worked up at once and he’d have to sort it all out before someone got punched in the face. Obviously there will be no punching here, but if Asahi doesn’t calm down, Daichi is going to have two people to take care of instead of one. And with how loud Mai is right now, one is plenty.

“She’s not broken,” he says, reaching to take her from his friend. “Go take a walk and come back when you’re not hyperventilating.”

“But—”

“Asahi…it’ll be fine. Have you checked her temperature yet?”

“ _No,”_ Asahi says, looking absolutely horrified at himself. “I’m sorry! I can—”

“It’s fine, seriously. Go breathe, and then come help me when you’re ready, okay? You just need a break from the crying.”

Asahi nods and hurries over to the basket of odds and ends on the dresser that contains a few different thermometers. “Which…one do you want?” he asks cautiously, because they both helped sort that stuff out when Suga first bought it. They know that one of them is a rectal thermometer, and neither of them want to use it.

“I’ll get it,” Daichi says, avoiding the question. “Go on.”

Asahi gets the hell out of there, which Daichi does not blame him for, and he’s left to sort through the basket himself, bypassing the rectal thermometer for the one that slides across the forehead. He knows the first is supposed to be more accurate (one of the things he picked up from his Google research and then wished he hadn’t), but he figures he’ll start with a less invasive one, and if her temperature seems at all abnormal he’ll decide where to go from there.

He takes Mai over to the bed so he can set her down and check her over, making sure nothing’s pinching her. Her diaper is dry and nothing seems to be amiss. She doesn’t feel unnaturally warm either, considering how hard she's been crying. He crouches over her, stroking her head and murmuring to try to calm her enough to get a decent reading with the thermometer.

“I know, I know,” he says, even though he doesn’t. “We’ll make it better though. We’re gonna show your daddy what a good team we are, yeah? Can you hold still for me so I can see if you have a fever?”

There is no holding still, there’s only flailing and screaming, and Daichi doesn’t think any reading he takes while this is happening could possibly be accurate. He abandons this path for now and just picks Mai up again, holding her close to his chest and starting to sing. It takes two entire songs for her to stop crying hard, and another to seem close to calm, though she’s clearly still unhappy.

“Okay,” he says, when her misery is at least not terrifying anymore. “Let’s try again…let’s see what's going on.”

He lays her back on the bed and carefully swipes the sensor over her forehead, doing it four more times just to be sure. Her temperature is completely normal, and when he touches her little face she feels just like she always does.

“I don’t think that’s it, baby girl,” he tells her, as if she cares. “What else could it be? Are you hungry?”

“She’s not,” Asahi says, coming back in the room. “She just ate before she started crying like this. Do you think her bottle was bad? Did I not burp her well enough?”

Daichi can’t imagine Asahi actually burped her at all. Usually any gas she gets out after he feeds her just bubbles up on its own, because he’s still afraid to pat her back hard enough to do any good.

“I didn’t, did I?” Asahi asks, as Mai’s crying starts to ramp up again.

“She’s usually fine when you feed her, it’s not your fault. Maybe she does just have some trapped gas though?”

“But then what do we do?”

Daichi shakes his head, grabbing his phone and googling solutions for gassy babies. He’s glad it’s just him and Asahi here, because even reading these suggestions feels stupid. But Mai is upset and he's going to help her, so he decides to follow the advice of a discussion board full of parents who swear by bicycling their babies’ legs.

“What?” Asahi asks, when Daichi reads this to him, putting Mai down on the bed once again and crouching next to her so he can hold her little, chubby legs in his hands.

“It says to move them like she’s pedaling a bike. Like…” He starts to move her legs, straightening one while he presses the other gently up towards her stomach, and then cycling them slowly. It’s actually…tremendously cute, and when he presses one leg a little more firmly the response is immediate.

“Oh my God,” Asahi says. “ _Mai-chan.”_

“Wow.”

“Keep going.”

Daichi does, both of them trying not to laugh as Mai releases an improbable amount of gas, and finally looks content.

“Poor baby!” Asahi croons, bending over to kiss her forehead and then scoop her into his arms. “No wonder you were upset. _Why_ was she so gassy?”

“I don’t know…it was the same formula as always?”

Asahi thinks it must have been, but after they investigate they find that the can he’d used was actually not Mai’s standard. To be fair though, they all look basically identical—one of them must have just grabbed the wrong kind at the store the last time they picked it up. Even though it’s now past 11:00pm, Asahi goes straight out to replace it, while Daichi lies down on Suga’s bed with a thoroughly exhausted Mai.

He sends a text to Suga to let him know Mai’s feeling better, and then another to Asahi telling him to get some rest when he gets back. By the time he’s finished doing that, Mai is fast asleep on his chest, and even though Daichi’s a little worn out, and more than a little worried about Suga, he feels really good just now. Mai is such a sweet, warm little weight against him, and it’s such a satisfying feeling to know that he was able to help her with something and make her feel better. He marvels a little over how strong his pride is in something so small, more so than much more seemingly significant things he’s accomplished.

It would worry him, how intensely he’s grown to care about Mai, but he meant what he told Suga. No matter what happens with them, he doesn’t walk away from his friends, and he wouldn’t walk away from Mai either. And even if Suga packed up and moved away with her, he couldn’t regret getting to be part of both of their lives now.

He doesn't see this ending that way, though. He knows their relationship is still so new, and that the days ahead of them will be filled with things he can't predict, but he knows what he feels and what he wants. He knows where this path he’s on right now is heading, and it’s exactly where he wants to go.

Mai makes one of her little sleep sounds, and he lifts his hand from her back to cup her head, stroking his thumb over her soft, dark hair. “See, Baby Mai? We got this,” he tells her softly. “We can do this.”

It was just an upset stomach, but it feels important. And it’s something, right now, when Suga’s dealing with something Daichi can’t fix, to be able to give him this. He closes his eyes and feels Mai breathing on top of him, and he thinks of all the things he’d like to give Suga, and all the things Suga has given him, like this moment right here. He waits to fall asleep in Suga’s bed for a second time without Suga there, with just half-formed thoughts of how very nice it would be if he were. If it were the three of them, all together.

Two months ago Daichi didn’t know that he was going to fall in love, and now he’s managed to do it twice.

* * *

Suga has been watching the moon’s slow glide across the sky for quite a while by the time he finally slips his phone into his pocket, with no plans to take it back out again. He’s spoken to all the group members, Tooru multiple times while his friend repeatedly apologized for not being more careful, and Suga assured him over and over that it wasn’t his fault, that he isn’t angry. He’s told all of them that he doesn’t want to lie about Mai, to cover up what he’s doing with his life, now that it’s already out there. He argued with Otake until his ex-manager relented, as he always has when he knows Suga isn’t letting go of something.

“They’ll hate you, Sugawara,” he warned. “Not all of them, but if you thought it was bad when we ended your contract, think of the response when you confirm you have a baby.”

Suga has been very careful not to expose himself to too much of the negativity resulting from his break with Hikaru, and he has no intention to do anything differently in the wake of sharing this news.

“She’s always going to be my daughter,” he’d replied. “Whether this happens now or in two years, it’s going to happen. Whoever supports me will support me either way.”

“You won’t be able to come back.”

“I’m not coming back,” Suga said, and Otake had gone quiet.

“I don’t know if I’m proud of you, or if I want to slap you.”

“Good thing you’re in Seoul then, hm?”

Otake hadn’t been particularly amused, but he did work with Suga to sort out exactly what his statement would be, making Suga swear in the end that he wouldn’t tell anyone he had approved this.

Suga doesn’t mind that. This was always his choice, and he’ll be the one to own it. It’s hard, to think of what the response may be, and what he’s already broken just by leaving the group, by choosing Mai over everything else. But when he looks at it like that, he’s just as certain as he’s been from the start that this is right. Maybe not in anyone else’s eyes, but for him, and more than anything, for Mai—and there’s nothing in the world more important to him than that. Of course Mai comes first. Not because he didn’t in his family, but because he’s loved her so fiercely since she was placed in his arms that there is no other answer.  

He can go back inside now, to see Mai. To tell her once again, even though the words are just sounds to her, that she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him. He hesitates, though, because it’s not just Mai waiting for him—it’s Daichi—and Suga isn’t sure he has the right words yet for the things he wants to say to him. 

He waits and waits, tracking the moon a little farther on its path, but he still isn’t sure, and he doesn't know that it matters. It’s just that he wants to express this, somehow, the freedom he feels right now, sitting by himself in the night. He’s not afraid, he’s not guilty for not being right next to Mai, he’s just…himself. The way he feels with the perfect song building in his ears, except it’s silent now, and still Suga has this peace. And he knows who helped him find it.

He lets himself quietly into his apartment, peeking in Asahi’s room first since his door is open, and finding him fast asleep. That means Daichi is with Mai.

Suga opens his own door and just stands there for a little while. The curtains are still open, letting a wide bar of moonlight spill across the bed. White light illuminating the rise and fall of Mai’s back, and the slow brush of Daichi’s thumb up and down the line of her spine. His eyes are closed, but he’s awake, keeping Mai comfortable. Making sure she’s safe even in the dead of night.

“Hey,” Suga whispers.

Daichi’s eyes are heavy when he blinks them open, turning his head to see Suga coming toward the bed. “Hey…how’d it go?”

“Okay,” Suga says, moving to lie down next to him, his head on Daichi’s shoulder. “I’m going to make a statement in the morning. I’m not gonna lie about Mai.”

“Is that okay? Like, with Otake-san and everyone?”

“Not really, but they’re not responsible for me now. And it’s unofficially okay with Otake, anyway. I think it’s better this way…to just deal with it now and let them move on.”

“Without you, though,” Daichi says. “This is really the end then, huh?”

Suga nods. There won’t even be an offer for a new contract now. It’s funny how even though he never intended to go back, that knowledge still feels sobering.

“You alright?” Daichi asks after a while. “I don’t want you to go anywhere, Suga, but…are you definitely okay with this?”

“Yes,” Suga says. “It’s hard, but it’s also…a relief, I think? It’s a lot of things, I don’t know…but I feel good. I feel…new.”

“I don’t think I know what that means,” Daichi says, tilting his head to kiss Suga’s forehead. “But I’m really glad.”

Suga laughs softly, nuzzling his nose into Daichi’s shirt. “It’s like…I’ve had this weight for a long time. Not from Mai or Hikaru, from…just from always, I guess. I don’t know…I don’t know how to explain it.”

“You can try, if you want to,” Daichi tells him, wrapping his free arm around Suga’s back. “You can tell me about your family. You don’t have to, but I’m not sure sometimes if you don’t want to talk about it, or if you’re afraid to because you think it’ll change something for me.”

“How is it that you know me so well, Daichi-san?” Suga asks, leaning away from him just enough to be able to face him.

“You didn’t want to tell me about Hikaru or Mai because you thought I’d see you differently. I just figured…this might be similar.”

Suga looks down, running the back of his finger along Mai’s arm. “I think you may have figured that out before I did.”

“It won’t change anything. Whatever happened, it made you _you._ It brought you here.”

“You should write love songs, Daichi,” Suga says, which is not what he really means to say, but actually responding to Daichi’s words is a little more than he’s quite ready for right now. He will, he wants to, but first he wants the rest of this out of the way. “I just…I didn’t want you to think of me as this sad, lost boy.”

“You’re not a sad, lost boy.”

Suga smiles. He’s not at all, and he’s not sure why he was ever afraid that Daichi would minimize him that way.

“I know,” he says. “And it’s nothing that dramatic, the stuff with my family. It just…there never really was one, I guess. Not that I can remember.”

Daichi’s quiet, one hand still on Mai’s back, the other drawing gentle circles on Suga’s. It makes Suga want to cry, how lucky he is, how safe and good this feels. It makes it not so hard to keep going.

“I’ve only ever heard about them from my aunt, she’s my mom’s older sister. My dad left when I was just a few months old. There aren’t even pictures of him so he’s just…a blank space. They didn’t get married, when my mom got pregnant with me. She was a little younger than us, even. He must have been, too. It’s kind of amazing that he stuck around at all.”

It kind of makes it worse, too, or it has sometimes, in Suga’s thoughts. He imagines it would be nicer to think that his dad never knew him, or never even knew he existed, instead of knowing that he did. He knew, he was _there_ with Suga, and he left. Suga knows that couldn't have been his fault, though. He knows his mom leaving wasn’t either. He was just a baby, just like Mai.

“Your mom stayed though?” Daichi asks, reminding Suga that he’s sharing right now, not hiding.

“For a while,” he says. “I honestly don’t remember her either, I think she left me at my aunt’s a lot even then. And then when I was almost three, she just…left.”

“She didn’t come back to your aunt’s?”

“She didn’t come back home,” Suga says.

This is the worst part, the part his aunt, whether out of kindness or disinterest, never actually told him. He only knows more than his own hazy memories because he overheard it, just before middle school began. He heard his cousins complaining about him being in the way, and his aunt spitting that it was too damn bad because no one else wanted him. That her worthless sister left her toddler in a shitty apartment building across town and never went back for him.

He does remember that a little, even though he can’t actually picture his mother. He remembers picking at the peeling wallpaper next to his little bed, and the way he’d cried and cried, but that’s all. There’s nothing of the neighbors finding him, or his aunt coming to get him. His clear memories only start afterwards, with the corner of his youngest cousins’ room that was given to him, and how it felt smaller and smaller every year that his mom never returned and there was nowhere else for him to go, until finally there was Hikaru.

“Koushi…” Daichi says, after Suga has attempted to tell him this as clinically as possible, and managed to start crying anyway. Not so much because it hurts, but because he’s never talked about it with anyone but Asahi, not even Tooru, in this much detail. And there’s an inevitable release that comes along with giving his least favorite part of himself to someone else. “That’s why you wouldn’t leave Mai? In the hospital?”

Suga shrugs, though really that is exactly why. He couldn’t bear the thought of her being there without him. He couldn’t shake all of the nights he lay awake at his aunt’s, tuning out the teasing of his cousins with headphones loaned to him by Asahi, and wondering why it still seemed unbelievable to him, so many years later, that she never came back. That neither of them did. “I know it doesn’t really make sense,” he says. “I know I don’t need to make up for their choices.”

“You don’t,” Daichi says, pulling him in so close against his side that it almost hurts. “God, I hate that that happened, but Mai will never have to feel like that, you know that, right? You don’t have to go out of your way to not let her down. You’re going to do things right just being you.”

“I know. I…logically, I know. I don’t know why it’s been so hard to just let it go.”

“You probably can’t entirely let something like that go, but you—”

“But I can trust myself?” Suga asks, wiping his tear-streaked face on Daichi’s shirt before looking up at him again.

“Yeah. Suga…you’re such a good dad. Mai’s never gonna be left alone like that, and _you…”_

Suga can hear the thickness in Daichi’s voice and he looks away. He doesn’t want Daichi to cry for him, or for him to look at Suga and see that scared little boy who didn’t know where his mother went. He doesn’t want that to make him say he’ll make sure Suga’s never alone either.

“…you’ll be just like my dad is to me,” Daichi says. “You’ll always be her rock.”

This wasn’t what Suga was expecting. He sniffles and meets Daichi’s eyes again. “You think so?”

Daichi nods, and his eyes are teary, but he’s looking at Suga like he’s sure of him, not like he sees him as anything less or different than he did before.

“I get scared sometimes,” Suga says, “that maybe my dad thought he could do it in the beginning, and then he couldn’t.”

“No,” Daichi says. “Whatever happened with him, it doesn’t matter. History isn’t gonna force itself on you. You’re your own force, Suga.”

“A tsunami.”

“Yeah. A tsunami.”

Suga starts crying again, at the way Daichi says this like it’s absolute truth. Like he doesn’t have the slightest doubt in Suga’s strength.

“Hey," Daichi says, holding Mai tightly to his chest so he can sit up a little, before touching Suga’s cheek. "Koushi—"

“I’m okay,” Suga says.

“I wish…I’m so sorry, that you’ve had to worry about this stuff. That…that it happened at all.”

“I’m not…I’m really not.”

“But—”

“You were right, Daichi,” Suga tells him, smiling at him, at all the compassion in his eyes. He doesn’t pity Suga, he just cares about him, and about Mai, and Suga isn’t sorry at all that his past was what it was, if it brought him to this present. “Look at where my life led me. Look at what I get to do. I get…” Suga's voice breaks as he touches Mai’s cheek, pink and warm from being pressed to Daichi’s chest. “I get to love her, and I get…Daichi…”

Suga can see Daichi swallow, and he doesn’t make him wait anymore for the words that have been pulsing through him like the steadiest beat.

“I love you,” Suga says. “I get to love you.”

Daichi’s breath catches a little. It does that sometimes, when Suga’s with him. When Suga pointed it out once, he said it’s because Suga takes it away, and Suga punched him playfully and told him he was too much.

He thinks Daichi really meant it though, and God, he loves that so much.

“Daichi…”

Daichi swallows again, and then says, “I thought we were going to take this slow, Sugawara-san.”

“I don’t know what happened,” Suga admits. “It’s probably your fault.”

“Probably,” Daichi agrees, before he slips his hand into Suga’s hair and pulls him close, kissing him so slow and deep and sweet that Suga almost forgets to breathe. “I love you, too,” he says after, his hand slipping down to cup the back of Suga’s neck. “When I told you I was falling in love with you, I was already there.”

“I think I was, too,” Suga admits. “But I was afraid to say it out loud.”

“How come?”

Suga isn’t really sure. Maybe because he felt like Daichi needed to know who he was, before Suga could accept him loving who he is. Maybe because Daichi was right, and Suga needed to be willing to try trusting himself before he could really trust anything else.

“I don’t know,” he says. “I’m not afraid now.”

Daichi smiles and kisses him again. He wraps his arm back around him and pulls him close, so the three of them are cuddled together. Suga's leg over Daichi's, their hands interlaced on Mai’s back.

“So it was _gas?”_ Suga asks, and Daichi laughs.

“Oh my God, Suga. You wouldn't believe it…this poor baby.”

Suga snuggles in a little closer to Daichi and listens to the whole story, told in whispered exclamations while Mai sleeps on. They never do pull out headphones and listen to metalcore for the rest of the night, but it's not a broken promise. Daichi gives Suga exactly what he needs from those songs with the rumble of his voice, and Mai does the same with the soft, steady beat of her heart under Suga's palm.

His life has been filled with music, but it's this simple, unexpected little symphony of touch and warmth and quiet laughter that feels like a melody he's had stuck at the back of his head and couldn't quite place until now. It's the sound of certainty, the sound of choosing to be right here, right now, instead of anywhere else in the world. It's the innate knowledge of belonging that he's felt in wonderful snatches before, with Asahi and with Hikaru, but never quite so powerfully as he feels it here, with Daichi's hand in his hair, and his daughter sleeping soundly in their arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! The final chapter will be up next Saturday (*^‿^*)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are! I didn't even try to keep the word count under control for this last chapter, so I hope you're settled in somewhere nice and cozy. Let me just give one more thank you to [Essie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esselle/pseuds/Esselle) for beta-reading this entire thing while also writing her own beautiful works, and always being there when I need her. Which is quite frequently. I'm endlessly grateful for you, friend ❤

**Kuroo:** omg i forget my phone charger one night and all this shit goes down? I have like 349579 messages from asahi

 **Daichi:** dude where the fuck have you been???

 **Kuroo:** kenma’s!! I texted you from his phone so you’d know i was staying there and wasn’t dead!

 **Daichi:** no you did not!  
**Daichi:** i had my phone with me all night  
**Daichi:** i knew you weren’t dead because you texted me when you got there dumbass  
**Daichi:** i just wondered why you then vanished and failed to be there for all the shit

 **Kuroo:** the fuck?  
**Kuroo:** oh....

 **Daichi:** sent it to the wrong number?

 **Kuroo:** yep  
**Kuroo:** so how is everyone?? I just saw the news...suga’s all the fuck over it  
**Kuroo:** he tweeted about Baby Mai!!!

 **Daichi:** he did!  
**Daichi:** everyone's fine...mai was just super gassy, we gave her the wrong formula  
**Daichi:** and Suga is okay! we’re avoiding all screens currently, but he’s good

 **Kuroo:** ah...yeah i’ve been looking through some of the comments  
**Kuroo:** there are some real pieces of work out there  
**Kuroo:** but! a lot of people are being really supportive too!

 **Daichi:** yeah?

 **Kuroo:** yeah! There’s even this like...hang on

The next message to pop up is a link. Daichi glances over at Suga, who’s busy changing Mai out of her pajamas, and opens it up. He finds himself on a website dedicated to “Our Sugawaii,” which is comprised of nothing but posts written to or about Suga, telling him that he’s loved and supported, that whatever he does his fans are behind him. Daichi scrolls through them for a while, skimming over accounts of sweet little things Suga has said and done at fan meetings, pictures of personalized notes he wrote on posters and photocards, memories of the ways he’s supported other idols over the years.

None of this surprises Daichi, of course. He knows that even though Suga is more than his sugar-sweet idol image, he’s also every bit as thoughtful and kind as his fans believe him to be. So very deserving of every bit of praise Daichi sees here.

He follows another link that takes him to Twitter, and finds that there’s a hashtag trending for everyone supporting Suga and his news. There are probably an equal amount of hateful tweets and posts out there, but he’s glad to know that there’s all of this good stuff too.

“Suga,” he says. “Come see this.”

Suga sets Mai in her little bouncy chair and comes to sit on the edge of the bed, leaning into Daichi’s shoulder. “No screens!” he says, when he realizes Twitter is open on Daichi’s phone.

“It’s good, though! I’m just in the…WeLovePapaSuga tag. They just want you to know they’re behind you.”

“Papa Suga…” Suga smiles, settling in more comfortably next to him to read tweet after tweet while Daichi scrolls through them slowly. He shows Suga the support site next, then has to go retrieve some tissues for him.

“They don’t hate me,” Suga says after blowing his nose.

“Of course not. You’re doing a good thing, Suga. You’re taking care of your baby.”

“Still, though…this is…really nice.”

Daichi smiles, then snatches the phone away from Suga quickly when he spots a rude comment on the post he was reading.

“You don’t have to hide that from me,” Suga says, still with a watery smile. “I know it’s not all rainbows and butterflies.”

“Yeah well, it should be. You don’t need to read shit like that.”

“No, I don’t,” Suga agrees. “It doesn’t matter. I’m really happy knowing there’s this pocket of sweet, supportive angels out there.”

“And this one, here,” Daichi says, nodding towards Mai. She obliges him by making a ferociously cute expression, lips drawn together like she’s about to blow a kiss, and eyes wide and round.

“I wonder what she’s thinking,” Suga says, laughing when she scrunches up her nose a moment later and makes a funny little bubbly sound with her lips.

Daichi pretends this was a serious question and comes up with his best suggestions in answer. Just the dumbest things he can think of to make Suga laugh, because there’s really nothing he’d rather do. He feels closer to him than he ever has right now, after a night spent fully dressed, with a baby cuddled on top of them, and he wishes he could spend the whole day here beside him. But unfortunately (so unfortunately) since he didn’t go home last night, and Kuroo didn’t either, there’s probably a very hungry cat next door.

“Don’t read the garbage, okay?” Daichi reminds Suga after he kisses him goodbye. “You don’t owe anyone anything.”

“I know. You don’t need to worry about me.”

“I’m not worried…just—”

“You’ve been trying to take care of me since the moment you met me, Sawamura,” Suga says, smiling at him warmly as he pokes him in the chest.

“Maybe you should just let me then, hmm?” Daichi says, teasing and light, even though he knows what Suga said is true. Not because he thinks Suga _needs_ to be taken care of (though he sure as hell deserves to be), but because...he loves him. And before he loved him he was drawn to him, with this persistent little ache inside that made him want to see Suga’s smile more than anything else. He wouldn’t say this out loud, of course—at least not to anyone but Suga—but he doesn’t mind that his thoughts run in these directions now. It’s nice, feeling so absurdly alive just because a certain person is looking at him a certain way.

He’s looking at him that way now, the teasing gone from his lips, and just a soft smile left behind. “Okay,” Suga says. “But you have to let me take care of you, too.”

“Okay,” Daichi agrees easily. He feels like Suga is already doing that, just being here and loving him. He doesn’t really need anything else.

“This weekend we’re having a date, just you and me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. A nice one. Out of the house and everything.”

“ _Really.”_

Suga grins, tugging on the front of Daichi’s shirt to pull him forward and bump their noses together. “I won’t even wear sweatpants.”

“Damn, this is serious,” Daichi says. “I’d better dig out the one suit I own.”

“Please do.”

Daichi promises he will, and he kisses Suga once more before finally making himself leave.

Yuki is standing right in front of the door when he opens it, looking extremely disdainful.

“Cat,” Daichi greets her, and Yuki yowls back at him. “It’s not my fault. You’re Kuroo’s responsibility.”

Yuki does not give a shit. She doesn’t stop meowing, grating and loud, until Daichi has replaced her water and filled her food bowl. When he leaves her crunching away on the kitchen floor, he finds a new, thick layer of white hair all over his pillow.

 **Daichi:** your fucking cat, kuroo

 **Kuroo:** i’m sorry!! I’m on my way home

 **Daichi:** bring a lint roller  
**Daichi:** or five

 **Kuroo:** on it

Daichi leaves his gross bed behind and goes into the equally gross bathroom to take a shower. He can’t, of course, because the litter box needs to be scooped. And by the time he’s done that, Yuki is finished eating, and immediately trots into the bathroom to perch on the edge of the tub.

“What’s wrong with you? Stop trying to watch me shower.”

Yuki just flicks her tail, but Daichi's not putting up with this again. He picks her up and drops her outside the room, shutting the door before she can even think of darting back in.

By the time he’s showered and dressed in clean boxers and jeans that are…not filthy at least, Kuroo has returned. He’s already gotten to work dragging a lint roller over Daichi’s bed.

“Kuroo…I don’t want a cat,” Daichi tells him, even though he has already made this point exhaustively.

“Dude, I don’t know why she loves you so much. It’s breaking my heart.”

Daichi sighs and flops down on the end of his bed, where Kuroo seems to have put in a good de-hairing effort. “Guess what,” he says, with his eyes closed so he won’t have to be embarrassed.

“What?”

“I slept at Suga’s last night.”

The bed sinks in next to him, and Kuroo’s elbow pokes into his side. “Slept _at_ Suga’s, or slept _with_ Suga?”

Daichi tries to bump Kuroo with his shoulder, but since he’s leaning back on his elbows he isn’t able to put much force behind it. “Both, but not like…we had Mai with us. We just slept.”

“Ah…well, still.”

“Yeah. He told me about his family. He told me he loves me.”

The sound that Kuroo makes upon hearing this is not something that can be reproduced. He follows it up by crashing into Daichi, wrapping an arm around him, and slapping his back repeatedly. “ _Duuude.”_

“Stop it,” Daichi tells him, laughing and trying to push him off.

“I’m so happy for you! You’re like…God, you’re all soft and in love, it’s so weird!”

“Shut up. I’m not soft.”

“You’re so soft,” Kuroo insists, poking Daichi’s cheek before finally letting go and leaning back beside him again. “Seriously, man…that’s awesome. It’s all bizarrely grown up and domestic and stuff, but it’s really cool. It seems right.”

“Yeah,” Daichi says, because it is kind of crazy, and not what he thought he would have at twenty years old, but it _feels_ right. It feels really goddamn good. “What about you and Kenma? Anything new?”

“Ah…” Kuroo says, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, we made out last night.”

“What? For real?”

“ _Yeah._ He kissed me, and then, like…my heart stopped beating and I thought that was the end, right? Like I didn’t even say anything, I don’t think I even really kissed him back, and then he just…kept kissing me.”

There’s a lot for Daichi to sort through there, but one thing stands out over the rest, demanding his immediate attention. “Wait, you thought it was the end like…you didn’t think you’d kiss again? Or you literally thought—”

“I was dead, yeah. That one.”

"Kuroo…"

“Look man, it’s been a lot for my heart, okay?”

Daichi shakes his head, but he can’t help grinning at his ridiculous, soft-hearted friend. He’s been trying very hard to just take what he has with Kenma for what it is, but of course he wanted this. And of course he would respond to it like only Kuroo could.

“Yeah, okay. I can’t believe that wasn’t the first thing you said to me today. How did you contain it for so long?”

“Well I’m not an _asshole_ , Sawamura. I care about Suga. And…I dunno. I was kind of enjoying just thinking about it.”

“That’s really unlike you.”

“Yeah.” Kuroo is still smiling. “Tell me you’re happy for me now, though.”

“Of course I am,” Daichi laughs. “Not a sweater-cat, then.”

“Nope. I even asked him after, if this was what I thought it was…so I wouldn’t have to worry about it being a friends with benefits thing.”

“And?”

“And…” Kuroo drops his head, pressing his hands over his eyes. “He just looked at me like...like the way you do all the time, and he said…” He looks up now, fixing Daichi with an expression that Daichi is pretty sure he does wear a lot while talking to Kuroo. A blend of exhaustion, bewilderment, and fondness. “‘We’ve been dating for weeks, Tetsu, what do you think?’”

“Oh my God.”

“Yep.”

“Kenma had it all figured out and you just hadn’t caught up.”

“To be fair…the signs weren’t real fucking clear.”

Daichi snorts and doesn’t say anything. He’s not even sure at this point if they were clear or not, with Kenma being kind of strange, and Kuroo being Kuroo, but in any case, he _is_ really happy for his friend.

“Look at us,” Kuroo says. “Not so hopeless after all.”

“Well…” Daichi says. Because while their romantic lives have certainly turned around, he wouldn’t exactly say they’re aren’t hopeless.

“Right. Well, we have hot boyfriends.”

Daichi raises his fist so Kuroo can bump it. They do have that.

*

It’s a few days before Daichi gets to spend any time alone with said hot boyfriend after that, with work and school and Mai keeping them busy, but they have their date on Saturday night to look forward to. Their first actual date, not at home or in a hospital.

 **Daichi:** so are we really wearing suits? just so i’m clear?

 **Suga:** you can wear whatever you’re comfortable in!  
**Suga:** just...not sweats or jeans

 **Daichi:**  i’m very comfortable in sweats and jeans though

 **Suga:** daicho

 **Daichi:** lol...fine. i’ll dress nicely. where are we going?

 **Suga:** a fancy-pants place downtown. children aren’t even allowed there

 **Daichi:** wow...good thing you’re paying

 **Suga:** XD  
**Suga:** i’m gonna wine and dine the shit out of you, sawamura-san...you deserve it

 **Daichi:** you know i’d literally be happy with anything, right?

 **Suga:** i know  <3  
**Suga:** i just want to spoil you  
**Suga:** Asahi and Kuroo are taking care of Mai  
**Suga:** and you and i are going to have a good night

 **Daichi:** okay :)

 **Suga:** a very good night

 **Daichi:** what...does that mean exactly? how good are you thinking?

 **Suga:** i don’t know what you’re talking about ╮(︶▽︶)╭  
**Suga:** are you propositioning me daichi?

 **Daichi:** i thought you didn’t know what i was talking about ;p

 **Suga:** (˙꒳˙)

 **Daichi:** dork  
**Daichi:**  well...i’m just saying. it’s not every night we get to be alone

 **Suga:** lol it’s not any night, actually  
**Suga:** and personally i do intend to take full advantage of it

 **Daichi:** that does sound like a very good night then

 **Suga:** it does, doesn’t it?

 **Daichi:** tomorrow seems weirdly far away

 **Suga:** i know...i should probably visit you tonight so i can kiss you in your pink shirt

 **Daichi:** how’d you know i’m wearing my pink shirt?

 **Suga:** lucky guess, and lucky me XD

 **Daichi:** you’re ridiculous, but my break is at 6:15...please come kiss me

 **Suga:** ❤(ɔˆз(ˆ⌣ˆc)  
**Suga:** i’ll be there

*

It takes Daichi longer than should really be possible to get ready the night of their date. Choosing an outfit is a short project, since he only has one option: the blazer and slacks he wore to his dad’s retirement party not long before he met Suga, with a simple, white button-down. He can’t seem to locate his belt though, and has to borrow one of Kuroo’s. And then he can’t find his dress shoes either, but thankfully Asahi stops by and manages to unearth them under a heap of unwashed laundry in Daichi’s closet.

“This is really gross,” Asahi says, pushing the clothes back into the closet with his foot while Daichi ties his shoes.

“I never wear that stuff, so…” he waves a hand.

“Then get rid of it?” Asahi suggests.

Daichi just looks at him blankly, then goes into the bathroom to make sure his hair looks okay, which it doesn’t. It dried weirdly after his shower and now he has to get it wet again.

“Goddammit.”

“I don’t think Suga cares,” Asahi says, leaning against the wall just inside the bathroom. “But it’s nice that _you_ care so much.”

Daichi side-eyes his friend, shaking his head when he sees the soft, proud expression on his face. “Of course I care. It’s for Suga.”

Asahi just smiles bigger, then quietly points out that Daichi is getting water all over his shirt, and Suga will be picking him up in less than ten minutes.

In the end, aside from a few water spots, Daichi’s pretty satisfied. His clothes are well made and fit him nicely (since his mom was in charge of both selecting and paying for them), and his hair cooperated perfectly the second time around. Kuroo comes in just before Suga gets there, with Mai in his arms, and makes a big show of pinching Daichi’s cheeks and cooing over how handsome he looks, knowing full well that Daichi can’t punch him while he’s holding a baby.

And then Suga comes to the door, and Daichi forgets that anyone else is there. He forgets to breathe a little bit, too, and definitely how to put words together, because it’s taking all his focus just to comprehend that the vision in front of him is not only an actual person, but an actual person who is in love with him.  

“Your hair,” he says, because this is the first thing he notices. Suga cut it, sometime between now and when Daichi saw him briefly that morning. It’s not short, but not quite long enough to be pulled into that tiny ponytail anymore. Still enough to tangle his fingers in it, and enough to fall soft around Suga’s face. It’s just a little lighter, and a little cleaner, and somehow, even though Daichi loved that little ponytail a lot, makes him look even more handsome.

Or maybe it’s just that he’s smiling at Daichi the way he is, and his eyes are bright, and he’s dressed like he just stepped out of the pages of a fashion spread. Daichi looks good, formal enough to be fine wherever Suga’s planning to take him tonight, but Suga…Suga is wearing a _suit._ Dark and quietly, undeniably expensive looking, perfectly fitted to his body in a way that makes him look every bit the idol that the rest of the country knows him as. Daichi is crazy about the Suga he knows best, the one in sweatpants and stretched out t-shirts, with messy hair, and socks that always seem to be in the process of falling off (much like Mai’s, actually). But this part of Suga…this is something Daichi is really glad to know, too.

He reaches to touch Suga’s hair, shiny and sleek, slipping through his fingers when he tries to brush it out of his eyes.

“What do you think?” Suga asks. “I was ready for something different. Not Hikaru-Suga, not _not_ Hikaru-Suga, just…”

Daichi kisses Suga, light and sweet, with both hands in his hair. “You look incredible,” he says.

“Alright, that’s enough of that,” Kuroo’s voice says somewhere behind him. “Get out of here and be embarrassing somewhere else.”

Suga laughs, pulling Daichi closer when he starts to step back. “You do, too,” he says, his eyes running over Daichi’s body slowly before coming back up to his face. “This is getting a top spot. Right up there with the pink t-shirt.”

Kuroo coughs loudly and Daichi flips him off over his shoulder.

“The baby _saw_ that, Sawamura.”

The baby wasn’t even looking at them. She’s been transferred to Asahi’s arms and is very busy pulling on a chunk of his hair that she managed to get in her hand.

“That’s really why you cut your hair, isn’t it?” Daichi asks, and Suga grins back at him.

“It was a factor,” he says, leaning over Mai to kiss her cheek. “Have a good night with your uncles, Mai-chan. I’d hug you goodbye, but I can’t risk you spitting up on me.”

“Seriously,” Asahi says, taking a step backwards. “Please don’t even stand so close to her.”

Suga of course moves closer again and gives her another kiss, but eventually all the last minute instructions are given, the last kisses are blown before the door is closed, and Daichi and Suga are actually alone. And leaving. To a place that is not the steps behind their building, or the gym.

“Ready, boyfriend?” Suga asks, holding out his hand to Daichi.

He looks so confident, so beautiful even under the harsh fluorescent lighting in the hallway. So different from the boy who stood here months ago in an oversized sweatshirt, with his hands full of bottles and diapers for a baby he didn’t know how to tell Daichi about.

But really, Daichi thinks, not actually that different at all. Because Suga is all of these things at once—soft and vulnerable, breathtaking and indomitable. He’s the quiet lullaby Daichi hears on the other side of his wall at night, and the chorus of voices screaming in his ears when their headphones are on, and Daichi’s world becomes only the crash of drums and the taste of Suga’s lips.

“Yeah,” he says, taking Suga’s hand. “Let’s go.”

They take a taxi to the restaurant, and even this is new and different for them, to be by themselves in the back of a car. They talk quietly and kiss softly, both of them a little surprised when the twenty minute drive is already over and they arrive at the restaurant—the restaurant that is nothing like Daichi’s ever been to before. The waitstaff is arguably better dressed than him. The bathrooms are almost as big as his entire apartment.

“Suga,” he says, looking around at the opulent surroundings of the main dining room after they’re seated. It’s all soft, golden lighting winking off of dark wood and gleaming, delicate table settings. “This is…”

“A special occasion,” Suga says. “I love the dates we have at home, and I love that you never complain about how much we get interrupted, or how there’s usually something gross on my shirt.”

Daichi smiles, finding Suga’s foot under the table so he can cross their ankles together.

“But sometimes, I want to do this, too. I want to have you all to myself. I want to be clean and well-dressed for you, and see you looking the way you do right now.”

“I love you every way,” Daichi tells him, and he means it. But he has to admit, there is something really nice about this. About being on their own, and knowing that it was important to Suga to look as amazing as he does, just for Daichi. That he planned this night because he wanted to be able to do something for him.

Daichi doesn’t _need_ this, but he knows that it’s more than just nice clothes and a fancy restaurant. It’s Suga understanding that if they go out like this, halfway across the city, Mai is still just as treasured and loved and cared for by him as she would be if he were directly beside her every minute of the day. It’s Suga saying that he knows the things he wants still matter.

Daichi always knew these things, but it was harder for Suga, and seeing that he knows it now, too—knows that he can be himself, and be Mai’s father, and anything else he wants to be—really does make this a special occasion.

“I love this too, though,” Daichi adds. “And balance is always good.”

“That’s very Daichi of you,” Suga says with a smile. “Should we make a system for it? Ten dates that involve bad food and/or crying earn us one night on the town?”

“We might need to be more specific. Is that only if Mai cries, or does it apply to people with a low threshold for spicy ramen, too?”  

Suga laughs, reaching across the table for Daichi’s hand. “Only Mai. I reserve the right to make you cry on any date, fancy or otherwise.”

“Vicious,” Daichi says, and Suga laughs loudly before pressing his free hand over his mouth. “Should I be nervous?”

He doesn't get an answer to that question, because their server returns just then with chilled glasses of wine. They drink it slowly, and take their time eating dinner, talking and laughing and not checking their phones for the time like they often do when they're not with Mai. Or even when they are with her, and they need to keep track of when she last ate, and when she needs to go down for a nap.

“When did you tell them we’d be back?” Daichi asks, when Suga has taken care of the bill (he wouldn’t let Daichi see it, and Daichi thinks that’s probably for the best), and they’re stepping out into the clear, mild night.

“I didn’t,” Suga says. “They’ll be at Noya’s by now.”

"Noya's?"

Suga nods, smiling as he takes Daichi’s hand. “He lives with his parents, but they’re out of town tonight, so everyone’s going to stay over there. Kenma, too.”

“But…that means—”

“That our apartments are empty, yes.”

“For the whole night?”

“Mhm. I packed everything they’ll need for Mai. Kenma’s bringing a new game. They should all be very happy and busy.”

“And we’ll be…alone,” Daichi says. He realizes they did discuss this the day before, but he thought it would be the kind of alone they’re familiar with, where their friends are next door with Mai, on the other side of far too thin walls.

Suga just smiles at him, raising a hand to hail a cab.

The ride home feels quite slow, in comparison to the drive to dinner. Perhaps because Daichi can’t stop thinking about the empty apartments. And because Suga is resting his hand on Daichi’s knee, moving his fingers in lazy circles that sweep to his inner thigh, and then slowly, slowly upwards.  

By the time they’re unlocking Suga’s apartment (their chosen destination since Daichi’s has a cat inside it, most likely commandeering his bed), Daichi has already undressed Suga several times in his mind, and is barely containing his desperation to do it for real. He kisses Suga as soon as the door is closed, lifting him up and pressing him back against it, a little harder than he meant to.

“Sorry, sorry,” he says, kissing Suga’s jaw, hitching him up a little higher so the other man can wrap his legs around Daichi’s waist.

“I’m fine,” Suga laughs. “I’m…mmm.” He leans his head back as Daichi kisses and nips his way down his neck, holding most of Suga’s weight against the door with his hips so he can use one hand to try to get his jacket off. “You know we don’t…have to be in a hurry.”

“I know,” Daichi says, giving up on the jacket and attempting the buttons of Suga’s vest instead. “But I really want you.”

Suga smiles, unbuttoning his shirt himself once his vest is open, exposing pale skin and tight, smooth muscle. “I’m all yours.”

Daichi’s brain implodes a little at Suga’s words, still struggling to come to terms with the fact that they have this entire night. That they can take all the time they want to do anything they want to.

He takes a deep breath, drinking in the slight flush on Suga’s chest, the soft pink marks Daichi’s left on his throat. He’s so gorgeous, with his hair falling in his eyes, and the deep black of the jacket slipping off his shoulders contrasting with his fair skin.

Daichi still wants to take everything off of Suga, piece by piece, but he stops at this for now, leaning in to kiss him instead. Catching his lips with his own, and dipping his tongue between them. He shivers when Suga slips his fingers down the back of his shirt, ghosting them softly over the top of his spine, and deepens their kiss with a sigh. Breathes in Suga’s soft shampoo and the clean scent of his skin. He could kiss him like this forever, with the heat of Suga’s body pressed so tightly against him, his other hand in Daichi’s hair now.

Except…this position does make it impossible to get their pants down, and while some of his patience has been restored, Daichi _would_ like to get there eventually.

“I’m gonna…put you down,” he says, keeping one arm tight behind Suga’s back to support him while he unwraps his legs from Daichi’s waist and gets his feet back on the floor.

Once he's standing, Suga kisses him again, his hands slipping inside Daichi's blazer to slide it off his shoulders, while both of them toe off their shoes. “My room?” he asks, lips brushing Daichi's.

“Hm…no,” Daichi says, taking a step back. “Mai sleeps in that bed.”

Suga laughs as he hangs their jackets from the little hooks near the front door. “She's not there right _now.”_

“I know, but…” Daichi looks around the apartment at their limited options. Obviously Asahi's room is out. The couch isn't bad, but it isn't exactly that roomy either, for everything he wants to do with Suga tonight. “Maybe—”

“Right here?” Suga asks, gesturing towards the living room floor. The same empty space where Daichi first saw Suga, stretched out on his back with his eyes closed. When he was a question, and Daichi so badly wanted to know the answer.

Now he knows Suga—some of him, at least—and there’s still so, so much he wants to find out. He can't think of a better place to learn a few more things than right here, where all of this started.

“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, this is…”

Suga smiles at him, because he knows exactly what it is. He takes his hand and leads him farther into the room, wrapping his arms around Daichi once they're right in the middle, and stepping in close so their chests are pressed together.

“Dance with me?” he asks.

Daichi nods, his nose brushing through Suga's hair, arms slipping around him to hold him tight. It's barely dancing really, it's more like swaying while hugging, but Suga doesn't seem to mind. He rests his head on Daichi's shoulder, hips flush with Daichi's while they move slowly from side to side. It’s a lot like when Suga was teaching him to dance, except they’re behind a locked door now, and there’s no music playing. Just Suga’s soft breathing, and the brush of fabric under their hands. The heat of Suga’s bare skin through Daichi's shirt.

He tips Suga’s chin up so he can kiss him—his lips, his cheek, his ear—and then turns him around, pulling him back against his chest. Slipping his hand in Suga’s open shirt to press it to his stomach, toned, but still soft, and so warm on his palm. He’s tempted to move his hand down, slide his fingers into Suga’s pants, but Suga was right—they don’t have to be in a hurry. Daichi can let his desire for Suga keep building up, keep enjoying the burn of it, and know that everything they’re wanting is right here at their fingertips, whenever they really can't wait anymore.

So for now, he keeps dancing with Suga. Kissing the back of his neck and starting to hum an old song he’s heard his dad sing before. Usually while serenading his mom with a wooden spoon in the middle of their kitchen.

 _“Someday, when I'm awfully low,”_ he sings quietly. _“When the world is cold, I will feel a glow just thinking of you, and the way you look tonight.”_

“Stop,” Suga says, leaning his head back on Daichi's shoulder. His eyes are closed, his lips curved up softly. “You're going to melt me.”

Daichi kisses Suga's temple and hums a little more, low and soft by his ear. He sings again when he remembers the words that come next. It feels like he could have written them.

_“You're lovely, with your smile so warm, and your cheeks so soft. There is nothing for me but to love you, and the way you look tonight.”_

A tear slips down Suga’s cheek and Daichi holds him even closer, humming the rest of the song, singing a few lines here and there until he runs out of them.

“What does it mean,” he asks in a whisper, “if I make you cry while on a fancy date?”

Suga laughs, opening his eyes to meet Daichi’s. “It means you have to kiss me,” he says.

It’s a little awkward, with Suga’s back to his chest, but Daichi makes it work. He presses his lips to Suga’s gently, keeping one arm wrapped around his ribs, and letting his other hand move down now. He slips his fingers under Suga’s waistband, follows that trail of hair he's always been so fascinated by to the top of his underwear, and then inside of it. Feeling the heat there, drawing a soft moan from Suga when he presses deeper and reaches his dick.

"Daichi…"

Daichi slides his hand out, running it up over Suga’s abs, over his chest. He cups his throat and kisses him again, waiting until Suga is pressing back against him, whining against his lips, before bringing both hands to Suga’s belt and working the soft, black leather open. He undoes his pants and moves his hand over him slowly, palming him through his boxer-briefs.

“You’re really taking that ‘we don’t have to be in a hurry’ thing seriously now,” Suga pouts, reaching an arm back to drag his fingers through Daichi’s hair.

“It’s just nice,” Daichi says. “Knowing no one’s waiting for us. No one’s gonna walk in.”

It’s freeing, to be able to stand here just feet away from the front door and do this. To slip his hand in Suga’s underwear again, because he can. To reach down to play with his balls gently, then work his hand over his cock in a steady rhythm. He slides his other hand back up Suga’s chest to tease his nipples, pinching lightly and kissing behind his ear until Suga’s whimpering, the tip of his cock going slick against Daichi’s skin.

“Want me to stop?” Daichi asks, as if he isn’t getting just as worked up. As if Suga can’t feel how hard he is, pressed right behind him.

“I want you to get your clothes off,” Suga says, cutting Daichi’s teasing short entirely. “And get a condom.”

“Oh,” Daichi says, a little startled. Very dramatically turned on.

Suga smiles when Daichi’s hands go still on him, tilting his head to face him. “Is that…not what you want?”

“ _Yes,_ it’s…shut up,” Daichi says, blushing and pressing his face to Suga’s shoulder. “You know it is.”

“If you’re not ready, we can—”

“I’m ready,” Daichi growls, sliding both hands inside Suga’s boxer-briefs. He grips the tops of his thighs and pins him back against himself as he rolls his hips, pressing hard against Suga's ass. “I’m ready.” 

Suga hums and rocks back against him, circling his own hips and demolishing Daichi’s last bit of restraint, leaving him needier than when they got out of the cab. He wants all of Suga’s clothes off, he wants him on the floor. He wants to make him moan so loud his voice breaks, while Daichi’s the only one who will get to hear it.

“Then what are you waiting for?” Suga asks, suddenly the one in control.

Daichi has enough sense to know that he’s been played, but he really doesn't give a shit. He turns Suga around and kisses him a little sloppily while pulling his shirt and vest all the way off, rolling his shoulders back to help Suga get his own shirt out of the way.

“You have condoms?” he asks. “Do I need to go next door?”

“I…don’t,” Suga says, biting his lip and looking adorably chagrined suddenly. “And I know, I know…says the guy with the baby.”

Daichi smiles at him, pausing in pushing his pants off his hips to kiss his nose. “You can’t get me pregnant, at least.”

“No, and I was actually…did you want to bottom? I was kind of hoping—”

“Oh, I just meant—” Daichi interrupts. He was just making a joke, but he realizes now that they haven’t actually talked about this yet, their preferences. Daichi’s can be easily summed up by _everything,_ though, so it’s not really something that needs to be established ahead of time. “Sorry, what…what were you hoping?”

“I, uh…” Suga doesn’t look shy very often, and it’s particularly debilitatingly attractive right now, with his chest bare and his pants undone, and the way he’s rubbing one socked foot against the other. “I’ve always preferred topping, but I’ve also never…I’ve never been with someone like you. Or, I mean…someone who makes me feel the way you do.”

“How…do I make you feel?” Daichi asks, touching Suga’s chin so he'll meet his eyes.

“Like…I usually feel like I need to be in control, I guess. But with you I just… _don’t,_ you know? I trust you, and you always make me feel so good, and I just, I love being in your hands. I thought it would be…nice. To be fucked by you.”

“Nice,” Daichi repeats. It’s all he can manage right now, because he’s never been complimented quite like this before, and it’s doing a lot of things both to his heart and the level of his desire to be inside of Suga.

“More than nice,” Suga says, flushing now, even as his posture relaxes. “Would that be okay?”

“It _…yeah,_ it would be okay,” Daichi tells him with a kind of breathless laugh. “I’m comfortable both ways, so…anything you want is good. I’m…really good with that.”

Suga beams at him, reaching to touch Daichi’s cheek, which he’s sure is even more red than Suga’s. “I totally killed the moment,” he says.

“It’s okay,” Daichi assures him. “I actually really have to piss anyway. And get the condoms.”

“Oh good, me too. That wine is like…”

“Yep,” Daichi says, laughing and leaning in to kiss Suga again quickly. He’s such a buoyant mix of feelings right now—aroused, excited, nervous, and in love—he feels like he drank more than he actually did, in more ways than one. “It’s like it multiplied.”

“ _Yeah.”_

“Yeah,” Daichi says again, losing track a little of what he’s even saying, because Suga is so perfect, and Daichi wants so much to be able to give him everything he wants—tonight, and always. “I should…”

Suga nods, still smiling. “I’ll be right here.”

Right where Daichi first saw him. Right where he’s going to find out what it’s like to be inside someone who already feels like a second heartbeat in him.

* * *

Suga has a blanket spread out on the living room floor and music playing by the time Daichi comes back, letting himself in very quickly since he didn’t put his shirt back on. The bare-chested with sinfully well fitted dress pants look is very, very nice.

“Not metalcore?” Daichi asks with a crooked smile.

“Not tonight,” Suga says. He's down to just his underwear now, sitting on the blanket with lube and a couple pillows nearby. The music is something unobtrusive and folksy, because he likes having a little noise in the background, but all he really wants to hear is Daichi. “Another time, though. Aren’t you coming around to it a little bit?”

Daichi grins, dropping the condoms near the lube as he kneels at the edge of the blanket. “Only when it’s paired with kissing you.”

“I think,” Suga says, leaning over to slip his fingers in Daichi’s pants and pull him closer, “you’d listen to anything while kissing me.”

“That’s probably true,” Daichi agrees, catching Suga’s lips in a light kiss before pulling back. “You wanted my clothes off, right?”

Suga nods and helps Daichi undo his pants, watching him with what should be an embarrassing level of attentiveness as he steps out of them.

“And these?” Daichi asks, thumbing at the waistband of his boxers, then slipping them down with a smile when Suga nods again. Dachi is already half hard, flushed pink, and Suga’s pretty certain he’s close to completely hard just from looking at him.

“I know we have all night and all that,” Suga says, shimmying out of his own underwear while Daichi gets back on his knees. “But…”

“Yeah,” Daichi says, already leaning over him. “I can’t wait anymore either.”

Suga smiles as Daichi circles his arms around him, pulling him down to the floor. He’s loved all of the kissing and touching, the slow dancing and teasing, but he’s very ready now to enjoy letting Daichi take care of him in a way he didn't even know he could want so badly before.

Being with Daichi like this is so much like everything else with him, like knowing that if Suga closes his eyes and leans back, he’s not going to fall—he’ll be met by strong, waiting arms, warm and capable. He’s found this over and over in Daichi's steady shoulder, his listening ear, his constant support with Mai, and Suga’s so incredibly grateful for those things. So glad that he’s let Daichi in, and let himself experience how good it feels to have this kind of relationship. The _fullness_ of it.

Because it's not just the friendship and support, it’s all of the playfulness, and flirting, and electricity. The aching to be as close to each other as physically possible, and then still wanting to get closer. It's Suga’s absolute certainty that Daichi will make him feel amazing tonight because he’s _Daichi,_ and that is what he does for Suga. It's who he is. Attentive, and thoughtful, and so blessedly goddamn sexy.

He’s running the backs of his knuckles over Suga's cock now, moving over him to spread Suga’s legs with his own. Kissing him so, so slowly and tenderly while he pops the lube open and squeezes some out.

“Okay?” Daichi asks, slick fingertips pressing in to massage around his entrance, but not pushing inside.

“Yeah…please,” Suga says, bending his legs to spread them more comfortably, giving Daichi more room to kneel between them.

He doesn’t sit back though, he leans right over Suga, bringing their lips together while slowly pushing his fingertip inside him. He waits a moment, tracing Suga’s lower lip with his tongue, then eases it the rest of the way in.

Suga breathes, adjusting to having Daichi inside him, tasting the last traces of wine on his tongue. Just when he’s about to tell him he’s good, that it’s okay to keep going, Daichi slips his finger out carefully and presses it back in, with just the right amount of added pressure. He finds a good rhythm without Suga needing to guide him, stretches Suga’s rim with a second finger before pushing them both in together. He fingers him just the way he kisses—deep and measured and purposeful. Exactly the way Suga knows he’s going to fuck him.

“You,” Suga says, wiggling his hips a little when Daichi rubs three fingers over his entrance, “are _good_ at this. Why are you so good at everything, Daichi?”

Daichi laughs softly, his breath puffing out against Suga’s neck where he’s been making a slow trail of love bites. “Is it embarrassing to say I’ve had a lot of practice with this on myself?”

“Uh…no. That—” Suga has to stop for a second, because those three fingers are inside him now and it feels so bitingly good. “Thinking of you fingerfucking yourself like this is—oh, fuck… _yeah,_ right—right there.”

He doesn’t need to say it, his whole body tightened up the moment Daichi pressed against his prostate, but he doesn’t need to try to be quiet tonight either. He can praise Daichi as much as he wants; he can moan and curse when he starts to really drive his fingers into him, firm and quick; whine when he slips out suddenly, leaving him empty.

“ _Daichi,”_ he says, thinking the other man is teasing him.

“Condom,” Daichi says. He’s still curved over Suga, his lips brushing his skin, while he tries to blindly locate the box. “I can’t—”

“Other side,” Suga says. “On your left.”

“This _is_ my left.”

“No, that’s your…that’s _my_ right. Whatever, you’ve made my brain useless, just get it on.”

Daichi laughs, finally sitting up to get both a condom and the lube. Suga sits up too, because while he would very much like to watch Daichi putting it on himself, he also really wants to touch him.

“Here, let me,” he says, taking the little packet from Daichi and tearing it open. He _doesn’t_ want to wait anymore, but he can’t resist taking just a little time to run his hand along Daichi’s erection, pumping it slowly, then leaning over to press a kiss to the wet tip.

‘You’re very…inconsistent, Sugawara _—ah,”_ Daichi gasps when Suga dips his head to suck him shallowly. “You want the condom on, you take it away from me…”

“Do you _not_ want me to suck your cock, Daichi?” Suga asks, popping off to look up at him with an eyebrow raised. Daichi’s cheeks were already flushed from arousal, but they obligingly become a shade darker.

“I _do,_ but I also really want to fuck you, and I’ve been hard for like…this entire night.”

Suga grins, licking a bit of precum off his lip, then leaning in to kiss Daichi. “Me too,” he says. “I just wanted to taste you.”

“We can…come back to that,” Daichi says. “Please.”

“Of course,” Suga promises, finally fitting the condom over Daichi and rolling it into place. “We have all night.”

Daichi nods, running his tongue over his lips now, too. Probably tasting himself as well as Suga, which is such a nice idea.

Once Daichi is slick with lube and the bottle has been tossed aside, they lean back on the blanket together. Daichi lowering himself over him as Suga spreads his legs, bending them to press his heels into the backs of Daichi’s thighs.

He almost says something about how sweetly traditional this position is—face to face, chest to chest—but of _course_ Daichi would start by fucking him like this. It’s intimate and close and safe, and Suga wouldn’t want it any other way. That feeling is exactly what drew him to Daichi in the first place. He wraps his arms around Daichi’s back, widens his legs a little more, and moans softly at the hot press of skin against his hole as Daichi lines himself up.

When he pushes in, slow but insistent—until his hips are pressed right against Suga’s ass and Suga is full and breathless—it’s already everything Suga hoped this would be. Daichi doesn’t even need to move for it to be more and better than anything that came before he met him, because just like everything else they've done together, this isn’t just sex. Daichi feels amazing inside him—thick and solid, with a delicious suggestion of restrained power in muscles tense under Suga’s hands—but that's only a part of this. There's also Daichi’s lips warm on his own, and the way he's holding him so tightly, skin touching everywhere it can be. The way he breathes Suga’s name when he pulls out and slides back in. All those little things that say this is more about being close to Suga for Daichi than anything else, and Suga has definitely never felt that before.

“Alright?” Daichi asks, still moving in him so slowly, Suga feels himself spreading around him each time he presses in with that same carefully controlled strength.

“Yeah… _yes,”_ Suga says. “I’m really good, if you want to…” He lifts his hips to press against Daichi, showing him that he’s okay to go harder.

Daichi shakes his head though, the tip of his nose brushing Suga’s. “Not yet,” he says, and then his lips find Suga’s again, the bicep of his supporting arm straining as he uses his other hand to hold Suga’s chin, to open his mouth and lick inside it. He doesn’t break his tantalizing, careful pace, just moves in and out of Suga again and again, letting Suga feel himself being opened so many times he starts to shake from it. Daichi keeps kissing him, keeps running his hand over his skin as he pulls out again, and presses just his cockhead back in to start a new rhythm of shallow thrusts. Still so, so slow, never going all the way in.

“Daichi…fuck,” Suga whines, arching his back to try to get Daichi deeper as he drags his palm over his own erection, his other hand tight on Daichi’s shoulder. He wants Daichi to give in and really fuck him, and he wants him to keep teasing like this forever. It’s making his muscles ache with tension, his stomach dance with burning pangs of anticipation every time Daichi enters him and he thinks maybe this time he’ll give him his whole cock. His eyes prick with tears, his body shivers, his lips feel strange and tingly when he finally can't take it anymore and moves them to whisper _please, please, please._

Daichi answers him with a slight shift of his body between Suga’s legs right before he drives inside him, filling him so suddenly and completely that when Suga’s mouth falls open, he can’t even make a sound.

It takes three more powerful thrusts before his breathlessness lifts and his voice breaks out of him, and then there’s no stopping it. He’s spent so much time learning to have complete control over the way he sounds. Managing his breath, and his pitch, and the very particular way he speaks in interviews to come across in just the right way. Now, he doesn’t even recognize himself; he’s never sounded like this before—so raw and real and unabashedly satisfied. There's no hope of him keeping quiet even if he wanted to, he can only cry out every time Daichi’s hips slap against him, his cock spreading him wide, because it feels _so good._ Almost unbearably intense after being worked up so perfectly for so long.

And still, even as Daichi’s pace picks up, even once he’s pounding him so hard Suga’s mind has shut down and he’s only sweat and need and nerves on fire, still Daichi stays as close to him as he can—leaning over him; pressing wet, open kisses to his skin between thrusts; finding his hands to hold them tight.

Suga tries to say his name, wanting to tell him how incredible he feels, how perfect this angle is, how grateful he is that Daichi knows how to make him feel safe and destroyed all at once. But words are too hard when his panting breaths are making his head spin, and Daichi’s losing his rhythm now, starting to shake between Suga’s legs.

All Suga’s focus goes to keeping his eyes on Daichi, so he can drink in how stunning he is when he comes. Flushed, slick skin; muscles flexed as his orgasm grips him, washing over his face; eyes closed tight and swollen lips parting to let out a deep, shuddering moan. Suga drags his fingers down Daichi’s back, digs them into his ass to draw him closer, to keep him inside himself so he can feel every last thrust.

There’s something so wonderfully circular about this moment, being on his back here, on this floor. He had no idea, that day he met Daichi, that he’d wind up in this same spot with his whole world changed, and that sweet, confused, handsome boy holding him close and pressed deep inside him. Daichi lowers himself to Suga’s chest after he finishes, heart pounding and limbs trembling, while Suga runs his fingers up and down his spine and kisses his cheeks with lips gone numb, body aching with overstimulation and his own need to come.

Daichi rolls them over carefully, and there’s something equally nice about this, about Daichi being the one stretched out on his back now, and Suga getting to look down at him and see everything he wants in wide, honest eyes. He gets to watch Daichi wrap his hands around him and stroke him fast and hard, giving him just what he needs.

He’s wound so tight, rubbed so raw, that it’s only a matter of moments before he’s clenching around Daichi’s cock and jerking in his hands. He sobs out a cry of relief as all of that beautiful tension snaps inside him, shaking his core and humming through his bones, like the deepest bass does when the music is all the way up and he’s pressed to the floor. But he’s pressed to Daichi now, and this—spilling hot over Daichi’s hands, falling into his arms after to be kissed and held and whispered to—this is so much better. He can't imagine anything more calming than Daichi’s strong hands, and his soft lips ghosting over Suga’s skin with murmurs of _I love you_ , and _you feel so good,_ and then, _that wasn’t too hard, was it? Koushi?_

“ _No,”_ Suga says, wanting to laugh, but only managing to exhale heavily. “Daichi…that was…”

Speaking is still too much work, so he just kisses Daichi, slow and soft. He pulls off of him and stretches out against his side, running his fingers over his broad chest with their lips still pressed together.

“So. Good,” he says eventually. “Those words are…entirely inadequate though.”

“I’m glad,” Daichi says, tugging his fingers gently through the knots in Suga’s hair. “I was a little nervous, before. I didn’t want you to hate it.”

Suga does laugh now, tipping his head back and letting his hoarse voice roll over his tongue. Daichi just blinks at him. He seems to have somehow become even more cute than he was before. It _should_ be an impossibility, but…there it is.

“How?” Suga asks. “How could you possibly think I might hate it?”

“You said you like topping better! I didn’t want to let you down.”

“Oh, Daichi,” Suga says, cupping his face between his hands. “Who made you this way?”

“You’re teasing me,” Daichi says, pouting out his lips when Suga squishes his sweat-streaked cheeks.

“Of course I am, you’re ridiculous. That was fucking fantastic, and when I’ve recovered I want you to do it again.”

“I need a nap first.”

“And a blow job,” Suga points out, because he keeps his promises.

Daichi hides his smile and his pink cheeks in Suga’s hair, pulling him in close again, just the way he’s been holding him all night.

Even though Suga's the one who planned it, he can still barely believe they get to do this. That they still have hours ahead of them to clean up their mess together, to make another one, to fall asleep in each other's arms.

He’s slipping into a fuzzy state of half-consciousness when Daichi whispers, “Suga?”

“Hmm?”

“I know she's fine and we're having our date and everything, but can we just quickly...you know—”

“ _Yes,”_ Suga says, pulling himself out of his sleepy haze. “Of course, I want to check on her, too.”

They clean up quickly and move to curl up on the couch together in their boxers, a soft throw blanket wrapped around their bare shoulders while they both check their messages. Daichi has too many from Kuroo for Suga to even try to read over his shoulder, and Suga has a more moderate amount from Asahi—mostly pictures of Mai, cozy, and safe, and surrounded by her host of adoring uncles. And Kenma. Though even he looks quietly, cautiously affectionate, with a small crooked smile on his lips in the picture of Kuroo holding Mai up to him.

 **Asahi:** she was really good Suga! Barely cried and she's sleeping like an angel now  
**Asahi:** I don't think kuroo and kenma actually plan to sleep, so someone will have an eye on her all night  
**Asahi:** honestly I think the crazy loud video game put her right out  
**Asahi:** she's like you but even weirder ;)

 **Suga:** xD  
**Suga:** that sounds about right  
**Suga:** thank you Asahi  <3333

“Kuroo sent me so many pictures I think if we flip through them fast enough we can watch Mai's entire night like a video,” Daichi says.

“Let me see them all,” Suga laughs, setting his own phone aside to peer at a close-up picture of Mai’s face. “Oh my God, she's so cute! Have her cheeks always been that big?”

“Always,” Daichi says, wrapping an arm around Suga's shoulder. “She's 90% cheeks, and 10% poop.”

"Perfect baby,” Suga says, and Daichi nods, looking down at the next picture of Mai with the same fondness that Suga’s sure is all over his own face.

He knows that he can't see the future, but he also finds it harder and harder to imagine one where Daichi isn't beside him, smiling at their Baby Mai, just like this.

*

A few weeks after their fancy date, Suga and Daichi are back on the living room floor, but this time they are fully dressed, with a game of shogi set up between them. Daichi is trying very hard to get Suga invested, and Suga is counting Mai’s toes out loud while he tickles them.

“Sugawara, I’m handing your ass to you,” Daichi says.

“Language!” Asahi calls from the kitchen where he’s watching over whatever he has sizzling on the stove.

“I just don’t _care,”_ Suga says. “I want to, because you want me to, but oh my God, Daichi, it’s so boring.”

“You’re missing the point entirely.”

“Is the point to feel like I’m watching paint dry?”

Daichi glares at him, then shakes his head in dismay when Suga takes his turn. “That’s your lance, not your knight. It can’t jump over pieces.”

“Seems like a lance should be able to jump.”

“It…what? Suga, you’re doing this on purpose.”

Suga beams at Daichi, because it’s about time he figured that out, then executes a respectable move.

“You’ll never make him like games, Daichi,” Asahi says. “You don’t know how big it is that he’s even agreed to play with you more than once.”

Daichi raises an eyebrow at Suga, and he nods at him.

“It’s true. This is only because I love you so much.”

Daichi tries to look unimpressed, but he’s clearly both pleased and placated, and Suga does his best to only move his pieces properly for the rest of the game.

His thoughts do wander a little bit though, as he looks down at Mai. She’ll be three months old in less than a week, and it’s gnawing at Suga that she still hasn’t had her Omiyamairi, her first shrine visit. He’s not sure if he ever had one, there are no pictures from it certainly, but he’s seen photos at his friends’ houses, on crowded tabletops and portrait walls. There’s always a round-faced baby peeking out of a bright, heavy kimono, with smiling family members all around it.

Suga knew before Mai was born that he couldn’t replicate those photos. There’s no mother, no proud stoic grandfather and doting grandmother. But there isn’t only Suga now, either.

"Daichi…" he says.

“Don’t move there, I’ll get to promote my rook.”

Suga backtracks and slides his piece to a temporarily safe spot.

“Good,” Daichi says. “What were you gonna say?”

“Oh, I was thinking…I haven’t taken Mai to a shrine yet.”

“You haven’t really taken her anywhere,” Daichi points out gently.

That’s very true. But now that everyone knows why Suga left Hikaru, he really doesn’t have to try to stay out of sight with Mai anymore. If someone wants to take pictures of him with a round bundle strapped to his chest, they can go for it.

“I know,” he says, smiling. “But I think I’m ready to, and I was wondering…I really want you to be there.”

Daichi looks up from the board, his finger going still on the piece he was about to move. “Of course,” he says softly, meeting Suga’s eyes. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

“Okay,” Suga says, and even though he knew Daichi would say yes, it makes his chest feel exceptionally warm and light, seeing how simple it is for Daichi, that of course he’ll come in the place of Mai’s family. Though really, not _in the place._ Daichi, Asahi, all the people who have loved and supported both Suga and Mai, they aren’t a stand in—they’re the most real thing Suga’s ever known.

“I hope you’re planning to invite Kuroo too, though, because he’ll never forgive you if he misses out on Baby Mai in a kimono.”

Suga laughs, tickling Mai’s little feet again and making her smile. She does that now, smiles very much on purpose. Though to everyone else’s deep frustration and sadness, only Suga has been successful in making it happen so far.

“Of course Kuroo can come, and obviously it’s non-negotiable for you, Asahi,” Suga says over his shoulder, waiting for Asahi’s answering nod and smile before turning back to Daichi. “I wish Tooru and the guys could be there too, but—”

“Ask them,” Daichi says. “Couldn’t we just plan it for when they’re able to come? We don't really have to go at any specific time.”

Suga supposes that’s true. They’ve already completely missed the traditional age of thirty-three days for baby girls, and those old standards aren’t followed very rigidly, if at all, these days anyway. If Suga is going to take Mai to the shrine with a troop of young men along with them, they might as well go on their own schedule entirely.

“I’m still not sure how it is that you make everything seem so easy,” Suga says. “Maybe that’s why you like shogi so much. Your brain instantly sees through the chaos and knows what to do.”

“There’s no chaos in shogi, Suga,” Daichi tells him seriously, but his eyes are smiling, and he shifts the board to the side so he can move closer to Suga and Mai. “I can’t get this baby to smile for me though,” he adds, in that low, gentle voice he uses just for Mai.

“Ah…the greatest puzzle,” Suga sighs, smiling as Daichi kisses Mai’s cheek, then lifts her shirt to blow a raspberry on her round tummy.

“Nothin’,” Daichi says after.

Mai is indeed looking up at him with only the barest hint of a smile. It seems tremendously intentional, and Suga wouldn’t put it past his tiny daughter to somehow be playing with all of them.

“You’ll get there,” Suga tells him, patting his shoulder. “Just make it happen before Kuroo does, if you don’t want him to lord it over you for the rest of your lives.”

“Oh God,” Daichi says. “Come on Mai-chan, you don’t know what that would mean. Let me tell you a few things about your Uncle Kuroo…”

Suga leans back on the floor, smiling up at Asahi when he comes in to sit with them. They listen to Daichi talking to Mai conspiratorially, like she’s perfectly capable of understanding all of his Kuroo stories. It’s still one of Suga’s very favorite things, the way he does this. And the way he looks when he holds her, so strong and careful.

Asahi tunes him out after a while, leaning into Suga to talk to him quietly.

“Do you think,” he says slowly, “it would be okay if I invited Noya, too? To Mai’s Omiyamairi?”

“I think it would be a tragic oversight if you didn’t,” Suga says. “You should also wear that deep blue yukata, and tell Noya he can thank me for suggesting it.”

“Wait,” Daichi says, “Yukata? Can’t we just wear suits?”

“We can,” Suga says. “But have you _seen_ Asahi in a yukata?”

“Oh my God, I’m not wearing a yukata, especially not when you say it like that.”

Suga cackles and Daichi smiles at him, shaking his head.

“If you thought Kuroo was trouble, you should know your daddy is really no better,” he tells Mai.

“Ignore him, Mai-chan, he’s slandering me.”

“Do you need me to look up ‘slander’ for you?” Daichi asks. “Because I’m pretty sure ‘the truth’ doesn’t fall under the definition.”

Suga throws a shogi piece at him, which has the double benefit of ending the game, and inciting a wrestling match that ends with Asahi swooping Mai out of the way, and Suga very happily pinned under Daichi’s weight.

“I’ll get you next time,” Suga tells him, even though he probably won’t. “I’m only three reps behind now.”

“Four. I’m up another one.”

“Goddammit,” Suga says, pulling Daichi in by the collar of his shirt to kiss him, since Asahi has already fled the scene with Mai anyway.

He is not actually remotely disappointed. Daichi will probably always be able to lift more, and Suga will always be the better dancer (though Daichi has agreed to subsequent lessons for every rep Suga gains), and all that means is that they get to keep doing all the things Suga’s been falling in love with over the past months. Teasing each other, and helping each other, and sharing Daichi's earbuds on slow walks home from the gym.

Suga’s especially in love with the fact that they don’t even need to be listening to music to feel like the same song is humming inside them.

*

It takes two days for Suga to even be able to talk to Tooru, because of Hikaru’s schedule. And then another two weeks before they’re able to come to Tokyo, which means Mai is precisely ninety-four days old on the day of her Omiyamairi. Kuroo very helpfully points out, from his Google research, that any time within the range of thirty and one hundred days is acceptable.

Suga doesn’t think it really would have mattered if they’d missed the window, but it’s still nice to know, and it’s incredibly nice to have every person he loves here to come with them.

It was madness when all of Hikaru descended upon them, smothering Suga with hugs, talking over each other, gushing and cooing over Mai (or approaching her with great caution, as dictated by their personalities). Tobio eyed her from a distance for a good twenty minutes before he was hauled over to feel how soft her hair is by Hikaru’s newest and shortest member.

Hinata-kun, it turns out, is just as adorable and magnetic as he appears in pictures, and also more fiery than his round cheeks and warm smile suggest. Suga can see why Tooru is jealous of him, and why despite that jealousy he caught Tooru putting a protective arm around Hinata's shoulder when Koutarou almost bowled him over in his hurry to greet Suga and Mai. Koutarou looked near tears when he realized he’d unintentionally shouldered the little redhead out of the way, and it made Suga’s heart swell to see the way the new boy has already been pulled so closely into the fold. They’ll always be Suga’s family, but the space Hinata has filled isn’t Suga's anymore. He’s made a new one where he fits in a way he’s never known before, and he’s so glad Hikaru can still be full without him. So happy that even though things have shifted, they’re still here for Suga.

They’d had to stay in a hotel for the night, but when morning came they all returned, and both apartments are in utter chaos now, with half of Hikaru’s members at Suga’s, and the other half making an unholy amount of noise next door while everyone finishes getting ready to go.

Hajime, Koutarou, Tobio, and Hinata are all with Kuroo. Noya and Kenma are there as well, so Suga can only imagine the two smaller boys are wedged into equally small spaces for everyone to somehow fit in the same small set of rooms. As far as he can tell through the walls, there’s an extremely intense tournament going on, and a fairly good chance the apartment manager is going to confiscate their PS4 by the end of the day.

In his own apartment, Asahi and Keiji are hurrying around the kitchen, wrapping up the last dishes they prepared that morning, so everything will be ready for lunch when they finish at the shrine. Daichi is trying to sort out Kei’s tie for him, while Tadashi reads useless and conflicting instructions off his phone. Kei is very tall and annoyed, Daichi is sternly telling him to stop moving while he pulls down on the tie, and Suga is endlessly amused by the whole spectacle when he peeks out at them through his bedroom door. He is in there with Tooru, debating over how foolish it would be to put Mai’s white hiyoku on any sooner than they absolutely have to.

“Technically, if she poops on it, the kimono’s gonna cover it anyway,” Suga reasons.

“But she’ll still smell like poo.”

“True. Okay…let’s just get her dressed when we get there.”

Tooru nods briskly, picking up both the hiyoku and the special kimono that will be tied behind Suga’s back while he holds Mai. “There’s toothpaste on your cheek,” he says.

Suga dashes into the bathroom to rinse it off, checking to make sure there isn’t any on his dark grey suit. He’s just running a hand through his hair when Hajime leans in through the front door.

“Oi!” he calls. “Cars are here, let’s go!”

As there are fourteen of them, plus Mai, and nine of them are highly recognizable, they decided it would probably be best not to all pile onto public transportation to get to the shrine. They’ll be heading there in three sleek, dark cars instead, one with a seat already installed for Mai.

It’s a noisy and somewhat frantic affair as they make their way out of the building. Hinata and Tobio racing ahead of the rest, Asahi calling after them to be careful on the steps, and Daichi grabbing Suga’s hand to pull him back for just a moment, to kiss him slowly in the doorway of the apartment building before they follow everyone else.

“You good?” he asks. “You need me to do anything?”

“I think we have everything? I assume Asahi checked the stove before—”

Suga’s words are cut off by Asahi doubling back, calling something about making sure everything was turned off over his shoulder.

“I _think…_ Asahi’s got it,” Daichi says, and Suga laughs.

“This is insane,” he says, looking out at their row of cars, one of them almost obscured by all the boys supervising the strapping in of Baby Mai. “We have too many people.”

“Well, Sugawara…you’re the one who made such a cute baby. You have to deal with the consequences.”

Suga sticks his tongue out at Daichi, then turns at the sound of Asahi sprinting towards them again.

“It was off!” he says. “We’re good!”

Suga lets him get past, takes a moment to steal one more kiss from Daichi, and then they’re all on their way—a whole fleet of men in suits, ready to express their thanks for the birth of one small, round baby girl, and pray for all of the good things they want for her.

They arrive a little early, so they wander through the surrounding gardens, talking and joking in voices that are at least attempting to be quiet. Suga has an ache inside as he watches them, the kind that comes from wanting to talk to every person here as much as possible, but not actually having the time to do it. It’s a wonderful problem to have, though, he knows that. He’s always known that for a boy who didn’t start with very much, he’s been exceptionally blessed since then.

He’s feeling (typically) emotional and on the brink of being weepy already, when Asahi comes up beside him, leaning into him so their arms bump together.

“I'm sorry your family isn't here for this, too,” he says quietly.

Suga smiles, because he was just thinking about this, but he isn’t sorry at all. He’s learned so well that blood isn’t what makes a family, and it’s not a lesson he regrets.

“It’s okay,” he says. “I’m not exactly alone.”

“I know,” Asahi says, smiling at everyone milling around them, too. At Noya and Hinata sending leaves fluttering to the ground as they jump up to tap branches, competing to see who can get the highest. And at Keiji and Kenma talking quietly, Hajime and Daichi flicking pine needles in Tooru’s hair when he isn’t looking, Kuroo taking pictures of them all. “But listen,” he goes on. “I want...I only wish they could be here because there’s stuff you should get to hear that, like...normally parents or grandparents would say to you. So I want you to let me say it, okay?”

“Asahi…you don’t—”

“I know we’re the same age, but I’m taller, and I can grow a beard really fast,” Asahi adds with a sheepish smile.

“Oh my God,” Suga laughs. “Of course I’ll listen, you don’t have to convince me.”

“Okay, I…I just want you to know how proud I am of you. I'm so, so proud, Suga. You're the best person I know, and you’re doing such a good job with Mai.”

“Asahi…” Suga says, shaking his head.  

“No…Suga, you said you’d listen. Your parents can’t tell you these things, but you have me, so I get to do it.” He pauses then, waiting for Suga to nod before continuing. “You're so patient, and honest, and strong, and you make me feel like…you say that Daichi makes everything seem easier for you, but you do the same thing for me, you always have. I _love_ having you here, and I'm so glad that you chose to come live with me. And that I get to be part of Mai's life. I’m just…you’re a good man, Suga, and I love you a lot.”

Suga should have known there was no way in hell he wouldn’t cry today. Later, he will tell Asahi how happy he is living with him, too. How much he loves his gentle spirit, and his warm hugs, and his beautiful, beautiful heart. Right now though, he just wraps his arms around him and squeezes him as tightly as he can, for as long as he can.

“Thank you,” he says.

Asahi sniffles softly and kisses the top of Suga's head, then pushes him back gently, tipping his chin up in the direction of the shrine. “It’s almost eleven.”

Suga nods, and they go together to retrieve Mai from Tadashi for the ceremony. There really are far too many of them, so only Asahi, Daichi, Kuroo, and Tooru go into the shrine with Suga and Mai—Suga holding the baby to his chest, a bright red kimono scattered with colorful flowers tied over them. Mai looks so incredibly precious in it, especially with her frilly, white collar, that Suga is barely coping. Kuroo has basically been in a state of hyperventilation since all of Hikaru arrived on his doorstep anyway, but when he first saw Mai in her ceremonial garb he almost short-circuited entirely, smacking Daichi’s arm over and over until Daichi finally put him in a headlock, much to Tooru’s amusement.

Inside the shrine though, it’s calm and quiet. They kneel on tatami mats while the priest conducts the brief prayers and rituals. Mai makes soft noises all throughout it, watching the priest curiously, especially when he shakes a stick covered in bells near her, but she doesn’t fuss or cry once (which is absolutely remarkable, and probably the result of divine intervention). When the ceremony is complete, they’re given little wooden cups of sake, and a bag of gifts for Mai—small tokens and charms, and an _ema_ for them to write a wish on and hang in the shrine.

They go back out into the bright, warm day to take photographs. First with just Suga and Mai, then with Daichi beside them, and with Asahi, Kuroo, Tooru, and Hajime flanking them, and then more and more smiling faces until they have to ask a passing stranger to photograph them all.

“Let’s take some of the members,” Tooru suggests after, reaching out to grab Suga’s sleeve when he starts to step back. “And _you,_ stupid. I’ll put it on Instagram and make sure everyone knows they’d better fucking support you and Mai-chan.”

“Oh my God, Tooru, this is a shrine,” Suga scolds him, but he can't keep a smile off his face.

They manage to get a few good group shots before Mai’s pleasant mood inevitably runs out and she starts to wail.

“Noo, Cutie-chan!” Tooru cries. “We’re not finished yet! My hair is perfect, and so is your daddy’s, and—”

“Here,” Daichi says, untying the bright kimono so he can take Mai in his own arms. “You guys take your selfies; Mai and I will go confer over what her wish will be.”

“Maybe she’ll wish Uncle Tooru a new set of eardrums,” Tooru quips. “Good _lord,_ Kou-chan, she’s gonna put us all to shame one day.”

Suga kisses Mai’s rapidly reddening cheek and thanks Daichi, watching him walk Mai towards a small copse of trees nearby.

“Has he signed the adoption papers yet?” Tooru asks, leaning heavily and obnoxiously on Suga’s shoulder.  

“Hush,” Suga says, wrapping his arm around his friend’s waist so they can take a picture together. He’s blushing when he sees himself on the screen, and Tooru looks immensely self-satisfied.

“I’m just saying. Mai-chan is a lucky baby to have two fantastic dads. It’s exactly what I would wish for her.”

“You’re so skilled at making it hard to hate you,” Suga says, and Tooru grins, snapping a picture that captures Suga side-eyeing him with a fond and embarrassingly pleased smile.

It takes him a little while to extricate himself from his friends, but eventually he slips away to go find Daichi and Mai. He spots them in the shade of a wide, willowy tree, the sunlight dripping through its leaves to land in soft patches on Daichi's shoulders. When Suga's close enough to make out Daichi's voice he stops, not wanting to interrupt whatever little moment they’re sharing.

“…really rocked that kimono, Mai-chan,” Daichi’s saying. “Not everyone can pull all that color off, trust me. But you know what? You know what's even better than how pretty you are?” Daichi pauses then, lifting Mai up higher so her serious, round little face is right in front of his. “There are so many people here today, and you're dressed in this crazy get-up, and that priest was…” He lowers his voice a little. “I mean he wasn't _not_ terrifying, right? But you…you were so _good_ and so _brave,_ Mai. You get that from your daddy, you know.”

Suga bites his lip, wondering if he should say something, or keep letting himself watch this. Daichi is talking more softly now, and Suga steps a little closer to hear him asking Mai if she's the bravest girl.

“No nodding yet?” he asks. “That's a lot of work for your little neck, huh? It’s okay, you'll get there. And you are…you’re the bravest and the best, Baby Mai. The best girl.”

He tickles her stomach gently when he says this, and a giggle bubbles out of her. The most pure sound Suga has ever heard in his entire life.

“Oh my God,” Daichi gasps. “Mai! You’re…oh my God, I love you so much.”

Suga doesn't know how he could possibly feel more moved than he does right at this moment, but then he sees Mai’s smile—the biggest, most joyful and charming smile, aimed right at Daichi, and he watches Daichi’s look of surprise melt instantly into a teary smile.

“Mai-chan…look at you.”

“She’s so happy,” Suga says, finally stepping into Daichi’s field of vision, because this is his actual life right here. It’s hard to believe still, but he really gets to be a part of this. “I've never seen her smile that big.”

Daichi turns to him, not bothering to wipe at his eyes. “Don’t tell Kuroo about this. I mean tell him! But not that I cried. Is this a Sugawara trait? This propensity for bringing me to tears?”

“I think…it probably has something to do with how much you love us,” Suga says, brushing his thumb over Daichi's cheekbone. “Or how much we love you. Probably both.”

“She _smiled,”_ Daichi says. “At me.”

Suga just nods and smiles, too. His heart is still too full just now to try to put words to how it made him feel to see his daughter smiling at Daichi that way, to see how _happy_ it made him. He remembers when he thought he and Daichi couldn’t even be possibilities for each other, and when he worried that he could never be a good enough father for Mai.

He knows he has so much to learn still. So many mistakes to make and try his best to fix. But for now, he’s learned that he was wrong, before. That possibilities exist even where it seems like they shouldn't be able to, and that being good enough for Mai might really just mean doing exactly what he’s been doing.

He _loves_ her, and he’s here, and he’ll stay here.

And Daichi, as improbable as it seemed before Suga knew him, is here too. But it doesn't seem improbable at all now. It seems exactly right.

In the end they write a simple wish on Mai’s little wooden board. Just one word, the one that belongs to her the most, the one that Suga gave her. They write _Mai,_ because it means dance, and dancing can mean so many things. Music, a healthy heart working hard, a joy so big it can only be expressed through movement. And that—the nameless joy that Suga has found in Mai, and in his love for Daichi, and Daichi’s love for both of them—is all they really wish for Mai’s life.

She already has the only other thing Suga wants most for her, and in giving it to her, he’s found it for himself, too. The thing he’s tried to grasp over and over with music loud enough to make his heart stutter, because in the midst of those broken voices and desperate rhythms, he was really only ever looking to find peace. The kind that is the happiest accompaniment to safety and belonging.

And now…here it is. It’s the baby in his arms with soft, familiar eyes, and the man beside them, straightening Mai’s wishing plaque where it hangs from a bright red string. The one who kisses Mai’s head after, and smiles at Suga like he knows just what he’s thinking, which he probably does. Because it’s not just that Suga belongs with Mai and Daichi, it’s that Daichi belongs with them. Suga knows, because he sees that same peace that’s inside him on the handsome, earnest face leaning in to kiss his cheek now.

Suga’s story is not a sad one. He's not even sure if it was ever a story at all, or if it's always been a song. So melancholy at the start, simple and achingly hollow, but swelling and building and lifting beautifully as it goes along. Finally evolving into something uncommonly bright and full that sounds a little like Mai’s laugh, and a little like Daichi soothing her steadily to sleep, and especially like the feeling in Suga’s chest when Daichi takes his hand, walking in step with him towards their friends, towards home, and towards everything and anything that awaits them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I couldn't resist making a [_Like a Song_ playlist](http://ellessey-writes.tumblr.com/post/173394386305/i-couldnt-write-a-fic-called-like-a-song-and-not), so you can listen to all of the songs mentioned in this fic, and some that just fit it perfectly.)
> 
> Well...*deep breath* It's time for Ellie's long-winded end notes (*^^*) If you've read _The Chronicles of the Virgin Asahi_ , then you can probably imagine I have some familiarity with anxiety—and as the past year has been particularly challenging for me on that front, whenever I sat down to write, I just wanted to spend my time with something soothing. I wanted music and comfort and softness. I wanted my favorite characters laughing and loving each other. And so...here we are with 110k words of all of those things.
> 
> I _loved_ writing this story, and I also really loved sharing it with you guys and getting to hear about how warm and happy it made some of you feel, too. Thank you once more for reading, and for the kudos and comments and messages along the way ❤
> 
> Even though I had to bring the story to an end, there's still so much more that I see happening for these boys and their girl, and I needed to get a little bit of their future down in writing. So if you want to pop in on them and see how they're doing (spoiler alert...they're really happy), **I'll be posting a small epilogue next weekend**!
> 
> I'm [ellessey-writes](http://ellessey-writes.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [karasuno123](https://twitter.com/karasuno123) on Twitter, and you can find the rest of my AO3 DaiSuga works [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&work_search%5Brelationship_ids%5D%5B%5D=836528&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=0&user_id=Ellessey).


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